Dear LORD, my heart is broken ...

Dear LORD, I am trying to sweep up the pieces, trying to knit myself back together. Some of the pieces are much too small, nothing but dust. I stood crying and pleading, telling the world what my own mother had done to me. How she had used me like a dirty dishrag for my entire life. How she laughed at me, made a fool of me just so she could look good or look better. GOD! she murdered her own father! My granddaddy! A man that was never anything but a patient saint. No, we all know she did it. Just can't face it, can't handle the pain. Just maintain the status quo. If something evil and eery happens in your "family". If it is creepy and strange, foreign to this world, just ignore it. You're used to it. You had a tooth filled without any Novocain by a "black" dentist that hated all people of color. You suffered that excruciating pain because Mathy told you; "Dont go to dat dentist showing yo'a**!" Was Dr.*B***** a sadist!? Why would he fill my huge cavity without giving me anything for the pain? Why did I take it? Why didn't I speak up for myself? My little fingers dug deep into the chair rails, my toes curled up in my shoes. But, I did not cry. Mathy told me I better not ever cry. I am not going to relive all of the pain that woman forced me to endure. I will tell you children this: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Close your mouth. Be quiet and listen. Stop being so argumentative and defensive. Martha Jane could never be corrected because she was never wrong. Every one was too sensitive, too dumb, too jealous. Nothing was ever Martha Jane Walter's fault. Don't lie! Quit lying! Pray to become honest in all your dealings. Refuse to be double minded. Don't hate. Ask GOD to cleanse your heart. Live right. Study you Bible. Pray! Pray without ceasing.