Wo/man #1: Let me just hurry up and tell you. You be careful...ain't nuttin'but some vipers and varments out'cher!
Wo/man #2: Yea chile I messed 'round and married on'dem varments, tuh. I still want tuh kill duh'sorry muthafucker! The sorriest muthafucker that eva' shit between two shoes!
Wo/man #1: You mean the sorriest muthafucker wid a swinging dick!
Wo/man #2: Any way, dis bitch lack'tuh made me go tuh duh penitenchy!
Wo/man #1: Why?
Wo/man #2: Why? Why my ass! The low life muthafucker wuz ugh CLOSET FAG!
Wo/man #1: Well, why you murry him den?
Wo/man #2: Gul, I thought GAWD sunt him.
Wo/man #1: Why you 'blive dat?
Wo/man #2: 'Cause he said he wuz ugh CHRISTIAN! The bitch had me up early eva'Sunday running tuh church, giving, serving. Yea, he wuz on duh Ursh-er board till they voted on wearing white shoes. He thought he was tuh dapper, tuh so-fist-ticated tuh wure white shoes in duh winna'.
Wo/man #1: So, why ain't you know? Did-den yall have sex.? ...you wuz both ova' thud-dee.
Wo/man #2: No...we wuz spossed to be waitin' 'till we got murred...but one night...we smoked some weed and the shit happened. Don't get me wrong, that was my plan from duh jump.
Wo/man #1: Well, whut went wrong?
Wo/man #2: EXTREME MISTREATMENT! ABUSE! The bitch started painting his toenails! Wrapping hiz housecoat 'round hiz ass,... Switching like RuPaul!
Wo/man #1: Dat's whut did it?
Wo/man #2: No! Furst duh nasty, lazy , piece of shit started steppin' out his draws, LEAVE'UM! Leaving hiz nasty draws on duh flo!
Wo/man #1: Who he leaving dem 'fo?
Wo/man #2: Me I rekcon...we didn't hab no maid and that bitch didn't do nuttin' towards cleanliness after he murried me. The bitch act lak I was a cow, a black heffa or ssumpin unner hiz feets, Celie from "The Color Purple"!
Wo/man #1: Is dat why you started hating him? Plotting to take hiz fucking , sorry, wurf-less life?
Wo/man #2: No! Sad, dat ain't eben duh reason. THE LOW LIFE COMMON BITCH TREATED MY BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS BODY LIKE A FUCKING URINAL! The common ass, no mus-sil having , sof-ass-yalla sissy said I WAS TOO FAT!!!
Bitch! I just had a BABY! You common piece of shit! Who duh fuck do you think want yo' sorry, ignorant, no-fuckin', no-job having ass? Bitch, you need mo'dan color to keep me!
Hoe! Sorry ass excuse fo' ugh homemade gigalo! I didn't want no money! I wanted to cuddle. To be called "Mrs". I wanted a family, children. I know I wuz thurs-tee when I met you. But, NIGGA! Ain't no excuse 'fo nobody to be as ignut as yo' ignut, hostile, angry, miserable ass! Fuck you Bitch!
Forgive you my ass! You bedder hope ah don't eva'lay eyes on yo'sorry ass again. See, if I kill you nigh, even if they give me life, I win!
No mam-nus nigga!
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Be very careful of what you pray for. I prayed for a husband. "My GOD from Zion!" Yes LORD! I learned a lesson. I learned Christianity, the Church , are the best tools for evil doers, ever created. I learned to TRUST NO WO/MAN!
Father, I thank You for being so good down through the years. I thank You for leading and guiding me every step of my way. Thank You for removing my blinders, standing me up, keeping me up. Yes LORD, I thank You for everything!
BEAMING!!! IT IS ALL IN DIVINE ORDER!
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