Praise the Living LORD! "Who so ever will, let him come." Come down to the throne of Grace, repentant, humble and submissive. GOD loves you and forgives you. "If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways, honor me and serve me, then they shall hear form Me , from Heaven." (paraphrased)
The Dear LORD in His infinite wisdom knew how you would be led astray, led into captivity. GOD understands that you would have dull understanding. GOD knows that His "church" is filled with vipers. He knows that satan positioned them, "rewarded" them. But GOD blinded them.
"He that hath eyes let him see." Let him see and hear. GOD is a GOD of love and compassion. Attending "church" is not enough. Calling His name in vain is not enough. GOD is not impressed with your " fakery", your silky smooth voice, your phony walk. HE is not impressed with your entertaining antics.
GOD is not pleased if you are using His WORD, His pulpit, to deceive the gullible and the simple. GOD knows you. HE knows your every thought. Do not deceive yourself. I don't care how many people "honor" you, compliment you, put you high on a pedestal. "GOD's got the keys and you can't get in!"
Jesus told us that we would know you by your fruit. Your Fashion Fair, a thousand beautiful coiffed wigs, and expensive designer robes won't get you in. Memorized prayers and sermons stolen from the Internet won't get you in.
GOD knows your heart and every foul deed. Yes, HE forgives you. But you must REPENT! Don't tell GOD how many people you got to their feet hand clapping, hooping and hollering. Don't tell GOD how many people you led to "salvation". Don't brag about how many people you led to join the "church" after your dynamic performance.
"Look into your own life." "Look well to your going, your coming out and going in." GOD is not impressed with your artificial, phony "religion". GOD knows your heart.
Fight against GOD if you want to. Block as many as you can from GOD's Glory, His Kingdom, His Goodness. Keep on. Think that just because you've lived an extremely long life that you got over. Keep thinking that the world will never know. Keep grinning, keep plotting. Keep thinking that you are the finest, the most brilliant deceiver of GOD's WORD that ever lived. Keep thinking that you are safe. Keep thinking that your minions and your flunkies will protect you.
Keep telling everyone that I am a liar. Keep denying GOD's Gospel Truth. Just keep on. You are going to wake up in a worse hell than you are in now.
GOD is not going to forsake His WORD for you. GOD is not going to let His children suffer for you. The whole world is not stupid. Some people can think for themselves. Some people can see and remember. Keep fighting against a prick. Keep lying and denying. Wait until GOD pulls you down, lays you on your bed of affliction. That will be time enough. You can say you are sorry then. You can repent then. You can tell us that you are sorry then. You can admit that you have been a disciple for the devil your entire life then.
"Serve Him while you are able!" Come to the cross while you are able. Give up lying! Give up witchcraft! Give up plotting and manipulating. Give up leading GOD's children into captivity. Use the many gifts GOD gave you for building up, not tearing down.
"Who so ever will, let him come." Do not let anything or anyone keep you from GOD's Goodness. Tell that demon to get out of your way. Ask GOD to take your fear and shame. Love the LORD with all your mind and heart.
I'm so glad about it! All I can do is dance and prance. I'm testifying telling the world about GOD's Goodness. I'm telling the world how HE saved me. Built a hedge all around me. I was doomed, sunk, destroyed from birth. But, My LORD picked me up. HE gave me a heart and mind for Christ. GOD taught me how to love my neighbor. GOD taught me how to love my enemies. This Joy I have the world did not give to me and the world can not take it away. The most cunning devil from hell coiled her serpentine
girth around my neck and tried to choke all GOD's Goodness and mercy out of me. It didn't work. GOD put Jerome Walters in my path, in my way. He taught me by example. He was a good man and he was MURDERED by his own daughter.
At eighty-six she still refuses to admit her foul deed. Still foolishly proud of a long life of debauchery and sin, she yet hides in the "church". (SimonTemple A.M.E.Zion church in Fayetteville, North Carolina) Still pretends that she found a way in. Martha! except ye repent, you will not get in.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
You haven't heard from me ...
for a while because I have been working. I came out of retirement to teach again. No, it wasn't that I missed teaching that much. I'm broke. My pension is not enough for this economy. And COLA (Cost of Living Adjustment) is a joke. That magic formula that The Teacher Retirement system uses to calculate COLA is designed in such a unique manipulative manner I never qualified. Well, I did finally qualify once. But surprise, surprise, the premiums for my medical and dental insurance went up significantly.
You guessed it. I was sinking low fast. The "middle class" is shrinking. The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer, and nobody cares.
I just want to brag, to testify. I was living well, enjoying my retirement. Sharing my home with my "retired" brilliant medical doctor brother. Somebody put a bee in his bonnet and he left me high and dry and returned to the bosom of his demonic mother.
I thought we lived well together. Neither one of us had to work. We gardened, created art, pursued our gifts, and just chilled. When he left of course I found myself economically destitute. (Too many bills at the end of my money.)
But, GOD promised me that He would never leave me. My grandfather taught me that the righteous are NEVER forsaken. GOD will put a ram in the bushes. MY DAUGHTER covered me. My beautiful brilliant daughter did not let me suffer a broke day. Praise the LORD!
Tell me ... why was I still certified four years after retirement? Tell me how was I able to get hired by the first school system I applied to? How did I end up teaching my dream subject, Advanced Placement United States history? It is prestigious, it is a college level course. Tell me, how did I end up with a Principal that does not micro manage? a supportive discipline team that doesn't coddle or pamper miscreants?
I am here to remind you, to testify, that GOD will do just what He said. Fortunately or unfortunately I didn't come from a supportive family. I have a mother that is extremely wicked and won't be saved. I will not be intimidated, frightened, terrorized, or silent any more.
I will recognize GOD's Gospel truth. I will no longer deny something I've known, felt, and refused to accept for far too long. She is one of the worse sadistic sociopaths that has ever lived on this planet earth. She does have a Jezebel spirit. She has always demanded to be in control. Not like some parents that demand to control in order to steer their children in the right direction. She wants to control in other to steer you into captivity, in order to steal your joy. She lives to see you suffer. She demands to see you suffer. She "coos" and cons, uses her best fake "mother" voice to make sure you do the absolute wrong thing. Then she laughs. Broadcasts your bad news to everyone she can. She delights in your downfall because she failed. You will suffer, you must suffer because she is suffering. You must be ashamed because she is ashamed. She lives to torture because she is a sadist. If her manipulative "viperous" cunning doesn't work fast enough to suit her she turns to her demonic witchcraft.
I will not have anything to do with her. I do pray for her. I no longer hate her. I am warning any and everyone that cares to listen. She is afflicted with an obsessive selfishness. She is all for self. She does think she is the grand dame and deserves a pass from GOD's WORD, His laws and precepts because she is "yalla" and she sounds good and fools many when she is "preaching". She is cruel and common, incestuous and perverted. She is a closet lesbian, a "bulldagger". I think they call them "studs" today. She has always wanted to be a man. She is very manly and masculine, down to her deep baritone voice.
I have been accused of being very masculine. Perhaps I am. She was my hero, my model for behavior. I also grew up with five brothers. My grandmother was dead. I see now I never had a great "feminine" influence. I do not hold my mother's sexual preference against her. After all she was savagely raped as a small child.
I hold her stealth "demonism" against her. I hold her cunning, jealousy and murderous character against her. I am repulsed and reviled. Any human being that could mistreat, lay hands on and mistreat my saintly grandfather and continue to lie about it, should not be counted as human. Any human being that attempts to defy GOD's WORD by putting on a robe and acquiring a license to preach just so she can laugh and continue to destroy should not be counted worthy of token respect.
I find her to be despicable! I am ashamed of her but I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus told us; "KNOW YE THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!' I have been set free.
I am no longer suffering and confused. Any man, any woman that will put their nasty carnal demonic hands on a little child needs our prayers. They need to be put away. They need to be found out, pointed out and put out of their misery. Martha has known of her sick demonic nature for over 86 years. To my knowledge she has never tried to get any help. She has enjoyed her reign of torture and debauchery. She has been laughing at all of us for her entire life. She demands to be honored, feared, kept a secret.
I'm proud to tell on her. I'm glad, eternally grateful that GOD opened my eyes, lifted the veil and exposed that sick serpent to me. Thank you Jesus!
I am not the only person on this earth attached to a sick succubus. I pray that GOD will strengthen your heart, give you courage. I pray that Almighty GOD will free you from your demons.
Have faith, trust GOD. If you live righteously, love the LORD, He will save you. He will keep a ram in the bushes, make a way out of no way. You don't have to fear and cower from any sick, foul, common demon. Any woman can call herself a mother. That doesn't make her a mother. Some women are neglectful and absent from their children's lives. They don't nurture or help their children in any way. They don't help, but they don't deliberately harm. But when you get a woman willing to do the unthinkable the unconscionable, to commit acts so vile, repugnant and putrid I will no longer repeat them. When that person is foolish enough to think her hooping and hollering in Simon Temple A.M.E.Zion church saves her. When no one cares enough to pray for her, to speak the truth to her. When a woman is so terrifying that her sons still fear her at 86 years old, somebody is standing in the need of prayer.
I will tell you what my grandfather always said, he was a brilliant orator, a word crafter. He spoke eloquently, precisely and concisely; "Come by here LORD, somebody needs you."
Go by 519 Rock Canyon Road LORD. Martha needs you. Martha is suffering. She has suffered her whole life. Her self-hatred made her hate others, hurt others. She is the worse thing that could have every happened to her brilliant beautiful children. Find her LORD, hold her hand. Tell her that she is forgiven. Tell her that you forgive her of her foolishness, her stubbornness. Tell her that you forgive her of her perversion and awful cruelty. Let her know that you forgive her of her long misspent life. Let her know that you are not fooled, that you have never been fooled. Tell her that you forgive her for MURDERING her own father. Tell her that you forgive her for deliberately destroying her entire family, for refusing to be honest, for refusing your Truth.
Dear LORD thank you for my great faith. Thank you for walking with me, taking with me, leading and guiding me every step of the way. Praise the LORD. Trust GOD. Put your hand in the hand of the hand of the man that stilled the waters.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
You guessed it. I was sinking low fast. The "middle class" is shrinking. The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer, and nobody cares.
I just want to brag, to testify. I was living well, enjoying my retirement. Sharing my home with my "retired" brilliant medical doctor brother. Somebody put a bee in his bonnet and he left me high and dry and returned to the bosom of his demonic mother.
I thought we lived well together. Neither one of us had to work. We gardened, created art, pursued our gifts, and just chilled. When he left of course I found myself economically destitute. (Too many bills at the end of my money.)
But, GOD promised me that He would never leave me. My grandfather taught me that the righteous are NEVER forsaken. GOD will put a ram in the bushes. MY DAUGHTER covered me. My beautiful brilliant daughter did not let me suffer a broke day. Praise the LORD!
Tell me ... why was I still certified four years after retirement? Tell me how was I able to get hired by the first school system I applied to? How did I end up teaching my dream subject, Advanced Placement United States history? It is prestigious, it is a college level course. Tell me, how did I end up with a Principal that does not micro manage? a supportive discipline team that doesn't coddle or pamper miscreants?
I am here to remind you, to testify, that GOD will do just what He said. Fortunately or unfortunately I didn't come from a supportive family. I have a mother that is extremely wicked and won't be saved. I will not be intimidated, frightened, terrorized, or silent any more.
I will recognize GOD's Gospel truth. I will no longer deny something I've known, felt, and refused to accept for far too long. She is one of the worse sadistic sociopaths that has ever lived on this planet earth. She does have a Jezebel spirit. She has always demanded to be in control. Not like some parents that demand to control in order to steer their children in the right direction. She wants to control in other to steer you into captivity, in order to steal your joy. She lives to see you suffer. She demands to see you suffer. She "coos" and cons, uses her best fake "mother" voice to make sure you do the absolute wrong thing. Then she laughs. Broadcasts your bad news to everyone she can. She delights in your downfall because she failed. You will suffer, you must suffer because she is suffering. You must be ashamed because she is ashamed. She lives to torture because she is a sadist. If her manipulative "viperous" cunning doesn't work fast enough to suit her she turns to her demonic witchcraft.
I will not have anything to do with her. I do pray for her. I no longer hate her. I am warning any and everyone that cares to listen. She is afflicted with an obsessive selfishness. She is all for self. She does think she is the grand dame and deserves a pass from GOD's WORD, His laws and precepts because she is "yalla" and she sounds good and fools many when she is "preaching". She is cruel and common, incestuous and perverted. She is a closet lesbian, a "bulldagger". I think they call them "studs" today. She has always wanted to be a man. She is very manly and masculine, down to her deep baritone voice.
I have been accused of being very masculine. Perhaps I am. She was my hero, my model for behavior. I also grew up with five brothers. My grandmother was dead. I see now I never had a great "feminine" influence. I do not hold my mother's sexual preference against her. After all she was savagely raped as a small child.
I hold her stealth "demonism" against her. I hold her cunning, jealousy and murderous character against her. I am repulsed and reviled. Any human being that could mistreat, lay hands on and mistreat my saintly grandfather and continue to lie about it, should not be counted as human. Any human being that attempts to defy GOD's WORD by putting on a robe and acquiring a license to preach just so she can laugh and continue to destroy should not be counted worthy of token respect.
I find her to be despicable! I am ashamed of her but I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus told us; "KNOW YE THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!' I have been set free.
I am no longer suffering and confused. Any man, any woman that will put their nasty carnal demonic hands on a little child needs our prayers. They need to be put away. They need to be found out, pointed out and put out of their misery. Martha has known of her sick demonic nature for over 86 years. To my knowledge she has never tried to get any help. She has enjoyed her reign of torture and debauchery. She has been laughing at all of us for her entire life. She demands to be honored, feared, kept a secret.
I'm proud to tell on her. I'm glad, eternally grateful that GOD opened my eyes, lifted the veil and exposed that sick serpent to me. Thank you Jesus!
I am not the only person on this earth attached to a sick succubus. I pray that GOD will strengthen your heart, give you courage. I pray that Almighty GOD will free you from your demons.
Have faith, trust GOD. If you live righteously, love the LORD, He will save you. He will keep a ram in the bushes, make a way out of no way. You don't have to fear and cower from any sick, foul, common demon. Any woman can call herself a mother. That doesn't make her a mother. Some women are neglectful and absent from their children's lives. They don't nurture or help their children in any way. They don't help, but they don't deliberately harm. But when you get a woman willing to do the unthinkable the unconscionable, to commit acts so vile, repugnant and putrid I will no longer repeat them. When that person is foolish enough to think her hooping and hollering in Simon Temple A.M.E.Zion church saves her. When no one cares enough to pray for her, to speak the truth to her. When a woman is so terrifying that her sons still fear her at 86 years old, somebody is standing in the need of prayer.
I will tell you what my grandfather always said, he was a brilliant orator, a word crafter. He spoke eloquently, precisely and concisely; "Come by here LORD, somebody needs you."
Go by 519 Rock Canyon Road LORD. Martha needs you. Martha is suffering. She has suffered her whole life. Her self-hatred made her hate others, hurt others. She is the worse thing that could have every happened to her brilliant beautiful children. Find her LORD, hold her hand. Tell her that she is forgiven. Tell her that you forgive her of her foolishness, her stubbornness. Tell her that you forgive her of her perversion and awful cruelty. Let her know that you forgive her of her long misspent life. Let her know that you are not fooled, that you have never been fooled. Tell her that you forgive her for MURDERING her own father. Tell her that you forgive her for deliberately destroying her entire family, for refusing to be honest, for refusing your Truth.
Dear LORD thank you for my great faith. Thank you for walking with me, taking with me, leading and guiding me every step of the way. Praise the LORD. Trust GOD. Put your hand in the hand of the hand of the man that stilled the waters.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Saturday, August 18, 2012
All I know is ...
GOD will show up and when He shows up "He will sho' sho' out!". "He WILL Sho' Out!" I tell you. Live for that day. Hold on to that promise. Live right, GOD will bless you.
I was fortunate enough to grow up in Fayetteville, North Carolina. A very southern sleepy military town. A stepping stone from Fort Bragg and twelve miles from the "country" gave me a very unique heritage.
My mother married a soldier and as such I was exposed to the best schools and facilities. My grandfather's tobacco farm was a treasure. I guess you can call me a "little bit country", highly educated, widely read, culturally diverse, extremely liberal and very analytical.
When I look back over my life I can see that I had everything going for me. A bright intuitive mind, nice looking, if I do say so myself. No life is perfect. I believe that every person is going to have some difficulty, some sadness, perhaps some tragedy.
If you are new to my blog you may not know that I survived the most demonic mother any person could ever possibly be plagued with. Truly a sick demented monster, there is little hope for her. The good news is, I DO NOT HATE HER! GOD took that burden from me. I prayed, asked Him, simple as that.
One thing I've learned on my sixty-one year journey. You can not control any one on this earth. You can talk and beg until you are blue in the face. If they don't want to hear you, they are not going to hear you. You must work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
The first thing that you must do is love the LORD! Stop, don't go any further if you can't love GOD. If all you can do is give GOD some lip service. If GOD is not for you, if you really don't get it. Don't waste your time. Remember GOD told you "Be ye hot or cold or I will spew you out of my mouth."
Please don't be a hypocrite. Don't run to church every Sunday, busting the doors down while living a rank carnal life. If you really want to live right, pray. Ask GOD for His strength, His wisdom.
When you see or witness the worse people prospering, don't worry about that. Don't concern yourself. When evil people mistreat you, put stumbling blocks in you way, pray for them. For real. My grandfather taught me that. He was so right. "Pray fa' yo' enemies dawthur."
Don't be fooled by my grandfather's patois. He was never formally educated, but he was a brilliant man. He was a wise philosopher. He never told me wrong. He never steered me wrong. His wise counsel has taken me a mighty long way.
My mother on the other hand deliberately tried to ruin my life. It didn't work. She only succeeded in ruining her own life. Now, my family looks like a train wreck. But, it is not over for my brothers. They can come to the marvelous light. They still have the opportunity to come to GOD's Gospel Truth.
I know how they feel about her. She is a woman that you can't love. She won't let you. You can only fear her and hope that she will break you off some change. "Some change" is all you are going to get. She is still stingy and tight "waddish". She gambles so she doesn't have much left for you.
I thank GOD for her. I surely do. If you are like me you can learn a lot from her misspent life. You can learn what not to do. Most of all you will never be content to be a phony "Christian".
Live right to just live right. Love the LORD with all your heart, mind and soul. Speak GOD's Truth boldly. I know that GOD will keep a "ram in the bushes" just for you.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember'"Apart for Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf yu, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
I was fortunate enough to grow up in Fayetteville, North Carolina. A very southern sleepy military town. A stepping stone from Fort Bragg and twelve miles from the "country" gave me a very unique heritage.
My mother married a soldier and as such I was exposed to the best schools and facilities. My grandfather's tobacco farm was a treasure. I guess you can call me a "little bit country", highly educated, widely read, culturally diverse, extremely liberal and very analytical.
When I look back over my life I can see that I had everything going for me. A bright intuitive mind, nice looking, if I do say so myself. No life is perfect. I believe that every person is going to have some difficulty, some sadness, perhaps some tragedy.
If you are new to my blog you may not know that I survived the most demonic mother any person could ever possibly be plagued with. Truly a sick demented monster, there is little hope for her. The good news is, I DO NOT HATE HER! GOD took that burden from me. I prayed, asked Him, simple as that.
One thing I've learned on my sixty-one year journey. You can not control any one on this earth. You can talk and beg until you are blue in the face. If they don't want to hear you, they are not going to hear you. You must work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
The first thing that you must do is love the LORD! Stop, don't go any further if you can't love GOD. If all you can do is give GOD some lip service. If GOD is not for you, if you really don't get it. Don't waste your time. Remember GOD told you "Be ye hot or cold or I will spew you out of my mouth."
Please don't be a hypocrite. Don't run to church every Sunday, busting the doors down while living a rank carnal life. If you really want to live right, pray. Ask GOD for His strength, His wisdom.
When you see or witness the worse people prospering, don't worry about that. Don't concern yourself. When evil people mistreat you, put stumbling blocks in you way, pray for them. For real. My grandfather taught me that. He was so right. "Pray fa' yo' enemies dawthur."
Don't be fooled by my grandfather's patois. He was never formally educated, but he was a brilliant man. He was a wise philosopher. He never told me wrong. He never steered me wrong. His wise counsel has taken me a mighty long way.
My mother on the other hand deliberately tried to ruin my life. It didn't work. She only succeeded in ruining her own life. Now, my family looks like a train wreck. But, it is not over for my brothers. They can come to the marvelous light. They still have the opportunity to come to GOD's Gospel Truth.
I know how they feel about her. She is a woman that you can't love. She won't let you. You can only fear her and hope that she will break you off some change. "Some change" is all you are going to get. She is still stingy and tight "waddish". She gambles so she doesn't have much left for you.
I thank GOD for her. I surely do. If you are like me you can learn a lot from her misspent life. You can learn what not to do. Most of all you will never be content to be a phony "Christian".
Live right to just live right. Love the LORD with all your heart, mind and soul. Speak GOD's Truth boldly. I know that GOD will keep a "ram in the bushes" just for you.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember'"Apart for Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf yu, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Friday, August 17, 2012
Don't be fool enough ...
to think you are going to fool GOD, ever! Jesus told you; "Know ye the Truth and the Truth will set you free!" Those words are no mystery to me. I fully understand them. I'm dancing, I'm prancing. I'm having a Holy Ghost party, right here, right now! All by myself! Hallelujah! Can you say Amen? Can you say Praise the LORD?
I personally have the best testimony, the most precious journey, the greatest anointed delivery a person could ever have. Over sixty-one years ago I was delivered to a lost and confused woman in Richmond, Virginia. Over the last sixty-one years this woman has wrecked nothing but pure havoc and closeted secret demonology over my life. GOD revealed her to me and He saved me.
No, I am not her only target. If you know her and associate with her you can be sure that you are a target as well. Something "got wrong with Martha Jane" a long time ago. She never could get right. Could never love or be "normal". She is a sadist. I do not agree with my family members that think they should sacrifice their lives and happiness to help her keep her "good name". First of all she has no good name. There are many people that shun her. She hates them. Lies on them, pretends that they are simply jealous of her extraordinary beauty and color. Nothing could be further from the truth. The people that shun her are wise. They are keen observers. They are not fooled by the smoke and mirrors. They are not easily bribed by the token gifts.
Now, my journey has been hard because she is my mother. Of course I never wanted to believe that she is as evil as she really is. But, I know it for myself. I am scarred and broken. Lacerated, brutalized, beaten down into mere dust. GOD has been with me through it all. He has never left me. He directed my footsteps and guided me all the way.
The world needs to know that such evil exists. That the evilest most demonic person in the world could be your pastor, your associate minister, your Sunday school teacher. Jesus told us. He warned us about these vipers infiltrating the "church". Jesus certainly told you NOT to fear them or to placate them. You don't have to hide them because they claim to be kin.
Come boldly to the throne of grace. I know GOD is not happy with wimpy "Christians" that tolerate evil in their midst. He is not happy with your weak faith and lack of confidence. "Know ye the Truth and the Truth will set you free."
At some point you are going to have to come clean Martha. You are going to have to get right with GOD. How dare you pretend to hate me for spilling the tea on you. Who didn't know? That; "What's done on duh ship stay on the ship." won't wash. I don't have a real problem with your human weaknesses. I do have a serious problem with your sadist cruelty.
"The cat is out of the bag." Martha. You may as well face up and clean up. I forgive you. I totally forgive you of every sick demonic thing you ever did to me. I forgive you for MURDERING my grandfather. You see, I would have never had the pleasure of knowing him and loving him without you.
Deep in your heart you knew that I would be the one to call you out one day. Perhaps that is why you hated me so much and mistreated me. "It is all in Divine Order!"
Praise the LORD! Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
I personally have the best testimony, the most precious journey, the greatest anointed delivery a person could ever have. Over sixty-one years ago I was delivered to a lost and confused woman in Richmond, Virginia. Over the last sixty-one years this woman has wrecked nothing but pure havoc and closeted secret demonology over my life. GOD revealed her to me and He saved me.
No, I am not her only target. If you know her and associate with her you can be sure that you are a target as well. Something "got wrong with Martha Jane" a long time ago. She never could get right. Could never love or be "normal". She is a sadist. I do not agree with my family members that think they should sacrifice their lives and happiness to help her keep her "good name". First of all she has no good name. There are many people that shun her. She hates them. Lies on them, pretends that they are simply jealous of her extraordinary beauty and color. Nothing could be further from the truth. The people that shun her are wise. They are keen observers. They are not fooled by the smoke and mirrors. They are not easily bribed by the token gifts.
Now, my journey has been hard because she is my mother. Of course I never wanted to believe that she is as evil as she really is. But, I know it for myself. I am scarred and broken. Lacerated, brutalized, beaten down into mere dust. GOD has been with me through it all. He has never left me. He directed my footsteps and guided me all the way.
The world needs to know that such evil exists. That the evilest most demonic person in the world could be your pastor, your associate minister, your Sunday school teacher. Jesus told us. He warned us about these vipers infiltrating the "church". Jesus certainly told you NOT to fear them or to placate them. You don't have to hide them because they claim to be kin.
Come boldly to the throne of grace. I know GOD is not happy with wimpy "Christians" that tolerate evil in their midst. He is not happy with your weak faith and lack of confidence. "Know ye the Truth and the Truth will set you free."
At some point you are going to have to come clean Martha. You are going to have to get right with GOD. How dare you pretend to hate me for spilling the tea on you. Who didn't know? That; "What's done on duh ship stay on the ship." won't wash. I don't have a real problem with your human weaknesses. I do have a serious problem with your sadist cruelty.
"The cat is out of the bag." Martha. You may as well face up and clean up. I forgive you. I totally forgive you of every sick demonic thing you ever did to me. I forgive you for MURDERING my grandfather. You see, I would have never had the pleasure of knowing him and loving him without you.
Deep in your heart you knew that I would be the one to call you out one day. Perhaps that is why you hated me so much and mistreated me. "It is all in Divine Order!"
Praise the LORD! Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Thursday, August 16, 2012
The Price of Admission
I can not begin to tell you how many concerts or performances I have had to miss over the course of my life because I didn't have enough money for a ticket. The fact is I have performed in plays that I could not buy a ticket to if I had to.
I would not call myself poor. Struggling yes. Like most people I came into the world struggling and more likely than not I will leave struggling. Perhaps a lot of it was my own fault. I chose to become a teacher rather than a lawyer or doctor. I chose to be honest rather than a cheat. I chose to get rid of that worthless, ill tempered, narcissistic, low life, cheating, half gay "husband". I would rather be happy and broke than front with someone I grew to despise.
Like that Langston Hughes poem; "Life for me ain't been no crystal stair." I am not complaining mind you. I've been blessed beyond compare. I'm still blessed. Still reaping where I have not sown. But, I know you can't get in anywhere if you don't have the price of admission. Not unless someone comps you some tickets.
Jesus comps us some tickets! Praise the LORD! If you want to get into heaven. If you want to see Glory. If you want to live life more abundantly you must have the price of the ticket. The price you pay is goodness. You must live righteously and honestly. You must be a truth teller.
You can't get in being a phony sneak dressed up in a robe spouting scripture to impress the gullible. Your ability to fool most people will not get you in. Harboring secret hatred and jealousy just makes you smell. GOD forbid that you "unrighteous walk" keeps anyone from GOD's Kingdom.
If your feet are swift to run to mischief. If you delight in leading GOD's children astray, into captivity because you consider your cunning to be a desirable asset you are going to burn in hell. As a matter of fact you are already burning in hell. That's why you are miserable. That's why you can't find any joy or satisfaction. All the clothes, shoes, and so called friends and minions will never make you happy. All your lies and mountains of deceit only succeed in making you feel worse. You know You! You know the real You. You know better than any one the heavy burden you carry and try to conceal. Name calling, lying, brutalizing and "root working" will not change any thing.
The best thing you can do is fall down on your knees right where you are. Fall out prostrate on that cross and beg GOD to forgive you of your long list of sins. Admit hat you have been nothing but an ignorant fool, a clown, an imp for the devil. Do it now. Do it while you still have time. What are you waiting on? Will you let the devil use you to prove to the world that he made you a total idiot? Just how dumb are you?
The price of admission is free! Salvation is free! You can't steal or lie your way in. There is only one way. Don't claim to be walking up GOD's Highway when you know you are not. Don't get fighting mad and rage with hate when you get caught up to your eyeballs in devilment. Love the LORD with all your heart and mind. If you can't do it, ask GOD why. Ask Him why you keep deceiving yourself. Ask Him why you can't love, can't say you are sorry. Ask Him why you keep doing wrong when you want to do right.
Fast and pray. Ask GOD to touch your heart with a finger of love. Pray for those that fooled you. Pray for those that told you being "yalla", big legged, "good hired" and deceitful was your ticket. Forgive yourself for dishonoring yourself. Come to the Truth. Come to GOD's marvelous light.
GOD bless you! Know that GOD loves you, forgives you. You ticket is waiting. All you have to do is pick it up.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
I would not call myself poor. Struggling yes. Like most people I came into the world struggling and more likely than not I will leave struggling. Perhaps a lot of it was my own fault. I chose to become a teacher rather than a lawyer or doctor. I chose to be honest rather than a cheat. I chose to get rid of that worthless, ill tempered, narcissistic, low life, cheating, half gay "husband". I would rather be happy and broke than front with someone I grew to despise.
Like that Langston Hughes poem; "Life for me ain't been no crystal stair." I am not complaining mind you. I've been blessed beyond compare. I'm still blessed. Still reaping where I have not sown. But, I know you can't get in anywhere if you don't have the price of admission. Not unless someone comps you some tickets.
Jesus comps us some tickets! Praise the LORD! If you want to get into heaven. If you want to see Glory. If you want to live life more abundantly you must have the price of the ticket. The price you pay is goodness. You must live righteously and honestly. You must be a truth teller.
You can't get in being a phony sneak dressed up in a robe spouting scripture to impress the gullible. Your ability to fool most people will not get you in. Harboring secret hatred and jealousy just makes you smell. GOD forbid that you "unrighteous walk" keeps anyone from GOD's Kingdom.
If your feet are swift to run to mischief. If you delight in leading GOD's children astray, into captivity because you consider your cunning to be a desirable asset you are going to burn in hell. As a matter of fact you are already burning in hell. That's why you are miserable. That's why you can't find any joy or satisfaction. All the clothes, shoes, and so called friends and minions will never make you happy. All your lies and mountains of deceit only succeed in making you feel worse. You know You! You know the real You. You know better than any one the heavy burden you carry and try to conceal. Name calling, lying, brutalizing and "root working" will not change any thing.
The best thing you can do is fall down on your knees right where you are. Fall out prostrate on that cross and beg GOD to forgive you of your long list of sins. Admit hat you have been nothing but an ignorant fool, a clown, an imp for the devil. Do it now. Do it while you still have time. What are you waiting on? Will you let the devil use you to prove to the world that he made you a total idiot? Just how dumb are you?
The price of admission is free! Salvation is free! You can't steal or lie your way in. There is only one way. Don't claim to be walking up GOD's Highway when you know you are not. Don't get fighting mad and rage with hate when you get caught up to your eyeballs in devilment. Love the LORD with all your heart and mind. If you can't do it, ask GOD why. Ask Him why you keep deceiving yourself. Ask Him why you can't love, can't say you are sorry. Ask Him why you keep doing wrong when you want to do right.
Fast and pray. Ask GOD to touch your heart with a finger of love. Pray for those that fooled you. Pray for those that told you being "yalla", big legged, "good hired" and deceitful was your ticket. Forgive yourself for dishonoring yourself. Come to the Truth. Come to GOD's marvelous light.
GOD bless you! Know that GOD loves you, forgives you. You ticket is waiting. All you have to do is pick it up.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Somebody PRAYED for you.
Somebody prayed for you when it was easier to doubt you. It was much easier to hate you. But, they saw fit to pray for you. Some how they found it in their heart to love you, to lift you up.
Remember that the next time you find yourself swelling up with pride. The next time you are honored and glorified by your fellow man for all you've done. Remember the nature of man, how everyone loves a winner. How everyone loves to be in your company.
Then remember that you are just one mistake away from tragedy. One wrong move from being nobody. Look at Evander Holyfield. The media could not wait to tell you how hard he is having it. He lost his multi-million dollar estate. It only fetched $7.5 million dollars. Now he is going to have to sell his championship belt. He is in the process of divorcing his third wife. He has eleven children and can't pay his child support payments. The world is laughing, tightening the screws, twisting the knife in his back.
Don't feel so good. Don't believe all of those people love you. The person that prays for you loves you. The person that earnestly and fervently prays for you is truly the one who loves you. They love you unconditionally, flaws, warts and all.
Thank GOD for them. You pray. Dare to pray for someone else. Dare to love someone just because GOD loves you. Love someone without pretence or reason. Love someone because you know it is the right thing to do. Love because you know it is a part of GOD's plan.
Love without expecting anything back. One of the greatest moments I shared with my grandfather was concerning changing him, cleaning him up. He was quite elderly and infirm. He had an accident. He didn't want my mother to know because she would have ridiculed him. It was no problem for me. I prepared a warm bubble bath for him. Cleaned him up, powdered him like a baby and put fresh neatly ironed pajamas on him. I noticed that he was crying. I said;"You don't have to cry granddaddy, I don't mind." He said; ;"No dawthur, you don't understand, I use'ta change yo' diapers and here you are...changing mine." We both laughed.
The good that you do will come back to you. Keep your hand in the hand of the man that stilled the waters. Pray for someone today. Lift somebody up!
Remember that the next time you find yourself swelling up with pride. The next time you are honored and glorified by your fellow man for all you've done. Remember the nature of man, how everyone loves a winner. How everyone loves to be in your company.
Then remember that you are just one mistake away from tragedy. One wrong move from being nobody. Look at Evander Holyfield. The media could not wait to tell you how hard he is having it. He lost his multi-million dollar estate. It only fetched $7.5 million dollars. Now he is going to have to sell his championship belt. He is in the process of divorcing his third wife. He has eleven children and can't pay his child support payments. The world is laughing, tightening the screws, twisting the knife in his back.
Don't feel so good. Don't believe all of those people love you. The person that prays for you loves you. The person that earnestly and fervently prays for you is truly the one who loves you. They love you unconditionally, flaws, warts and all.
Thank GOD for them. You pray. Dare to pray for someone else. Dare to love someone just because GOD loves you. Love someone without pretence or reason. Love someone because you know it is the right thing to do. Love because you know it is a part of GOD's plan.
Love without expecting anything back. One of the greatest moments I shared with my grandfather was concerning changing him, cleaning him up. He was quite elderly and infirm. He had an accident. He didn't want my mother to know because she would have ridiculed him. It was no problem for me. I prepared a warm bubble bath for him. Cleaned him up, powdered him like a baby and put fresh neatly ironed pajamas on him. I noticed that he was crying. I said;"You don't have to cry granddaddy, I don't mind." He said; ;"No dawthur, you don't understand, I use'ta change yo' diapers and here you are...changing mine." We both laughed.
The good that you do will come back to you. Keep your hand in the hand of the man that stilled the waters. Pray for someone today. Lift somebody up!
"Victory is mine ...
Victory is mine ...Victory today is mine ..." I'm still singing. It still sounds ugly to the world, in total "disharmony", an ugly screech. But, it sounds good to me.
And victory is mine! Got up this morning admiring my beautiful delicious raspberries. I never knew that one day I would be growing and harvesting my own raspberries, blackberries, Scuppernong and Muscadine grapes.
I had no idea that one day I would enjoy such a beautiful garden. I was just a little girl shadowing my grandfather. Every where he went, I went. Everything he did, I did. That's what children do. Children emulate their elders.
My grandfather carried some powerful love and compassion for his fellow man in his heart. That's what I want. Granddaddy was a very wise man. No, he never formally earned a degree. The truth is he never finished elementary school. There were no schools for "colored" people in the rural south where he grew up. He was educated in the tobacco fields of North and South Carolina.
He was self educated though. He was a ravenous reader to the day he died. He read the entire newspaper from cover to cover. He read my textbooks. My grandfather never saw a book that he didn't like. He read his Bible every day.
I am also a ravenous reader. I was blessed to be surrounded by libraries my whole life. My mother did buy books. She was a member of "Book of the Month Club". I will give her that . She may have made something real out of her life if she could have managed to come to GOD's Truth. If she could have rid herself of doubt, insecurity and insane jealousy.
It didn't happen, so I'm just warning you. Always be honest with yourself. Never lie. When or if you feel pangs of jealousy swelling up inside of you, pray. Pray those feeling away. You are going to meet many people that are smarter than you, or more attractive. Don't hate them. Don't wish them bad luck. Don't send them bad vibes. Lift them up. We should all lift each other up in prayer.
You may think the person that you secretly hate or envy doesn't know. Believe me they know. I'm sure you've felt when someone was giving you the evil eye. Most try to mask their true feeling with kind words or phony praise. GOD gives us the power of discernment.
Love yourself. Love GOD! Love GOD with all your heart, mind and soul. Start there. Study your Bible! Know GOD's laws and obey them. To obey is better than sacrifice. Don't argue and disagree with GOD. You can't win. Don't run from the LORD! You can't win. Pray for divine guidance and protection. Pray for the indwelling of His Holy Spirit.
If you don't want it, you won't have it. Go ahead and do it your way. You are going to lose. "Victory is mine ...Victory is mine ...Victory today is mine!"
Still singing! Still smiling and radiating. Thank you Father, thank you for my granddaddy!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
And victory is mine! Got up this morning admiring my beautiful delicious raspberries. I never knew that one day I would be growing and harvesting my own raspberries, blackberries, Scuppernong and Muscadine grapes.
I had no idea that one day I would enjoy such a beautiful garden. I was just a little girl shadowing my grandfather. Every where he went, I went. Everything he did, I did. That's what children do. Children emulate their elders.
My grandfather carried some powerful love and compassion for his fellow man in his heart. That's what I want. Granddaddy was a very wise man. No, he never formally earned a degree. The truth is he never finished elementary school. There were no schools for "colored" people in the rural south where he grew up. He was educated in the tobacco fields of North and South Carolina.
He was self educated though. He was a ravenous reader to the day he died. He read the entire newspaper from cover to cover. He read my textbooks. My grandfather never saw a book that he didn't like. He read his Bible every day.
I am also a ravenous reader. I was blessed to be surrounded by libraries my whole life. My mother did buy books. She was a member of "Book of the Month Club". I will give her that . She may have made something real out of her life if she could have managed to come to GOD's Truth. If she could have rid herself of doubt, insecurity and insane jealousy.
It didn't happen, so I'm just warning you. Always be honest with yourself. Never lie. When or if you feel pangs of jealousy swelling up inside of you, pray. Pray those feeling away. You are going to meet many people that are smarter than you, or more attractive. Don't hate them. Don't wish them bad luck. Don't send them bad vibes. Lift them up. We should all lift each other up in prayer.
You may think the person that you secretly hate or envy doesn't know. Believe me they know. I'm sure you've felt when someone was giving you the evil eye. Most try to mask their true feeling with kind words or phony praise. GOD gives us the power of discernment.
Love yourself. Love GOD! Love GOD with all your heart, mind and soul. Start there. Study your Bible! Know GOD's laws and obey them. To obey is better than sacrifice. Don't argue and disagree with GOD. You can't win. Don't run from the LORD! You can't win. Pray for divine guidance and protection. Pray for the indwelling of His Holy Spirit.
If you don't want it, you won't have it. Go ahead and do it your way. You are going to lose. "Victory is mine ...Victory is mine ...Victory today is mine!"
Still singing! Still smiling and radiating. Thank you Father, thank you for my granddaddy!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Monday, August 13, 2012
"Jesus on the mainline...
call him up, tell Him what you want." Oh, how I wish I could sing. I assure you singing is not one of my gifts. Yet I can still hear that beautiful song ringing rhythmically in my ear. I'm singing it right now. It sounds beautiful in my head. My inner voice, the one I always sing with, is perfect. I have perfect pitch, a rich range. I'm so good I put Aretha Franklin to shame.
Of course that is the voice in my mind. When I do sing aloud, I can't stand it. I am tone deaf. I really can not carry a tune in a bucket. You can't have everything. GOD is not going to give you every gift. He may give you many gifts, but you will not get all of them. Don't feel bad, ripped off or alone. GOD knows what you need. Do know that GOD brought each and every person to this planet earth for a reason.
Find your reason, find your purpose. I am a critical thinker, an observer, a teacher. I have been teaching since I was four years old. True, I have experienced a lot of hardship. But I trust GOD. GOD knew what I needed.
"Into each life some rain must fall. If it never rained we would never grow." Brothers and sisters, I have had some rain. More than rain, I guess you could call them monsoons, torrential rains, hurricanes. But I am still here, standing tall, resilient. My grandfather always called me a "tough little piece of leather". He said I was a spitfire. He always admired the "fire" in me and encouraged it.
The truth is he always taught me to be tough. I was eight yeas old when he taught me how to shot his .22 rifle. He taught me gun safety first. But he told me ; "Don'cha eva' let no sorry n**** bring you down. Ni ...don't you pull no gun on nobody unless you plan to use it. Don't play wid guns ...and if you hafta shot .. ...shot to kill."
I never knew what motivated my grandfather to give me such a lesson at such a young age. Perhaps I reminded him of my mother. My mother was savagely raped at age eight. Perhaps my grandfather felt guilty. He certainly felt the need to equip me with the ability to protect myself.
That "rape" was never talked about. I never heard of it. I was actually very old when my mother shared parts of the story with me in 2008. Evidently that is something that has tortured her for her entire life. I don't agree that families should keep secrets. This event had to have happened around 1933. The country was deep into the "Great Depression."
My mother used to tell me how my grandfather willing helped so many people that stopped by his farm begging. Some came by begging for the strings still clinging to his tobacco sticks. Bundles of tobacco were tied to long wooden sticks, then hung high up in the rafters of a tobacco barn. A person had to really be in bad shape, absolutely destitute to beg for little pieces of twine to patch their clothes.
People really suffered during the depression. If white people suffered all over this great land you don't have to use your imagination to visualize how black people and other minorities faired. My mother often shared stories of how her mother made something called pea-sausage. She would smash up field peas and add sage, form them into little patties and fry them. She would serve them with grits for breakfast.
My grandfather was one of the lucky ones, he had skills. He was a carpenter hired by the FDR administration to help build Ft. Bragg. He told me that he made twenty-five cents a day! He said that was good money. He owned his own home, sixty-five acres of land. He grew his own food. He said he could buy coffee, sugar, and flour at the "stow" for a penny a pound. My grandfather was actually fortunate enough to be able to save money during the "Depression".
Was my grandfather feeling generous, blessed, when he let that "stray n****" share his home with his family? Did he always feel guilty for allowing his friendship with a poor black man down on his luck to come and live in his home? Should he have known this man could be so common? Were there any signals or signs that he missed? Was he stupid? Why didn't he know that he should have never let a grown man have access to his beautiful precocious little girl? Was he mad because he didn't kill "duh n****"? Should he have killed him?
I really can't say how my grandfather reacted. I don't know what was done or said. I know that it was a family secret. It was the pink elephant in the room. I know that is why my mother thinks it is the reason for her promiscuity. Perhaps it is. But, why did she want to ruin me? Why does she want to bring the whole world crashing down with her?
My grandfather was a humble man. He never bragged or gloated. He was truly able to enjoy his retirement. He collected social security and a veterans pension for serving in World War I. My grandfather had the foresight to volunteer to pay into social security. As good fortune would have it, the government paid him an allotment to NOT grow tobacco.
The granddaddy I knew never had a broke day. It was a good thing he didn't because he had to come to my rescue so many times. He paid for my high school ring, bought me books in college. I am not ashamed to say it. To his dying day he was always slipping me money. Paying my rent and car note in the summers when I was not teaching. I never had sense enough to save any money.
When I look back I can see that I was spoiled rotten. I remember my mother laughed when I lamented that granddaddy's casket should be a double-wide because I needed to climb in there with him. I love my granddaddy and I will never stop. He loved me so fiercely he taught me how to love.
My mother does not love me. As a matter of fact she hates me. It's alright. I forgive her. She never loved my grandfather. She hated him too. My poor mother is saddled with the burden of hatred and untruth. It was something cultivated in her long ago.
I have neatly put all the pieces of this awful puzzle together. A little girl that would manipulate her toddler baby brother into severely burning his hands. A little girl that would strike her baby brother in the head with and iron skillet. A little girl that would smash a puppy to death between two bricks is certainly a "bad seed".
I know Martha. I know her deeds, her sick fruit. The hot soapy enemas that I remember from age four. I will not retell her savage acts today. There is no need. I clearly understand. For what ever reason my mother is a pervert. She knows it but unfortunately she chose to hide her infirmities rather than seeking help. She chose to hate and destroy her accusers. She chose to suffer with envy and jealousy. She chose to be a woman of weak faith.
Martha is not unlike most people. I have found that most people claim to love GOD but secretly don't. Most people have little or weak faith. Look at Peter. He was a disciple of Christ. He knew the man personally. Walked with him and talked with him daily. He was out there walking on water, walking toward Jesus and he, Peter, took his eyes off Jesus. Peter let the cares of this world take his eyes off Jesus. Peter let what people thought and what people said cause him to doubt.
I forgive my mother for thinking like the world. I forgive her of her weak faith and double mindedness. I forgive her of her deep shame and perversion. I forgive her for letting her lust rule her. She is only human. I forgive her for not trusting GOD.
I am not going to be foolish because she is. GOD has given me many infallible proofs that He is real. I will continue to sing my song in my head. My song will always sound good to me in my head. I will continue to call up Jesus and tell Him what I want. I want my mother to be saved. I want my mother to give her life to Christ. I want her to stop lying and denying. I want her to come to GOD's marvelous light.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Of course that is the voice in my mind. When I do sing aloud, I can't stand it. I am tone deaf. I really can not carry a tune in a bucket. You can't have everything. GOD is not going to give you every gift. He may give you many gifts, but you will not get all of them. Don't feel bad, ripped off or alone. GOD knows what you need. Do know that GOD brought each and every person to this planet earth for a reason.
Find your reason, find your purpose. I am a critical thinker, an observer, a teacher. I have been teaching since I was four years old. True, I have experienced a lot of hardship. But I trust GOD. GOD knew what I needed.
"Into each life some rain must fall. If it never rained we would never grow." Brothers and sisters, I have had some rain. More than rain, I guess you could call them monsoons, torrential rains, hurricanes. But I am still here, standing tall, resilient. My grandfather always called me a "tough little piece of leather". He said I was a spitfire. He always admired the "fire" in me and encouraged it.
The truth is he always taught me to be tough. I was eight yeas old when he taught me how to shot his .22 rifle. He taught me gun safety first. But he told me ; "Don'cha eva' let no sorry n**** bring you down. Ni ...don't you pull no gun on nobody unless you plan to use it. Don't play wid guns ...and if you hafta shot .. ...shot to kill."
I never knew what motivated my grandfather to give me such a lesson at such a young age. Perhaps I reminded him of my mother. My mother was savagely raped at age eight. Perhaps my grandfather felt guilty. He certainly felt the need to equip me with the ability to protect myself.
That "rape" was never talked about. I never heard of it. I was actually very old when my mother shared parts of the story with me in 2008. Evidently that is something that has tortured her for her entire life. I don't agree that families should keep secrets. This event had to have happened around 1933. The country was deep into the "Great Depression."
My mother used to tell me how my grandfather willing helped so many people that stopped by his farm begging. Some came by begging for the strings still clinging to his tobacco sticks. Bundles of tobacco were tied to long wooden sticks, then hung high up in the rafters of a tobacco barn. A person had to really be in bad shape, absolutely destitute to beg for little pieces of twine to patch their clothes.
People really suffered during the depression. If white people suffered all over this great land you don't have to use your imagination to visualize how black people and other minorities faired. My mother often shared stories of how her mother made something called pea-sausage. She would smash up field peas and add sage, form them into little patties and fry them. She would serve them with grits for breakfast.
My grandfather was one of the lucky ones, he had skills. He was a carpenter hired by the FDR administration to help build Ft. Bragg. He told me that he made twenty-five cents a day! He said that was good money. He owned his own home, sixty-five acres of land. He grew his own food. He said he could buy coffee, sugar, and flour at the "stow" for a penny a pound. My grandfather was actually fortunate enough to be able to save money during the "Depression".
Was my grandfather feeling generous, blessed, when he let that "stray n****" share his home with his family? Did he always feel guilty for allowing his friendship with a poor black man down on his luck to come and live in his home? Should he have known this man could be so common? Were there any signals or signs that he missed? Was he stupid? Why didn't he know that he should have never let a grown man have access to his beautiful precocious little girl? Was he mad because he didn't kill "duh n****"? Should he have killed him?
I really can't say how my grandfather reacted. I don't know what was done or said. I know that it was a family secret. It was the pink elephant in the room. I know that is why my mother thinks it is the reason for her promiscuity. Perhaps it is. But, why did she want to ruin me? Why does she want to bring the whole world crashing down with her?
My grandfather was a humble man. He never bragged or gloated. He was truly able to enjoy his retirement. He collected social security and a veterans pension for serving in World War I. My grandfather had the foresight to volunteer to pay into social security. As good fortune would have it, the government paid him an allotment to NOT grow tobacco.
The granddaddy I knew never had a broke day. It was a good thing he didn't because he had to come to my rescue so many times. He paid for my high school ring, bought me books in college. I am not ashamed to say it. To his dying day he was always slipping me money. Paying my rent and car note in the summers when I was not teaching. I never had sense enough to save any money.
When I look back I can see that I was spoiled rotten. I remember my mother laughed when I lamented that granddaddy's casket should be a double-wide because I needed to climb in there with him. I love my granddaddy and I will never stop. He loved me so fiercely he taught me how to love.
My mother does not love me. As a matter of fact she hates me. It's alright. I forgive her. She never loved my grandfather. She hated him too. My poor mother is saddled with the burden of hatred and untruth. It was something cultivated in her long ago.
I have neatly put all the pieces of this awful puzzle together. A little girl that would manipulate her toddler baby brother into severely burning his hands. A little girl that would strike her baby brother in the head with and iron skillet. A little girl that would smash a puppy to death between two bricks is certainly a "bad seed".
I know Martha. I know her deeds, her sick fruit. The hot soapy enemas that I remember from age four. I will not retell her savage acts today. There is no need. I clearly understand. For what ever reason my mother is a pervert. She knows it but unfortunately she chose to hide her infirmities rather than seeking help. She chose to hate and destroy her accusers. She chose to suffer with envy and jealousy. She chose to be a woman of weak faith.
Martha is not unlike most people. I have found that most people claim to love GOD but secretly don't. Most people have little or weak faith. Look at Peter. He was a disciple of Christ. He knew the man personally. Walked with him and talked with him daily. He was out there walking on water, walking toward Jesus and he, Peter, took his eyes off Jesus. Peter let the cares of this world take his eyes off Jesus. Peter let what people thought and what people said cause him to doubt.
I forgive my mother for thinking like the world. I forgive her of her weak faith and double mindedness. I forgive her of her deep shame and perversion. I forgive her for letting her lust rule her. She is only human. I forgive her for not trusting GOD.
I am not going to be foolish because she is. GOD has given me many infallible proofs that He is real. I will continue to sing my song in my head. My song will always sound good to me in my head. I will continue to call up Jesus and tell Him what I want. I want my mother to be saved. I want my mother to give her life to Christ. I want her to stop lying and denying. I want her to come to GOD's marvelous light.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Sunday, August 12, 2012
You can run, but you sho' can't hide!
What you runnin' fa'? Whur you gwine? The devil can't hide you...he don't want to either. He accomplished his purpose. He jest wanted to shame you, to bring you down, to sink you so low you wud nevah even think about gettin' up.
Did you really eva' think yo' wuz dat smart? Did you think a n**** gal lak you had any power? You jest a fool, baby. Like so many folks you let yersef' get used. You thought being hardheaded and disrespectful to your parents wuz the thang to do. You equated it wid being grown.
"I'M GROWN! I kin do lak I pleaze!" Being grown don't make you smarter or wise, dawthur. Dranking likker and fornicating don't mean nuttin'. What did you prove? You proved dat you cuddin' be controlled...wuddin' be controlled. You see whur it got'cha ...don'cha?
Lawd! you sho' in a mess chile. It ain't too late 'dough. Man is in a mess gal! Look around you! the whole wurld is messed up. So.. when you finally come to yo' senses...when you finally come to the Lawd you will be right on time.
Gawd will let you in! He sho' will. He loves you just the same. He duh same Gawd He always been. He knew you wud be hard headed and disrespectful. He knew you wud fall fa' duh foolishness of this world...dat's why He sent us Hiz Son. Praise the Lawd!
If you still ain't got sense enuf to give yo' life to duh Lawd...I don't know what to tell ya? He hung on dat cross...He hung 'dere ...fa' you and fa' me.
I made it in dawthur! I made it in! I always wanted you to be here wid me. I forgive ya' chile. You know I always loved ya'...always forgave ya. Go on and forgive yersef! Quit all that lying and keepin' up devilment.
You too old to still be a fool.. Don't worry 'bout who lookin' or who listenin'.
Listen to Gawd...listen to Hiz WORD.
I'll be lookin' fa' you dawthur... I'll be lookin' some whur 'round Gawd's throne.
Did you really eva' think yo' wuz dat smart? Did you think a n**** gal lak you had any power? You jest a fool, baby. Like so many folks you let yersef' get used. You thought being hardheaded and disrespectful to your parents wuz the thang to do. You equated it wid being grown.
"I'M GROWN! I kin do lak I pleaze!" Being grown don't make you smarter or wise, dawthur. Dranking likker and fornicating don't mean nuttin'. What did you prove? You proved dat you cuddin' be controlled...wuddin' be controlled. You see whur it got'cha ...don'cha?
Lawd! you sho' in a mess chile. It ain't too late 'dough. Man is in a mess gal! Look around you! the whole wurld is messed up. So.. when you finally come to yo' senses...when you finally come to the Lawd you will be right on time.
Gawd will let you in! He sho' will. He loves you just the same. He duh same Gawd He always been. He knew you wud be hard headed and disrespectful. He knew you wud fall fa' duh foolishness of this world...dat's why He sent us Hiz Son. Praise the Lawd!
If you still ain't got sense enuf to give yo' life to duh Lawd...I don't know what to tell ya? He hung on dat cross...He hung 'dere ...fa' you and fa' me.
I made it in dawthur! I made it in! I always wanted you to be here wid me. I forgive ya' chile. You know I always loved ya'...always forgave ya. Go on and forgive yersef! Quit all that lying and keepin' up devilment.
You too old to still be a fool.. Don't worry 'bout who lookin' or who listenin'.
Listen to Gawd...listen to Hiz WORD.
I'll be lookin' fa' you dawthur... I'll be lookin' some whur 'round Gawd's throne.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
"Who dat?"
"Who dat? say Who dat? when I say Who dat?" It started many years ago as an oft told joke of some old roguish boy caught in a hen house stealing chickens. Black folks used to be famous for stealing chickens. I heard that joke many times as a child. The last time I heard a version of it was in the form or a chant by the New Orleans Saints.
When I hear the expression "Who dat?" I immediately picture some unfortunate culprit caught some place he has no business. We can all easily get caught in places we have no business. Who among us has not been led astray? coaxed into captivity?
When you wake up one day and realize that you did wrong, be quick to forgive yourself, to repent. It is alright. You are human. You are subject to human frailties. "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man; but GOD is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Lets say you fell low. So low that you are deeply ashamed to admit that you did what you did. Don't waste your time and brilliance scheming up a way to get out of your trouble. You can't erase your deed with back lies and intimidation. Mocking, ridiculing, insulting, intimidating and abusing your accuser only makes that foul deed worse. You end up sucking all the joy out of your life. You become paranoid and distrustful. You have to tell a thousand lies to cover that original lie. Your paranoia becomes sick hatred. You can't trust anyone because you can't trust yourself.
You can trust GOD. You can trust His Grace and Mercy. Pray to embrace the Truth. Don't worry about people talking about you. People are going to talk about you. They talked about Jesus. People are going to hate you. They hated Jesus.
Put your hand in the hand of the man that calmed the waters. That healed the sick, raised the dead, gave sight to the blind. Pray for GOD to restore your sight today. You have been blind for a very long time. Yes you are ignorant. You are ignorant enough to believe your own lies.
Stop wasting your time trying to pound your lies into the truth. Keep clinging to your lying spineless minions. You know they are spineless because you made them that way. You emasculated your sons from the cradle. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You had no business having children. You knew better. You knew the boundaries you deliberately violated.
I can see you now, standing there, plaiting those huge long switches, bellowing; "Come git 'cho beatin'!" I thought you were crazy. "Dis ***** must be out of hur ******* mind!" (I would say to myself) as I took off running, heading for the hills.
Time has marched around Martha. Your life has come full circle. Now it is time for you to come get your beating. Come get your justice! Come and get your "just and honest due!" You did it to others. What did you think? Did you think a "lucky hand" was really going to get you off? Do you think GOD is impressed or intimidated by your graveyard dust?
Every body is not stupid. Don't be surprised to find out that your five sons have more manhood than you think they have. You dismissed me as a cowardly worm for fifty-eight years. Look what GOD did for me!
GOD finally opened my eyes, then He opened my mouth. Now I can't shut up. I am not going to shut up. Maybe you can't be saved. Maybe you are too far gone. But somebody will be saved by my Holy Ghost message. I know one person that sure got saved and filled with His Holy Spirit. Me. I'm on fire for Jesus. It is like fire shut up in my bones! I'm proud to tell it.
My granddaddy had it. You couldn't shut him up either. He's been gone since February 10, 1979, but he is still preaching, still testifying.
He lives Martha Jane. Jerome Walters lives in my heart. He planted his words of wisdom deep within my soul. I can't make a decision, write a word, without remembering that great humble man. Shame on you for taking his life. Quit lying. His wasn't the only life you took. His wasn't the only life you deliberately ruined.
What did it get you? Nothing. RUINATION! You were so hard headed, you thought you were so smart. Did you think that you were smarter that GOD? Do you think His book is a collection of fables and wives tales? Are you that proud? Surely to GOD you can't be as foolish as you pretend to be. I told you. GOD told you, "It is all in Divine Order." It is GOD's dispensation, He is righting every wrong.
Praise the LORD children! Thank Him for every blessing. "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." (Philippians 2:12)
When I hear the expression "Who dat?" I immediately picture some unfortunate culprit caught some place he has no business. We can all easily get caught in places we have no business. Who among us has not been led astray? coaxed into captivity?
When you wake up one day and realize that you did wrong, be quick to forgive yourself, to repent. It is alright. You are human. You are subject to human frailties. "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man; but GOD is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Lets say you fell low. So low that you are deeply ashamed to admit that you did what you did. Don't waste your time and brilliance scheming up a way to get out of your trouble. You can't erase your deed with back lies and intimidation. Mocking, ridiculing, insulting, intimidating and abusing your accuser only makes that foul deed worse. You end up sucking all the joy out of your life. You become paranoid and distrustful. You have to tell a thousand lies to cover that original lie. Your paranoia becomes sick hatred. You can't trust anyone because you can't trust yourself.
You can trust GOD. You can trust His Grace and Mercy. Pray to embrace the Truth. Don't worry about people talking about you. People are going to talk about you. They talked about Jesus. People are going to hate you. They hated Jesus.
Put your hand in the hand of the man that calmed the waters. That healed the sick, raised the dead, gave sight to the blind. Pray for GOD to restore your sight today. You have been blind for a very long time. Yes you are ignorant. You are ignorant enough to believe your own lies.
Stop wasting your time trying to pound your lies into the truth. Keep clinging to your lying spineless minions. You know they are spineless because you made them that way. You emasculated your sons from the cradle. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You had no business having children. You knew better. You knew the boundaries you deliberately violated.
I can see you now, standing there, plaiting those huge long switches, bellowing; "Come git 'cho beatin'!" I thought you were crazy. "Dis ***** must be out of hur ******* mind!" (I would say to myself) as I took off running, heading for the hills.
Time has marched around Martha. Your life has come full circle. Now it is time for you to come get your beating. Come get your justice! Come and get your "just and honest due!" You did it to others. What did you think? Did you think a "lucky hand" was really going to get you off? Do you think GOD is impressed or intimidated by your graveyard dust?
Every body is not stupid. Don't be surprised to find out that your five sons have more manhood than you think they have. You dismissed me as a cowardly worm for fifty-eight years. Look what GOD did for me!
GOD finally opened my eyes, then He opened my mouth. Now I can't shut up. I am not going to shut up. Maybe you can't be saved. Maybe you are too far gone. But somebody will be saved by my Holy Ghost message. I know one person that sure got saved and filled with His Holy Spirit. Me. I'm on fire for Jesus. It is like fire shut up in my bones! I'm proud to tell it.
My granddaddy had it. You couldn't shut him up either. He's been gone since February 10, 1979, but he is still preaching, still testifying.
He lives Martha Jane. Jerome Walters lives in my heart. He planted his words of wisdom deep within my soul. I can't make a decision, write a word, without remembering that great humble man. Shame on you for taking his life. Quit lying. His wasn't the only life you took. His wasn't the only life you deliberately ruined.
What did it get you? Nothing. RUINATION! You were so hard headed, you thought you were so smart. Did you think that you were smarter that GOD? Do you think His book is a collection of fables and wives tales? Are you that proud? Surely to GOD you can't be as foolish as you pretend to be. I told you. GOD told you, "It is all in Divine Order." It is GOD's dispensation, He is righting every wrong.
Praise the LORD children! Thank Him for every blessing. "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." (Philippians 2:12)
"Some where I read."
That; "Some where I read." expression was made popular by Dr. King. Dr. King did not create it, he simply popularized it in his brilliant oratory. Many black preachers of old punctuated their dynamic sermons with that phrase.
When the minister got to "Some where I read." the church knew instinctively that preacher was about to get down to some gut wrenching moaning and groaning. Some fire and brimstone was about to fall. Fire and brimstone to be followed by manna from heaven. This would be the hour everyone had waited for, had gathered for.
That old minister would take out a huge white handkerchief and cuff it in this hand. Then he would work that handkerchief like magic, wiping spittle from his mouth and mopping sweat from his brow. That old black preacher was not content to stand in one place. The spirit often made him run from one side of the pulpit to the other. Sometimes the spirit would take over and cause him to jump and shout and threaten to jump over the chancellor rail.
"Some where I read." was a warm up call. Holy sanctified filled with the Holy Ghost churches ate it up. That one phrase put the "shouters" on notice to get ready. This was the warm up, there was about to be a Holy Ghost party.
First came the "Amens", then the "Preach it brother!", followed by a lot of foot stomping and "Praise duh Lawd!". Every one knew to say "Amen" when the preacher called; "Can you say Amen? Can you say Praise duh Lawd? Can you say thanky Jee-zuz?"
It would not be long before that old preacher was "hacking". Hacking was punctuating every sentence with a "hack". "Dey nailed my Jee-zuz to an old rug-ged cross!" (hack) "Yes dey did!" (hack) "Dey hung Him hi and streeee-tched Him wiiiiii-ddd-eee!" (hack)
This was the style of preaching I grew up listening to. I found it invigorating and certainly entertaining. My own grandfather said that a preacher that couldn't "hack" couldn't preach.
I pursued a masters degree in African American Studies. I learned this style of preaching is steeped in African tradition. All black people of the African diaspora are very musical, melodious people. We love melody, music. Not just from musical instruments, but in our language, our speech. We are very colorful. We will paint you a picture verbally. "N**** I will slap duh taste out'cha mouth!" "Who dat stray slew footed n***** coming up here?"
Most black people will not just talk to you using their voice only. It is in our melodious tone, body language, head, hands, eyes. Black women are famous for rolling their heads and necks. It's cultural. It's cool. We are not culturally deprived as some say. Black people are simply culturally different.
Back to "Some where I read". "Some where I read; you're going to reap what you sow!" What you did in the dark is going to come to light. "Some where I read; it would be better that a millstone were placed around your neck and you were cast into the sea, for harming the least of GOD's little children!"
"Some where I read."; that I should not get weary in well doing. That I should not give up the right for the wrong. "For GOD has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
Though I was terrified and horribly abused from birth. I was brainwashed, misused and abused for my entire life! I was demonically, physically, sexually and emotionally abused by my own MOTHER! (a jack leg "root worker" soothsayer ) I will fear no evil! She is an idiot, the devil's imp. She serves a purpose. Never be that dumb. Put your trust in GOD, not in "voodoo" and "graveyard dust". Never allow yourself to become so primitive, void of understanding, utterly vacuous.
You will end up old and haggard looking just like the fool you are. Your sins will follow you to the grave. You will commit sins so depraved very few will have the courage to recount them. You will become a hated thing demanding to be loved.
"Some where I read."; you can be loved Martha. "Come to Jesus. Come to Jesus right now." You are forgiven. Forgive yourself for being stupid, for being rebellious. Forgive yourself for not trusting in GOD, something that you know you were taught to do from birth. Don't let your foolish pride and lies keep you from from GOD's Grace.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
When the minister got to "Some where I read." the church knew instinctively that preacher was about to get down to some gut wrenching moaning and groaning. Some fire and brimstone was about to fall. Fire and brimstone to be followed by manna from heaven. This would be the hour everyone had waited for, had gathered for.
That old minister would take out a huge white handkerchief and cuff it in this hand. Then he would work that handkerchief like magic, wiping spittle from his mouth and mopping sweat from his brow. That old black preacher was not content to stand in one place. The spirit often made him run from one side of the pulpit to the other. Sometimes the spirit would take over and cause him to jump and shout and threaten to jump over the chancellor rail.
"Some where I read." was a warm up call. Holy sanctified filled with the Holy Ghost churches ate it up. That one phrase put the "shouters" on notice to get ready. This was the warm up, there was about to be a Holy Ghost party.
First came the "Amens", then the "Preach it brother!", followed by a lot of foot stomping and "Praise duh Lawd!". Every one knew to say "Amen" when the preacher called; "Can you say Amen? Can you say Praise duh Lawd? Can you say thanky Jee-zuz?"
It would not be long before that old preacher was "hacking". Hacking was punctuating every sentence with a "hack". "Dey nailed my Jee-zuz to an old rug-ged cross!" (hack) "Yes dey did!" (hack) "Dey hung Him hi and streeee-tched Him wiiiiii-ddd-eee!" (hack)
This was the style of preaching I grew up listening to. I found it invigorating and certainly entertaining. My own grandfather said that a preacher that couldn't "hack" couldn't preach.
I pursued a masters degree in African American Studies. I learned this style of preaching is steeped in African tradition. All black people of the African diaspora are very musical, melodious people. We love melody, music. Not just from musical instruments, but in our language, our speech. We are very colorful. We will paint you a picture verbally. "N**** I will slap duh taste out'cha mouth!" "Who dat stray slew footed n***** coming up here?"
Most black people will not just talk to you using their voice only. It is in our melodious tone, body language, head, hands, eyes. Black women are famous for rolling their heads and necks. It's cultural. It's cool. We are not culturally deprived as some say. Black people are simply culturally different.
Back to "Some where I read". "Some where I read; you're going to reap what you sow!" What you did in the dark is going to come to light. "Some where I read; it would be better that a millstone were placed around your neck and you were cast into the sea, for harming the least of GOD's little children!"
"Some where I read."; that I should not get weary in well doing. That I should not give up the right for the wrong. "For GOD has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
Though I was terrified and horribly abused from birth. I was brainwashed, misused and abused for my entire life! I was demonically, physically, sexually and emotionally abused by my own MOTHER! (a jack leg "root worker" soothsayer ) I will fear no evil! She is an idiot, the devil's imp. She serves a purpose. Never be that dumb. Put your trust in GOD, not in "voodoo" and "graveyard dust". Never allow yourself to become so primitive, void of understanding, utterly vacuous.
You will end up old and haggard looking just like the fool you are. Your sins will follow you to the grave. You will commit sins so depraved very few will have the courage to recount them. You will become a hated thing demanding to be loved.
"Some where I read."; you can be loved Martha. "Come to Jesus. Come to Jesus right now." You are forgiven. Forgive yourself for being stupid, for being rebellious. Forgive yourself for not trusting in GOD, something that you know you were taught to do from birth. Don't let your foolish pride and lies keep you from from GOD's Grace.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Thursday, August 9, 2012
"Many are called, but few ...
a chosen." In other words, a lot of people are are talking about heaven, but very few are going there. There won't be any liars there. So, if you are a liar, shut up! "GOD's got the key and you can't get in!"
If your evil demonic mother who pretends to be psychotic, murdered your grandfather and you are still too terrified, brains fried, and too weak to tell, you are not getting in.
There are some things you can't ignore. MURDER IS MURDER! It was NOT a mercy killing. It was a brutal savage MURDER,designed by a sick "psychotic" sadistic narcissistic root working soothsaying demon! You can't get by by declaring you are not engaging in any CSI. You can't wash your hands, sanitize your memory and pretend that you don't know any better.
She has no power! Sure she got over on us when we were children with her savage cruelty and wicked vulgar tongue. She still managed to control us when we were still young adults. At some point we all started to see through her, moved away, distanced ourselves. So she changed her tactics and became an "ordained minister". She never stopped fornicating, root working and manipulating. She never stopped lying and leading into captivity. We all know she never changed. We've just lived in the hope of one day being a "normal" family. We were just always frightened little pups, running scared with our tails tucked between our legs.
How dreadful, a "preacher" still threatening to shot and kill people. I am not afraid of her M-16! I am rooted and grounded in the Holy Ghost. GOD encamps His host of Angels all around me. The nerve, if she has GOD, why does she need so many guns?
You have an obligation. You can help put her a way! You are old, way past elderly. Why are you pretending to be afraid of her? ( Or are you really?) Declaring that you are honoring her as your mother. You didn't honor her for twenty-five years. You remember clearly all the demonic, sick, perverted things she did to you. You can't forget them. You say you have forgiven her. How can you forgive someone that taunts you, picks at you and laughs at you?
Sure you can forgive her, but you know you have to watch your back. You can not honestly say you trust her.
Trust GOD! Trust Him to fight your battles. Dare to love and honor your true "loved ones". Love the people that stood by you through thick and thin. Don't honor a woman that made you suffer for being born. Beat you savagely and abused you for looking like your father.
"Shun the very presence of evil!" Embrace GOD's Almighty Truth. I love you dear brother and pray daily for your courage. Never give up! Your grandfather was Jerome Walters! His royal blood is running warm through your veins.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
If your evil demonic mother who pretends to be psychotic, murdered your grandfather and you are still too terrified, brains fried, and too weak to tell, you are not getting in.
There are some things you can't ignore. MURDER IS MURDER! It was NOT a mercy killing. It was a brutal savage MURDER,designed by a sick "psychotic" sadistic narcissistic root working soothsaying demon! You can't get by by declaring you are not engaging in any CSI. You can't wash your hands, sanitize your memory and pretend that you don't know any better.
She has no power! Sure she got over on us when we were children with her savage cruelty and wicked vulgar tongue. She still managed to control us when we were still young adults. At some point we all started to see through her, moved away, distanced ourselves. So she changed her tactics and became an "ordained minister". She never stopped fornicating, root working and manipulating. She never stopped lying and leading into captivity. We all know she never changed. We've just lived in the hope of one day being a "normal" family. We were just always frightened little pups, running scared with our tails tucked between our legs.
How dreadful, a "preacher" still threatening to shot and kill people. I am not afraid of her M-16! I am rooted and grounded in the Holy Ghost. GOD encamps His host of Angels all around me. The nerve, if she has GOD, why does she need so many guns?
You have an obligation. You can help put her a way! You are old, way past elderly. Why are you pretending to be afraid of her? ( Or are you really?) Declaring that you are honoring her as your mother. You didn't honor her for twenty-five years. You remember clearly all the demonic, sick, perverted things she did to you. You can't forget them. You say you have forgiven her. How can you forgive someone that taunts you, picks at you and laughs at you?
Sure you can forgive her, but you know you have to watch your back. You can not honestly say you trust her.
Trust GOD! Trust Him to fight your battles. Dare to love and honor your true "loved ones". Love the people that stood by you through thick and thin. Don't honor a woman that made you suffer for being born. Beat you savagely and abused you for looking like your father.
"Shun the very presence of evil!" Embrace GOD's Almighty Truth. I love you dear brother and pray daily for your courage. Never give up! Your grandfather was Jerome Walters! His royal blood is running warm through your veins.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
I just wanted to be a writer ...
I was eight years old and I told my mother I wanted to be a writer. I didn't want to be famous or anything. I knew I liked to write. I spent so much time in my room alone, coloring, drawing and writing stories. My teachers encouraged to to write all the time. They let me stand in front of the class and read my stories. Everyone would clap. So I decided that I would become a writer.
My mother told me that I was a "black n*****!" and I could never be a writer. I learned years before to pay her no attention because granddaddy told me she "wuz ignut".
"You BLAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!! ...duh wurld won't nevah recognize you as nuttin'!"
So my ballet teacher swells with pride telling her what a great "Prima Donna" I was. I was eight and the only black student in her class. My mother became very angry and said ;"You ain't takin' NO MO' BALLET!" So that was the end of that.
I went from Brownie to Girl Scout. This time there was another black girl in my troop. My scout leader marveled at the record time in which I had won all my badges, memorized the entire three inch thick Girl Scout handbook just for fun. So this time Martha plays stark raving crazy. She dresses me up like a clown in a full grown woman's uniform. Rolls the huge skirt around my waist about four times and puts a huge safety pin in it to hold it up. Puts a huge blouse on me that stops at my ankles. Puts these "broke down" brown combat boot looking shoes on me with raggedy holey socks, fixes my hair like buckwheat and smeared lipstick around my mouth and forced me to go to my Girl Scout meeting. I'm eight and I know this***** is crazy as a loon. What can I do, I'm eight yeas old?
So I quit Girl Scouts. I was humiliated. I never went to another meeting. Martha continues to play whore, screwing loudly this black ape of a husband with the door open. He continues to molest me and she continues to play dumb.
That same year I found out that I was as blind as a bat. Couldn't see ****! I was so dumb I thought the world was blurry. I thought every one just saw smeary colors. Mrs. McDonald ordered my mother to get me glasses and she did. I will never forget telling her; "Oh mother! The world is so beautiful!" She cried. The ***** boo-hooed and cried. I thought that meant that she really loved me after all.
Some times Martha would be nice to me. Most of the time she was just a perverted sneak. The poor lady was always unhappy. She never had enough money. She hated any and every one unlucky enough to be born darker than her. "Why I have all dese black ass younguns!!!!?" She would scream at GOD.
Time after time there was Martha, stealing something, destroying something. Beating and cursing us viciously. Beating babies, calling us vile vulgar names and hauling us to church. Vacillating between loving and hating her father and loving and hating us.
I finally got grown,but I was never free. I stayed away for nine years. She became a preacher. I thought every thing was cool. We could finally be a real family. Little did I know. She became a preacher just so she could pull off her most demonic schemes and dreams.
She is a foul nasty thing. Too repugnant to tell on. My friend that declares that no woman would ever do such things; "Shut up! and quit spreading ignorance."
About a month ago I started taking medication for my depression. I take it every day. I'm glad I finally found this drug. GOD is healing me. Yea, I'm telling. "I can't keep it to myself."
You've done a lot of terrible things to me and my brothers over the last seventy years. You destroyed all of my manuscripts and masters thesis, "rooted" me out of house and home over and over. Hated me for existing and "out doing " you. I earned a college degree with honors while maintaining my "virginity".
You are a jealous hater. You can't love anyone. I survived you. I've gone from survivor to thrivor! It was nothing I did. Everything I've done and everything I have achieved has been by the Grace of Almighty GOD.
For some strange reason I never wanted to kill you. Just wanted to love you, just wanted you to love me. You can't love anyone and looks like you can't die. Could it be that GOD is waiting on you to repent? You might make it to a hundred and ten, huh?
I would not be you for all the money and power in the world. I refuse to be one of your spineless minions and I reuse to shut up. It gives me great comfort to tell on you. You are going to have to come better than screaming ;"Liar! Liar!" You are going to have to come clean. The A.M.E.Zion Church is going to have to come clean about harboring such a "preacher" as you.
You're going to do something to one of my brothers real soon. You can't go too long without backstabbing. They are going to wake up, one by one. They know you. None of them, not one of them can call me a liar.
You notice how no one has jumped to your defense. To think, all theses years we just thought you were nasty and psychotic. Now, we have to add "root working back stabbing soothsayer" to your legacy. And never forget MURDERER! You slipped so low you MURDERED your own daddy!
Get up out of that hole! Come to Jesus! Tell him that you were an ignorant whore that lost her mind! He'll forgive you. You are already forgiven. Repent of your sins. (They are no longer secret. I made sure of that.)
My mother told me that I was a "black n*****!" and I could never be a writer. I learned years before to pay her no attention because granddaddy told me she "wuz ignut".
"You BLAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!! ...duh wurld won't nevah recognize you as nuttin'!"
So my ballet teacher swells with pride telling her what a great "Prima Donna" I was. I was eight and the only black student in her class. My mother became very angry and said ;"You ain't takin' NO MO' BALLET!" So that was the end of that.
I went from Brownie to Girl Scout. This time there was another black girl in my troop. My scout leader marveled at the record time in which I had won all my badges, memorized the entire three inch thick Girl Scout handbook just for fun. So this time Martha plays stark raving crazy. She dresses me up like a clown in a full grown woman's uniform. Rolls the huge skirt around my waist about four times and puts a huge safety pin in it to hold it up. Puts a huge blouse on me that stops at my ankles. Puts these "broke down" brown combat boot looking shoes on me with raggedy holey socks, fixes my hair like buckwheat and smeared lipstick around my mouth and forced me to go to my Girl Scout meeting. I'm eight and I know this***** is crazy as a loon. What can I do, I'm eight yeas old?
So I quit Girl Scouts. I was humiliated. I never went to another meeting. Martha continues to play whore, screwing loudly this black ape of a husband with the door open. He continues to molest me and she continues to play dumb.
That same year I found out that I was as blind as a bat. Couldn't see ****! I was so dumb I thought the world was blurry. I thought every one just saw smeary colors. Mrs. McDonald ordered my mother to get me glasses and she did. I will never forget telling her; "Oh mother! The world is so beautiful!" She cried. The ***** boo-hooed and cried. I thought that meant that she really loved me after all.
Some times Martha would be nice to me. Most of the time she was just a perverted sneak. The poor lady was always unhappy. She never had enough money. She hated any and every one unlucky enough to be born darker than her. "Why I have all dese black ass younguns!!!!?" She would scream at GOD.
Time after time there was Martha, stealing something, destroying something. Beating and cursing us viciously. Beating babies, calling us vile vulgar names and hauling us to church. Vacillating between loving and hating her father and loving and hating us.
I finally got grown,but I was never free. I stayed away for nine years. She became a preacher. I thought every thing was cool. We could finally be a real family. Little did I know. She became a preacher just so she could pull off her most demonic schemes and dreams.
She is a foul nasty thing. Too repugnant to tell on. My friend that declares that no woman would ever do such things; "Shut up! and quit spreading ignorance."
About a month ago I started taking medication for my depression. I take it every day. I'm glad I finally found this drug. GOD is healing me. Yea, I'm telling. "I can't keep it to myself."
You've done a lot of terrible things to me and my brothers over the last seventy years. You destroyed all of my manuscripts and masters thesis, "rooted" me out of house and home over and over. Hated me for existing and "out doing " you. I earned a college degree with honors while maintaining my "virginity".
You are a jealous hater. You can't love anyone. I survived you. I've gone from survivor to thrivor! It was nothing I did. Everything I've done and everything I have achieved has been by the Grace of Almighty GOD.
For some strange reason I never wanted to kill you. Just wanted to love you, just wanted you to love me. You can't love anyone and looks like you can't die. Could it be that GOD is waiting on you to repent? You might make it to a hundred and ten, huh?
I would not be you for all the money and power in the world. I refuse to be one of your spineless minions and I reuse to shut up. It gives me great comfort to tell on you. You are going to have to come better than screaming ;"Liar! Liar!" You are going to have to come clean. The A.M.E.Zion Church is going to have to come clean about harboring such a "preacher" as you.
You're going to do something to one of my brothers real soon. You can't go too long without backstabbing. They are going to wake up, one by one. They know you. None of them, not one of them can call me a liar.
You notice how no one has jumped to your defense. To think, all theses years we just thought you were nasty and psychotic. Now, we have to add "root working back stabbing soothsayer" to your legacy. And never forget MURDERER! You slipped so low you MURDERED your own daddy!
Get up out of that hole! Come to Jesus! Tell him that you were an ignorant whore that lost her mind! He'll forgive you. You are already forgiven. Repent of your sins. (They are no longer secret. I made sure of that.)
"You will get your just and ...
honest due on this planet earth." GOD told me that many years ago. I didn't know why then. I just repeated it, taught it to my students. I used to tell my mother that all the time. I didn't know why her lips would get tight and she would become absolutely silent.
To know Martha is to know silence is not part of her persona. She always accused me or running off at the mouth. But, she is the one. She talks incessantly. She talks in her sleep. She really does. So those rare moments when she would suddenly become sullen and silent stuck out in my mind.
Two of my proverbial mantras always disturbed her. The one about justice and the other, always quoting Jesus;"Fear no man!" would stop her dead in her tracks. I understand now "fear" is what she needs, depends on. The truth is it is kind of hard to fear and 86 year old frail woman. Especially one that pretends to be a Christian. She can't cuss as vulgarly as she used to. She can't lay hands on you and chase you down. No more belts, ropes, silk stockings and gags.
Her;"I'm just sending up timber." rings hollow. A mother that hates you for telling the truth instead of thanking you. A woman that re-tells disgusting lies on her father in order to look innocent. A fool that really thinks she successfully stole her father's mantel, his good name, is standing in the need of prayer.
I can only repeat what my grandfather always said; "Come by here LORD somebody needs you!" Somebody needs you LORD! I will not be forced to hate a demon. I will not cling to a cowardly beaten down abused family too terrified to know the truth.
Martha Jane Walters is an awful woman. She is sadistic and cruel. There is no lie too low for her to tell. She loves no one, including herself. Only the extremely gullible and fragile can believe in her. I am still troubled by the low common things she did to me and in my presence. I cannot be the only one. Deed after deed that she didn't mind me knowing. We just better not tell. If you are "ashamed" to have it told, if you don't want the world to know you did it, why did you do it?
You are a thief Martha! All your life you stole innocence, joy, virginity, dignity, careers, good names. You demand to be called "Reverend" while living a totally irreverent disgusting reprobate life. You never intend to change. You are hoping that your simple minded minions will fear you to the grave. They may. I won't.
I will not hate you. I will pray for you every day of my life. Granddaddy could never penetrate that thick head of yours. You were very bright and intelligent. Yet you lacked the self discipline to study, to earn a college degree. You opted for the easiest course, an associates degree in secretarial science at 37 years old! You weren't satisfied that's why you always lied about being a few hours from your PH.D.
I know you never loved me. But why did you feel the need to torture me? To torture all of us on the sly, on the sneak. I always wondered why you called me a sneaky snake behind my back. No, Martha, you are the sneaky snake. Psychiatrists call that projecting. You project your evil deeds on the innocent just so you can tolerate yourself.
You always taught my brothers and family members to hate me. With that you have been pretty successful. If they are dumb enough to believe you, I don't need their love. You were never able to manipulate my grandfather into believing your rot. Is that why you murdered him?
No, I will not hate you. When you look in the mirror you see a pathological liar, a sexual predator, a pedophile, a MURDERER, a fake phony "Christian". No I will not hate you. I will feel sorry for you and your kind. I will pray for your minions and your "church". I will pray for all of your friends and relatives that are too terrified to tell you GOD's Gospel Truth.
I pray that my brother's will come to GOD's marvelous light and embrace GOD's Gospel Truth. I do pray that you will give up your abominable ignorance and pride. Admit that you did evil and fell low. GOD still loves you. Pride goeth before a fall and you will get your just and honest due on this planet earth.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember' "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster, (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
To know Martha is to know silence is not part of her persona. She always accused me or running off at the mouth. But, she is the one. She talks incessantly. She talks in her sleep. She really does. So those rare moments when she would suddenly become sullen and silent stuck out in my mind.
Two of my proverbial mantras always disturbed her. The one about justice and the other, always quoting Jesus;"Fear no man!" would stop her dead in her tracks. I understand now "fear" is what she needs, depends on. The truth is it is kind of hard to fear and 86 year old frail woman. Especially one that pretends to be a Christian. She can't cuss as vulgarly as she used to. She can't lay hands on you and chase you down. No more belts, ropes, silk stockings and gags.
Her;"I'm just sending up timber." rings hollow. A mother that hates you for telling the truth instead of thanking you. A woman that re-tells disgusting lies on her father in order to look innocent. A fool that really thinks she successfully stole her father's mantel, his good name, is standing in the need of prayer.
I can only repeat what my grandfather always said; "Come by here LORD somebody needs you!" Somebody needs you LORD! I will not be forced to hate a demon. I will not cling to a cowardly beaten down abused family too terrified to know the truth.
Martha Jane Walters is an awful woman. She is sadistic and cruel. There is no lie too low for her to tell. She loves no one, including herself. Only the extremely gullible and fragile can believe in her. I am still troubled by the low common things she did to me and in my presence. I cannot be the only one. Deed after deed that she didn't mind me knowing. We just better not tell. If you are "ashamed" to have it told, if you don't want the world to know you did it, why did you do it?
You are a thief Martha! All your life you stole innocence, joy, virginity, dignity, careers, good names. You demand to be called "Reverend" while living a totally irreverent disgusting reprobate life. You never intend to change. You are hoping that your simple minded minions will fear you to the grave. They may. I won't.
I will not hate you. I will pray for you every day of my life. Granddaddy could never penetrate that thick head of yours. You were very bright and intelligent. Yet you lacked the self discipline to study, to earn a college degree. You opted for the easiest course, an associates degree in secretarial science at 37 years old! You weren't satisfied that's why you always lied about being a few hours from your PH.D.
I know you never loved me. But why did you feel the need to torture me? To torture all of us on the sly, on the sneak. I always wondered why you called me a sneaky snake behind my back. No, Martha, you are the sneaky snake. Psychiatrists call that projecting. You project your evil deeds on the innocent just so you can tolerate yourself.
You always taught my brothers and family members to hate me. With that you have been pretty successful. If they are dumb enough to believe you, I don't need their love. You were never able to manipulate my grandfather into believing your rot. Is that why you murdered him?
No, I will not hate you. When you look in the mirror you see a pathological liar, a sexual predator, a pedophile, a MURDERER, a fake phony "Christian". No I will not hate you. I will feel sorry for you and your kind. I will pray for your minions and your "church". I will pray for all of your friends and relatives that are too terrified to tell you GOD's Gospel Truth.
I pray that my brother's will come to GOD's marvelous light and embrace GOD's Gospel Truth. I do pray that you will give up your abominable ignorance and pride. Admit that you did evil and fell low. GOD still loves you. Pride goeth before a fall and you will get your just and honest due on this planet earth.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember' "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster, (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
"Knee bent and body bowed..."
"I'm coming befo' you Lawd, knee bent and body bowed, as an empty pitchur befo' a full fountain desiring to be filled with your goodness ..." I heard that prayer so often in Wesley Chapel A.M.E.Zion church I could not help but memorize it.
I always thought it was very eloquent and poetic. The saints of Wesley Chapel in Wade, North Carolina were certainly very dedicated and disciplined. The real saints attended every Sunday and worshipped all day long. First Sunday school, then "preachin'". We would often have dinner on the yard, then night service often simply called "Sangin'". Members from all of the nearby churches would send their best choirs and soloists. We would "sang", tear the roof off with just an old out of tune piano and some tambourines. We did a lot of foot stomping, hand clapping and shouting.
The best "shouters" would show their stuff with a dance across the floor very reminiscent of James Brown. I sat there is rapt attention, memorizing every step that I was sure to repeat just as soon as I got home. I was going to preach to those chickens. My brother and I would play church. Sometimes he let me be the preacher. Mostly I just "shouted". I would get the Holy Ghost and run all over the yard.
One dear saint still stands out in my mind, Sister Carrie. I can see her so clearly. Not only did she have a very distinctive style of dance, she had a radiance, a beautiful countenance. Sister Carrie was crow black. Her skin was silky smooth, not a wrinkle or blemish and I know she was very old because her hair was snow white. She was as black as any skillet, but radiant. I remember her because her husband Mr. Jerry was good friends with my grandfather.
We would visit them periodically. They were quite a couple, Mr. Jerry and Miss Carrie. I remember because that is how they referred to each other. "Mr. Jerry, you want sumpin'teet?" she would call and Mr. Jerry would respond; "Not right ni, thanky mam Miss Carey."
They were a sweet couple, always polite and caring towards each other. Sister Carrie was in the church every time the doors opened and Mr. Jerry refused to be caught dead in a church. Mr. Jerry refused to be a hypocrite. He still embidded in demon alcohol and I think Sunday mornings was his favorite time to get plastered. Mr. Jerry and Miss Carrie were mirror opposites. He was tall, very fair skinned with straight hair that had a little bend in the almost curl that hit the back of his neck. Miss Carrie, crow black, rather short in stature, with snow white hair that could pass for wool or soft cotton.
They loved each other, I could tell. She didn't worry him about drinking and he didn't bother her about all that church attending.
When the prayer started with "Knee bent" I instinctively knew this was going to be a long one complete with moans, sanctified grunts and groans. The designated "Pray-er" would start off by blessing every one in the world including the President. I knew his long prayer was finally coming to a dynamic close when he finally got to the part about thanking Gawd "fa' waking me up in my right mind."
"Waking up in your right mind" was considered a true blessing from GOD. As a child I had no idea what a precious blessing that was. I could not know how this world could toss and turn you. I didn't know how your enemies could plague you. No one told me that my own family would one day turn against me.
No matter what this world does to you. No matter what they say against you stand up for GOD. Rebuke the devil. GOD will bring you through it and He will wake you up in your right mind.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth, engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
I always thought it was very eloquent and poetic. The saints of Wesley Chapel in Wade, North Carolina were certainly very dedicated and disciplined. The real saints attended every Sunday and worshipped all day long. First Sunday school, then "preachin'". We would often have dinner on the yard, then night service often simply called "Sangin'". Members from all of the nearby churches would send their best choirs and soloists. We would "sang", tear the roof off with just an old out of tune piano and some tambourines. We did a lot of foot stomping, hand clapping and shouting.
The best "shouters" would show their stuff with a dance across the floor very reminiscent of James Brown. I sat there is rapt attention, memorizing every step that I was sure to repeat just as soon as I got home. I was going to preach to those chickens. My brother and I would play church. Sometimes he let me be the preacher. Mostly I just "shouted". I would get the Holy Ghost and run all over the yard.
One dear saint still stands out in my mind, Sister Carrie. I can see her so clearly. Not only did she have a very distinctive style of dance, she had a radiance, a beautiful countenance. Sister Carrie was crow black. Her skin was silky smooth, not a wrinkle or blemish and I know she was very old because her hair was snow white. She was as black as any skillet, but radiant. I remember her because her husband Mr. Jerry was good friends with my grandfather.
We would visit them periodically. They were quite a couple, Mr. Jerry and Miss Carrie. I remember because that is how they referred to each other. "Mr. Jerry, you want sumpin'teet?" she would call and Mr. Jerry would respond; "Not right ni, thanky mam Miss Carey."
They were a sweet couple, always polite and caring towards each other. Sister Carrie was in the church every time the doors opened and Mr. Jerry refused to be caught dead in a church. Mr. Jerry refused to be a hypocrite. He still embidded in demon alcohol and I think Sunday mornings was his favorite time to get plastered. Mr. Jerry and Miss Carrie were mirror opposites. He was tall, very fair skinned with straight hair that had a little bend in the almost curl that hit the back of his neck. Miss Carrie, crow black, rather short in stature, with snow white hair that could pass for wool or soft cotton.
They loved each other, I could tell. She didn't worry him about drinking and he didn't bother her about all that church attending.
When the prayer started with "Knee bent" I instinctively knew this was going to be a long one complete with moans, sanctified grunts and groans. The designated "Pray-er" would start off by blessing every one in the world including the President. I knew his long prayer was finally coming to a dynamic close when he finally got to the part about thanking Gawd "fa' waking me up in my right mind."
"Waking up in your right mind" was considered a true blessing from GOD. As a child I had no idea what a precious blessing that was. I could not know how this world could toss and turn you. I didn't know how your enemies could plague you. No one told me that my own family would one day turn against me.
No matter what this world does to you. No matter what they say against you stand up for GOD. Rebuke the devil. GOD will bring you through it and He will wake you up in your right mind.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth, engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Monday, August 6, 2012
GOD's Truth is so simple ..
mere babies can discern it. The Truth is if you have Christ in your heart you can hate no man. You can't do it. You can't hate and you can't lie. That is your litmus test. You can't envy and covet either. You certainly will not plot to destroy your loved ones.
My grandfather lived to be eighty-four years old and he left this earth with no hatred in his heart for any man or woman. He didn't even hate his daughter that took pleasure is secretly torturing and humiliating him daily. My granddaddy simply prayed for her without ceasing because he knew that she was afflicted with a demon that she refused to let go of.
My grandfather understood Matthew 15: 22 - 28. Read it. There was a woman who had a daughter that was afflicted with a demon spirit. "...my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil." Surely that's my mother, grievously vexed with a devil. For any woman to do the kinds of things she has done for so long. She menaces and plots against every one she knows for what she thinks is delicious pleasure , but she is the one that is truly tortured.
What could be worse than living a very long time pretending to love people you absolutely loathe? How low and common do you have to be to harm little children? Worse of all to blow a huge hole into the chest of a saved man, a good man, one of GOD's true Christians.
What kind of mind showers herself with gifts just to dole out a few trinkets to people she is too cowardly to tell that she hates them, blames them. What kind of mind refuses to accept the fact that it was her serious "whorishness", promiscuity that kept any good man from her?
What kind of person would insist that every one in the world go along with her fairy tale, put on "Christian" persona just so she will never have to repent? What kind of mind is it that insists on bludgeoning and brutalizing the children she robbed of all happiness?
Martha is suffering, she is vexed with a demon of monumental magnitude. She can play act, lie and deny. GOD knows. She can intimidate and bully. A person has to be terrorized with some serious fear to help her maintain, closet and protect her demons. She is not that smart. But she is that afflicted. She along with her many minions are totally blind.
There is so much beauty and compassion in the story with the daughter that is afflicted with a demon. That mother had some awesome true love. For her to beg Jesus to save her daughter is a beautiful testimony in itself. How many of us get fed up with our loved ones that are suffering with demons? We just want to get away from them, to save ourselves.
My grandfather had to know his daughter was plagued with demons. He knew that she brought them on herself. She was rebellious and hardheaded. He never gave up on her. He prayed for her daily, until his dying day. My grandfather told me; "Always love your mother baby, always help her."
My grandfather was a true humble Christian. Something I aspire to be. He would remind her that she was going to hell often. But, he never called her names or reviled her. He never threw her past in her face. He never shared her horrible deeds with us. What I learned about her she told me.
No matter what, I will always believe that my grandfather sacrificed his life, his happiness for us, for his grandchildren. That's why I can't let his name remain tarnished. I will not let Martha's lie live. She is common, savage and brutal. She knows better but so eaten up with hatred and envy she refuses to change.
I will not attend or affiliate with a "church" that continues to hide her, pretending that they don't know. I love my family. If I have to love them from afar that is what I will do. I will not call a monster "mother". I do forgive her but I will never forget.
There is hope. That woman came and worshipped Jesus and He said ;"It is not meet to take the children's bread and cast it to dogs." Was Jesus suggesting that her daughter vexed with the demon spirit was as low as a dog? I don't know. But the woman never gave up. She said ; "Truth, LORD: yet the dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their master's table."
Her great faith and insistence touched Jesus' heart. "O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt." And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.
We have to love the hell out of our enemies. You must know that a person, a mother, a daughter, willing to destroy her whole family just so she can pretend to be something she is not is suffering tragically, needlessly. A woman that that is willing to pretend to love you just to destroy you, lacketh understanding.
A mind so confused, she loves to hates and hates to love, is in need of your prayers, not your cowardly fear. She can't beat you any more physically. She can't bind, gag and lacerate you. She can't rape you and twist your mind into hating yourself. You don't have to keep her house of horrors secret because you are ashamed.
She is the one that should be ashamed. I believe deep inside she is. Eight-six years built around a mountain of lies and disguises is disgusting. I can't hate her. I can only pity my mother and pray for her. I pray for my brothers still held hostage by her nauseating shame.
I call on the name of Jesus. Dear LORD have pity on my poor mother. Release her from that demonic spirit that she invited into her heart. Release her from the bondage and ignorance she deliberately solicited Dear Father. She is ignorant, she is lost, trying to bumble and stumble her way into your Grace.
Open their eyes LORD bring them to the light. Bring me to the light LORD. Do not let me hate anyone. I beg your forgiveness LORD. In the Mighty name of Jesus the Christ I humbly pray.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
*Thank you Rev. Sammy Williamson for citing this scripture in your sermon yesterday.
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
My grandfather lived to be eighty-four years old and he left this earth with no hatred in his heart for any man or woman. He didn't even hate his daughter that took pleasure is secretly torturing and humiliating him daily. My granddaddy simply prayed for her without ceasing because he knew that she was afflicted with a demon that she refused to let go of.
My grandfather understood Matthew 15: 22 - 28. Read it. There was a woman who had a daughter that was afflicted with a demon spirit. "...my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil." Surely that's my mother, grievously vexed with a devil. For any woman to do the kinds of things she has done for so long. She menaces and plots against every one she knows for what she thinks is delicious pleasure , but she is the one that is truly tortured.
What could be worse than living a very long time pretending to love people you absolutely loathe? How low and common do you have to be to harm little children? Worse of all to blow a huge hole into the chest of a saved man, a good man, one of GOD's true Christians.
What kind of mind showers herself with gifts just to dole out a few trinkets to people she is too cowardly to tell that she hates them, blames them. What kind of mind refuses to accept the fact that it was her serious "whorishness", promiscuity that kept any good man from her?
What kind of person would insist that every one in the world go along with her fairy tale, put on "Christian" persona just so she will never have to repent? What kind of mind is it that insists on bludgeoning and brutalizing the children she robbed of all happiness?
Martha is suffering, she is vexed with a demon of monumental magnitude. She can play act, lie and deny. GOD knows. She can intimidate and bully. A person has to be terrorized with some serious fear to help her maintain, closet and protect her demons. She is not that smart. But she is that afflicted. She along with her many minions are totally blind.
There is so much beauty and compassion in the story with the daughter that is afflicted with a demon. That mother had some awesome true love. For her to beg Jesus to save her daughter is a beautiful testimony in itself. How many of us get fed up with our loved ones that are suffering with demons? We just want to get away from them, to save ourselves.
My grandfather had to know his daughter was plagued with demons. He knew that she brought them on herself. She was rebellious and hardheaded. He never gave up on her. He prayed for her daily, until his dying day. My grandfather told me; "Always love your mother baby, always help her."
My grandfather was a true humble Christian. Something I aspire to be. He would remind her that she was going to hell often. But, he never called her names or reviled her. He never threw her past in her face. He never shared her horrible deeds with us. What I learned about her she told me.
No matter what, I will always believe that my grandfather sacrificed his life, his happiness for us, for his grandchildren. That's why I can't let his name remain tarnished. I will not let Martha's lie live. She is common, savage and brutal. She knows better but so eaten up with hatred and envy she refuses to change.
I will not attend or affiliate with a "church" that continues to hide her, pretending that they don't know. I love my family. If I have to love them from afar that is what I will do. I will not call a monster "mother". I do forgive her but I will never forget.
There is hope. That woman came and worshipped Jesus and He said ;"It is not meet to take the children's bread and cast it to dogs." Was Jesus suggesting that her daughter vexed with the demon spirit was as low as a dog? I don't know. But the woman never gave up. She said ; "Truth, LORD: yet the dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their master's table."
Her great faith and insistence touched Jesus' heart. "O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt." And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.
We have to love the hell out of our enemies. You must know that a person, a mother, a daughter, willing to destroy her whole family just so she can pretend to be something she is not is suffering tragically, needlessly. A woman that that is willing to pretend to love you just to destroy you, lacketh understanding.
A mind so confused, she loves to hates and hates to love, is in need of your prayers, not your cowardly fear. She can't beat you any more physically. She can't bind, gag and lacerate you. She can't rape you and twist your mind into hating yourself. You don't have to keep her house of horrors secret because you are ashamed.
She is the one that should be ashamed. I believe deep inside she is. Eight-six years built around a mountain of lies and disguises is disgusting. I can't hate her. I can only pity my mother and pray for her. I pray for my brothers still held hostage by her nauseating shame.
I call on the name of Jesus. Dear LORD have pity on my poor mother. Release her from that demonic spirit that she invited into her heart. Release her from the bondage and ignorance she deliberately solicited Dear Father. She is ignorant, she is lost, trying to bumble and stumble her way into your Grace.
Open their eyes LORD bring them to the light. Bring me to the light LORD. Do not let me hate anyone. I beg your forgiveness LORD. In the Mighty name of Jesus the Christ I humbly pray.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
*Thank you Rev. Sammy Williamson for citing this scripture in your sermon yesterday.
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Saturday, August 4, 2012
"Oh ye of little faith ..."
Increase your faith. Close your eyes. Trust GOD. No matter what you are going through, trust GOD to lead and guide you. He will bring you trough it greater than when you went in.
"All things work together for the good of those that love the LORD." Adversity can make or break you. Don't let that demon break you! When adversity or tragedy comes, don't walk away from GOD. Run to GOD!
"The greater the trial, the greater the difficulty, the greater the blessing" (Brother Ricky Bradford)
I've have had some great tragedy in my life. My mother is an albatross. A lying whore that lives to inflict pain. We all know it, always knew it. But, part of her pathology is to deny your pain. You are forbidden to cry or complain while she laughs. I am tormented because I hate her but I love the LORD. The LORD told me to hate no man. But, this woman is beyond sick, beyond sadistic. Dear LORD, how can I love her? Yes I did love her, once, growing up. It was the natural love that a child has, is born with. As I grew that love turned to fear, then hope.
It was a series of events that opened my eyes this last time. There is no hope. I refused to believe she MURDERED my grandfather until it became crystal clear. It was when I finally recalled all of the perversion. Only a woman with a perverted mind such as hers could MURDER their saintly father.
They say hate the sin , don't hate the person. How do you separate the two when she has never stopped. The more you forgive the worse she gets. I feel very foolish when I recount the many awful acts I forgave her for. I feel even dumber when I trace so much tragedy and menacing deeds back to her. The bible says "their feet are swift to run to mischief." That's her, that's Mathy. The whole time this ignorant boob is laughing. Pretending to enjoy the pain she inflicts. I don't believe it for one second. She is caught in a loop. She feels low and unworthy for the things she has done, for the life she has lead. Then when she encounters any one she grows jealous and plots, commits evil. Then she feels lower and more unworthy than before. Then she repeats the cycle. You can't help her. She hates and resents you for trying to help her. She hates you for not being as dirty and low down. You can't win. You can not befriend or love her. No matter what you do you will get the same result. A stab in the back. "From such stay away."
Throwing your shoes and clothes away is her favorite (secret) ploy. She will even help you look for your stuff. It took me years to finally figure out why I was always losing one shoe. She loves to mess with "dodo". I was four years old and a neighbor offended her and she smeared a large quantity of fecal matter on his door. I was around 18 and I picked up my bath cloth to wash my face and it was full of fecal matter! She mailed me her fecal matter in a letter.
That's too weird, too disgusting, mailing people chicken guts and fecal matter. Just as soon as she does it she pretends that she didn't do it. Say she did it! Accuse her if you dare. You just might get stabbed or shot. Getting off with just a good cussing out is simply due to her age and distance.
No, I can't say she is crazy because she is too smart. I can call her demon possessed and a fake Christian with the up most confidence. She demands to be feared. I refuse! You can't hate her but she can hate you.
Forget what she did to me. It is what I saw, it is what I know she did to my brothers. Adolf Hitler didn't have a mind like hers. He killed , he tortured, but not like this woman. I will not retell it here. The world is not ready. I am not ready.
The fact that she could take an old rusty .38 pistol and the blow her father's heart out and dare us to know, to say anything, is horrifying enough. I am ashamed to say that we were dumb enough, terrified enough to be duped. She just lived too long. I came to my senses too soon. Not soon enough, but too soon for her. I can't lie and cloak for her. Call me a prude. I have never liked whorish women, men either. Promiscuity in anyone reviles me.
Preaching! Why!? Perverted! Just as perverted as the day is long! Does she think her "preaching" pleases GOD? Is it her homemade repentance? If she can bring others to Christ with her eloquent preaching and performing, GOD will feel flattered and let her off the hook? No one brags about what a great preacher she is more than she does. Poor woman, she demands the good seats in high places. Demands to be seen, lauded and loved. Demands that you forget the awful things she has done to you over and over and over. 86 and will still cuss you the **** out!
It is hilarious, an old woman with a filthy mouth. I did get that from her. (I'm working on it)
Poor Mathy Jane scrambled her own brain with her witchcraft and hoodoo. Let that be a lesson to you! Stay away from witchcraft, palm and tarot card readers. Do not call the psychic hot line. Don't even read your horoscope! DO NOT EVER GO DOWN ON A GRAVE COLLECTING "GOOFER DUST"!
"All things work together for the good of those that love the LORD." Adversity can make or break you. Don't let that demon break you! When adversity or tragedy comes, don't walk away from GOD. Run to GOD!
"The greater the trial, the greater the difficulty, the greater the blessing" (Brother Ricky Bradford)
I've have had some great tragedy in my life. My mother is an albatross. A lying whore that lives to inflict pain. We all know it, always knew it. But, part of her pathology is to deny your pain. You are forbidden to cry or complain while she laughs. I am tormented because I hate her but I love the LORD. The LORD told me to hate no man. But, this woman is beyond sick, beyond sadistic. Dear LORD, how can I love her? Yes I did love her, once, growing up. It was the natural love that a child has, is born with. As I grew that love turned to fear, then hope.
It was a series of events that opened my eyes this last time. There is no hope. I refused to believe she MURDERED my grandfather until it became crystal clear. It was when I finally recalled all of the perversion. Only a woman with a perverted mind such as hers could MURDER their saintly father.
They say hate the sin , don't hate the person. How do you separate the two when she has never stopped. The more you forgive the worse she gets. I feel very foolish when I recount the many awful acts I forgave her for. I feel even dumber when I trace so much tragedy and menacing deeds back to her. The bible says "their feet are swift to run to mischief." That's her, that's Mathy. The whole time this ignorant boob is laughing. Pretending to enjoy the pain she inflicts. I don't believe it for one second. She is caught in a loop. She feels low and unworthy for the things she has done, for the life she has lead. Then when she encounters any one she grows jealous and plots, commits evil. Then she feels lower and more unworthy than before. Then she repeats the cycle. You can't help her. She hates and resents you for trying to help her. She hates you for not being as dirty and low down. You can't win. You can not befriend or love her. No matter what you do you will get the same result. A stab in the back. "From such stay away."
Throwing your shoes and clothes away is her favorite (secret) ploy. She will even help you look for your stuff. It took me years to finally figure out why I was always losing one shoe. She loves to mess with "dodo". I was four years old and a neighbor offended her and she smeared a large quantity of fecal matter on his door. I was around 18 and I picked up my bath cloth to wash my face and it was full of fecal matter! She mailed me her fecal matter in a letter.
That's too weird, too disgusting, mailing people chicken guts and fecal matter. Just as soon as she does it she pretends that she didn't do it. Say she did it! Accuse her if you dare. You just might get stabbed or shot. Getting off with just a good cussing out is simply due to her age and distance.
No, I can't say she is crazy because she is too smart. I can call her demon possessed and a fake Christian with the up most confidence. She demands to be feared. I refuse! You can't hate her but she can hate you.
Forget what she did to me. It is what I saw, it is what I know she did to my brothers. Adolf Hitler didn't have a mind like hers. He killed , he tortured, but not like this woman. I will not retell it here. The world is not ready. I am not ready.
The fact that she could take an old rusty .38 pistol and the blow her father's heart out and dare us to know, to say anything, is horrifying enough. I am ashamed to say that we were dumb enough, terrified enough to be duped. She just lived too long. I came to my senses too soon. Not soon enough, but too soon for her. I can't lie and cloak for her. Call me a prude. I have never liked whorish women, men either. Promiscuity in anyone reviles me.
Preaching! Why!? Perverted! Just as perverted as the day is long! Does she think her "preaching" pleases GOD? Is it her homemade repentance? If she can bring others to Christ with her eloquent preaching and performing, GOD will feel flattered and let her off the hook? No one brags about what a great preacher she is more than she does. Poor woman, she demands the good seats in high places. Demands to be seen, lauded and loved. Demands that you forget the awful things she has done to you over and over and over. 86 and will still cuss you the **** out!
It is hilarious, an old woman with a filthy mouth. I did get that from her. (I'm working on it)
Poor Mathy Jane scrambled her own brain with her witchcraft and hoodoo. Let that be a lesson to you! Stay away from witchcraft, palm and tarot card readers. Do not call the psychic hot line. Don't even read your horoscope! DO NOT EVER GO DOWN ON A GRAVE COLLECTING "GOOFER DUST"!
Yes ma'am ...
I know what it is to be tortured, to be brought low. I know what it is to be miserable. To be held hostage by a "stanking skant" too repulsive and cowardly to acknowledge herself.
Yea, brother I know what long suffering truly is. Maybe reincarnation is real. It could be that I'm getting paid back for a horrible life I lived thousands of years ago.
Deep inside I know that none of that is true. All my answers, all truth is in GOD's WORD. GOD gave us a book and if we study it we can not avoid knowing His truth. "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry." (1 Samuel 15: 23a)
"Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams." (verse 22 b)
My grandfather taught me that a "little learning" was a dangerous thing. My mother Martha only got a "little learning". She never had the thirst for knowledge her father had. She never acquired his integrity or honesty. Just pretty enough to be called beautiful. Unfortunately too common to be any one's wife or mother. But brilliant, cunning and cruel enough to get over on the world for eighty-six years.
That's not quite true. She burned many that knew to flee her. Some talked about her, told the truth. Most didn't because they usually shared her unspeakable sins before they caught on. She will involve you in something that you would not tell GOD. That's pretty smart. A plot designed by Satan himself. Then there is the voodoo, the black magic.
Any woman carnal enough, wicked enough to solicit demonic spirits should be avoided, shunned. But, if you are born into the clutches of such a woman you're in trouble. You need the LORD Jesus Christ.We all need Jesus, but children of such women need our prayers and intervention.
There are too many such children suffering on this earth. There are far too many uncaring "Christians" too busy living their phony lives to get involved in some one's miserable tortured life.
These "Christians" continue to attend church ever Sunday. Singing, praying, paying their tithes, secretly glad someone is more miserable than they are. Such abandoned and tortured souls make them feel a little better. They get to brag about their great pedigree. How their mother and father were always happily married, never argued, never had a spat. Their parents were never whorish or carnal. They were never molested or even whipped.
These holier than thou "Christian" saints convince themselves that they are somehow more blessed, better than and therefore do not have to concern themselves with the misery of the low class. They may here tell that their very own associate minister is such a pedophile, a MURDERER. They don't care. "So what? It happened a long time ago. I don't believe it. She's so nice, she's so pretty. ..S***! the ***** might mess around and put a "root" on me."
"Tough tiddy! ... glad it wasn't me." Still secretly glad just the same because that "Christian" saint really doesn't have much. If nothing else let the world admire their college degrees, their miserable marriages that they pretend are so wonderful. Let the world admire and envy as Sister or Brother So-in-so gloat while driving around in their luxury cars. Walk a little taller, puff up your pomposity as you park your status symbol in your three car garage in the mini mansion you know you will never pay for.
The world has too many problems. You can't concern yourself with scarred abused children. Why say something now? The fact is you are no better than she is. She can not love or care about another human being on this earth and neither can you.
"I wish she would shut up already!" "I'm tired of hearing about it." "If Gawd want to do sump'in to hur He will ... let bygones be bygones."
One thing you better know. Every WORD in that book is true! You will reap what you sow. What did Jesus tell you? "If you did it unto the least one of these... you did it unto me."
I was the "least one of theses". Born to a known whore that hated me in the womb. Never a father in evidence. Born too black to be loved. A mother that traded her children to her perverted husband and lovers for a few dollars and laughed. A woman that still believes she got over on the church and GOD. A denomination, the A.M.E.Zion church, and a family, still too sorry or too terrified to do any thing about her. Children so wounded, so miserable, they languish, not knowing which way to turn.
Woman! You did every thing demonic to me that you could. You think you ruined my life. WELL YOU DIDN'T! Out of all the heartless miserable things you've done over 86 years there is one thing you should not have done. You should not have taken my granddaddy's life. You are not worthy to wipe his feet. You stand there stoic and seething with anger and rage because I know and I won't shut up. I will never shut up! You may never confess and you may never be indicted. But, I will never shut up!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Yea, brother I know what long suffering truly is. Maybe reincarnation is real. It could be that I'm getting paid back for a horrible life I lived thousands of years ago.
Deep inside I know that none of that is true. All my answers, all truth is in GOD's WORD. GOD gave us a book and if we study it we can not avoid knowing His truth. "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry." (1 Samuel 15: 23a)
"Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams." (verse 22 b)
My grandfather taught me that a "little learning" was a dangerous thing. My mother Martha only got a "little learning". She never had the thirst for knowledge her father had. She never acquired his integrity or honesty. Just pretty enough to be called beautiful. Unfortunately too common to be any one's wife or mother. But brilliant, cunning and cruel enough to get over on the world for eighty-six years.
That's not quite true. She burned many that knew to flee her. Some talked about her, told the truth. Most didn't because they usually shared her unspeakable sins before they caught on. She will involve you in something that you would not tell GOD. That's pretty smart. A plot designed by Satan himself. Then there is the voodoo, the black magic.
Any woman carnal enough, wicked enough to solicit demonic spirits should be avoided, shunned. But, if you are born into the clutches of such a woman you're in trouble. You need the LORD Jesus Christ.We all need Jesus, but children of such women need our prayers and intervention.
There are too many such children suffering on this earth. There are far too many uncaring "Christians" too busy living their phony lives to get involved in some one's miserable tortured life.
These "Christians" continue to attend church ever Sunday. Singing, praying, paying their tithes, secretly glad someone is more miserable than they are. Such abandoned and tortured souls make them feel a little better. They get to brag about their great pedigree. How their mother and father were always happily married, never argued, never had a spat. Their parents were never whorish or carnal. They were never molested or even whipped.
These holier than thou "Christian" saints convince themselves that they are somehow more blessed, better than and therefore do not have to concern themselves with the misery of the low class. They may here tell that their very own associate minister is such a pedophile, a MURDERER. They don't care. "So what? It happened a long time ago. I don't believe it. She's so nice, she's so pretty. ..S***! the ***** might mess around and put a "root" on me."
"Tough tiddy! ... glad it wasn't me." Still secretly glad just the same because that "Christian" saint really doesn't have much. If nothing else let the world admire their college degrees, their miserable marriages that they pretend are so wonderful. Let the world admire and envy as Sister or Brother So-in-so gloat while driving around in their luxury cars. Walk a little taller, puff up your pomposity as you park your status symbol in your three car garage in the mini mansion you know you will never pay for.
The world has too many problems. You can't concern yourself with scarred abused children. Why say something now? The fact is you are no better than she is. She can not love or care about another human being on this earth and neither can you.
"I wish she would shut up already!" "I'm tired of hearing about it." "If Gawd want to do sump'in to hur He will ... let bygones be bygones."
One thing you better know. Every WORD in that book is true! You will reap what you sow. What did Jesus tell you? "If you did it unto the least one of these... you did it unto me."
I was the "least one of theses". Born to a known whore that hated me in the womb. Never a father in evidence. Born too black to be loved. A mother that traded her children to her perverted husband and lovers for a few dollars and laughed. A woman that still believes she got over on the church and GOD. A denomination, the A.M.E.Zion church, and a family, still too sorry or too terrified to do any thing about her. Children so wounded, so miserable, they languish, not knowing which way to turn.
Woman! You did every thing demonic to me that you could. You think you ruined my life. WELL YOU DIDN'T! Out of all the heartless miserable things you've done over 86 years there is one thing you should not have done. You should not have taken my granddaddy's life. You are not worthy to wipe his feet. You stand there stoic and seething with anger and rage because I know and I won't shut up. I will never shut up! You may never confess and you may never be indicted. But, I will never shut up!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Friday, August 3, 2012
"Fa' Sho'!"
Never be ashamed of where you came from, your heritage. There is no such thing as a superior race or a superior language. Dismiss that nonsense right now. Money and status can't make you happy.
If you ever want to be happy, truly happy, you must have the Holy Spirit. Christ must be alive and well in your heart. "Love ye one another as I have loved you." If you are crawling around, slithering and coiling your demonic possessed self around your loved ones pretending to be something that you are not, you are going to be miserable.
You will never be able to acquire enough things. You will be insatiable, always dissatisfied, full of complaints. Your life might be long but it will not be worth living. And when you are dead your loved ones will be glad to see you go.
If you make a mistake be the first one to admit that you slipped, fell and busted your head. Don't spend your time or waste your breath screaming and having tantrums against your "admonishers". We are all sinful by nature, a "nature" given to us by Adam and Eve.
Never be a liar! If you can't tell the truth, shut up, live alone, take a vow of silence. What ever you do don't be double minded. A saint on Sunday and a demon on Monday. Don't ever believe you can bully and intimidate your way into living your carnal life of pleasure. Don't assume because you got away with a mountain of dirt GOD blessed you only and turned His head.
GOD knows every hair on our head and He has a plan and a purpose for each and every life. No, it is never too late to come into the Kingdom. It is never too late to love.
What I know, I know; I got the Holy Ghost at age eight. I leaped for joy all over that apartment, 6C Honeycutt Road, Fort Bragg, North Carolina. I called on Jesus to save me! He saved me! My soul was on fire! I was leaping and dancing, screaming "Save me GeeeeeeeeeeeeZuuusssssssssssss!" Jesus came into my heart to stay.
My mother was after to me with a belt, claiming she was going to beat the ;"living water s*** out of me." Something told me to call on the LORD. I was obedient, humbly and confidently called on the LORD and He saved me. Right there in our living room. She didn't touch me. I knew right then that sadist, that woman masquerading as a mother couldn't touch me.
No, she never stopped menacing me. She never stopped her secret torture or her plots. But, Almighty GOD placed Jerome Walters in my path, kept him in my life. Praise the LORD. Only GOD knew how she secretly hated him, secretly hated me, hated all of us.
GOD has allowed her to live all these years. He has permitted her to do her worse, just to show her He loves her. Just so she can realize His gift of forgiveness.
Live righteously children. No matter what this world tells you. Love the LORD, trust Him. "For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield." Psalm 5:12
No one has to cling to a demon. GOD has rendered her powerless. All she ever had over you was demonic cruelty. She used her brilliant superior intelligence for wrong doing, for manipulation. She starved you of a mother's love just to enslave you. Do not let her lack of faith infect you.
Give the rest of your life to Christ. Trust Him. GOD is fighting for you! He will encamp His Angels around you if you ask Him. Read Psalm 32.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
If you ever want to be happy, truly happy, you must have the Holy Spirit. Christ must be alive and well in your heart. "Love ye one another as I have loved you." If you are crawling around, slithering and coiling your demonic possessed self around your loved ones pretending to be something that you are not, you are going to be miserable.
You will never be able to acquire enough things. You will be insatiable, always dissatisfied, full of complaints. Your life might be long but it will not be worth living. And when you are dead your loved ones will be glad to see you go.
If you make a mistake be the first one to admit that you slipped, fell and busted your head. Don't spend your time or waste your breath screaming and having tantrums against your "admonishers". We are all sinful by nature, a "nature" given to us by Adam and Eve.
Never be a liar! If you can't tell the truth, shut up, live alone, take a vow of silence. What ever you do don't be double minded. A saint on Sunday and a demon on Monday. Don't ever believe you can bully and intimidate your way into living your carnal life of pleasure. Don't assume because you got away with a mountain of dirt GOD blessed you only and turned His head.
GOD knows every hair on our head and He has a plan and a purpose for each and every life. No, it is never too late to come into the Kingdom. It is never too late to love.
What I know, I know; I got the Holy Ghost at age eight. I leaped for joy all over that apartment, 6C Honeycutt Road, Fort Bragg, North Carolina. I called on Jesus to save me! He saved me! My soul was on fire! I was leaping and dancing, screaming "Save me GeeeeeeeeeeeeZuuusssssssssssss!" Jesus came into my heart to stay.
My mother was after to me with a belt, claiming she was going to beat the ;"living water s*** out of me." Something told me to call on the LORD. I was obedient, humbly and confidently called on the LORD and He saved me. Right there in our living room. She didn't touch me. I knew right then that sadist, that woman masquerading as a mother couldn't touch me.
No, she never stopped menacing me. She never stopped her secret torture or her plots. But, Almighty GOD placed Jerome Walters in my path, kept him in my life. Praise the LORD. Only GOD knew how she secretly hated him, secretly hated me, hated all of us.
GOD has allowed her to live all these years. He has permitted her to do her worse, just to show her He loves her. Just so she can realize His gift of forgiveness.
Live righteously children. No matter what this world tells you. Love the LORD, trust Him. "For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield." Psalm 5:12
No one has to cling to a demon. GOD has rendered her powerless. All she ever had over you was demonic cruelty. She used her brilliant superior intelligence for wrong doing, for manipulation. She starved you of a mother's love just to enslave you. Do not let her lack of faith infect you.
Give the rest of your life to Christ. Trust Him. GOD is fighting for you! He will encamp His Angels around you if you ask Him. Read Psalm 32.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Every one should read the book of Job ...
and study it carefully. "Though he (Satan) slay me, yet shall I serve the LORD." No matter how dark your midnights, how cunning and deceitful your arch enemy. Serve the LORD! Hold on to GOD's unchanging hand. Know in every fiber of your being GOD is going to rescue you.
One day you will realize that GOD was with you all the time. GOD was right there leading and guiding you, protecting you. GOD lined up all the right people and put them in your path. All of those evil people that deliberately hurt you for their selfish pleasure will find out they were the pawns.
Jesus commanded us to ;"Love ye one another as I have loved you." There is no greater feeling, no greater experience. If you can't love you are truly in bad shape. If you can't trust GOD you are in worse shape. If you voluntarily became the devil's imp I feel the sorriest for you.
Who told you to become a thief? What made you think that you and you only deserved GOD's best? How can you preach from a book and not believe a word in it?
"GOD is moving by His Spirit." "Don't get weary children." Don't you ever give up on GOD. Get up every morning counting your blessings and thanking your Father for another day to serve Him. Welcome Him into your heart. Ask Him for His mercy and forgiveness.
Dare to love, dare to bless. Ask Him to untwist your mind. Pray for the courage to confess your many sins. Apologize to the people that you hurt, hated, tried to destroy.
"May the Dear LORD add a blessing to His preached WORD."
One day you will realize that GOD was with you all the time. GOD was right there leading and guiding you, protecting you. GOD lined up all the right people and put them in your path. All of those evil people that deliberately hurt you for their selfish pleasure will find out they were the pawns.
Jesus commanded us to ;"Love ye one another as I have loved you." There is no greater feeling, no greater experience. If you can't love you are truly in bad shape. If you can't trust GOD you are in worse shape. If you voluntarily became the devil's imp I feel the sorriest for you.
Who told you to become a thief? What made you think that you and you only deserved GOD's best? How can you preach from a book and not believe a word in it?
"GOD is moving by His Spirit." "Don't get weary children." Don't you ever give up on GOD. Get up every morning counting your blessings and thanking your Father for another day to serve Him. Welcome Him into your heart. Ask Him for His mercy and forgiveness.
Dare to love, dare to bless. Ask Him to untwist your mind. Pray for the courage to confess your many sins. Apologize to the people that you hurt, hated, tried to destroy.
"May the Dear LORD add a blessing to His preached WORD."
"We are saved by Grace!"
Another "trueism" taught to me by my grandfather. When I tell you that I am prouder than any Peacock. That I am beaming and radiating because I know that there is not one human being on this earth that can feel more blessed, more anointed, more tried in the fire, than I do.
I look at my skin, radiant, glistening as pure gold. I am full of the pride that Jerome Walters instilled in me. He always told me that I was someone special. Always loved and protected me. Provided for me and filled me with his wisdom.
Jerome Walters was an uncannily wise man. Tall, noble, heroic, kind and gentle. He was regal and nurturing, a very "manly" masculine man. Yet, he combed and brushed my hair. Tied beautiful white ribbons to my pigtails, shined and buffed my patent leather shoes. Taught me how to cook and iron.
I was my granddaddy's lap baby. If my granddaddy was around I never knew what it was to sit in a chair. I was twenty-eight years old still rushing home to sit in my granddaddy's lap. To sit at his feet and absorb his wise counsel.
I have decades of wonderful loving memories of my grandfather that no one can take away. His wise proverbs and examples of righteous living refresh me every day. I can not let his living be in vain. Frankly I am appalled by my "relatives" that refuse to help me defeat the demon that MURDERED him. I pray for you. I pray that GOD will lead you to the light and out of the darkness you cower in.
She can't hurt you. She is powerless. I understand the mortal fear she instilled in us. I got up one day, at the ripe old age of fifty-eight and finally stood up to her. My voice was trembling, but I finally found the courage to confront her. Of course she cussed me out, cursed me, reviled and rebuked me. Surprisingly it no longer hurt me.
GOD saved me! His amazing Grace saved me! GOD sanctified me, told me to fear no man. He told me not to fear my hideous demonic mother that scrambled our brains and reduced us to tears on her flimsy whims. GOD snatched her cloak off. I saw a ravenous blood thirsty monster ruled by envy and jealousy. A fake preacher that believed she discovered the magic formula for living a double life. A woman dedicated enough to memorize the sermons and prayers of others but not committed enough to GOD's WORD to practice it.
"We are saved by Grace!" When you pray ask GOD to touch your heart with a finger of love. Ask Him to come into your heart to stay. Ask Him for ears that hear. Step out on faith. Re-read and study the book of Acts. GOD gave you Power, "Wonder working Power". You don't have to live miserable,imprisoned by shame and degradation.
Get up! Trample your enemies under your feet. They fear GOD! That is why they are so cruel and emasculating. They are cowards, terrified of their sins. They should be. Any monster that would take advantage of an innocent child is not fit to live. "Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not the kingdom of heaven."
"In all thy getting, get understanding." And don't you ever harm a child! If you did, repent! Don't waste your time running to "root workers" and soothsayers. Don't waste the few days you have left on this earth hollering "Liar!", "No sense-ED!", "black jealous C***!"
Get on your knees and repent. Repent of your many many sins and carnal acts. Ask GOD to forgive you for always plotting and planning to deceive. Ask GOD to forgive you for taking lives. Tell GOD you are sorry. Tell your victims that you are sorry.
We are saved by Grace. Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
I look at my skin, radiant, glistening as pure gold. I am full of the pride that Jerome Walters instilled in me. He always told me that I was someone special. Always loved and protected me. Provided for me and filled me with his wisdom.
Jerome Walters was an uncannily wise man. Tall, noble, heroic, kind and gentle. He was regal and nurturing, a very "manly" masculine man. Yet, he combed and brushed my hair. Tied beautiful white ribbons to my pigtails, shined and buffed my patent leather shoes. Taught me how to cook and iron.
I was my granddaddy's lap baby. If my granddaddy was around I never knew what it was to sit in a chair. I was twenty-eight years old still rushing home to sit in my granddaddy's lap. To sit at his feet and absorb his wise counsel.
I have decades of wonderful loving memories of my grandfather that no one can take away. His wise proverbs and examples of righteous living refresh me every day. I can not let his living be in vain. Frankly I am appalled by my "relatives" that refuse to help me defeat the demon that MURDERED him. I pray for you. I pray that GOD will lead you to the light and out of the darkness you cower in.
She can't hurt you. She is powerless. I understand the mortal fear she instilled in us. I got up one day, at the ripe old age of fifty-eight and finally stood up to her. My voice was trembling, but I finally found the courage to confront her. Of course she cussed me out, cursed me, reviled and rebuked me. Surprisingly it no longer hurt me.
GOD saved me! His amazing Grace saved me! GOD sanctified me, told me to fear no man. He told me not to fear my hideous demonic mother that scrambled our brains and reduced us to tears on her flimsy whims. GOD snatched her cloak off. I saw a ravenous blood thirsty monster ruled by envy and jealousy. A fake preacher that believed she discovered the magic formula for living a double life. A woman dedicated enough to memorize the sermons and prayers of others but not committed enough to GOD's WORD to practice it.
"We are saved by Grace!" When you pray ask GOD to touch your heart with a finger of love. Ask Him to come into your heart to stay. Ask Him for ears that hear. Step out on faith. Re-read and study the book of Acts. GOD gave you Power, "Wonder working Power". You don't have to live miserable,imprisoned by shame and degradation.
Get up! Trample your enemies under your feet. They fear GOD! That is why they are so cruel and emasculating. They are cowards, terrified of their sins. They should be. Any monster that would take advantage of an innocent child is not fit to live. "Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not the kingdom of heaven."
"In all thy getting, get understanding." And don't you ever harm a child! If you did, repent! Don't waste your time running to "root workers" and soothsayers. Don't waste the few days you have left on this earth hollering "Liar!", "No sense-ED!", "black jealous C***!"
Get on your knees and repent. Repent of your many many sins and carnal acts. Ask GOD to forgive you for always plotting and planning to deceive. Ask GOD to forgive you for taking lives. Tell GOD you are sorry. Tell your victims that you are sorry.
We are saved by Grace. Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
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