Kal Ho Na Ho - Heartbeat Instrumental!

Where would I be without a keen sense of hearing? Lost? Devastated? Miserable?

Music is truly medicine for the soul. The powerful healing properties of music and prayer are very underrated in our world. Few know. Most just  stop at the beat, enjoy sweet melodies  momentarily,  then move on to more mischief.

Luckily for me my "mother" loved music. She could not sing or dance but,  she loved music. She was "tardy on the vittles". Yes, she hated feeding us. Made a point of clarifying that point every day with her brag; ""I keep you black muthafuckers ass holes open!"

"My LORD from Zion!"  I heard  that daily, witnessed things I shall never tell and still didn't know what great danger I was truly in.

If you know , like I know, you will keep away from the "Church". The "Church" let my "mother" preach for over fifty years, thirty plus under ORDINATION!

Wo/Man! You can NOT preach And practice WITCHCRAFT!  What kind of foolish imp are you, you dumb slut!

World, the type of evil my mother carried, practiced, and  perpetuated is extremely EXACERBATING   because it was so unnecessary. Martha raged with jealousy and hatred. Why? S/he was the "right color". S/he had long "straight" hair.  S/he was extremely intelligent compared to most. S/he kept money? What was her issue?

I asked GOD , what made my "mother" so unhappy, why was s/he so full of rage ? Why was s/he so perverted? Cunning? Sneaky? Manipulative? Could it be because she felt forced to deny her "sexuality"? Was my "mother" angry, raging against GOD's commandment against "homosexuality"?

Did my "mother" secretly hate GOD for forcing her to hide her true self? Did the "Church" force self-hatred on my "mother"?

One thing I know, she believed that bullshit about Ham, and Hagar's children. She definitely taught us that all people of color are cursed and immoral. S/he always supported the Klan and every racist agenda.  Yes, my own "mother" was secretly anti-black and an anti-mother. My "mother" did not mother to nurture, that slut nurtured to destroy!

My "mother" did believe that s/he was better than any and all people darker than she was. While my mother did hate dark skin people, s/he rarely let on.  She cleverly covered her revulsion for darker skin by pretending she feared germs.

My mother was a riot sitting on her "throne" in the pulpit, faking holiness , while constantly slathering hand sanitizer on her hands,  clear up to her elbows.

Skin is skin , you rotten slut! You were just putting on because you wanted to "dis-remember", "dis-connect" from your horrid past. I am sure there was not one day you looked at any of us and failed to re-call something horrid and unspeakable you had done.

You re-called it and enjoyed it, savored it,  you stanking sadistic slut!

Martha! Martha! Martha! You always ran from your accuser with daggers in your eyes, with vows to extract retribution , simply for being accused. Notice, never any investigation, never any question as to why your guilty ass was being accused.

Not only that, no concern for anyone's healing. Just a hateful , horrid scream of ; "Weeeeellllllll! I didn't do it! Fuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkkkkkk You!!!!!"

No dumb bitch, you were never that retarded. It was a good act, a good ploy. You knew better. The fact that you had "sense enough" to live the horrid life you deliberately lived for eighty-seven years, while most of your many victims were  "pre-deceasing " you daily,  is not a testament to your brilliance. No, you did not out smart GOD.

GOD told me to ""Endure to the end."

No, you did not defeat or destroy me! Yes, you pissed me the fuck off! But, in so doing,  I learned a lot.   You sullied the "Church". No real Christ Loving church would dare let a cretin like you in. No, real true Christ Lovers can ever support men like tRump or wo/men like you.

No true Christ Lover fears a dead demon like you or a multi billionaire white male supremacists .

It is just a matter of time. While dumb, lustful, carnal ignorant imps like you have caused me incalculable grief, I'M NOT YOU! 

Nothing in me would ever permit me to commit the cruel acts you did over and over for eighty-seven years. Is there a Heaven or Hell? I don't know but, I do know where ever your dead ass is,  rotting, you are rotting,  knowing full well you died and unrepentant , sneaky, low life viper .


"Get thee behind me satan! I never knew you."


"COME YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"


"REVERSE THE CURSE!"