Tolerated!

To be tolerated is about as good as being dead. When you are tolerated you are to be seen and not heard. You are deemed and idiot before you speak. It is painful but there is no drug for it, no pain killer.

I am fifty-nine years old and tolerated.

'Let her come around but include her out. Say yea,yea repeatedly when she says something. Make sure she gets the sorriest cheapest gifts at Christmas time if you give her anything.'

'Punish her! She should not have been born. She was not planned. Her daddy left me. She is just another black a** nigger! She is nothing. Forget her. Ignore her. No, she is good for something. Use the little black bastard for your sexual pleasure. God doesn't care. If God cared he would not have made her so dark. She is a whimp anyway. She never defends her meely mouth self. Ain't nobody gon believe her no way. I don't know what she trying to get so much education for, little cunt.'

'No she didn't! She is so stupid bragging to me about how she made the highest score on the test. She think she is going to be Fayetteville's first black paralegal. Dat dumb nigga think she gon work with Richie Smith the city attorney. She don't know that I know him. She don't know that I have freaked with him. I can stop that with one little phone call and I did.' (followed by a heidious blood curdling laugh)

'She thought that she was going to get that call to be the first black anchor in Greensboro. She will never get that call. I am so smart I will blame it all on racism. Ha-ha-ha-! They will never catch me, dumb a** niggers.'

'They don't know me I was manufacturing and selling lip reducing cream when I was sixteen years old! I am a genius, no one is smarter than me. And I can act. Brilliant. They will never catch me because they will never suspect me because I am going to put on a robe and climb up in the pulpit and scream and hollar. Dumb a** niggers don't know the difference.'

'Now that I am well past old I will play up my "mental illness". That's right I will just play crazy and my weak a** sons will give me a pass. I don't care nuttin' bout that luddle black cunt. Always running off at the mouth.'

'Lord let me get up from here and go to church. I got to do the morning prayer. I am going to read it because I can't keep this Jesus crap in my head.'

'I can do it! I can do anything I want to do because I always have. I am light bright and damn near white and I am brilliant and charming and you can't catch me. If you catch me in a lie I will blame it on you. As a matter of fact I am going to get you way before you get me. I am going to tell everyone that you are nothing but a drug addict. I am going to whin and sound so pitiful every body is going to love me and hate you.'

'Yea I killed my daddy. The old a** nigger wouldn't die! I got tried of waiting. He was already eighty-four years old. That enough life for anybody! S*** people in his family live all up in their nineties, s*** he had a cousin that lived to be 107! I was sick of that nigga always up in my business, always quoting the Bible. Yea I killed de nigga. Shot him dead through the heart. I couldn't shot him in the head. He was old but he was still pretty. I had a handsome daddy.'

'Well here I am Lord. You know that I am never going to confess. I show ain't gon repent. Let the niggers suffer, serves them right for being so stupid. I still got my "roots" and I am going to "root" all of them until the day I die cause I'm smart and you can't catch me.'

And God said to me "Trust in God with all thine heart and lean not to your own understanding."

To readers of this blog. It is what it is, "Know ye the TRUTH..."

Get a Bible children and study it every day. Search the scripture.

Be Blessed and be a blessing. "Hold yourself up much as you can."

Much LOve, Peace, and Happiness,
Rachel