Yes, you do ...

have to pray for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  You have to ask for it.  You ask GOD for everything else you want.

You have to pray to not hate.  Why? Hatred is pleasurable. (Dear LORD deliver me from all hatred, all fear and loathing.)  Hatred is a human emotion, kind of like cussing.  You may not be a "cusser" per say but if you smash your finger in the car door you are going to say some things.  You are going to mutter some words.

Dear LORD thank you for your gift of delivery!

Necrophilia! My word! Who ever heard of such?  Now that she is good and dead perhaps some of the horrific fear she instilled will finally subside.

I am astonished!  I'm astonished, I lived it , lived with her and still didn't know.  Granddaddy you were much too simplistic, labeling her behavior as"ignut" didn't go far enough to warn or alert me.  Advising me to not make any sudden moves when my head was in the Lion's mouth still left me clueless.

Children, beware of Ole Wives Tales; "Never tell a child anything bad about their parents. (even if it is true)"

What could poor granddaddy do?  One year after his 17 year old son bleed to death in his arms, his only daughter is "actin' duh pure-tee-fool".  "Done turned into a nasty 'ho! Out yeah shaming yo' daddy!"

Was this the time Martha got involved in witchcraft?  Was it so widespread in the black community that Mathy could not help being attracted? Luckily for me conjure and voodoo was the topic of my master's thesis. Instances of Conjure and Voodoo as Revealed Through Slave Narratives.

I was struck by the overwhelming belief and popularity of voodoo or conjure but could find no evidence that slaves had the courage to use it against their oppressors.  I discussed my thesis with my mother often, shared every detail.  Now I can laugh.  I shared every detail of my life with a demon wearing my mother's skin.  How could I know that the woman I called mother had been gone?  Sold her soul to satan to "look good".  To look prosperous.  Wearing fine clothes and driving a Cadillac didn't make me envy you.  My greatest dream was to get away from you.

Don't envy! Don't look on some one else's blessing and get angry thinking GOD has slighted you.  Wait your turn.  Study! Pray! Hone and cultivate your skills!  I earned my degrees!  I earned my retirement!  I devoted my life to my daughter voluntarily!   Parenting is a joy, a pure joy!  How could you be so wrong so long?

Rebellion!  Do you have a rebellious spirit?  You do if you are human.  That is why you have to pray to humble yourself, to surrender to the will of GOD.  Pray to not hate, but to love, to forgive.

Fear is a tool of the devil.  Verbal bullying  is more painful than physical abuse. My mother made me feel that I was too black to live, to breathe the same air she breathed. A good day with Martha was a day she didn't curse you, hit you or manage to humiliate you in some way. Of course we loved attending church with her.  We played along with the holy rolly act. I enjoyed it, managed to convince myself it was real.  This saved and sanctified Christian was going home with us. She preached today. It was wonderful! It was exciting! My mother brought the WORD!

It would take this time! She would not backslide this time.


Well, it didn't happen! Left here a raging ravenous wolf in seepz's clothing.  Still cussing, cursing and threatening, dee-double-dog-daring us to tell,

I got to tell it! I will tell it or explode! I will not hate you. I will not hide you. I will not keep your skeletons in my closet!

Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch , JEROME WALTERS)

Copyright March 19, 2014.  All rights reserved.