GOD is Good!

Rest assured.  I don't care what you have been trough or what you are going through, GOD is with you.  He is right there leading and guiding you in the right direction.

Trust Him!  Pray for Him to take all that fear and hatred away.  Dare to love.  Love your enemies.

True, you may have some enemies that you can not trust.  Stay away from them, don't hate them.  Do pray for them, do pity them.

I was in college, I think it was junior year.  I came home to visit my grandfather.  That was my custom.  My school was only sixty miles away, in Greensboro, so I came home often to help my mother, to take care of my grandfather.

This particular time I drove home.  One of her boyfriends let me keep his car.  I drove to the VA where my grandfather was hospitalized for some ailment.  He suffered with very bad health in his declining years.

I walked in the room and I was shocked!  I saw something that shook me to my socks.  My mother was standing there talking to my grandfather.  She had on a white dress.  One like those sanctified holiness sisters wear in church.  She had on an old wig, a white turban and a hat.

There was no doubt.  My poor mother had lost her absolute mind.  She was reading her Bible and spouting scripture.  I knew that she had finally completely lost it.  Her young fine husband had left her, left her for good.

She deserved to be left because she was a fool.  Violent, ignorant, vulgar, whorish, combative.  He was much too young for her and he couldn't take it.  We understood.  We couldn't take it either.  We did because we had no other choice.  She was "ours".  We were stuck with her.

She knew how to behave in front of people.  No matter how insane she became we could never pin her mental illness down.  An insane woman too smart, too clever to be caught "crazy".

I cried.  I felt so sorry for her.  I wanted to help her but I didn't know how.  We all wanted to help her.  My granddaddy tried to help her.  We all failed.

My grandfather made me promise to always help her.  He knew she was crazy.  He knew something went way wrong many years ago.

It took me many, many years and a lot of heartbreak to figure her out. Demonic.  Demonic plain and simple.

Jesus said from such stay away.  I will stay away.  But, I pray GOD's goodness and mercy.  If you have a "fool" in your family don't let them run roughshod over you too long.

I know that GOD is working this out.  Dear LORD may my entire family come to know your Gospel truth, trust you and love you and give up their awful shame.

Be abundantly blessed.  Stay in His WORD children.  Remember;"apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch,JEROME WALTERS)

"I pity the fool!"

That comment was made famous by Mr. T.  The older I get the more I understand it.  True I have had my share of pain in this world.  But, don't we all.  To live on this earth is to suffer.  You can not have a pain free existence.  Your fellowman will not let you.

I am a woman that has grieved her entire life.  I sympathize with the "woman with an issue of blood".  She was finally able to touch the "hem of His garment and was made whole".

I too touched the "hem of His garment and was made whole".  In my excitement, in my joy I want everyone to be able to celebrate with me.  I know that we all have to work out our own "salvation".  Every one will not hear, can not hear.

There is a woman that I feel very sorry for.  I truly pity her.  She will not hear!  It breaks my heart to see her suffer so.  Needless pain because she refuses to listen.   So many have suffered excruciating pain at her hands.

I know now that she suffered far worse than any of her victims.  Selfish and greedy, lying and scheming, fornicating and working roots.  Now she can't hold her head up.  Is there a decent person on this earth that will receive her?

A man's word is his bond.  When you prove to be nothing but a backstabbing lying conjuring murderer, where do you go?  When you still refuse to get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness.  When you demand to lie, bully and terrorize till your dying day.  You better know that you will die alone.  You will die without a loving GOD on your side.

That's sad.  That makes me cry.  I have cried a river a tears in my life.  Most due to that woman that refuses to be corrected.  Refuses to repent, to hear from GOD.  A complete fool that only succeeded in fooling herself.

She successfully surrounded herself with victims too timid, too scarred and terrorized to ever tell her the truth.  Like swarming vultures they wait to feed on her carcass.  She is a skillful liar.  She has nothing left to give.  Always bragging about how much money she has, her great credit rating.  Ask her for some of that money.  She will make you grovel.  It will be the most expensive dollar you ever got.  The interest is too high.

I pity all GOD's children that still refuse to hear Him.  I am in prayer for the stiffnecked today.

Be abundantly blessed.

Only GOD can make ...

your Joy bell ring.  Your collection of clothes, cars, gadgets and do-dads won't do it.  Your multitudinous accolades, presumed degrees mean nothing.  The hapless relatives that visit you toting balloons and flowers can't help.

It is GOD Almighty and GOD only.  You can lie until you are blue in the face.  You know that you are lying and you know exactly what you did and when you did it.  You might not fully understand why you did it.  But, you know you did it.  You know that your hands are bloody and your heart is filthy.

I can not help but wonder,  how many mothers are like you?  How many women are possessed with a demonic spirit, enslaved by carnal lust, lead by psychotic envy and loathsome jealousy?  You threw your rocks and hid your hand,  always blaming the "man", racism, for my hard luck.  You not only knew full well it was you, you enjoyed it.  Celebrated every successful scheme.

Your horribly abused son managed to become a medical doctor.  Scored among the highest in the nation on the MCAT.  You couldn't have it.  No one on this earth will ever out do you in anything.  Not if you can slitter up to them to poison and destroy them. Not if you can use your feminine wilds to seduce and destroy.  GOD said that your feet would be swift to run to mischief and they always have.  Martha you are a jealous woman that "never" earned a college degree.  It is not that you couldn't , you wouldn't.   Yes, you have a worthless associates "degree" in secretarial science from Fayetteville State.  You bragged about how you cheated in every course.

Notice, that "degree" didn't make your Joy bell ring.  You were talked about for having so many children out of wedlock.  So you snared a man.  He was too short and too black for you.  He certainly didn't make your Joy bell ring.  Why did you sexually molest your own children?  Were you bored?  Is normal sex too tame for you?  Or were you just trying to destroy?  Were you trying to punish us, punish GOD?

Are you mad because you can't erase my memory?  Or are you mad because I refuse to shut up?  I'm telling it.  I'M SCREAMING IT UNTIL SOMEBODY LISTENS.

One day some human beings are going to come to my rescue.   They will share my message.  There are some intelligent people on this earth that get it.  It is not the fact that you are black or low class.  You are a HEDONIST! You put your selfish carnal pleasure before everything.  Innocent victims no longer have to remain silent in a selfish hedonistic world.  GOD is revealing you for His own purpose.

You are a weak woman.  You lack self discipline and morals.  You are a lying MURDERER!  You don't love GOD, never did and perhaps never will.

You did wrong when you tried to destroy me, to destroy us.  Your pathological lying will not help you because You know the truth.

I don't know why you went wrong or when you went wrong.  You went way wrong Mathy.   "Wide is the road that leads to death and destruction."  You got on the wrong road many years ago and did everything you could to stay there.  Savagely angry and evil you have lived the life of a reprobate fool.

I will not honor you.  I will not lie and pretend that there is anything to lie for, anything about you worth protecting.  I will not cloak you and I can not fear you.  I am stupefied by my brothers.  Are they deaf, dumb and blind?  Did you successfully steal their manhood?  We shared the same grandfather, heard his wise admonitions everyday.

Is it our gender that makes the difference?  I am here to tell you that you do not have to bear her shame.  Read your Bible carefully.  As long as you "honor" her, love her more than GOD you will be "cursed".

If you want to hear from GOD, if you want your Joy bell to ring, give up fear.  Give up harboring a demon.  Thank GOD for His many blessings, for His Truth and salvation.  To GOD be the Glory.

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."  And only the LORD Jesus Christ can make your Joy bell ring.

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

GOD's WORD is not...

a secret.  He does not keep it secret and cloaked for a select few. GOD is generous with His Knowledge. He reveals it to the simple.  All you have to do is ask.  "Seek and ye shall find."

He will turn you over to a reprobate mind if you insist.  Get arrogant, pretend that you are too pretty, too brilliant to heed GOD's WORD, His Laws.  Play crazy if you want to.  You will not win.  You can't win.

So your roaring , cruelty and foul deeds made some quake.  People lie to you just like you lie to them.  People use you just as much as you use them.

Now you finally know that GOD is real.  Not just His mighty prophesies, His Love.  Wrap your brain around that.  No matter what we do or have done, GOD loves us anyway.

What an awesome GOD I serve.  (I can't speak for You)

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

"What did I know? ...

and when did I know it?"  Did I know I lived in mortal fear of my life all my life?  I had no name for it but I knew to steer clear of her, to do everything she commanded.  I knew to NEVER tell on her, to keep my ignorant jet black worthless piece of s*** dumb a** questions and comments to myself.

I knew that at any moment she could and she would swoop down on me like a savage panther, strip me naked, hog-tie me, gag  and beat me to a bloody pulp like she did my brother.  I also knew that she thought that she was perfect, stunningly beautiful and could do no wrong.  I knew that she viewed herself as the perfect Princess born into the wrong world.  A world of dummies and liars, a world where she was always misunderstood and lied on.  A world where people talked too much, "stayed in her bizness".

Did I know how much she hated me, hated us, for intruding on her perfect life?   I knew I watched my grandfather shed silent tears almost everyday.  I would observe him reading his Bible.  Then hot tears would flood his eyes, stream slowly down his chiseled face and lock under his chin.  I know he prayed for her, prayed for us.  I listened to his kind admonitions and heeded.

She never did.  She made it a devious game.  Say good kind things and do the absolute opposite.  Hide your ignorant sick hatred.  Bludgeon, murder, maim and kill while grinning and lying.  Spew your flattery to hide your jealousy.  Creep around with your hoodoo, graveyard dirt and stank eye.

Poor Martha is a woman who has always pretended to be happy.  I don't think she has every been happy a single day in her miserable life.  Could she be ashamed of who she really is?  Something went afoul in her young life.  Smashing a tiny little puppy brought her joy.  It trilled her.  A fantastic feeling she learned to harbor in her heart.

Too smart, too cleaver, too good a liar, Martha's proclivities would not be denied her.  Martha knew that she was brilliant and the entire world was dumb.  All she had to do was play the part.  Play dress up, put on a mask, sweeten her words when she felt like it.  No one would ever know.

Play preacher, loving daughter, loving mother; "these dummies will never  know, never catch on."  You were right Martha.  Perhaps I would have never caught on.  But you MURDERED the wrong man.  You murdered a kind gentle man.   A man like David, a man after GOD's own heart.

True it happened a long time ago.  You knew that we were too terrified of you to say anything, to protest.  I knew but my embedded fear would not let me "know".  I refused to believe it.  I knew that you were cruel, selfish, a pathological liar.  I knew that you were violent and brutal, common and nasty.  I refused to believe that you were common enough, cruel enough to kill your own father.

My brother's return after a twenty-five year estrangement brought some truth.  He brought the pieces of the awful puzzle.  COMMON! is the only word I have for you.  Common and lawless.

You grew too accustomed to doing your dirt and slyly blaming it on others.  I shudder to think of the foul lies you have heaped on me.  I will not bear your burdens or protect your name.  "Get thee behind me Satan!"  If you can't repent, run and hide.  Granddaddy begged you to change, to live right.  You chose awful deceit and EVIL.  Your fake praying and phony license won't get you off.  You are reaping.  "When your desolation comes it will come as a whirlwind!"

No, I didn't know that you hated my grandfather.  I knew that you talked to him like a dog, mistreated him.  I heard your constant screams; "WHEN YOU GON' DIE OLD MAN!?"  I knew you took all of his money.  I watched you practice witchcraft on your relatives, on me.

You thought your cousin *S**** E**** had too much.  She was living too well in *P******, *S*.  She had a loving husband and beautiful children.  They had a beautiful home, a store, a thriving business.  Your heart ached.  You started visiting them too often.  Soon they had nothing and you laughed.

You are a witch and you know it.  Do you really think GOD is going to let you cloak yourself in His robe, get up in His pulpit blasting lies?

Just like granddaddy taught you: "Time changes all things dawthur."  Your time is up.  The wise will hear and heed.  The minions that you successfully destroyed will go down with you.

"Ya' going to Hell dawthur!"

Rest assured every word in that Book is true.  Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

Gifts From My Grandfather

I got up early this morning, before six a.m.  I got that from my granddaddy.  He never slept late.  "Get up soon in de'morning dawthur."

He was a farmer, he had a lot to do.  Feed the chickens, hogs, the mule.  Get the day started; "Look well to your going...your going out, your coming in."

Granddaddy did not have an agenda book, or a "planner".  He had noting to remind him of his many tasks.  He got up early and brewed a strong pot of black coffee.  Fixed some griddle cakes, saturated them in butter and cane syrup.  These delicious thin crispy cakes were made of cornmeal and a little bit of flour,  fried in the renderings  of "streak a'lean".

I loved knawing on the thin strip of pork rind I peeled  from the fried fat, eating the narrow strip of bacon.  He prepared his eggs over easy.  The warm yellow yoke would spill out over his creamy grits.

Get up early, have a good breakfast.  Get down on your knees or stand and pray.  No matter what,  always pray, thank GOD for your many blessings.

While reflecting on the wonderful life I shared with my grandfather off and on for twenty-seven and one half years, I can not recall  a day when he was without a project.  He never said anything.  He never announced what he intended to do, he just did it.

One day he would re-cane the bottom of his straight back chairs.  The next day he would make lye-soap, or build a dog house, or a new chicken coop.  Never one to put his plans on paper or to brag about his intentions, he simply got up early and did them.

I watched my grandfather create a worm farm to grow red wigglers.  He had a mint julip garden, a flock of Guineas, used the "Framers Almanac" to plan his garden and crops.  He was a healer.  I stepped on some milk glass.  Cut a deep wound in my tiny foot.  He didn't panic.  He placed my foot in a basin of ice cold water.  When the profuse bleeding stopped he placed a copper penny on the cut and a piece of fat back, tied it with clean white cotton.

You may laugh but it never got infected and I didn't get lockjaw.  He "wormed" us every fall with a dose of Cod Liver oil.

No my grandfather was not college educated,  as a matter of fact he wasn't educated at all.  He said that he  attended school for a total of nine months.  Three months for three was all he was allowed.  He had to help farm.  He had to "git the 'bacca crop in."

Denied a proper education he knew too well its value.  That's all he wanted for his children and grandchildren.  Truly a self educated man I admired his ravenous reading.  If it was in print granddaddy was going to read it.   I laughed when I caught him reading my high school textbooks.

Granddaddy loved to read so I loved to read.  Granddaughter was an eloquent public speaker.  So that's what I decided to be.  Granddaddy had high morals, so that is what I wanted.

Intuitively I knew that granddaddy's southern speech, country dialect had no bearing on his intellect.  He was my Socrates, John Locke, Montesque.  Jerome Walters was a wise man born far too soon.  His wisdom was far too advanced for his generation, for his own wife and children.

I re-found this "People's Prayer" this morning in Alice Walker's Anything We Love Can Be Saved.  Zora Neale Hurston collected it, Alice reprinted it and  calls it a people's prayer.  I call it a "negro" prayer .  I love it because it proves that you don't have to be "articulate", proper or have a command of the King's English to touch GOD's heart, the heart of your fellowman.

"...You have been with me from the earliest rocking of my cradle up until this present moment.  You know our hearts, our Father, and all de range of our deceitful minds.  And if you find anything like sin lurking in and around our hearts, Ah ast you, my Father, and my wonder-workin' God, to pluck it out and cast it into the sea of fuhgitfulness, where it will never rise to harm us in dis world nor condemn us in de judgment.  You heard me when Ah laid at hell's dark door with no weapon in my hand and no God in my heart, and cried for three long days and nights.  You heard me, Lawd, and stooped so low and snatched me from the hell of eternal death and damnation. You cut loose my stammerin' tongue; You established my feet on de rock of salvation and yo' voice was heard in rumblin' judgement.  I thank Thee that my last night's sleepin' couch was not my coolin' board and my cover was not my windin' sheet.  Speak to de sinner-man and bless 'im.  Touch all those who have been down to de doors of degradation. Ketch de man dat's layin' in danger of consumin' fire:  And Lawd, when Ah kin pray no mo', when Ah done drunk down de last cup of sorrow, look on me, yo' weak servant who feels de least of all.  'Point my soul a restin' place where Ah kin set down and praise yo' name forever is my prayer for Jesus' sake Amen and thank God."  

Most of our ancestors were robbed of a refined education.  Don't you ever think or dare to believe that a country dialect or the lack of college degrees is any indication of stupidity.  My grandfather taught me by example and I learned that the love in one's heart is far more important than any regurgitated memorized "knowledge" carried in your head.

As you go about your day today reflect on the generations that prayed for you.  That sacrificed for you, that loved you before you were born.  Don't you ever forget that they loved GOD more than money or fame, more than titles and college degrees.

Be abundantly blessed today.   Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster( the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

"Good Morning!"

When you greet people with the phrase "Good Morning!" you are in fact blessing them.  You are wishing or willing them to have a good morning.  Yes,you can use the power of positive thought to "will" or "wish" others to have a good day.

There is power in the "tongue".  GOD's WORD teaches us that.  All traditional greetings, admonitions, and comments influence the lives of others.  Your "curses", negative opinions, insults and disparaging remarks  can have an impact.  If for no other reason than the sting of that  secret hatred and jealousy can be felt.  GOD gave us a sixth sense.  If you tune in carefully you can quickly discern all demons.

Perhaps I am unusual, overly sensitive and perceptive.  Some may call it a "gift", some a "curse".  They tell me that my grandmother Rachel had the gift of clairvoyance.  GOD revealed things to her.

My mother told me that she was a little girl standing in the kitchen with her mother.  Suddenly a large white spider was hanging by the thin thread he spun plunge suddenly from the top of the door to the floor then disappear.  Her mother stood staring, then declared; " A white man gon' come heah.  He coming heah to tell us dat somebody ded."

Sure enough, not long after, a white man in a black suit appeared at that very door to deliver the message that one of my grandfather's brothers was found dead.

My grandmother knew the exact moment her seventeen year old son was murdered and died in his father's arms.  Again my mother was a witness, sitting on the front porch with her mother.  They watched in awe as a light, a small star,  emanating from the road traveled slowly up the dirt winding road.  It had to travel for at least a mile, growing brighter and larger as it inched slowly toward them.  My mother's thirteen year old comment was; "Somebody coming up heah ain't got but one headlight."

The "light" came clear up to them on the porch then burst light a sparkler on the 4th of July.  At that very moment my grandmother Rachel hung her head and waled a mournful cry; "Man son is dead."

How could she know that was the precise moment her son lay dying in his father's arms?  Mr. Jerry McClean was rushing them to Fayetteville, to the nearest hospital that would accept "colored".  It was too late.  Bruce Jacobs' bullet had caught him in the aorta.  He bleed to death with his father clutching him and praying.

What is my point? Why do I reveal so much of my life on this blog?  Because you need to know.  You need to know that we serve a Living and Loving GOD.  GOD sent everyone of us to this planet for a purpose.  He told us that we have to repent of our sins.  That we have to Love Him and Trust Him.

You can't stop GOD.  You can't interfer with His plans.  GOD is going to have His way.  Since the first awareness of myself as an individual I have been compelled to write.  I announced to my mother at age eight that I was going to be an author.  That I just wanted to be a "book writer".  She told me no.  She told me that I wasn't S***!

For sixty-one years she has put stumbling blocks in my path.  From awful sick sexual molestation, exploitation, lies, curses and vulgar "cussings" and "root working".  No I have never been her only target.  I'm just the only survivor willing to stand up to her, willing to call her out.  She pretends that she hates me for "lying" on her.  The fact is she hates me for telling the Gospel truth on her.  She hates me for being prettier, smarter, having higher morals, for earning a college degree.

Anyone that looks carefully, that listens will soon detect her deep hatred and loathsome envy.  Within five minutes of talking to her you will soon tire of her bragging and boasting.  The fact is Martha is a woman in love with herself demanding that you see what she sees.  Demanding that you honor and celebrate her color and hair.  Praise her brilliant schemes.  To declare that you want to be like her is the compliment that she craves.

GOD blessed me to see through her from birth.  To be repulsed by her touch.  She did scare me.  I must admit that she had me absolutely terrorized until 2009.  GOD took that fear away when I prayed and asked Him.

PRAISE THE LORD!

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

The World Must Know! The World Will Know!

Today I was simply reflecting on Dr. King and the Civil Rights Movement.  I was eight years old (1959) when I first heard about him.  Truthfully when Dr. King first started his movement he was NOT supported by the masses in the black community.  At least not the black bourgeoisie.  Not the "Negroes" that had made it, the undertakers, shop owners, and small businessmen.

He was greatly criticized for NOT "leaving well enough alone".  Many black people were comfortable in their "place".  I remember reading the "Colored" section of the Fayetteville Observer.  The "Colored Obituary" could be found in small print far behind the "OBITUARIES".   The "Colored Weddings" were next to the last page of the paper far behind "FAYETTEVILLE'S SOCIETY ".  Our hometown paper even advertised "Colored jobs".

I remember the separate but "unequal" cemeteries, the "unequal" schools.  I was not allowed to swim in the public swimming pool.  (They took out tax money though) Our new textbooks were the old ones the white schools discarded.  I had to ride a city bus to school.  It was not free or tax supported.  We had to pay our own way.

I became a thief at eight years old when I defiantly climbed the beautiful spiral staircase in Sears and Roebucks department store and "stole" a belly full of "White Only" water  from the "white" water fountain.

If you were deemed "colored" you were automatically assumed to be inferior intellectually, morally and spiritually.  You were a "n*****", you knew it, the world knew it and you better accept your place at the back of the line.

This social and political practice of "Jim Crow" was the genteel Southern tradition.  Every one was cool with it.  So white people claimed to believe.

Many black people accepted Booker T. Washington's suggestion of "waiting and proving".  Wait on your rights, prove to the white man that you deserve them.  Everyone remembers his "Separate as the five fingers but one as the hand in everything for mutual progress." speech.

Mr. Washington ,a former slave agreed with white society that the "negro" was not ready after hundreds of years of chattel  slavery.  Slavery did have an effect on us as a people.  Dehumanized from 1619 to 1865.  Enfranchised from 1877 through the 1960s.

True black people as a "race" have been messed over and messed up.  Dr. King refused to give up, to accept maltreatment.  He sacrificed his life so that his fellowman could enjoy his rightful place in our great country.

We have all benefited.  The whole world has benefited.  I feel like Dr. King must have felt sometime.  I am going to agitate, I am going to speak up and speak out.  I am going to expose the evil that has destroyed millions of our children.

I no longer concern myself with race.  Not those artificial constructs that hold us back.  I am only concerned with one race, the entire "Human " race. I am speaking out for the children that have no voice.  I am sounding a trumpet for ALL abused children.

You predators may not stop but I will expose you.  It is my hope that predators, all pedophiles will be helped by my exposure.  Research has shown that many pedophiles were also abused as children.

PEDOPHILIA is a "Black Plague" on our nation.  It has nothing to do with race, color, gender or ethnicity. It has all to do with Spiritual wickedness.

I will not ignore it and I will not suffer from it any longer.  I'M TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD!  I am exposing the culprits and I am setting the record straight.

For sixty-one years I have carried this awful burden.  This sickness, this perversion that this selfish woman laid on me.  My whole life I have been sick and in distress.  For sixty-one years I have endured the pain of being kicked in the stomach.

This woman, this "Mathy Jane" with her double decker wigs, Cadillacs, fine clothes and money to burn has done nothing but torture me, eviscerated every joyous pleasure I thought about having.

These pedophiles lust after children.  They derive sexual pleasure from children.  They have no conscious, no love, not one care in the world for a single victim.

I was robbed from birth!  Millions of children are robbed, destroyed , ruined from birth by their OWN parents.  They pretend that you wanted to do it.  That you enticed them.  They come to you with this "little secret".  They make sure you know that it's a "secret", that you can't ever tell anyone.

Sadly when you do tell no one cares.  The world victimizes you all over again.  I want my honesty, my truth telling to take the shame out, to remove the stain.  I want abused "children" to heal and to be able to get on with their lives.  It is my hope and prayer that my telling will help to take  the "shame" out of being a victim and place it squarely where it should be, on the VICTIMZER! .  I will not let her continue to hide behind her clerical robe, her Sunday school class.  She will not hide behind the words "mother" and "grandmother".

She is a "grand" liar! A "grand" MURDERER! A "grand" Rapist! A "grand" Thief, A "grand" Root Worker/Soothe Sayer .

She never loved or cared about a single person on this earth.  Perhaps she couldn't.  Maybe it is not her fault.  She can't or won't come to repentance, bragged that she won't.

Well I refuse to be her slave, her second class citizen.   I refuse to be robbed of my joy, of my life, of all potential happiness.  She is not nearly as stupid as she pretends to be.

She is a demon and she loves evil.  I am a Christian and I love the LORD!  I trust Him with every fiber of my being.  I thank Him for rescuing me from EVIL!  I thank Him for the Holy Ghost Power that He gave me to trample EVIL under my feet!

(My friend posted something on FB I hope she doesn't mind me repeating here.  "From victim to survivor to thrivor to WARRIOR!")

PRAISE THE LORD!!! Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

You will be hated...

ostracized, talked about, lied on, persecuted by All men for loving your LORD Jesus Christ.  Don't you ever forget how Christ was hated and crucified on this earth.

Man has not changed.  Men are just as stupid, lying and easily led astray as they were over two thousand years ago.  Jesus told us they would infiltrate the church, lead silly captives astray.

Have you been led astray?  Do you think attending church "religiously" is enough?  Do you think hollering "LORD! LORD!" is enough?  Why do you wear that crucifix?  Is it simply a "good luck charm" to you?  Do you wear it to appear to be saved?

Are you living right?  Do you love your fellow man?  Can you hear GOD's voice?  Who told you to appease the devil? to live double minded? to straddle the fence?  to lay your "religion down" every time you encountered a problem you thought GOD was too slow to fix?

Are you walking by sight or faith?  Are you living the life GOD wants you to live or are you living the life that you want to live?  Do you justify your sin by declaring that GOD knows your heart?  Do you know your heart?  Are you envious and jealous? Lying and deceitful?  Are you looking for a shortcut to Glory?  Did some greedy "preacher" convince you that your "tithing" will protect you from all harm?

Are you ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ?  You were born into a sinful world.  You inherited sin from your parents, from your "friends", this world.  Do you think salvation, living right, is too hard a cross to bear?

Is GOD's Almighty TRUTH too hard to bear?  Which "road" are you on?  "Wide is the road that leads to death and destruction.  Narrow is the path of righteousness."

If you are afraid to be hated why don't you know that you are going to be hated no matter what.  The devil doesn't have to tell you that she hates you, pre-hated you for you to know that there is nothing you can do.

Why do you shrink? hide your gifts and talents?  Why do you let her reduce you to dust and laugh?  Why do you go crawling to her for a place to live? to pay your gas or electric bill?  You know she has scandalized your name in hopes of elevating herself above you.

You know she has never had a "maternal" instinct.  Never loved a single soul on this earth.  Yes, she wants to possess you, to own you.  Just to abuse you like every toy and trophy she ever had.

Do you remember the three hundred dollar suits she bought in the sixties?  She would buy three, four hundred dollars suits, five at the time from The Capital, and Fleishman's Big Store just so she could throw them down on her bedroom floor and walk on them.  I know because I was her quarry slave that was all too glad to hang them up, to admire them.

I had no clothes, no shoes.  I knew better than to complain.  I made do with the meager possessions she allowed me to have.  I washed that dingy yellow faded cotton blouse out in the sink every night.  You weren't going to use HER washing machine, wasting HER water, HER electricity.  And you damn sure "bed' NOT complain!"  She was perfect.  She was MATHY JANE!

Any adult can frighten, terrorize and intimidate a child.  Any mother can lure her children into captivity and enslave them.  It doesn't take a lot of intelligence.  Just a lot of vulgarity, loud cussing and cursing. It does require a lot of hatred, abominable ignorance.

Too many people still confuse cruelty with courage, mistake GOD's "time" with man's.  "You might get by.  You might get by for a long time.  But, you will not get away."  You will not get away from the Hand of GOD, from His retribution.  You should have known better.  You did.  You knew full well what you were doing.  That's why you crafted every deceit and deed so carefully.

I always wondered why you hated Rev. McIver so much?  She saw through you and told you about yourself.  She was not afraid of you, not one day.  Neither was your daddy.  He told you every day.  You got tired of hearing the truth about yourself.  You did away with his body.  Jesus told us not to fear you.  He told us not to fear anyone or anything that can kill the body but not the soul, the spirit.  Jerome Walter's spirit has never left me.  His admonishments and wisdom is crystal clear in my head.

So, you thought you were going to go out looked up to, the "mother" of the church.  You thought you would be admired and held in high esteem.

Did you ever consider the true and living GOD in your schemes?  Did you really think some "graveyard dirt" was all you needed? Did you really think that you were going to get clean away? That your old age was truly a blessing from GOD?  Do you still think all of your children are your blind, deaf slaves?

Certainly you hurt and injured me.  You blocked my way, destroyed all my writing, my prose, my poetry, my master's thesis.  I hope you finally noticed that you did not stop me from becoming a published author.  You are a brilliant writer.  Destined to be one from your father, grandmother and great grandmother.

You just couldn't trust GOD.  I forgive you.  Why so many evil tricks?  Why so many lies?  Why jealousy and envy over the same gifts and talents that GOD gave you?

Why can't you bend your stiff neck?  Why don't you confess?  Give your children an opportunity to go into the Kingdom!  You don't have to go.  Don't continue to prevent others, to block their way.  You know better.  Do right for once in your life.

This is my therapy, my healing.  "Better out than in." ; was always my grandfather's advice.  You deliberately saddled me with too much pain.  Demanded that I take it to my grave.  "Even water boils when it gets hot."  "The straw that broke the camel's back."

You went too far when you MURDERED my granddaddy.  You caused me too much pain.  I grew accustomed to your lying on me.  But, when you started lying on MY DAUGHTER!  When you started cultivating lying shame for her.  That was enough.  I saw the jealous hatred in your eyes when she graduated from Boston University.  I saw you cringe when she walked across that stage.

I remember how you reacted when your first cousin, your dear sister-cousin earned her master's degree.  I knew.  You left no doubt.

Go in peace Martha.  Trouble no more.  In the mighty name of Jesus I pray.

Fall!

I am up early this morning, the first day of Fall thanking and praising GOD for His infallible WORD.  GOD in His infinite wisdom created seasons.  He told US that there is a season, a time for all things.

I love the Fall, the cool crisp mornings, the Autumn leaves turning brown, orange, yellow and red.  Things are dying, going back to Mother Earth.  From their death we are assured of a beautiful Spring.  Look at the "signs".  Pay attention, learn from the lessons GOD sets before us.  Study His WORD.   I am asking you to "fall" today.  Fall into GOD's arms.  Trust Him with your life.  Let Him lead and guide you.

I have a fresh anointing this morning.  Every day that I live I realize more and more why GOD gave me this life.  I once called it tortured.  There were times that I agreed with others that it was wasted, lost.  No, my friends GOD has blessed me with a beautiful life. GOD has protected and guided me all the way.

I look back now and fully recognize and accept the fact that my own mother is a sick sadist, a brilliant sociopath.  A woman determined to do nothing but evil and get away with it.  GOD has no such plans.  I too was completely fooled and confused by her contradictory behavior.

It was only by the Grace of our loving GOD that He placed Jerome Walters in my life.  A man wise enough to follow the will and inclinations of his Christ like heart.  Granddaddy put me on the path of GOD's Almighty WORD at age eight.

Lonely, frightened, robbed, disillusioned, persecuted, I sought guidance in the only way I knew how.  Through prayer, supplication and GOD's mighty WORD.  GOD told me to look at her fruit, never mind her cunning deceitful spell.  Martha has a ready answer for every demonic deed.  She hides in the shadows laughing, too self assured, confident, that she has succeeded.  No mam! There will be no more days like that.  Not for me anyway.  Your time is up!

Study the scripture!  Don't be fooled by a title or a robe that a man or woman conceals their evil hatred in.  Jesus told us that we will be hated by ALL for His name's sake.  (Matthew 10:24)  I am hated!  I am hated by my own family.  Proud to abuse and use me for her sake.  Proud to disown and shun me for a demon.  I forgive you for you know not what you do.

How could you know that this woman is possessed with a very old demonic spirit?  How can you know that she plans to deliver you up to Satan?  You would know if you read and understood your Bible.  You would know if you read and understood  Matthew 10:34 - 40:
"Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth.   I did not come to bring peace but a sword.  For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be those of his own household.' He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.  And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.  And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.  He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.  He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent me."

GOD's WORD is clear.  You can't get around it.  What was once a mystery to me is very clear now.  Sick! Sick and perverted.  Talking "GOD" while practicing EVIL!  Beating and brutalizing everyone that noticed, that talked, that criticized, everyone that called you out.  Resorting to MURDER when you could not fool your father. Tired of his kind admonishments.  Raging with jealousy because he was loved and admired by everyone that knew him.  A thief, you were determined to steal his mantel, his good name.  No, Martha, you can't have have it!  You are unworthy!  You are a clown performing on Sundays to a bunch of hypocrites just as ignorant as you are.

 Relying on demonic hatred and witchcraft to have your way.  You've spent your entire life digging pits for others.  Setting traps, laughing and celebrating your "delicious deceit".  You are caught in your own web, your own net.  You are too entangled to ever get out.   GOD's Almighty Truth is the only thing that will get you out and you refuse to have any part of it.

 I refuse to be your coward, your dog any longer.  I will not hide and quiver in the shame you thrust upon me.  GOD gave me the courage to finally accept the awful truth about you.

GOD snatched your cloak off, opened my eyes.  He will open your eyes if you pray for the courage to see.  She took your courage, your manhood, your honesty.  She deliberately destroyed your morals, led you into captivity just so she could laugh.

She is the same sadist that smashed that puppy, stabbed that woman for calling her a whore.  She is the same woman that violated you sexually, screamed vulgar hateful insults at you every day.  She is the same woman so embroiled in her jealous hatred she can't love.  Refuses to learn, defiantly declares that she will never repent.

Jesus told us to come out from among them and I did.  For years and years she convinced me that she truly loved me.  Empty words.  No real mother would do the kinds of things she did.  A Terror!

I once thought I was lost, cursed, the most pitiful wretch on this earth.  I did question GOD.  Why me?  Why us?  I know now that it was truly a blessing.  If you can overcome a woman like Martha, you are a blessed child of GOD.

I over came.  I know!  I humbly thank GOD each and every day , all day for delivering me.  I pray that GOD will deliver my brothers, my family.  Give them the courage LORD.  Grant them Your vision.  In the mighty name of Jesus I pray.

I am not unusual. I am not alone.   I am Blessed!

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."  Fall into His arms today.  Trust GOD to catch you, to lift you up.  Dare to know GOD's Almighty TRUTH!

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster,( the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

"Jesus is the way ...

the Truth and the Life."  You can study all the great philosophers, put your stock and confidence in Allah, Buddha, Confucius, all the great enlightened thinkers of the world.  Their truth will lead you to the one and only true and living GOD.

True, GOD has the keys and you can't get in.  But, GOD gave you forgiveness, He gave you His Son.  You can stand at the door and knock or you can walk right in.  Walk in repenting with a contrite heart.  Confess your sins, seek redemption.

"Love ye one another as I have loved you."  You are not GOD or a god.  Who are you to crucify or seek revenge?  Who are you to maim and destroy everything in your path because you refuse to accept GOD's Holy Truth pretending your honey coated tongue spewing lies can change anything?  How dare you think your "dust" and evil cruelty intimidate GOD's anointed, His chosen few?

"Many are called, but few are chosen."  Why?  Because they chose to cling to the lying babble of this world.  They are ashamed of the Gospel of Christ.  They are ashamed of their deeds and continue to hide them with worse deeds.  The weak and the gullible would rather disbelieve the goodness of GOD.  They reuse to believe that they too were snared by the devil.  They would rather die wrong, die living a lie before they love and accept His Holiness and Righteousness.  Too weak and blind to admit that they have ever been wrong, lead astray.

Don't you dare think your "Amening" and "Praising the LORD" and fake memorized prayers and sermons hold any sway with GOD.  "Know ye the Truth!".  Be set free today.  "Look into your own life."  Don't pretend, don't deny, don't play crazy.  Ask GOD to forgive you.  Ask your victims to forgive you.  Apologize.  Say you are sorry.

GOD is waiting.  He is patient.  You didn't come here to stay always.  You've got to leave sometime.  Prepare for your departure.  Save some lives before you go.   Rectify some wrongs.  Clear up the confusion.  Don't approach your grave as a quarry slave.  March boldly to the cross, forgiven and unashamed.  Have no lies on your lips.  Don't have any guilt or hatred in your heart.

If you are saved, thank GOD for saving you.  If you want to be saved, to live holy, ask GOD to show you how.  Start by taking that evil secret hatred out of your heart.  "Know ye the Truth" and proclaim it.  Proclaim it every where you go.

Be abundantly blessed today.  Dare to love and give up fear.

"Live and Learn"

You approach your eighty-seventh birthday still ignorant, deaf, dumb and blind to your own faults.  Writhing in the same evil hatred and loathsome jealousy that has plagued you for your entire life.  A black cloud that has hovered over you, followed and menaced you, kept you from the life GOD intended.  A shameful secret that you cherish, (secretly) enjoyed since age thirteen.

You are a very small woman Martha.  In the eyes of GOD you are microscopic, a "piss ant".  I continue to admonish you and pray for you daily.  You are my cross.  I will not hate you.  I refuse to stoop to your level and wallow in that filth with you.  I can not love you.  You will not let me.

I refuse to fear you any longer.  GOD won't let me. "Fear NO Man (or Woman)!"  I will use your abominable wasted life to warn others of the dangers of rebelliousness and deceit.  I will preach GOD's WORD from this blog.

You deliberately tried to despicably ruin and utterly destroy every life you touched.  For those that still refuse to hear and see, I pray for you daily.  I forgive you for your blind stupidity and stagnating fear.   Trust GOD.  Give up your fear and shame.  Do not waste another minute waiting for your albatross to die.

How dare you refuse to believe GOD's Gospel truth!  She did things to us, all of us, her "loved ones", that make the devil cringe in repulsive shame.  A self styled "homemade witch",  a foolish woman that believes to this day that she successfully outwitted GOD.  "Though her sins be as scarlet" she thinks they are invisible to the naked eye.  The poor foolish woman firmly believes that her fake preaching and phony license have squared her with GOD.

She is a sociopath, a vicious bully.  She has no conscience, no love, not a care in the world.  She lives to make you grovel at her feet.  I refuse.  I don't have to.  I don't have to beg her for her trinkets.  I don't have to pretend her phony fawning is love.

Something inside me will not let me hold my peace.  I am jubilant, praising and thanking GOD for saving me from the most vicious despicable demon that ever escaped from the bowels of hell.

All of you can go down with her claiming to believe her lies.   Claiming that you love and trust her knowing full well that you don't.  I will not fear her "hoodoo".  And I don't need her fifty extra dollars.  I refuse to continue to let her malign me and set me up for a fall.  I will not share my goals and aspirations with her just so she can run ahead of me to plot my destruction.

Continue to call me a crazy drug addict, continue to shun me as she defiantly demands.  If you are too blind, too crippled with the grief she inflicted to pick yourself up and live without her permission...I feel sorry for.  I will always love all of you.  But, I will love you from afar.  I will not abide her, condone her tricks or try to live the broken pitiful life she tried so desperately to saddle me with.

I will not true a blind eye to her faults.  I will not cloak and lie for her as she demands.  Yes GOD will get her. He will take care of her in His own time and in His own way.

In the mean time I will live jubilant, praising GOD, rejoicing and thanking Him for delivering me from a sick succubus to stubborn to accept GOD as her savior.  A poor woman that truly believes that she got over, fooled the LORD Jesus Christ Himself.

I will not suffer fools.  I WILL LIVE FOR CHRIST!

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing." And "Your sins will find you out!"

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace.
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster, (The exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

"Tossed and driven.."

More than ever I now understand the words to that song.  My grandfather bragged; "My granddawthur.. she a school tea-CHA down in Atlanta!"  My mother would scream "You Ain't S***!"; away from prying eyes and ears.

That's Martha, always on the prowl, always on the sneak.  Pretending that she was sad, feigning confusion and disbelief.  "You got me wrong.  That's not in my character."  She always managed to deliver that line with the greatest conviction.  She could list all the reasons you had her wrong, say you miss judged her.  First of all you were too black.  Secondly, you were "no sense-ED.  Unable to think or judge correctly.  Thirdly, you were jealous of her beauty, brains and COLOR.

You're crazy!  You didn't see what you thought you saw.  If you could prove the event, if there was no doubt, you were living in the past.  There you go, "digging in the Archives."

"Let it Go! Forget it!  There is no way I'm admitting to it!  I will never tell YOU that I'm sorry.  (You better be glad that I didn't kill yo' sorry ***!  You lucky I let you live.  Stay out my bizness!)

"Tossed and driven".  A grandfather that proclaimed that I was his princess, the apple of his eye.  A jealous mother that tried to sell me into "whoredom".  Made sure that I was savagely raped and ruined as a little girl.  Every day I was a "luddle black heifa!", a nothing, a "piece of s***!".  A burden, too black to be loved.  Too dumb to be honored.  A pest, a whiner, a needy thing.  As I became older she taught my brothers that I was the low life sneaky snake.  That I was the back stabber.  That I was the one that could not be trusted.  That I was black as an Ace of spades and therefore did not deserve love or honor.

She and that jet black, red-eyed, pearly white teeth man were a team.   They were "raising their own p****!" I heard her say it many times.  I didn't know exactly what it meant then.  I somehow sensed that it meant doom for me.  I know fully what it means now.  I know what it means when GOD releases you over to a "reprobate mind".

We hid in the library at Fort Bragg.  Lucky for us there was always a library nearby.  We could hide there.  Read all the books, check a ton of them out.   I read every thing related to Liberal Arts.  My brother read everything science and math oriented.  We pretended that we just wanted to read.  I never could bring myself to believe that I was afraid to go home.  Nasty! Two carnal vultures!  She was the worse.  She was the ring leader.  It was a good thing that she was sneaky and had to play "holy roller".

I thank GOD every day for my big mouth.  I thank GOD my mother labeled me a a blabber mouthed snitching tattletale early in life.  What if she had believed that she could have depended on me to keep her awful secrets?

I am no longer "tossed and driven"!  I am Free!  I am proclaiming GOD's Goodness!  His Salvation!  His Love! His Joy!  His release from this awful pain and burden.

Praise the LORD!  HAAAAAAAAAALELUJAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Shouting Glad!"

"The truth will make you shouting glad or fighting mad."  I heard my grandfather tell my mother that often.  She never received those words well.  A wayward, stubborn, common woman she was determined to always have her way.  She was never going to be wrong, apologize or repent.

Martha never intended to get caught.  I don't think she ever thought it possible.  Too clever.  The fact is she believed her own spill, her own brags.  I must say Martha is a woman very much in "lust" with herself.  Well, she thinks it is love.  In actuality it is pure hate.

She is ashamed, full of self-loathing.  She should be ashamed.  What she does not know, never learned, hiding her sins only prolongs and perpetuates her deep shame.  Martha is a woman that could never say no to her hideous carnal urges.  Drawn like a moth to a flame, she always did the worse most despicable acts known to mankind.  Then lied and pretended it never happened.  Tell her it happened, criticize or quiz her in any way if you dare.  You will suffer mightily, verbally, physically, spiritually and psychologically.  You were destined to suffer no matter what.  Martha is an unhinged, undiagnosed sadistic sociopath.  Clever enough and mean enough to keep you busy licking your wounds.  She will hound and bludgeon you so much you will not have time to dare think about exposing her.  Plus, who is going to believe you?  No way!  "GOD is not going to let such a person exist on His earth!"; say the non-bible readers.

No she is not a good person.  Avoid such people.  "Shun the very presence of evil."  Oh, she knows full well that she is a hideous monster addicted to inflicting pain and shame.  She hates the truth and all truth tellers.  Given the slightest chance she will destroy you.

I must say that it did take me a very long time to accept the truth about Martha.  I always "knew", but I did not believe.   I could not help but know.  My "unbelief" stemmed from the fact that I didn't want to know such a horrible monster of a mother could exist.  I wanted to believe her lies. I was glad to bask in her fake love.

One day it occurred to me this demon is too evil.  Always foul and angry, very touchy and sensitive.  The slightest truth from you would send her into and awful tirade that could last for days.  She was never going to be wrong.  She was beautiful and perfect and you better tell her so often.  You must kiss her ***.  To love her is to fawn over her and shower her with gifts.  She molded us into that image, that brainless zombie from infancy.

"Don't you tell!  Don't you n****** tell'ah muthaf******** thang dat go on in dis house!"  In Martha's mind people not knowing made it alright.  Do any and everything you want.  Play a role, praise GOD a thousand times a day and people will really believe that you are religious.  Hate GOD in your heart but proclaim Him out of your foul mouth.  Say sweet things, the absolute opposite of what you really mean.  N***** are too dumb.   They will never catch on.  "There is no GOD!"  But play these fools for their stupidity and gullibility. You are the Queen.  You say what's what.  If you find any objectors, lie on them, smear their name.  Grease the palm of your minions.  They can be bought for fifty dollars or a Coach bag.  Pretend, pretend, pretend to the very end.  You are a clever brilliant actress.  Get an old woman's prayer and memorize it.  These dummies will never know the difference.  You're too smart.  No one will ever catch you.  Yea, you killed that "talkin'" daddy of yours.  Always going on about the Bible and Jesus and s***.  He was a pain in the absolute ***.  He wudden die!  I gave him plenty of time.  84 YEARS! That was long enough.  Besides I said all those good things about him in his obituary. Damn!  What more does the world want from me!?  What does GOD want?  I peach don't I?  I deliver good gullible souls to Him.  No, I can't be bothered wid dat s*** mysef.  It's too hard.  GAWD's rules are too hard.   Sides who gon' believe I'm really as evil as I am.  S***! I don't even believe it myself."

Surviving Martha certainly has been a test.  I would have lost many times without the LORD Jesus Christ on my side.  Without the wisdom of Jerome Walters to guide me.  I must say that I am truly "Shoutin' glad" this morning.

Remember; "Know ye the truth and the truth will set you free!"  Stay in His WORD children And remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

"GAWD don't won't no fence straddlers!"

"He don't want no do-gooders from 'leban to seben" on Sunday.  GAWD don't want yo' phony prayers, yo' put on, to be seen of man.

If yo' heart ain't right...git it right!  Do it! and do it right ni!

GAWD tied of foolin' wid you.  He been puttin' up wid yo' mess long enuf.  Well, I really can't say if GAWD is tied, but I sho' am.  You done tried every trick in duh book.  You have tried by "hook or crook".  You have tried "goofer dust" and "lucky hands".  You have tried the weegee board and tarot cards.  You went to Madame Swanee and Doctur John.  You done visited and spent all yo' money on two-headed docturs  trying to circumvent GAWD.

You prayed false prayers and searched the "Lost Book of Moses".  You are determined that you gon' win when you know in yo' heart you can't.  You lost!  You lost in duh wilderness.  You lost deep in sin.  Hi a luddle piss ant of a human gon' fight Almighty GAWD?  GAWD made dis wurld.  You didn't!  You ain't got nuttin' tuh do wid it!  You thank cause you done got old you got ova'?

Who did you git ova' on? Who did you fool?  Dem dat you made foolish?  Dem dat you ruined?  Dem dats jest as blind and foolish as you?  I know dey shame.  Dey shame that dey let you fool um for so long.  But, its alright chullun.  It's alright!  GAWD still loves you.  He love all of you!  He sent a man.  He sent His son from Galilee to free you, to save you, to lift you up!  He sunt dat luddle gal to tell you.

He kept hur heart right.  Her kept hur mind right.  Don'cha dawg Hiz chile!  Don't you tell nar'nuther lie on hur!

If you can't live right...if you won't live right...git on way from GAWD's throne.  Don'cha lead nar'nuther one of GAWD's chullun astray. If you can't live right...won't live right, can't luv duh LAWD...stay way from His Church.  Stay way from GAWD's people.

You jest go on tuh hell by yo'sef...go whur you wanna be.  Stop trying to take eva'body witch'cha.  Stop blocking blessings and GAWD's Holy WORD."

(I'm jest hangin' 'round GAWD's throne...waitin' on y'all.  Waitin' on you to remember what I always taught you.  "Jesus will fix it!"
JR Walters)

Be careful who you listen to.  Be careful of the church you attend.  "Watch as well as pray."  A true man of GOD does not have to have formal degrees from seminaries.  You don't have to be well spoken and highly educated to hear from GOD or to speak His WORD.  Don't let fine raiment and smooth soft words fool you.  Do look at their fruit.  Listen carefully and look behind their words.

Ask GOD to lead and guide you, in Jesus' name I pray.

"A Great Getting Up Morning!"

Every day that you get up with the activity of your limbs, in your "right mind", should be a "Great Getting Up Morning!"  Get up with praise on your lips and love in your heart.  Get up singing, praising and glorifying the LORD!

Thank GOD for making a way out of "no way", for delivering you from evil.  Fall down on your knees every morning thanking, praising your Father in Heaven.  If you can not think of a prayer, if the words escape your lips and mind, simply repeat  "The LORD"s Prayer".  Don't you move, don't you leave your house until you pray.

I humbly thank GOD today.  I thank Him for saving me, sparing me.  I thank Him for making me His vessel, His mouth piece.  I thank Him for planting His laws, His goodness in my heart.  I thank Him for removing the hatred, the shame and degradation.  I thank Him for waking me up in my right mind.

I am sold out for Christ.  I have a beautiful testimony and I am going to tell it!  I know that GOD will right every wrong.  He will lead and guide you in the right direction.  He will open doors.  He will put the right people in your path.

If you are living below GOD's standard, His vision for your life, you are no truly living, you are merely existing.  If you are ashamed, living in fear, why?  If you are a person  of little or weak faith, why?  If Jesus is on your lips and not embedded deep in your heart, why?

You must ask GOD to come into your heart.  You must pray for courage and understanding.  Let go of fear.  Let go of lies.  Come to the Cross!  Drag all of your burdens and leave them there.  GOD did not bring one person to this earth to suffer.  Christ suffered for us.  He gave up His life for us.   Stay in His WORD and trust Him.

Don't believe that lie that you can  be too "religious", too "Christ like".  GOD has a plan.  You are either for Him or against Him.

I have a prayer today.  I am praying for all of the fallen, all of the wounded.  I am praying for all of His children still suffering, still believing that lie that they are forsaken.  I am praying for everyone afraid to accept GOD's truth.  I am praying for my brothers, all of my "loved ones", I am praying for all the people that believe that lie from Lucifer that "you have to go along to get along".  I am praying for everyone that believes they have to turn a blind eye to wrong doing.  Pretend and feign because a Jezebel Spirit cloaked in a robe and hiding behind a license to preach is sincere, is loving and caring.

You don't have to continue to live a lie because you always have.  You don't have to hide mental illness, serious psychosis, torture, brutality and confusion because that was the life you inherited, because that was the life you were born into.

You were never forsaken.  You are not unworthy.  The devil can not win.  You are strong.  You are not too weak, too blind, to see and know GOD's Truth.

I don't know why I was born into maddening evil, entangled and strangled from birth.  I don't know why my mother gave me away and when forced to retrieve me from a whore house set out on a plan to utterly destroy me.  I know it happened.  I know that GOD placed Jerome Walters in my path to save me.  I will not shut up and keep the sickest evil a secret to protect her.

I know the Truth!  I know GOD saved me.  I know that GOD is still in the saving business.  GOD told us that if you dig a pit for others, you better dig two.  I don't know why my mother has lived and extremely long life full of debauchery, evil and sadistic brutality.  I know that she is a terrorist.  I know that she is a liar, a "root worker", a conjurer, depending on the stupidity, blindness and weakness of her victims.

I know that she has to get up every morning trying to think of another lie, of another trick or scheme to hide her deplorable life.  I know that she demands to be honored and revered.  I know that she is selfish and uncaring.  I know that she wants to drag the whole world into the hell she created.

GOD will not let a man's good name be dishonored.  No matter how vicious and threatening, no matter how horrible the truth is, you must know it.  When I look back on the truth, when I reflect on the deeds committed against my family by my own mother I cringe.  I know that it takes strength to read my blog.  It takes courage to know my awful truth.  I know that GOD will not let me hold my peace.  Martha is not the only such woman in the world.  There are many men and women that are afflicted with a demon.  A demon that they won't shake.  There are men and women on this earth proud to destroy, maim and crucify.

These people are false prophets, ravenous wolves in sheep's clothing.  You can not say that Jesus did not warn us.  You have His WORD.  Read it , study it, plant it in your heart.  I know that they will not get away. If you let them get away, if you honor them out of habit, you are just as guilty.

I know that we will all have to give an account to GOD one day.  We will all have to answer for the lives we lived on this earth.  On that day you will not be able to say; "I was afraid LORD.  She held me hostage.  LORD, you told me to honor my mother."

GOD will remind you; "I told you to fear no man."

"We walk by faith and not by sight."  No man or woman can fool us, intimidate or terrorize us if we trust GOD.

Pray!  Pray for your deliverance.  Pray for the deliverance of mankind.  Pray that Martha will finally hear and understand.  Pray that she will confess and come to repentance.  Pray that her mind will mature in Christ.  Dear LORD! remove all the veils.  Open all the ears and eyes.  Save us Dear LORD is my prayer in Christ's name.  Amen!

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

Never take GOD's blessings for granted

Look up sometime and thank GOD for His many blessings.  We are all created equal, equal in the eyes of the LORD.  He loves us all unconditionally.  But, we do not have the same gifts, talents or understanding.

If you are able to love, to love honestly and purely,  that truly is a gift from GOD. Cherish that gift and appreciate it.  Some people can not love or will not love.  There are people on this earth writhing with hatred and sick jealousy.  Pray for those people because they are miserable.

When you can't love GOD,  when you have no charity or human compassion you are living below GOD's standard.  When the best you can do is offer some artificial love.  When your love is all in your mouth, soft honey coated words that you don't mean.  When the best you can do is compliment and pretend, you need prayer.

I will not hate my mother because she lost her way.  I will not hide her and cloak for her as she insists.  She is a child locked in an elderly woman's body.  She would not listen.  I have watched her, observed her closely for sixty-one years.  I know she is miserable.  I am not fooled by her grandiose antics, her braggadocios behavior.

I know that my mother is still that little eight year old girl that was viciously raped.  Her life stopped there.  Frozen mentally, a frightened terrorized little girl doing what she thinks she must to survive.  She has no trust, another victim of very weak faith.

Because she is a little girl she wants everything she sees.  Still an immature infant she wants everything shiny and new.  She can't love, she can't trust.  A hardheaded injured miscreant she turned to witchcraft and her own devises to get what she wanted.  She is a sexual deviant.  Can that be blamed on the fact that she was horribly violated at such a young age? Perhaps.

Why can't she trust?  Why can't she love the LORD in spirit and in truth?  I don't know, but GOD knows.  I know she always hated me.  Hated me in her womb.  I have never known her to love anyone sincerely.  I know she knows better.  Her stealth "demonism" proves she knows better.

Some how Martha got it twisted.  Some how she became convinced that she could do the worse things imaginable and simply tell a grand lie or have a tremendous tantrum and that act would be erased, not counted against her.

I do believe that she thinks her "preaching" pleases GOD.  I am convinced that is why she became and ordained minister after she MURDERED her own father.   I know that we were terrorized , brutalized children.  I know that not one single day went by when she was not up to some sick scheme to make us hurt, to make us suffer.  I forgive her.  I pray for her.  I used to think that I suffered, that I lived in misery.  I now know that she suffered far more than I ever could.

Nothing, no event, no person has ever caused me to not love.  I have always been loving, kind and forgiving.
Being a loving kind person doesn't make you stupid or blind.  Martha was always frustrated with my ability to think for myself.  She did try to lure me into her sickness, her carnal "activities".  GOD blessed with the sense to know better.  I was three, four and five and the alarms went off in my head.  I am sure I escaped some of her worst deeds because she knew I would tell.

Plagued by her carnal demonic nature, "they" finally violated me when I was eight years old.  I wasn't that drunk Martha.  Your scheme failed.  What kept me silent so long?  Was it fear? shame? No, it was unbelief. To this day I can't believe a woman such as you can exist.

Most people still refuse to believe me.  Some like Martha can't care, can't love.  No, you have not murdered physically.  But have you murdered in your heart?  Have you hardened your heart?  Are you selfish and uncaring?  Are you going about your beautiful blessed life caring only for yourself and your immediate family?  What do you do for others, for GOD?  What are you doing to help the "helpless"?

 I know that many people refuse to believe that the Martha they know is anything but kind and loving.  I have no reason to lie.

It is with great pride and honor I proclaim my victory.  I am so proud and honored to know that GOD's Grace and Mercy have kept me, delivered me and given me a voice.

If you can love your fellow man for real,  if you can love GOD and serve Him in sincerity and truth, thank GOD.  What ever you do, have no fear of mortal man.  If a demon posing as your mother defiled you, ruined your life pretending to love you, call her out.  Do not suffer to protect an aberration that is unworthy of any kindness you can offer.

That horrible degrading act she lured you into was not your fault.  Trust GOD! He will never leave you or fail you.   I've told.  The world knows.  Wake up! You don't have to protect her.  She can't cast her guilt and shame on you.  Look at her and see her for what she is, a hideous monster, a MURDERER, a psychotic pedophile, a LIAR and a thief.

GOD promised me, He promised us ; "when your mother and father forsake you, I will take you up."  The LORD lifted me, took me up out of that sick misery.  Thank you LORD for your deliverance and tender mercies.

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

"You can't hide from GOD ...

there ain't no point in your trying.  You can't wear GOD down either.  You will make your loved ones weary. But, not GOD.  The LORD has a time table that we can't understand.  His ways are mysterious.  Now dey ain't no need of you trying to match wits with GOD.  You look like a fool chile.  You look stupid. No...I'm not calling you stupid.  You ain't nevah been stupid...but,  you sho' is ignut.

You been in this world all this time trying to prove that you jest as smart as GOD.  You think you the only one that every thought mixing conjure and the Gospel was a sure fire plan?  You not the furst to think they too smart to get caught.  You not the furst to think; "Well I got away wid it all dis time...GOD ain't lookin'...He don't care."

Yes GOD cares baby.  GOD cares a whole heap.  Don't let dese people that you done fooled and led astray give you mo' confidence dan you oughta' have.  Don't you dare think "talking GOD" is the same as living fa' GOD or loving Him.

Furst off... stop right there!  Stop dead in yo' tracks!  Hi you gon' call yo'sef' a chile of GOD hating eva'body you know 'cause you  can't have yo' way?  Hi you think destroying eva'thang you think is bedder dan you, smarter than you, prettier than you gon' elavate you?

You sef'ish chile, just plain sef'ish and greedy.  You too greedy...don't care 'bout nobody...nevah did...nevah will.  Dat's yo' cross to bear.

I jest dropped by to tell you 'bout GOD's plan.  Yea, He got a plan chile.  If you stopped long enough to listen tuh one of your own sermons you would know dat.  Ni dat you done made a complete disgusting mess of yo' life, you can still come to Christ.  Don't get mad 'cause people talking 'bout you.  You been mad a long long time.  Get mad 'bout the sin.  Get mad wid the devil .  Get mad wid yo'sef!

You can't bury your fruit.  You can't hide it.  Ain't no point in you calling dat gal a liar.  Dey all know.  Eva'body know 'bout you.  I hope you notice dey gettin' less and less scared.  Some mo' of 'um gone come out and tell you 'bout yo'sef.  Some mo' of'um gone come out from amoung'um.

Yea you sho' messed up ...  secretly hating and back stabbing yo own chullun', yo' own family.  You messed up jest looking out fa' yo'sef'.  Ni, you shame to come to Christ.  You still ignut... worring 'bout what people gon' say.  The truf is you didn't have as many people fooled  as you thought you had.  They jest like being entertained. Jest like you, like to see people headed the wrong way, messing up dey lives.  A lot of people feel the same way 'bout you. Dey is a lot people glad to see you on yo' way to hell.  There are people that don't eva' want you to wake up and come to Christ.  You ain't the only one blocking blessings.  Dey a heap of folks that will tell you wrong...way fo' they will tell you right.  Some will say that you got  gall and gumption.  I'd say you lost yo' way and lost you mind in the process.  People calling you a preacha, don't make you a preacha.  It don't make you acceptable in GOD's sight.  Some just wanted to see you up 'dere just so they could talk about you, laugh at'cha'.  Yea, some sho' had a good time talkin' bout the nerve you had calling yo'sef a preacha.

I got to go ni.  I'm jest hanging 'round heaven all day.  I sho' wish you wud give yo' life to Christ.  Do it fa' real. You know GOD loves you and He sho' understand.

I sho' hope to see you in heaven one day.

Love, you daddy, JR Walters "

*For some reason I channel my grandfather.  We were very close.  So close we finished each other's sentences.  My grandfather never had any hatred in his heart for anyone.  He never hated my mother or my "stepfather".  He loved the LORD.  He taught me by precept and example.  My mother hates me because I know the truth.   It is an awful truth.  She is a very wicked common woman.  My research has taught me that these narcissistic pedophiles project their deeds and character flaws onto others.

True, I suffered mightily for a very long time. I never could understand why she said so many terrible things about me.  Accused me of being a lesbian, of being a "sneaky snake".  Now I know that she was talking about herself, projecting her awful sickness onto me.

 But, make sure that you know that GOD was always with me, leading and guiding me every step of the way.  I will not be ashamed of my pain.  I am no longer mystified by her foul deeds.  I was crucified, led astray, bludgeoned and betrayed by my own "mother".  But. GOD SAVED ME!  He picked me up, brushed me off, cleaned me up.  Now all I want to do is testify about the goodness of GOD.  He saved me, He'll save you.   That woman heaped nothing but shame on me.  Now she has to bear the shame that she wrought.

  I will not be ashamed because my own mother was low and common enough to violate and torture me.  GOD saved me, protected me.  Revealed all of her greedy corrupt schemes.  GOD turned every foul thing she did to me into as mighty blessing.  Praise the LORD!

I don't hear from her much any more.  GOD will make your enemies scatter.  He will shut their lying mouths. She may be lost but she is not forsaken.  She can't hide.  Adam and Eve tried to hide their nakedness with fig leaves.  When they heard GOD coming they tried to hide from Him in His Garden. You can't hide Martha.  All eyes are upon you.   Just like you taught me; "GOD sits high and He looks low."

You can't hide from GOD children.  GOD knows your every thought.  He knows the number of hairs on your head.  Don't you ever be fool enough to think you can fool GOD.  Don't you ever think you can trade your "good deeds" for you bad deeds.  Don't think children are stupid.  Some children can remember.  No, they are innocent and helpless.  You may think you can put your hands on them.  You may think that you got away with your evil.  You better think again.

If you want to be loved and admired, you better do the right thing.   If you want honor, earn it.

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)