"I Know It Sounds Weird"

I know it sounds weird. But, that is exactly what I did. I survived a serial murderer. I don't know the exact number of victims that she murdered. I know it was a lot.

Why all that bragging about killing? "Yea, I flushed five of dem muthaf******!"
I remember the first time I heard you make that boast. We were in your huge kitchen, 825 Dwain Drive. You were entertaining your white friend*Janice Ketting.

I took it to mean that you were an independent thinker. I thought you were rebelling against the white male chauvinist that controlled and oppressed women. I thought that it meant that you were bold and brutally honest.

I also knew that it meant that no one better ever f*** with you. I didn't plan to. I steered clear of you, always. Keep you pig nasty filthy house clean! You ain't said nothing but a word. I was your dutiful slave. I kept all of your name brand expensive clothes hung up. For some reason you relished announcing your arrival from work. You always called at four p.m. on the dot; "Gwen! Is that house standing tall!?"

Terrified, I stammered;"Yes, mother." That was our daily ritual. Every day of the week, except Saturday and Sunday of course. I hated Saturdays, all Saturdays. We all did. We hated Saturdays because we knew that that b**** would be home. Home to harass and terrorize us. To cuss us and torment us. "Home" to make our little lives a living hell.

I know now why you behaved that way. Self-hatred, self-loathing. You were sneaky and low life and foul. All you sick demented deeds were chocking you, mocking you. You were miserable and demanded that every one that loved you suffer a worse fate.

You knew that you were nothing but a lying slut, weak and powerless to your Sodom and Gomorrah lust. You denied it, but you knew it happened over and over again.

You missed the mark, you missed salvation because you refused to come clean. You refused to come boldly to the throne of Grace. You tried to scam GOD like you did all of your tricks.

You've got to feel bad. Wrong and miserable for eighty-five years! Did GOD let you live so long just to mock you? Just to demonstrate to the world how perfect His WORD is?

Well you look just like what you are, a fool, an imp for the devil. Hating and attempting to destroy every person on this earth that made you look bad. Any and every person that looked better, spoke better, had more education, more money, more love, more charity.

You have deep contempt for your fellow man Mathy Jane. You can't play GOD, pointing out every one else's flaw. Who are you to decide who gets what based on how well they treat you?

You know that you deserve ill treatment. You know that you should be shunned. You know that you are a lying sneaky snake. You can't even trust yourself. You have betrayed yourself for eighty-five years.

I don't know why you could not be the woman that you pretended to be. Every day GOD helps me to hate you a little less. Every day I understand why people need to hear GOD's real WORD preached from the housetops.

Study your Bible children. Trust GOD to "Work a Work" in your life. Be richly blessed. Remember, "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel