"Fret not thyself because of evil doers

My birth mother lived EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS  and never once repented or apologized for ANYTHING! SHE MURDERED HER OWN FATHER AND NEVER SO MUCH AS UTTERED EXCUSE ME!

I am in fact an EMPATH , I can feel the excruciating pain of others.  Believe me, it is no gift.  I can also perceive, discern deep hatred and jealousy.  My birth mother had the deepest, sickest, vilest hatred for me since my conception.  I felt it, always felt it. It was indeed a dagger in my heart that she would walk by and twist sometimes in secret, sometimes in plain view.   Of course she always denied it.  It was a problem.  Martha was a full fledged REPROBATE!  Her sins were never to be denied her.  She could do it because SHE was in charge of us, owned us, we were her property.  Yes, Martha was one sick human being.

Martha was NEVER  happy.  Perhaps that is why she always pretended to be happy, to be rich, to be powerful, to be a god.  No, not even a goddess, Martha was a god that hated GOD, challenged GOD, fully intended to defeat GOD because she was always winning.

Well, Martha always thought she was winning.  Turns out she was losing all the time.  This whole trump Presidency reminds me of Jesus and satan. satan took Jesus up to a high mountain top, showed him the entire world and promised it to Jesus if (HE) would just bow down and serve him.  Jesus answered that "Man does NOT, can NOT live by bread alone."

Jesus told us to trust (HIM), not to lean to our own understanding. People refusing to see this mad man building up his war machine don't need to see.  We all need to prepare to perish.

"Come ye out from among them."

I shall never forget that day.

To this very day my stomach turns a flip every time I recall this event.   I am still in awe, astounded, out done, mesmerized.

I was very young, around nineteen I think.  Our cousin Rachel was making her yearly visit with her husband.  The Walters family used to be close.  All one had to do was call and need.  We teased our mother, calling her house the "Do drop in".

Any way for some particular reason, old Rachel was being old Rachel and reached up on top of the refrigerator to retrieve a snack.  I casually reminded her that those snacks were not for every one, that they belonged to my little brother, for his lunch,  on his summer job.

Rachel responded flippantly that she didn't care whose snack it was, she was eating it.  Now, pay close attention, this is the part that will curl your hair.  Suddenly I was cussing cousin Rachel out!  I mean low, gutter swearing!  Wait, suddenly I had a huge butcher knife in my hand, up to cousin Rachel's throat.

Of course cousin Rachel left immediately, never came back.  I was left trembling trying to understand what just happened to me, to us.  I ran into my mother's room horrified, embarrassed, confused. Mathy Jane is laughing, declaring she was just testing a new batch of her "dust".

"Yea, I sprinkled some in Rachel's suitcase! It sho' worked!"  (Then the bitch clapped her demonic hands and squealed like a pig.)   My mind was blown. I felt violated, used.  I was no more good to that side of the family.  How could I even begin to explain my behavior ? "Oh, by the way please excuse me, my mother was working her "roots" through me." Ridiculous, I cut my losses and let them think what they wished.

Please do not declare there is no such thing as demon possession, WITCHCRAFT, demon possessed pastors that preach.  Keeping them secret, cloaked, will not protect you.  Plus, your scars are obvious.  We must out them! Reveal them!  Stand against them!

Trust and Obey!

Old nasty woman!

Old nasty woman if you don't want to be an old nasty woman, you change for real, you don't pretend!  You don't put on a clown show preaching just because you can.

You smear GOD's Name ! You tarnish (HIS) image.  Plus, how can you stand yourself? You are like the person that pours on cheap perfume to cover their unwashed funk.  Woman! You were nasty!  I don't know how you could stand yourself.  No wonder you were always  pretending  to contemplate suicide.

Do you know I have found organizations devoted to healing from your kind? I've found many books devoted to malignant narcissists. No, there is no cure.  I do think imprisonment is an excellent solution.

No, people should not be  dumb enough or weak enough to fall for your bullshit over and over or imps should not be so brilliant or imps should not target their own family members.  Hell, Bernie Madroff enriched his family.

You kept all your money for yourself Mathy Jane!  That makes you one sorry slut! Bitch! You were so dumb you just wanted to be the "top of the bottom". How miserable!

The fact that you were black does concern me.  You sure support the stereotype of black people being immoral imps.  I know it is not color, it is ISAIAH  49:15!  You sure forgot who we were!  You sure never showed anyone any compassion and Almighty GOD is sure dealing with you.

LORD have mercy Jesus! That explains why I caught my own mother looking at me like I was a T-bone steak and she was a hound dog. I was thirteen and I'm still freaked out.

"Come Jesus!"

Sam Cooke Bring It On Home to Me lyrics

Yes, Dear LORD I do hurt for and feel for the woman left, abandoned with the unwanted children.  Children the result of hot carnal lust.  Babies brought into the world by deceit.  Yes, I care about them.

No, I do not agree that , that fallen woman gets to punish those children.  No, man or woman should be allowed to get away with their carnal filth because they are bold enough to preach. Yes, GOD does tell us to come boldly to the Throne of Grace.  Come washed! Come clean! Come full of repentance!

You can't sweep your filth under the rug.  Back up, go back to WITCHCRAFT!!! What kind of damn fool were you? FOR EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS!  Did you have some form of Down Syndrome?

What did you get!? You drove a Cadillac! So! A Cadillac is a car.  A car you could not take with you.  People called you pastor, minister, reverend , so?  People also called you Madam Watson, Sister Rico and I'm sure many other alias.

A lot of people, the majority being wrong,  will never make wrong right.  Yes, Jesus is fixing this.  For some reason I do think you thought you got away, escaped.  The truth is some evil people need to be dead and buried before you can successfully reveal them.  People like you and J. Edgar Hoover.

It's scary ...

I can not get away from it.  "It is what it is." My birth mother was certainly mentioned in Isaiah 49:15.  She sure forgot we were ever her children.  She certainly never had any compassion for any of us.

I still can't believe how she demanded to get away.  "Don't nun of you black muthafuckers FUCKING Think back!"   Seriously? Really? Sure that worked when I was three! Martha no one can keep up such a horrid life for EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS!  Just when had you planned to change? To repent?  Did you really think it easier to threaten and terrorize , manipulate, confuse, gaslight, your accusers, your admonishers?

How long was I supposed to let imps like you stop me by claiming the color of my skin was too repulsive, too black ?   Ridiculous!  Your tired feeble fake ass is just jealous!  Know this imps, everything you did to me GOD miraculously turned around in my favor.  So keep on!

Be a nasty whore if you want to.  Brag about selling pussy then run to the church teaching Sunday school and PREACHING!  Just disrespect GOD the exact same way you did your daddy! Be blind! Never see your mistakes.  Be WHORISH!  Test the limits! Sexually molest small children, teenage children, your own flesh.  Go ahead!  You will be long since dead before the world catches up to you but, YOU WILL BE KNOWN!

No, your name will rot.  Some dogs may even unearth your rotting bones because you were too stiff necked, too arrogant, too ignorant, too SELF WILLED  to listen to the voice of the LORD!

"If you live by the sword ...

you are sure going to die by the sword.  For whatever reason I have been consumed with grief, purely tormented finally admitting my own mother played me for SIXTY-TWO YEARS!  The bitch just terrorized me for her personal pleasure, me along with every other human being that she could successfully con.

The saddest fact is, if she had not been such a two-faced , lying gossip I never would have caught on.  If I had been treated normally, nurtured, respected, loved, I am sure I would have never bothered to read the Bible.  Why?  We all must admit, our pain, our torture, our fear and diseases bring us closer to GOD.

For that reason alone I do thank GOD daily for my Mathy Jane Experience.  But, I asking, I'm praying that you heal my broken spirit  LORD, do it now LORD!

Praise the LORD!

Shhhhhhhhhh! Be quiet, don't never tell nobody!

What kind of advice is that? That is the advice of a pedophile, an incestuous FUCKING FREAK!  A low whore trying to plot her way off of the planet without facing consequences.  It can't be done. Martha always declared that she didn't care what people thought.  What she meant to say was, she was going to do what the fuck she pleased, exactly when and how she pleased.

What pleased Martha? Making an absolute fool out of the same people over and over for EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS! EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS OF GETTING HER PURE ASS KISSED! OBEYED! NEVER QUESTIONED! NEVER CRITICIZED! 

 Martha Jane Walters, my birth mother lived in a very strange place, in her mind, in her imagination.  The problem was, Martha's mind was an evil place.  First of all it was built on pathological lies, volunteer lies for no reason.  And Martha's jealousy was unreal, out of balance.  No joy for anyone.  Martha was a vicious sadistic bully.  I'm sorry,  when your small child bludgeons a puppy to death, get them some help.  Don't hide that.  Speak on it! Teach on it! Far too many preachers are slipping because they are just greedy dogs.

Why go to church if you are not learning? not growing?  I know for a fact my mother hated her congregation.  They were all too black and too dumb.  She hated hugging and handshaking with a passion.

No,  my mother did not like black or dark skinned people. I'm laughing because she was more racist than  the greatest racist and she was black, or assigned to the black race. We may blame color but,  we all know it is is character, morals, understanding, level of intelligence.

Good Christians seek to understand, imps seek to distort, disrupt, create chaos.  One good thing about it, evil can't last forever.  It is All in Divine Order!

PTL!