Oh children!

It is not when you find out your mother is a total scumbag, it is when you finally accept the obvious fact that has been staring you right in your face for your entire life.  A "problem" that wasn't your problem that you kept trying to fix.  Some thing that you were blamed for, punished for, suffered for, but forbidden to think about, to know, or to question.   "Shut the f*** up n****!  Just go along to get along.  This is what you get for being born too dark, a member of the "black race", female, lame, half blind, gullible, needy, some body dumb enough to believe she deserves love.  Just play stupid and grin.  The b**** can't live for ever.  When she dies keep pretending.  Keep up the lie.  The world will never know. It will hurt like hell.  You could benefit greatly from some Morphine.

Just grin n*****! Never curse! (It means you are immoral)  Never cry! (It means you are weak) Never tell! (It means you are nothing but a snitch, something lower than the thing you are telling on.)  Plus, you are black,  n****! Every one is always going to prefer her over your black ass!  Too bad! shouldn't have been born black!

LORD her feet were swift to run to mischief just like you said.  My mother always claimed to hate people of color, any one darker than a paper bag.  It wasn't my color she hated.  She hated me! She was a Hater!  The dumb idiot woman hated every thing, every one for no purpose.  Just because she thought it was pleasurable.  Just because she liked getting away with s***!  Just because Martha Jane Walters loved to trick people, manipulate, for her own selfish gain.  You were nothing, you didn't count.

It just hit me:  "Yo' thank too much of yo'sef!"  This is how she responded to my quizzing her concerning my awful "secret rape".  Did this fool really believe that she had the right to violate me? Did she sincerely consider me to be her property?  "I had yo'black ass! Dumb muthaf*****!  S*** you owe me!"

No LORD, not for one moment do I believe she was ever as dumb, primitive, retarded or confused as she pretended to be.  What she was, was a highly motivated reprobate, determined to carry out sick despicable, repugnant evil on the sly, stealth, cunning and sneaky,  laughing all the way.  Mocking GOD's Church, mocking the LORD Jesus Christ for 87 years!  The dummy convinced herself that she was safe, that she got away clean.  Just couldn't give up that "root working".  It was too much fun.  Mathy enjoyed it more than she did her illicit sex acts.  No one would ever know except for that damn pesty, "Goody Two Shoes" nosey ass, can't keep her f*** mouth shut "dawthur", Me!

Thank You LORD Thank you for opening my eyes! For finally giving me the courage to acknowledge my horrible truth.  Praise the LORD!

Yes, children GOD is Good! And He is right on time! He will right every wrong.  It is all in Divine Order!

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth  engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

Copyright May 9, 2014   All rights reserved.