I got up this morning feeling great!

Got up this morning with some pep in my step, some glide in my stride but , most importantly with a much greater understanding of what my birth mother did to me and why. It is very simple, she was a reprobate, a true total reprobate . Did she turn reprobate or was she born one?   The scripture warns us that GOD will release us over to a reprobate mind for low morals.  In other words if you are common , selfish, lying, envious , jealous, scheming, GOD will release you, take (HIS) hands off of you and let satan have his way.

That is sure what happened to my birth mother. First vicious assaults on her younger brother, then crushing the puppy.  She told me she was brutally raped at age eight , three times by the same man.  Martha may have had sex at eight years old, knowing what I know about that demon spirit that enslaved her for EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS  I am not at all sure she was indeed raped.

For what ever reason Martha Jane Walters became one horrid person.  Do know I read ravenously, read every liberal arts book in the library.   Why? Hiding out from her perverted husband. Truly,  acquiring so much knowledge at a young age was a benefit.

I am so delighted, so humbled. GOD spoke to me, sent me back to my mother after nine years of no contact.  She was delighted, no apologies, no remorse and straight way plunged her big foot straight up my ass again. I  became nothing again, a broke ass nigger bitch that couldn't get or keep a man again.

Little did I know this stinking devious delusional whore was "rooting" me.  So, I go back in 1997 and here comes my long lost medical doctor brother in 2005.  Man, the missing pieces of the puzzle fell neatly into place.

No wonder my handsome brother did not date, did not dance, was weird, mean, cruel.  What that low whore did to that boy was scripted by satan himself! No wonder she refused to repent,   ran from that sin.  No, wonder he refuses to reveal.  Remains hidden in a hole trying to protect his mother.  A woman that never loved him, used him for a sex toy, beat him brutally and savagely for his first twelve years of his unwanted little black bastard life. Loved him and hated him. Loved and hated us, kept us confused.

That is some horrifying shame few have the courage to face.  LORD, I'm laughing, few can stand to hear what we lived.   That poor boy is suffering in some serious anguish.  Dear LORD touch my brother's heart with a finger of love.  Let him know he is not the mongrel his birthmother was.

I was her slave again, one of her flying monkeys again.  I had to listen to her song again; "You can't win for the fix you're in, I can't lose for the stuff I use."

Woman, oh woman, thank you for living such a repulsive life, for the extreme cruelty you always inflicted upon me.  Woman you made me search for the WORD! 

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

PTL!