"Be what you are ...

live your life, look up and see your maker." was a favorite song of one of  my mother's husbands, supposedly stepfather.  I never called him father or dad.  I called him Doster.  I did not like him.  Actually I hated him.  He was nasty.  He would "touch" you, lock you in the bathroom room with him and force you to watch him do things.   He was a freak.

It is understandable.  My mother was a bigger freak than he was.  Two buzzard perverts found each other decades before the Internet.  Both dumb superstitious imps.  Both hung up on "color" and "looking the part".

Both attended church every Sunday!  Served GOD with their faithful attendance.  I know now that Mathy just wanted some where to park her big fine new car, to show off.  To prove to the world that SHE didn't have to listen, that she could be wayward and still win.

Mathy was bent on disrespecting GOD.  (GAWD saddled me wid 'dese black ***** chullun!  I'll sho' Him!  Imma do eva'thng I kin tuh 'dese luddle black ******* and I AM GOING TO GIT AWAY 'CAUSE I PHONY PREACH!)

That is that "ravenous wolf in sheep's clothing" Jesus warned us about.  satan in a dress! A bouffant wig! Fine robes!  Robes of every color, every style, like SHE was the Pope!

Entertaining, hollering, putting on a floor show, never meaning ONE word!  GOD said No!  (Are you really that stupid? that disrespectful?  that thickheaded? that stiff necked?)

GOD said No!

If you can't bow down now (imps of satan) you are lost for ever!  It is Free Will!  It is your choice.  I choose GOD!  He has never failed me.  When I was being beaten and raped like a dog GOD never failed me!  When you lied on ME! Traded your sorry reprobate life for mine!  for granddaddy's,  GOD never failed me!

 I was tortured far beyond human endurance by a sick abomination from the lowest bowels of hell!  Yet I thrived! Retired after 30 successful years of brilliant teaching! Raised, nurtured, produced a "great person",  a positive, brilliant, talented, intellectual, a graduate of Boston University.   A fine young person that I DEMAND sATAN TO KEEP hIS FILTHY HANDS OFF OF!!!

 GOD turned every bit of this tragedy, my modern day nightmarish fairytale,  around in my favor!  Gave me the courage to tell the most repulsive testimony,  to people,  too weak to handle hearing it (though they must).

GOD SAVED ME!!! PICKED ME UP!  PRAISE THE LORD!