Prayers going up!Otis Redding-Rock Me Baby

Dear LORD I beseech You the best I know how. I am hurting. I am in some serious pain,  as I attempt to heal myself from the awful gutting my own mother slayed me with me.

More than my own mother being a horrid whore , I occupy a world where nobody cares.  My fellow victims try to pretend they have no idea of the pain , the anguish, the humiliation I suffered, they suffered, we suffered.  Yes, they do pretend that she didn't slay them too.

I can't do it! I won't do it! If you refuse me comfort, solace, words of pity, of encouragement,  because MY story embarrasses you, makes you uncomfortable, because you too secretly hate me.  Because you too suffer with self-hatred, envy, jealousy.  Because you are also very glad to see me suffer, I no longer need or want you in my life.

Like that "thing" I married.  He hurried to do the wrong thing to me, to say the wrong thing. He knew what he was doing. He wanted out just as much as I did. "Good riddance!"

I would go and pray over that spirit of envy, of coveting. Please do not pretend to be too good a "Christian" to love me, to care about me. I'm NOT talking about ME! I'm concerned with the children of TODAY!

 I would fast. I would seek some kind of understanding.  Why did my mother go to "Church" every single Sunday for eighty-seven years?  Was she trying to fool us? To fool GOD? Did she ever  feel guilty?  Was all that "Church" going and Bible quoting designed to keep me off her back?

The fact Martha was able to hide, suppress, disguise her incredible evil for so long, is a testament to Christ.  Proof  of [HIS]  Greatness!  Evidence of  Grace Unseen!

REVERSE THE CURSE!

"COME YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"