Nina Simone - Tomorrow Is My Turn (live)

Dear LORD, I thank you for sending me this song.  It is perfect.  I so appreciate the opportunity to hear it, to live it.

I know I'm not the only person to have a terribly psychotic mother.  Mental illness is madness that should not be tolerated.  I certainly understand why Martha was allowed to exist.  I just don't want her to proliferate.  Yes, I want her exposed but I know I can't make people listen or even care.

I just hate wrong doing.  I hate cruelty.  I am sixty-five years old still terrorized, still haunted by my own mother's atrocious acts.  Yes, "acts".  That bitch knew better.  No one can hide filth like that without fully recognizing what a succubus she was.

When I think about her ravenous sexual appetite , I know my own mother was a Man!  I swear to GOD , I bet she had a "dick".  How many woman could be so masculine, a female rapist?  "Well, did you ever!?"

It is spiritual.  "We wrestle not with flesh and blood. "  It is spiritual warfare in high places.  With "minorities", people relegated to the bottom of society, it is jealousy, that Cain spirit.  We are the worse, literally "crabs in a barrel".

My own mother, my own brother , brothers would rather hurt me that lift a finger to help me.  That is slave mentality.  That is the "Willie Lynch Letter",   that was my mother.  The low slut never did one thing positive to help me but gleefully  stalked me for sixty-two years trying to destroy me because her dumb ass was delusional. 

No, no sorry "root working"  pathological lying preacher is preaching over me.  Not and I know it.  No, you can't be both.  No "Christian" works Witchcraft.  My brother (brothers)  works Witchcraft.  He can keep his ignorant ass exactly where he is.

If he is a zombie, that bitch's bitch, it is his own fault.  I can't wait for their dumb asses to catch on.  "My mother was an ordained minister!"  Nigga! If  I have to convince you the woman that deliberately ruined your life never loved you, you are a waste of time.

"Cast not your pearls before swine." 

It is a strange feeling ...

for once in my life I feel safe. She's dead! The evil invisible monster is finally dead!  No one would help me fight her, expose her.  My fellow victims all too terrified to even give me an "amen".  If anything,  some of them got in the way, preferring their own miserable wretchedness to this awful truth.

Oh, I get it brothers. I do so get it .  But,  how you can twist such twisted thinking around and count her as a"loving mother" is beyond me.  You know she should have been lynched.  Where is good "mob mentality" when you need it?

The first time we were taken  down into  a graveyard at midnight Child Protective Services should have rescued us.  The sight of the first burn, bruise, laceration, evidence of sexual molestation, Martha should have been dealt with,  not tolerated.  We should not have been hushed, silenced, made to feel it was our fault.  How can an innocent child be held responsible for the savage, primitive ignorance of their mother?  The woman was COMMON! NASTY! Hushing us just helped that low slut!

I get it.  When you are too low, too common as a human being to be approached.  When your victims would rather suffer in shame than admit you are what you are, you just suffer and wait on death, lying and denying.

Well I won't! Fuck that bitch! Nasty ass muthafucker! What woman ***** her own children?  That is no woman, that is a SUCCUBUS FOR sATAN, posing as a woman, as a mother, as a daughter!

"Come ye out from among them."

Look!

I didn't ask to come here! I have met nothing but ignorant resistance and hatred since I've been here.  I know Almighty GOD had a reason for assigning me to the likes of Martha.  A fallen woman so low, so common, she was ashamed to admit the awful common acts she committed repeatedly.

Yes, Martha, I so get it and I fully understand why you were always too ashamed to come to the Throne of Grace.  Incest! Pedophilia! Murder! WITCHCRAFT! Fake preaching.  Yes, I see why you rejected GOD.

How did you fall so low in the first place? Lying! Martha you were a PATHOLOGICAL LIAR! Worse, you ran around screaming; "GAWD SAID WUDDEN NO LIARS TARRY IN HIZ SIGHT!"  Hours upon hours of that daily brainwashing worked on me.

The Word says a reprobate's feet are swift to run to mischief.  That was certainly you Martha.  When given the the opportunity to betray, backstab, sabotage, ruin, humiliate you could not resist.

I am so glad GOD gave us (HIS) Son, Jesus!  A Book we can refer to and most of all I thank Almighty GOD for my grandfather, Jerome Walters.  Happy Father's Day granddaddy.

What I love about the LORD ...

every thing in that Book is true. We are engaged in spiritual warfare, our enemies are in our own families, mothers are against daughters, ravenous wolves are preaching, people will never do what is right, only what is convenient.

Evil can not win.  Women like my mother do not want us to know, to ever possibly believe that they are not superior to GOD, can NOT in fact outwit GOD.  Have no  power and authority over our lives.  We do not owe them.  No such thing.  My mother was such a common whore you (we)  could not be anything important, productive, pure, wholesome, without her judgmental opinion, without her stamp of approval.  Without  humbling ourselves to her first, without apologizing for interrupting and spoiling her great life.  In her deep delusion, Martha was not only superior to us, she was superior to GOD and we not only needed to know it, it would be best for us if we acted accordingly.  DO NOT EVER CRITICIZE MARTHA! Never so much as mention the slightest mistake she ever made! Martha  could not  be wrong, could not be found in wrong doing.  Martha had the "power", she was a WITCH!  Martha could harm you, could rot your asshole out. When you saw Martha, you better walk wide,  because she was never wrong and she could put a depilating "root" on you.

Martha never really believed she was superior, better than, smarter than or more loved for the color of her skin.  She knew it was just skin.  She sold that lie because it is so readily believed and held by fellow evildoers.  Martha was right in knowing that there are far more ignorant people on this earth than righteous.

That does not justify joining up with them however.  I was a small child and I felt for Martha.  For some reason I always understood her shame.  Especially when she was caught common enough, low enough, weak enough, carnal enough to be fornicating in the front seat of her new husband's 1955 Baby Blue  Fairlane Ford.

The crash startled me. BOOM! The driver side car window smashed.  The night was pitch black, the man betrayed was jet black.  What was Martha to do?  This was her second husband in less than three years.   She had three children by three different men.  This was not done, was not tolerated in the history of man kind.

What was  Martha to do? Mathy Jane pulled up her "draws" and beat the dog shit out of that man.  Worse, went on to humiliate him about the color of his skin.  He was so black,  everywhere he went, everywhere his black ass sat,  he left a dark stain.

I know now through self healing research this was the beginning of our Stockholm syndrome.  Our brainwashing by a complete succubus.  No, Martha never changed.  In fact she waxed worse and worse just like GOD said she would.

Yes, I feared her, followed most of her commands but when she deliberately murdered my grandfather in 1979 I changed.

"Come ye out from among them."

I almost felt continued sorrow

for her,  then I remembered she did those terrible things so deliberately for eighty-seven years.  Martha was a lazy whore, not about to really work, not about to truly,  honestly earn a decent living.  Not when she was as smart and as clever as she thought   she was.

Enslavement.  Exploitation.  Mind manipulation. Terror. Brainwashing. Hoodoo. Voodoo.  All methods used by Martha for eighty-seven years before she would dare genuinely apologize for anything.  Martha was right!  The whole world was wrong!  GOD was wrong, her dumb ass daddy was wrong.  All those sorry men were wrong for giving up on her.  Her damn dumb ass daughter was wrong , always trying to be so damn perfect, righteous and forgiving.

Yes, I do certainly understand why Martha was so jealous of me.  I am a damn sight better as a human being than she ever was.  I  have never spent and entire day cursing to the top of my lungs.  I have never burned with insane jealousy and stalked my loved ones with WITCHCRAFT!

Worse, now I know she was just putting on a show.  Martha was never more than a low slut.  She did not have the morals of a common earthworm. The thing is, that is what Martha preferred.  She wanted to be common, to be known as common. She pretended to us that it was a lie, that her feelings were hurt.  The low slut was proud. Well, let me put it this way, have you ever done anything you didn't really want to do? She didn't either. The low dimwitted slut was determined to defeat GOD! It can't be done and I will not be part of the Flying Monkeys still pretending to be afraid of a very dead whore.

So, why hate me? Why try to force me into such? You knew better!  Oh yes you did!  The fact that you hid your true intentions, your true character so well is proof of how deeply disturbed you  knew you were.

I still don't know how you slept so well at night.  Woman! You murdered your own daddy!  Forget all the other horrible things you did. YOU MURDERED YOUR OWN DADDY and coming to repentance never crossed your mind.

"Come ye out from among them."  No, no one saved us from your savage ass when you poured that pot of boiling hot coffee on my brother's chest.  When you pushed one brother's beautiful face into the stove. No one tried to save that puppy.  But your fruit, your fruit bitch!  It kept accumulating.  Then that "boy" came back home.

You even said it yourself; "The cat out the bag now."

She did what!?

I'm sixty-five years old still experiencing "night terrors".  No child with a living mother should fear sexual molestation, rape, assault, enslavement, savage treatment, starvation. No one should fear being "rooted", controlled. manipulated by anyone on this earth.

LORD help you if you ever find yourself in my situation.  My mother was not just an evil deeply disturbed succubus,  she was manipulative enough to go unpunished for eighty-seven years.  Notice, I said unpunished because she was certainly recognized.  Yes, my mother was that woman GOD told us to endure to the end.

When I reflect on the many demonic acts that woman committed deliberated, totally unchecked, I crawl up in a ball, a fetal position and cry.  I just cry.  I do not want another human being to ever feel as helpless, as hopeless,  as this albatross deliberately made us feel.

She is gone now.  Praise the LORD! There is no excuse for any one to continue lying and denying for her.  She was what she was.  By no stretch of the imagination can Martha Jane Walters be called anything but what she was, a hideous whore.  A "no mannered" selfish ignorant thing.

This morning I was deeply ashamed remembering how she humiliated me taking my fourteen year old boyfriend from me.  Yes, I was lame, very inexperienced as she pointed out.  She saw me with a crumpled piece of paper.  I had joted down topics to discuss with ****** when he called.  He was the most popular boy in our junior high school.  He walked up to me in front of the whole ninth grade class, asked me for my phone number.

I was instantly popular, considered lucky.  The phone finally rang, my mother snatched it out of my hand as she asked; "Is this MY handsome grey eyed, pink lipped Boyfriend!?"  Not only did Martha keep the phone for what seemed like hours, she talked about me like a dog.  About how dark my skin was, how I did not have good sense.  Unable and unwilling to defend myself I retreated to my grandfather's room.  The room we shared.  The only place I could go to ever get away from her. The only person that reassured me evil could not last always.  Told me repeatedly; "Time changes all things, dawthur."

That's low.  A forty year old woman deliberately humiliating her only daughter, taking her boyfriend. Something is wrong.  Evil can not last forever.

I refuse to be held hostage by a ...

dead demon! Lies! All lies!  When was Martha Jane Walters not lying? Not one damn day in eighty-seven years!  There is no excuse for such blatant stupidity.  No excuse for such evil, savage sadistic behavior.  Why did we fear her? Stockholm syndrome.  Martha instilled her debilitating fear early.  Of course she waxed worse and worse, finally brave enough to blast her own father in the heart.

What kind of family permits such? Pretty sorry, pretty "no count" .  What is lower than a coward?  Just who is afraid of a dead demon?


I saw a picture recently it was an innocent swan hatchling surrounded by crocodiles hatchlings. Reminded me,  of me.  Know when your relatives are evil, purely ravenous, then get away from them.