The irony of ironies

My mother was NOT going to be corrected.  Why you better not ever suggest that she was wrong, made a mistake, had evil intent, was uninformed, was just mean and evil.  Just stay the fuck out of her way and let her be wrong.  Mathy  could NOT be wrong!  She was "yalla", she had "good hair"!

Get up every day thankful for another opportunity to breathe, to serve Mathy Jane.  It is very easy for the world to judge, to declare what they would have done or would not have done.  They didn't know Martha.  You weren't there, you don't know.  You can't know. "I wudda  .." Shut the fuck up!  You would have been glad to simply survive, to merely outlive the bitch.

 What you were going to do was let Mathy Jane have her way  You were going to "back lie" with her, you were going to hate whoever she hated.  Yes, you knew she was lying, she was wrong but you understood why she had a right to be wrong.  She was our mother.  We were fucked.  Get over it.  We needed her.  We were black, we were bastards.  We were supposed to accept our loser station in life.  We were cursed, Hagar's children.

Lies from satan.  We were cursed alright, not because we were Hagar's children, but, because we were Martha Jane's children.  The bitch was crazy, she should have been locked up.  Someone did not understand Christianity.  Someone did not understand the principal of forgiveness.

My mother loved to bellow at the top of her lungs; "COME GIT YO'BEATIN'!" She seriously bellowed that vulgarity across the quadrangle .  There must have been one hundred families that could hear her.  There were only two other black families in that whole complex.  One Japanese.

It didn't matter , I took to the hills, hid in the woods all day. "Come git yo'beatin'! Bitch are you fucking crazy? I wish the fuck I wud walk up on a beatin', just gon' let someone lay hands on me.  Bitch you crazy!  Bitch you might hit me, but you are going to have to catch me first. "

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." My mother harmed me, harmed us, harmed every one she envied for eighty-seven years.  She demonstrated the pride, the harm of being too proud to listen, to learn.

If Martha's life never did anything her life has taught many to never resort to WITCHCRAFT!

"From such stay away."

Ambushed!

Straight ambushed! Way layed! Coon-cocked!  Cool-cocked! Leapt upon!   Knocked on my ass totally unawares.  Pay attention! Remember reading that bullshit in some boring Literature class about youth being a vapor? No shit!

It is not even a vapor, it is a fine mist.  All the more reason no little ignorant piss ant should be fucking with you.  Some clown that fucked up their life, hanging around just to fuck up as many lives as s/he can because s/he is that wicked, that fucked up.

That is pride, the inability to be corrected, to acknowledge that you've made a mistake. These people are not only thick with abominable ignorance,  they are very vindictive, merciless.  Yes, they can commit deplorable acts and never care.  Sadly, they know how to pretend to care.  They are brilliant, perfectly astute in leading astray but , can not help for good. They are totally incapable of doing anything right for the right reason. They are true reprobates.  They can't even help themselves.  They are full fledged imps, "From such stay away."

Now, that , is Jesus! Jesus comes into our lives and demonstrates GOD'S Goodness if we let (HIM).   If we listen.   If Jesus told you to shun them, to avoid them, you better listen. "Wrong can never be made right."  For some reason we all tried to "compartmentalize " my mother.  All we didn't see did not affect us.  What could we do? When had Martha ever lost? When was she ever held accountable? Why fight? You were going to lose? She was going to get violent and vulgar.  You were just going to get embarrassed.  No one was ever going to listen to you, to believe you.  Just go along with her bullshit.  After all, how bad could it be?

How common is common? How selfish is selfish? My mother stroked my brother, encouraged him to put a "bird" , a ghetto hood ornament on his car.  She watched him spend and entire year tricking out his car knowing flu well she planned to trade it in on a new Cadillac.  Not only is that cold and whorish, it is cruel, inhuman, just fucking evil.  "From such stay away."

We know, we hear, we see.   Sometimes we ignore what we see because we want what we want.  Sometimes we compromise.  I looked at the calendar and compromised.  It's alright.  I got what I wanted, a beautiful daughter.  If he lost out, that is his dumb ass.

Anti-intellectual1  The worse anti-intellectual is the one that pretends to be an intellectual based on the "I heard method".  That's right, you heard it.  You never read that dumb shit.  The very unfortunate truth is that envy and jealousy always destroy the anti-intellectual.  He is no lazy, s/he thinks reading, critical thinking to be a chore, therefore s/he languishes in her own ignorance.

  Any one GOD is through with, finished with.  any one GOd has released over to a reprobate mind  is unfit, deplorable.  They are not going to get better, EVER!  I know.  I gave my demonic mother sixty-two years of my time and she never changed.  She only waxed worse and worse, just like GOD"S Word says.

Get your shit.  Gather your little meager belongings and get gone!  Face it, if you are with a sorry mate, someone not only not pulling their weight but , have the damn nerve to mistreat you!

 "Somebody must want to die!  Some simple muthafucker got a death wish.  They must want to commit suicide.  Does this muthafucker know how fragile I am? Not only could I kill this muthafucker, I wanted to! I relished it! I was gleeful just imagining the opportunity."

LORD help me! Somebody ain't got no damn manners and no damn sense! Is this muthafucker retarded?  Surely  to GOD this nigger is Forrest Gump! Shit!  He is not even as smart as Forrest Gump!

How did he finish high school?  Dumb question LORD!

Steer clear dummies!  Steer clear lying dummies.  Steer clear lying dummies with a death wish.

"Come ye out from among them."

"Don't go up tuh that school house and get dumbed up!"

It took me an extremely long time to fully comprehend what my grandfather meant by that constant statement.  He believed in education, he was an avid reader, a brilliant critical thinker , there fore his deep skepticism concerning organized education.  It was because he could so quickly discern a clown or a puppet in an organized school , on a school board, that he always cautioned us.

I've always loved learning about what I want to learn about.  I love social studies, history, liberal arts, formal arts, theatre, literature, politics, anthropology, archeology.  My mind is ravenous for information on what I like! 

I have no interest in technology, therefore I languish as a stubborn slave refusing to learn more than where the  "on and off" buttons are located.  My iPhone has helped me tremendously, forced me to become more computer literate whether I wanted to or not.

It is true; "You can not teach and old dog new tricks."  People think the old dog is refusing to learn, being obstinate.  I have a testimony.  We can't.  We can't catch on.  Computers bring out the "Down Syndrome" in me. I am not saying that as a put down for "slow thinkers".  It is a plea for deep sympathy.  I want people to pretend I fell off of a very high building, crushed my scull, suffered a brain injury and now must wear a helmet for the rest of my life.

How are you going to treat me?  Will you take advantage of me because you know I'm slow?  Remember one thing, one day, you too shall be old, hopefully.

 Technology brings out my frustration.  I found out I am easily frustrated.  I am ADDH.  I am Attention Deficit Disordered with Hyperactivity and emotionally disordered.  I am like most students, fucked up!

Wait! Before you judge, when has man never been fucked up?  That is the nature of man to be foolish, to be fucked up.  That is why GOD gave us (HIS) Son.  I am so glad I serve a GOD of second chances.

Praise the LORD!

I hate bullies!

A bully is a sociopath that delights in torturing and terrorizing some one too young, too small, too elderly, too dependent, too mentally infirm to help themselves.  The con artist sadistic sociopath like my mother delights in vexing , frustrating and confusing their victims FOREVER!

Sadly, the evil doer, the malignant narcissist  never tires of her demonic control.  As a matter of fact will go to extremes to maintain her control, will seek the occult in  order to imprison, in order to have her way.

The only salvation from such a woman as my mother is through the LORD Jesus Christ.  You must seek (HIS) face, (HIS) guidance.  You must surrender all.  You must know your truth.  No matter how dreadful and painful.  Know your truth!  Now get up, dust yourself off and proceed with your life.

Press on!

That's alright evil doer!

Pick on me because You think I'm nothing.  Because you declared me to be too black!  Because you said I was a worthless cunt.  Because I am a bastard, never had "no daddy". You did that bitch!  You deliberately conceived me without a daddy.  You never wanted me to have a daddy.  You just wanted a punching bag, a footstool, something you could use and throw away.

Well, I ain't no throwed away baby,  bitch!  Yes, you threw me away but Jerome Walters caught me, loved me, nurtured me, set me on the right path.  Here you come!  You standing WHORE!

I'm a child of GOD! Yes,  Almighty GOD, the GOD you pretended to believe in for eighty-seven years.  Yes, (HE) is real,  dumb ass!  I just want to know, how could you believe in demonic WITCHCRAFT AND NEVER BELIEVE IN GOD?

That is called delusional. That is what GOD will do to you when (HE) releases you over to a reprobate mind.  Yes, Mathy you got released.

BOW DOWN sATAN!

Evil can NOT win!

Sure, it can lurk around too long, just vex and pester but, it can't win.  I do want this world to know we knew.  We knew Martha was an evil troll , we just didn't know what to do.  My brother said he was just going to  placate her.  While he was placating her he lost everything he ever had.  Lost his medical practise, his family, his dignity, his self esteem.

Let's see, what did Martha get?  She was called Reverend Watson for over thirty years.  But what did she get?  Was she respected or just feared?  Feared for her "voodoo", her conjure, her serious ability to hex.  Her ability to ruin, to run in and snatch all the joy, all pleasure out of anything, anyone?  Her ability to cast you down, to leave you writhing in pain while that sick bitch laughed.  Is that what she got?  Is that all she ever wanted?

SADISTIC!  Some people are pure SADISTS! SADISTS in the CHURCH!  Hiding, wearing robes, up preaching. GOD  said No!

I was eight years old, I was getting out of my mother's new Oldsmobile.  This was 1959, cars were made out of real steel.  My mother "accidentally" slammed my entire left hand in the heavy car door.  It hurt like hell. When I tell you the pain was excruciating, it was beyond belief.  My mother stood there angry, mad with me for accusing her of such a desperate act.  The stanking bitch never tried to comfort me, never gave me a piece of ice.

Rot you stanking WHORE!

 I know now Martha derived tremendous pleasure from that one act. Martha was one sadistic WHORE, A COMPLETE SLUT!    She used to beat me viciously,  AND some of my brothers.  Yes, the bitch had the damn  nerve to be selective.  I know now it was because she was such an awful coward.

My mother was a Gossip.  She loved to gossip more than any woman on this earth.  Everyone was her favorite subject.  No body was shit, no one was ever going to be shit.  There was only one subject you could not touch around Mathy Jane.  She could not be talked about, criticized, admonished, corrected or even loved.

Yes, the dumb bitch did not want you to love her either.  Martha just wanted your check, your defeated broken body and your crippled mind.  Martha did not want to see love in your eyes, she demanded to see sheer terror.  Don't act like you were NOT terrorized. Try to be cool, to be normal, to be happy, to express joy over the slightest accomplishment.  That stanking Mathy Jane was swopping in, robbing and never letting on that your excruciating pain made her glad.

Yes, Martha was a fake Christian.  Martha was one low slut that purely hated GOD.  I think she hated (HIM) for making her put on so.  Why Martha would not just serve satan outright  I will never know.  Was it  because we would have caught on and just left?   She would have lost her narcissistic supply.  Where would Martha be without anyone to put down, to rape, to hate to secretly destroy?

Why didn't I know how much she hated me? She did tell me how much she hated my oldest brother.  She said she hated him because he ruined her  life.  For once she was not lying.  What I did not know, she hated us all equally. Sometimes she would admit it.  Mostly Martha pretended to love us fiercely and that she was just hanging around to help.

Dear LORD thank you for these few years without her.  I praise you LORD.  I do have one request, no mas!  No more men and women like Martha.  She was hideous, she was cruel. She was a fake.  She was much too disrespectful, common and cruel.  She refused repentance.  A preacher that refuses to repent is no preacher.

Martha Jane Walters deliberately lived the life of a lying immoral prostitute ROOT WORKER and died as such.

She deliberately snatched the mantel off of my grandfather and tried to wear it.  Wore it dishonorably .  Wore it falsely.  She should rot!   Unfortunately every one that still loves her,  that still fear her should rot as well.

"Come ye out from among them."

Yes, I was forced into a secret war

A secret war! What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK!?  That is what I said, and that is what I meant!  SIXTY-TWO  YEARS  of fighting, warring, battling a secret enemy.  Secret, hidden, a lying slut cooing, purring and deliberately leading her entire family astray, into captivity because her sorry ass missed the boat, got pregnant and had a baby at sixteen.  Found her whorish ass pregnant every year and unwed.  Just lied! Became a pathological liar, pretending, fantasizing and forcing every one to go along with her bullshit by cunning, triangulation, manipulation vulgar intimidation  and WITCHCRAFT!

THAT'S WHY YOU LOST DUMB ASS MATHY JANE!  Not only were you thick, you were dishonest, you had no morals and you wanted  none.  Martha you were in love with wrong doing.  You were a reprobate! Jesus told us from such stay away.  How could I stay away when you were my mother?  It is a good thing you stayed away for the first four years of my life.  Left me in the care of my grandfather.  That is the only hope I ever had.  That brief four year period gave me a chance, an opportunity to develop some survival skills to protect myself from your sick demonic sneaky vermin ass.

Woman! Woman! Woman!  I know you were ashamed to be so common. You had to be ashamed of your perversions, of your nymphomania, that is why you hid it so cleverly.  That has to be the only reason you pretended to love GOD, pretended to love the people you secretly persecuted for your own sadistic carnal pleasure.

Fraud! You were never more than a common fraud.  I thank you.  Without you I would have never caught onto  to the likes of DT, to "Don the Con", the racist  Fascist creep  so readily. I would have never believed such low evil possible without first hand experience.

Bow down bitch! Bow down! Evil can't win and you can rot!