"Don't you hinder me!"

"If you don't want to go don't you hinder me!"  I grew up singing that song often.  I watched people in my church get "happy", "shout", full of the Holy Ghost.

I must admit that I used to giggle when I watched grown people flipping, jumping and running wildly all over the church when they got the "spirit".  I knew it was real though.  I knew it was real because I got it sometime.  I never wanted to get it in church though.

I didn't want every one looking at me strangely, questioning my motives, my convictions.  So, I sat there quietly loving the LORD.  Knowing that He loved me.  I sat there listening and learning.

"If you don't want to go, don't you Hinder me devil! Stay out of my way.  Go to hell by yourself and take all your little hellions with you."

You don't have to live right if you don't want to.  Why are you bothering me?  Do you want every one to be stupid and blind like you?

I'm sitting here moaning;"My LORD! My LORD!" Why didn't somebody tell me?  I Googled "Malignant Narcissistic Psychopath" yesterday and my blood ran cold!

Definitions, descriptions and books two miles long popped up on my screen.  "My LORD! My LORD!"

The first description was of the Pathological Liar- skillfully deceptive and very convincing.  Avoids accountability by diverting topics, dodging questions, and making up new lies, bluffs or threats when questioned.  Constant chaos and diverting from reality is their chosen environment. "That's my life! my brain screamed! That's Mathy Jane!"

2. The Contract Breaker- agrees to anything then turns around and does the opposite. Marriage, normal social protocol are meaningless.  That's why she was such a whorish wife I thought.  Enjoys playing the role of the 'poor me' victim.  "Everybody is always lying on me.  I did the best I could. N****** didn't nevah do nuttin' but git me pregnant and leave me wid all dese black a** n**** churen."

3. The High Roller- is charismatic, eloquent, and intelligent.  Often fakes abilities and credentials. That's Mathy, pretending that she is shy hours from holding a Ph.D.  Boarding cruise ships pretending to be a millionaire in order to trick young men into having sex with her.  Charismatic! is not the word!  She can and will charm you out of all your money and leave you standing, grinning and saying thank you for letting her take advantage of you.   Needs to have ironfisted control, relies on her manipulation skills.  Will ruthlessly exploit and target, mercilessly abuses power.  Uses treachery and terrorism to rule.  Is a vindictive bully often suspicious and paranoid.  "My LORD! My LORD!"  Where was this information when I was a child? a young adult?

Her ironfisted control has plagued me for my entire life!  Put Martha Jane Walter's picture next to this definition.  Put it on wanted posters.  Put it on the Internet!

4. The Sexual Narcissist - Hypersexual- will commit incest, any kind of sexual act,  knows no sexual boundaries. (That explains why she had sex with all those men in front of me when I was 19.)  They will have sex with anything, anyone, young, old, male, female.  You exist for their sexual gratification.  She will degrade you, will tell lies about your sexuality to evade exposure of her own.  She has lied on me for my entire life.  She claims my niece is a lesbian and two of my brothers are gay.  Put her name on a billboard!  Put out fliers, nail them to trees and telegram poles.  The world needs to know about such people.  Give people a warning, a head's up, please.

5. The Blame-Game Narcissist - never accepts responsibility for her own actions.  Blames other for her failures and circumstances.  A master of projection.  (projection - will assign her faults to you).  "My LORD! My LORD!"  She accused me, blamed me for my brother's 25 year estrangement.  She knew full well she was the sole culprit!  She blamed my grandfather for her getting pregnant at 16. "If daddy hadn't been running a juke joint I wudduh nevah got pregnant!  If dem ignut n***** had taught me whur babies came from I wudd'nah got pregnant."

Dear LORD from Zion save us all from sin.  Save us from evil men and women that line up to take advantage of us before we know your way.  Deliver us from all evil LORD.

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of as great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)