"Daz Hur!!! Daz Hur yo honor! She de one dat dun it! She de one dat led aluz astray. Dat's hur right dere, sitting at de defense table. I wud know hur any whur wid dem double decker wigs and Fashion Fair makeup."
All the testimonies were the same. Sister Full Bosom, Miss Hockheel, Miss Mouf-run-lak-gooose-s*** by the moon light, all swore on the Bible that Madame Monkeyfoot had led them astray.
Madame Monkeyfoot's defense attorney was Brother Two-faced-wuden-know-de-truf-if-it- knocked-him-up-side-de-head half listened to their statements. He knew Madame Monkeyfoot was as guilty as she could be. He just wanted to get paid, but he wanted to put up what looked like a good defense because he didn't want to take a chance on this root working heifer putting dust on him.
The Prosecutor, Mr.Perfect-ain't-nevah-ben-caught called everyone in China Grove to the witness stand.
It was hot in that courtroom. The air conditioner was not working. No one really cared what Madame Monkeyfoot did. She had been doing it her whole life, for about a hundred years and hadn't nobody cared before.
It seems that the word had gotten out that the LORD was on His way back. People had to get ready. People had to tighten up. People had to correct their game, have someone to blame.
The Afro-Holiness-Footwashing-Metho-Bapto-Can't-be-no-boring-Catholic Church decided that Madame Monkeyfoot was the source of everything that had gone wrong in China Grove.
It wasn't looking good for Sister Monkeyfoot. She got tired of her phony smile and trying to look innocent under scrunity of the hot television lights. Oh yea China Grove went big time. "Time to join the 21st century" everyone said.
There were even protestors, a motley crew with signs marched up and down the street. One sign said "Kill Her!". The people were really mad. The people were feed up.
Things were looking real bad for Madame Monkeyfoot until Brother Two-faced thought of the best possible defense. "Catch dem in a lie! Discredit dem !"
Brother Two-faced cleared his throat and said "Judge yo honor I wud lak to call my wife Mrs. Two-faced to the stand!"
***This is a work in progress and will be published in installments.
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