"Tick, tick, tick!"

With each tick, tick, tick of the clock we inch closer to the grave.  With that same "tick" some soul is approaching birth.  The life cycle; birth and death is not simple for any of us.  I firmly believe the day we are born, the day we die and what we do here is pre-determined.  Yes, I have been forced to believe in predestination.

"Your bounds are set!"  My grandfather said that often.  I was always puzzled; "What does he mean your "bounds" are set?"

If GOD already knows what we are going to do, how and why we are going to do it, why does he let us do it?

"For His own purpose.  For His own plan."  Why did GOD let King Saul plague David?  David truly loved King Saul.  What caused King Saul to become insanely jealous, treacherous and murderous?  Did GOD release King Saul over to a reprobate mind?  Or was it all in Divine Order?  Something that had to happen.  David continued to love King Saul even when he realized that King Saul was up to deceit and wanted nothing but David's downfall.

How did David cope with such grief?  He prayed.  He sought the LORD.  I can't worry about the people that claim they don't believe me.  I am sure there were many people that told David that he was tripping, that they didn't want to get involved, it was a "family matter".

I am sure David had family members that shunned him.  No one is trying to embrace the terrible embarrassing shocking truth.  Where could this truth lead?  Could it lead to some other unsolved, unrecognized "deaths"?  Will you be forced to recognize "demon possesson"?

Will people wonder why you kept a serpent pressed close to your heart proclaiming that she was "Mother of the Year"?   You knew she wasn't.  You also knew that you were deathly afraid of her.  Afraid to cross her, to disappoint her,  to give her any ammunition, any cause to curse or ridicule you.

But, no matter what you did it was" dumb", "ignorant", "no-sense-ED!"  "You trying to be white!"  "You think you bedder than eva'body else."  "You a liar!" (I pinned my demonic nature on you.  Successfully got the entire family to hate or shun you.  Robbed you of graduate degrees and great careers.  Robbed you of a real marriage.  Robbed you of "normalcy".

Poor Martha, standing there ridiculing you, calling you names and saying indecent things about you for being "weird".  She's laughing out loud pretending to be happy.  She is "happy" or at least satisfied.  Your brothers still hate you, rebuff you, distance themselves from you at her behest.  She is still winning.  She still has all of the power.  When people would rather please you than GOD!  When people are too blind to see.  To ignorant, too sorry to give honor where honor is due.

"My people perish for lack of knowledge!"  You can't give a "dummy" knowledge.  You will just get frustrated.  Be careful that you don't lose your blessing trying to rescue them.

One day you finally realized, you finally woke up.  She is going to talk about you, chide you, ridicule you no matter what.  You can never do anything right.  You sent her flowers for Mother's Day and she was upset because they arrived in a box and she had to arrange them herself.  She complained to you!  Demanded that you call FTD and complain to them.  The nerve!  This woman! this creature that sexually violated her own little defenseless children!  "This f****** b****!  This common scum of the earth w*****! has the damn f******* nerve to complain about the flowers I sent her!  "First of all you bedder be glad I sent yo' stanking a** some flowers in the first f****** place!  B****! I haven't forgotten that you have never apologized!  I know the nasty s***! you did!  Yes YOU Did!  You were behind it because you are a PERVERT!"

You know that you are a damn PERVERT! (Playing with your little brother's penis when he was a toddler)  You can't fix a "thing", you can't change a condition without acknowledging it.  You have issues!  Serious issues!  You broke some terrible taboo laws.  You need to repent.

No, I am not going to hell for you.  I am not going to pretend that you are normal.

If you hate that feeling, pray.  If you regret the awful things you did, pray.  If you have one ounce of remorse for your many victims, tell them.

GOD still loves you.  He understands what you did and why.  You remained entrenched in your evil treachery too long.

GOD loves all of us.  Forgives all of us of our many sins.  We ALL must repent!

Stay in His WORD!   Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)