You stupid, stupid woman. It was never your clever stealth "voodoo" that kept your dark secrets. It was love. Pure love, love unfeigned, innocence, God's natural plan. GOD commanded us to love one another. You haven't been discovered by many because they are still blinded by your charm. They still want to love you desperately. They still need you. The message; "Your enemies shall be of your own household" is still a Biblical mystery to them.
We went to church every Sunday. We prayed together, cried together and on many occasions helped each other. How could I know? No, your words rarely fit your actions, but how could I know? Always professing your great love, always lauding on the compliments. One son became Dr. *Sam The Black Prince. I became Miss Gwen. Our talents were proclaimed. I didn't know you envied and hated us at the same time.
I am fifty-nine years old and you have never given me a birthday present in my entire life. You gave me the same thing every year, a song and some long detailed story of my birth. "You were born in St.Phillips Medical Hospital. June 4TH, 1951, oh you hurt. I hollered so ...but you were the prettiest little baby I ever saw. You were yalla chile! You even had freckles. But you had dese luddle black ass ears. Dey said you wuz gonna turn black and you sho did...within six months you were as black as a crow. Ya damn daddy nevah did any thing for you..." Ya-dah, ya-dah, on and on. No mother, it was you. You are the one that never did anything for me but try to hurt me. You are the one that misused me and crushed me. You are the one that hurt me over and over. I do forgive you and I will not hate you.
I grew up watching you work "roots" on people. Never did it occur to me that you would work "roots" on us, try to destroy us.
Poor MJ, you are nothing more than a slave. An ignorant primitive slave, left over from the antebellum period. How did your mentality survive the Emancipation Proclamation? the 13TH amendment, THE CIVIL RIGHTS STRUGGLE! You always brag about how you hate Martin Luther Coon. You even bought and paid for a Klan record (45rpm) ridiculing him.
How did you slip through time? Some people dismiss the Willie Lynch Letter as a nonsensical fabrication, but your actions prove its authenticity and it's prophetic pronouncements.
Not only are you a genuine slave, the perfect house nigger, you are a succubus, a demon without focus, a rampaging demon without a plan.
Yea, you messed up. You messed up bad, but you were too beautiful, too brilliant to ever be wrong.
What did you think when you tricked your father out of tuition money for Virginia Union? What did you think when you turned down a full scholarship to Shaw University because you said you didn't want to be no damn nurse. How did you feel years later when you ended up at Womack Army Hospital emptying bedpans for minimum wage as a nurse's aid?
I can tell you how you felt. You felt rotten. Most of all you felt jealous. Too full of pride to ever admit that you were wrong you launched head first into a campaign of destruction. Maim, lacerate, lead astray, but ultimately destroy all that is good. Of course you should do this you told yourself. After all it was your ignorant ass parent's fault. Those two dumb ass niggers taught you to be honest. They didn't tell you where babies came from. Your daddy was running a juke joint and made you get pregnant at sixteen. Black ass niggers were jealous of you, always telling damn lies on you. The white man was racist and keeping you down. You could have been somebody if GOD hadn't saddled you with all of them black ass younguns. The fact that one could pass for white was his luck. When he complained that you never did anything for him you hit him with; "I gave you color nigga! Do sump'um wid dat!" If you are really that ignorant you are hopeless.
You are hopeless, you are lost, you can't even hear the words you preach.
I can not help you and I am tired of trying. I am telling my story to help heal others like me. Children of demons, children of sick demented ignorant parents that try to hold down their entire family so that they can remain number one, remain on top of their little ant hill.
There is no denying. The evidence against you is indisputable. Your son was the first black doctor on prestigious Owen Drive, you destroyed his practice and ran him out of town. You spread malicious lies and scandalized his good name.
Your other talented son is a brilliant musician. You tricked him out of college, sabotaged his band. You ruined that boy. You, his own mother call him a hopeless alcoholic,a sorry no count drunk. You never tell anyone how you beat and abused him from infancy. You never tell that you are ashamed to admit that he is an outside child. You were whoring while married and got pregnant by your outside man.
I do believe that you reserved your greatest cruelty for me. I thank you. I thank you for every lash, for every stab, for every lie. GOD knew what I needed and He knows what I don't need and I don't need you.
I don't need you to mail me anymore poison pen letters smeared in your fecal matter. I don't need you turning me in to the IRS or narcing on me to the government for student loans. You've destroyed my name within the family. I don't care. People that would believe you should not be in my life.
I know that you are not ashamed or embarrassed. It is far beyond your scope of understanding. Granddaddy always pitied your extreme ignorance. There is no magic pill that you can take. "You are going out of the world backwards like you did when you first came here."
May GOD bless you. May you not die raging with hatred and alone. May you come to some understanding of your hideous rebellious life.
Children the lesson learned here is that you can't play with GOD. There is no compromising. Let your yea be yea and your nay be nay. If you are double minded trying to serve GOD and man, go no further. Change. Study your Bible. Do not ride your Bible in the back window of your car to fool people. Don't invest thousands of dollars in gold crosses to front and play the role of a sanctified Christian. Acknowledge Truth when you hear it. If you make a mistake or commit a sin be quick to repent.
Be a Blessing and be blessed. "Keep yourself up much as you can."
Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
THANK YOU LORD!!!
Good Morning World! I am so excited! I am so blessed! I thank GOD for my journey! I thank GOD for my testimony. HALLELUJAH!!!PRAISE THE LORD!!! I feel gooooood! church! Let the church say Amen" I feel hold my mule while I shout good!
Thank you Jesus for your miraculous delivery! Thank you for your revelation.
See, first of all I am somebody! I am a child of the King of Kings.
I was beaten down children. I was laid low!
Pull up a chair and let me tell you about it.
The first thing you've got to know is that The Bible is real! Every prophetic Word is true and I am living proof.
"Fear them not, there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed and hid that shall not be known." (Matthew 10:26)
It is no joke. Scoffers beware.
My mother is a violent, sadistic, narcissist. She was a very beautiful woman, she is brilliant and talented, but she is a demon.
I have a story to tell. I have a testimony. My life reads better than any psychological thriller.
My mother, MJ was born in 1925 to a (black) married couple. Jerome and Rachel had a wedding. You must put this in the correct historical context. This indicates that they had class. My mother would often share tales of how my grandfather "courted" my grandmother. The fact that she was born in wedlock is central to my life. The number of times that she bragged; "My mama and daddy wuz married!" can not be calculated.
My grandfather was a very wise gentleman, a sage, a pillar in the community. He had a large farm, sixty-five acres of land. He was totally self sufficient and debt free. He loved his children and he loved family. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.
My grandfather was a true Christian man. He loved the Lord and he taught me to do the same. He was in covenant with GOD. His wayward fourteen year old daughter became accursed and tried her best to destroy his good name. She will not succeed.
I am still piecing this horrible puzzle together. My mother was the only girl. I am sure she was the apple of her father's eye. I am assuming by the stories I heard that her brown skin mother must have been very color struck. Her mother doted on her and inadvertently created a narcissistic demon.
I have verbal clues and hard evidence.
"I nevah had to do nothing! I never had to wash a pair of socks until I was eighteen years old. My mother didn't want me to learn, said she didn't want me to be a washer woman like hur."
My entire life hangs on that one admission. At fifty-nine I can clearly see that she made it her life's mission to make sure I never enjoyed the love and blessings that she had. While she was not allowed to do housework or wash clothes I was put in a straight chair, on my knees, propped up against the sink and forced to wash dishes at five years old. My hands were so tiny that the large slippery plates would just slide out of my little hands and crash onto the floor. I soon learned how to develop a much tighter grip. She beat me miserably. "Fa every f****** plate you break, fa every f***** glass I am going to beat the f****** dog s**** out of you nigga! You black muthaf***** nigga! You ain't s**** You luddle black heifah!"
It's kind'a funny. Out of all the horrible names she called me "luddle black heifah" hurt the most. At five years old I did not know what a heifer was. I knew that I didn't like the sound of it.
Not only did she have me washing dishes I had to wash s**** baby diapers. Her baby's nasty diapers. She taught me well. I learned how to unroll the diaper in the toilet and slosh it around in the toilet bowl with my bare hands. I had to slosh and flush at the same time . When all of the fecal matter had disappeared, when the diaper was white again I had to wring it out and put it in the diaper bucket. For every diaper that I let slip, that got away from me and flushed down the toilet she beat me unmercifully again. As disgusting as that was, nothing prepared me for what was to come. Her little sex games with her husband. I guess they didn't have any sex toys in 1956.
There must be at least a thousand more terrible incidents that I suffered at her hands over the course of my life. It is all in my book.
I have a message! I have a cross to bear. I will save little children. I will expose pedophiles.
Children please hear! "FEAR NO MAN"
Do not cower in silence because you do not want to be embarrassed. Do not hide because you are ashamed. Love and trust The Living LORD! He will open doors that no man can close.
Work out you own salvation. Study your Bible. Pray for the indwelling of His Holy Spirit.
Be a Blessing and be blessed. "Keep yourself up much as you can."
Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel
Thank you Jesus for your miraculous delivery! Thank you for your revelation.
See, first of all I am somebody! I am a child of the King of Kings.
I was beaten down children. I was laid low!
Pull up a chair and let me tell you about it.
The first thing you've got to know is that The Bible is real! Every prophetic Word is true and I am living proof.
"Fear them not, there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed and hid that shall not be known." (Matthew 10:26)
It is no joke. Scoffers beware.
My mother is a violent, sadistic, narcissist. She was a very beautiful woman, she is brilliant and talented, but she is a demon.
I have a story to tell. I have a testimony. My life reads better than any psychological thriller.
My mother, MJ was born in 1925 to a (black) married couple. Jerome and Rachel had a wedding. You must put this in the correct historical context. This indicates that they had class. My mother would often share tales of how my grandfather "courted" my grandmother. The fact that she was born in wedlock is central to my life. The number of times that she bragged; "My mama and daddy wuz married!" can not be calculated.
My grandfather was a very wise gentleman, a sage, a pillar in the community. He had a large farm, sixty-five acres of land. He was totally self sufficient and debt free. He loved his children and he loved family. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.
My grandfather was a true Christian man. He loved the Lord and he taught me to do the same. He was in covenant with GOD. His wayward fourteen year old daughter became accursed and tried her best to destroy his good name. She will not succeed.
I am still piecing this horrible puzzle together. My mother was the only girl. I am sure she was the apple of her father's eye. I am assuming by the stories I heard that her brown skin mother must have been very color struck. Her mother doted on her and inadvertently created a narcissistic demon.
I have verbal clues and hard evidence.
"I nevah had to do nothing! I never had to wash a pair of socks until I was eighteen years old. My mother didn't want me to learn, said she didn't want me to be a washer woman like hur."
My entire life hangs on that one admission. At fifty-nine I can clearly see that she made it her life's mission to make sure I never enjoyed the love and blessings that she had. While she was not allowed to do housework or wash clothes I was put in a straight chair, on my knees, propped up against the sink and forced to wash dishes at five years old. My hands were so tiny that the large slippery plates would just slide out of my little hands and crash onto the floor. I soon learned how to develop a much tighter grip. She beat me miserably. "Fa every f****** plate you break, fa every f***** glass I am going to beat the f****** dog s**** out of you nigga! You black muthaf***** nigga! You ain't s**** You luddle black heifah!"
It's kind'a funny. Out of all the horrible names she called me "luddle black heifah" hurt the most. At five years old I did not know what a heifer was. I knew that I didn't like the sound of it.
Not only did she have me washing dishes I had to wash s**** baby diapers. Her baby's nasty diapers. She taught me well. I learned how to unroll the diaper in the toilet and slosh it around in the toilet bowl with my bare hands. I had to slosh and flush at the same time . When all of the fecal matter had disappeared, when the diaper was white again I had to wring it out and put it in the diaper bucket. For every diaper that I let slip, that got away from me and flushed down the toilet she beat me unmercifully again. As disgusting as that was, nothing prepared me for what was to come. Her little sex games with her husband. I guess they didn't have any sex toys in 1956.
There must be at least a thousand more terrible incidents that I suffered at her hands over the course of my life. It is all in my book.
I have a message! I have a cross to bear. I will save little children. I will expose pedophiles.
Children please hear! "FEAR NO MAN"
Do not cower in silence because you do not want to be embarrassed. Do not hide because you are ashamed. Love and trust The Living LORD! He will open doors that no man can close.
Work out you own salvation. Study your Bible. Pray for the indwelling of His Holy Spirit.
Be a Blessing and be blessed. "Keep yourself up much as you can."
Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel
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