"SHUT UP!!!"

Could those two words be the cause of my loquaciousness ?  I think so …that and the fact that my own mother was a "talkaholic".  My mother never "shut up".   She talked in her sleep.  The very unfortunate truth about her incessant babbling, she was often lying.  If she wasn't lying she was flattering you to disguise her hatred and jealousy .  She was buttering you up to take you down.

It is time for this world to quit lying and making every woman that delivers a baby some kind of saint, the Virgin Mother Mary.  The fact is, an immoral, unprincipled , corrupt woman will be an immoral, unprincipled , corrupt mother.

I do blame the man.  Man, if you are a real man, do not impregnate a woman you would not marry.  A woman you do not trust, do not want.  And most importantly, if you do in fact impregnate a hideous whore like my mother, see about that child.  GOD does not excuse you because the mother is a low whore.

Why were you with a low whore in the first place?   What does that say about you?  True,  my mother did end up marrying a pervert, a man with equally low morals.  That should not be.   I am sure GOD cried when those two buzzards found each other.

No matter.  GOD was there, is here, has never left me and never will.

I must marvel at my mother's tenacity.  She never tired of her wickedness.  AND SHE WAS GOOD!  I never would have known.  I would have remained clueless without the sudden return of my long lost brother.  He was gone, some where in the wind,  for twenty-five years.  I was blind, deaf and dumb.  I get it now, can see it clearly with 20/20 hindsight.  As a matter of fact I should have known.  I should have known,  if that had been in GOD's Divine Order.

I find it scandalous that my mother got away with her evil for so long.  I find it offensive to GOD that we assigned her evil to Him.  We did not  blame Him but, for some reason she taught us, the world taught us, that she had to be tolerated.  Not only tolerated,forgiven without acknowledging her sin but,  kept secret.  "Tell and die!"  and I do mean die!  She stabbed a woman once for calling her a whore.  Funny, she was a whore.  She was whoring on her first husband that was blind.  I have to laugh.  I bet that woman never called another woman a whore.

Why? Because she preached?  Please do not offer her lame excuses, her color, her ignorant parents, racist white people.

"Take your licks."  If you do wrong, quickly admit it.  Admit what you did wrong, where you went wrong.

I saved up my grief.  I refused to be soft around my mother.  I refused to cry because she told me ;"Duh mo' you cry …duh less you piss!".  I became harden, stoic. I guess I was waiting to exhale.

 My mother was an extremely evil sociopath.  Worse she was unrecognized, unrepentant, unpunished.  She was a wretch, a saboteur, a pathological liar, a witch, a root worker THAT PREACHED!

Do not hold your tears in hoping for a different outcome.  Jesus told us to know our truth.  The truth is not easy when it is truth like mine , ours, held by a complete reprobate.

My mother made me think my tears meant that I was weak.  I was already black, blind, short and defective.  I wasn't as smart as she was, although she thought I was pretty intelligent.  I was lucky.  But

No matter,  it is true.  satan can NOT Win!  GOD is not about to let some piss ant like my mother come here and block anyone's blessings. GOD is NOT about to let some MURDERING reprobate win because she got away wither deep dark sins for so long.  It is just a matter of time.  "Time changes all things".

 I do pray for my brilliant talented brothers.  All handsome men that would have made very good husbands and very good fathers to some very good women.

 "Love never fails."

Become Christ like.  "Let GOD fight your battles."

PTL!

I press on   ...