I will not steal my grandfather's anointing. I will echo his voice. I will learn from his human mistakes, from my many mistakes. I know there is a wealth of knowledge in my own personal misunderstanding. I will garner much needed knowled from my "mis-education". I refuse to hide it. I celebrate the fact that I have changed! Grown! Matured. I did avoid many pitfalls , all due to GOD's Divine intervention and my innate inclination to heed the wisdom of Jerome Walters. I am sure witnessing the reprobate life of my own dear mother was a blessing in disguise.
I will shun evil. I will forgive and I will NOT forget. I refuse to hold people to a double standard. I will not be the first to cast a stone. My greatest pain and heartache with Martha is that I know for a fact she enjoyed (or at least thought she did) every foul deed she claimed she got away with. Every secret slap or stab, every "one shoe" she threw away, every bath cloth she wiped her behind in. Every "man" she "stole" from me, every lie she told, planted and nurtured.
Discovering Mathy's sick misery did not come too late. It came right on time. I passed the test. I DID NOT GIVE UP THE RIGHT FOR THE WRONG! That woman was a nasty beast with more nerve than a brass monkey. She lived by the sword, she died by the sword.
I can still hear that primitive carnal squeal she let out every time the poor delusional ignorant woman thought she was winning. I can still see her clapping those huge man hands, eyes red as coals, glowing, celebrating her great "conjure".
Go down on those graves seeking power, if you want to, you are going to end up a Mathy Jane. GOD is going to leave you "neither root nor branch!" You will become SOMETHING TOO ASHAMED TO REPENT!
I will NOT give up the right for the wrong. I will not suffer degradation, humiliation and lack, attempting to protect the good name of a woman that did not earn it. I will not cloak for a woman that was an ABOMINATION to GOD!
Yes, I will tell! I will warn! And most importantly, I will heal. The adversary can NOT saddle me with any more pain. I refuse it! I came in this world alone, and I will leave alone. "From dust we came, and to dust we shall
return"
Forced to find solace in my "banishment", in my ostracism, forced to create my own woman cave for protection from PREDATORS IN MY OWN FAMILY! I found Joy!
My own mother was a "stank whore" of the highest magnitude! But, she was such a clever, cunning Jezebel whore , we were forbidden to ever acknowledge it in any way! This woman did everything known and unknown to mankind, while posing as a PREACHER! as a loving nurturing mother, a good daughter, a good sister, aunt, cousin, friend, mentor, pastor ….ALL HOG WASH!!!
Worse than being a lying hypocrite, SHE WAS A MURDERING WITCH! A CONJURER! A SOOTHE SAYER! GOD said No!!!
The "aloneness" Mathy and other predators have forced me into , is comfortable, actually joyous. I've grown to love and cherish it. PRAISE THE LORD!
Do pray for patience children, for understanding. Pray for GOD to lead and guide you. Pray for the indwelling of The Holy Spirit. Otherwise you will do wrong. The adversary will blind you, make you delusional. Make you "dis" your mother on Mother's Day in the name of practicality.
Do not ever give anyone permission to hurt you. "Be as wise as a serpent but as gentle as a dove." "Mark that man" or woman. Jesus is just reminding us to pay attention. Do forgive them. But, do know what you are dealing with.
Do not join forces with the adversary because he appears to be winning. You are looking with your human eyes. You are guilty of leaning to your own understanding. You will fail.
At 87 Mathy was still dissatisfied, still angry , still lying and worse of all, still unrepentant.
GOD said No!
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