I do have a burning ...

question for all abusers.  When you deliberately plot to hurt, injure, rob or destroy someone that you secretly hate, what do you get?

I was five, unkempt I am sure.  Our school was brand new.  So new, they were still building the cafeteria. I carried an old Superman lunchbox.  It smelled.  (I can still smell it.  It wasn't a bad smell, just very pungent.)

I was the ONLY child of color in my class! Integration was very new to Fort Bragg.  All the lunch boxes fell open at the same time. Beautiful sandwiches of  ham, bologna , lettuce and tomato wrapped in Saran Wrap or tin foil.

My hard dry sandwich was unwrapped. The lunchbox was nasty . It was peanut butter, no jelly. No milk, no beverage what so ever. Not even the nickel needed to buy milk. No hug and kiss, off to school with you. No stand at the bus stop on the first day of school either.

I knew. She made sure I understood fully the reason why; "YOU TOO BLACK! I don't want YOU! I never wanted your black ass! Your
punishment for being fool enough to grow inside my corrupt womb is MISERY! You will hate the fucking day you were ever born and needed me for shit! I'll learn you! Be black and bring yo 'sorry black ass to this earth again! "

"Go head tell it! Ain't nobody gon ' blieve you ...,and if they do, so what? You still black, nigger. This world don't give a shit about no nigga!"