"Jesus on the mainline...

call him up, tell Him what you want."  Oh, how I wish I could sing.  I assure you singing is not one of my gifts. Yet I can still hear that beautiful song ringing rhythmically in my ear.  I'm singing it right now.  It sounds beautiful in my head.  My inner voice, the one I always sing with, is perfect.  I have perfect pitch, a rich range. I'm so good I put Aretha Franklin to shame.

Of course that is the voice in my mind.  When I do sing aloud, I can't stand it.  I am tone deaf.  I really can not carry a tune in a bucket.  You can't have everything.  GOD is not going to give you every gift.  He may give you many gifts, but you will not get all of them.  Don't feel bad, ripped off or alone.  GOD knows what you need.  Do know that GOD brought each and every person to this planet earth for a reason.

Find your reason, find your purpose.  I am a critical thinker, an observer, a teacher.  I have been teaching since I was four years old.  True, I have experienced a lot of hardship.  But I trust GOD.  GOD knew what I needed.

"Into each life some rain must fall.  If it never rained we would never grow."  Brothers and sisters, I have had some rain.  More than rain, I guess you could call them monsoons, torrential rains, hurricanes.  But I am still here, standing tall, resilient.  My grandfather always called me a "tough little piece of leather".  He said I was a spitfire.  He always admired the "fire" in me and encouraged it.

The truth is he always taught me to be tough.  I was eight yeas old when he taught me how to shot his .22 rifle.  He taught me gun safety first.  But he told me ; "Don'cha eva' let no sorry n**** bring you down.  Ni ...don't you pull no gun on nobody unless you plan to use it.  Don't play wid guns ...and if you hafta shot .. ...shot to kill."

I never knew what motivated my grandfather to give me such a lesson at such a young age. Perhaps I reminded him of my mother.  My mother was savagely raped at age eight.  Perhaps my grandfather felt guilty.  He certainly felt the need to equip me with the ability to protect myself.

That "rape" was never talked about.  I never heard of it.  I was actually very old when  my mother shared parts of the story with me in 2008.  Evidently that is something that has tortured her for her entire life.  I don't agree that families should keep secrets.  This event had to have happened around 1933.  The country was deep into the "Great Depression."

My mother used to tell me how my grandfather willing helped so many people that stopped by his farm begging.  Some came by begging for the strings still clinging to his tobacco sticks.  Bundles of tobacco were tied to long wooden sticks, then hung high up in the rafters of a tobacco barn.  A person had to really be in bad shape, absolutely destitute to beg for little pieces of twine to patch their clothes.

People really suffered during the depression.  If white people suffered all over this great land you don't have to use your imagination to visualize how black people and other minorities faired.  My mother often shared stories of how her mother made something called pea-sausage.  She would smash up field peas and add sage, form them into little patties and fry them.  She would serve them with grits for breakfast.

My grandfather was one of the lucky ones, he had skills.  He was a carpenter hired by the FDR administration to help build Ft. Bragg.  He told me that he made twenty-five cents a day!  He said that was good money.  He owned his own home,  sixty-five acres of land.  He grew his own food.  He said he could buy coffee, sugar, and flour at the "stow" for a penny a pound.  My grandfather was actually fortunate enough to be able to save money during the "Depression".

Was my grandfather feeling generous, blessed, when he let that "stray n****" share his home with his family? Did he always feel guilty for allowing his friendship with a poor black man down on his luck to come and live in his home?  Should he have known this man could be so common?  Were there any signals or signs that he missed?  Was he stupid?  Why didn't he know that he should have never let a grown man have access to his beautiful precocious little girl?  Was he mad because he didn't kill "duh n****"?  Should he have killed him?

I really can't say how my grandfather reacted.  I don't know what was done or said.  I know that it was a family secret.  It was the pink elephant in the room.  I know that is why my mother thinks it is the reason for her promiscuity.  Perhaps it is.  But, why did she want to ruin me?  Why does she want to bring the whole world crashing down with her?

My grandfather was a humble man.   He never bragged or gloated.  He was truly able to enjoy his retirement.  He collected social security and a veterans pension for serving in World War I.  My grandfather had the foresight to volunteer to pay into social security.  As good fortune would have it, the government paid him an allotment to NOT grow tobacco.

The granddaddy I knew never had a broke day.  It was a good thing he didn't because he had to come to my rescue so many times.  He paid for my high school ring, bought me books in college.  I am not ashamed to say it.  To his dying day he was always slipping me money.  Paying my rent and car note in the summers when I was not teaching.  I never had sense enough to save any money.

When I look back I can see that I was spoiled rotten. I remember my mother laughed when I lamented that granddaddy's casket should be a double-wide because I needed to climb in there with him.  I love my granddaddy and I will never stop.  He loved me so fiercely he taught me how to love.

My mother does not love me.  As a matter of fact she hates me.  It's alright.  I forgive her.  She never loved my grandfather.  She hated him too.  My poor mother is saddled with the burden of hatred and untruth.  It was something cultivated in her long ago.

I have neatly put all the pieces of this awful puzzle together.  A little girl that would manipulate her toddler baby brother into severely burning his hands.  A little girl that would strike her baby brother in the head with and iron skillet.  A little girl that would smash a puppy to death between two bricks is certainly a "bad seed".

I know Martha.  I know her deeds, her sick fruit.  The hot soapy enemas that I remember from age four.  I will not retell her savage acts today.  There is no need.  I clearly understand.  For what ever reason my mother is a pervert.  She knows it but unfortunately she chose to hide her infirmities rather than seeking help. She chose to hate and destroy her accusers.  She chose to suffer with envy and jealousy.  She chose to be a woman of weak faith.

Martha is not unlike most people.  I have found that most people claim to love GOD but secretly don't.  Most people have little or weak faith.  Look at Peter.  He was a disciple of Christ.   He knew the man personally.  Walked with him and talked with him daily.  He was out there walking on water, walking toward Jesus and he, Peter, took his eyes off Jesus.  Peter let the cares of this world take his eyes off Jesus.  Peter let what people thought and what people said cause him to doubt.

I forgive my mother for thinking like the world.  I forgive her of her weak faith and double mindedness.  I forgive her of her deep shame and perversion.  I forgive her for letting her lust rule her.  She is only human.   I forgive her for not trusting GOD.

I am not going to be foolish because she is.  GOD has given me many infallible proofs that He is real.  I will continue to sing my song in my head.  My song will always sound good to me in my head.  I will continue to call up Jesus and tell Him what I want.  I want my mother to be saved.  I want my mother to give her life to Christ.  I want her to stop lying and denying.  I want her to come to GOD's marvelous light.

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

You can run, but you sho' can't hide!

What you runnin' fa'?  Whur you gwine?  The devil can't hide you...he don't want to either.  He accomplished his purpose.  He jest wanted to shame you, to bring you down, to sink you so low you wud nevah even think about gettin' up.

Did you really eva' think yo' wuz dat smart?  Did you think a n**** gal lak you had any power?  You jest a fool, baby.  Like so many folks you let yersef' get used.  You thought being hardheaded and disrespectful to your parents wuz the thang to do.  You equated it wid being grown.

"I'M GROWN! I kin do lak I pleaze!"  Being grown don't make you smarter or wise, dawthur.  Dranking likker and fornicating don't mean nuttin'.  What did you prove?  You proved dat you cuddin' be controlled...wuddin' be controlled.  You see whur it got'cha ...don'cha?

Lawd! you sho' in a mess chile.  It ain't too late 'dough.  Man is in a mess gal!  Look around you!  the whole wurld is messed up.  So.. when you finally come to yo' senses...when you finally come to the Lawd you will be right on time.

Gawd will let you in!  He sho' will.  He loves you just the same.  He duh same Gawd He always been.  He knew you wud be hard headed and disrespectful. He knew you wud fall fa' duh foolishness of this world...dat's why He sent us Hiz Son.  Praise the Lawd!

If you still ain't got sense enuf to give yo' life to duh Lawd...I don't know what to tell ya?  He hung on dat cross...He hung 'dere ...fa' you and fa' me.

I made it in dawthur!  I made it in!  I always wanted you to be here wid me.  I forgive ya' chile.  You know I always loved ya'...always forgave ya.  Go on and forgive yersef!  Quit all that lying and keepin' up devilment.
You too old to still be a fool..  Don't worry 'bout who lookin' or who listenin'.

Listen to Gawd...listen to Hiz WORD.

I'll be lookin' fa' you dawthur... I'll be lookin' some whur 'round Gawd's throne.

"Who dat?"

"Who dat? say Who dat? when I say Who dat?"  It started many years ago as an oft told joke of some old roguish boy caught in a hen house stealing chickens.  Black folks used to be famous for stealing chickens.  I heard that joke many times as a child.  The last time I heard a version of it was in the form or a chant by the New Orleans Saints.

When I hear the expression "Who dat?" I immediately picture some unfortunate culprit caught some place he has no business.  We can all easily get caught in places we have no business.  Who among us has not been led astray?  coaxed into captivity?

When you wake up one day and realize that you did wrong, be quick to forgive yourself, to repent.  It is alright.  You are human.  You are subject to human frailties.  "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man; but GOD is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Lets say you fell low.  So low that you are deeply ashamed to admit that you did what you did.  Don't waste your time and brilliance scheming up a way to get out of your trouble.  You can't erase your deed with back lies and intimidation.  Mocking, ridiculing, insulting, intimidating and abusing your accuser only makes that foul deed worse.  You end up sucking all the joy out of your life.  You become paranoid and distrustful.  You have to tell a thousand lies to cover that original lie.  Your paranoia becomes sick hatred.  You can't trust anyone because you can't trust yourself.

You can trust GOD.  You can trust His Grace and Mercy.  Pray to embrace the Truth.  Don't worry about people talking about you. People are going to talk about you.  They talked about Jesus.  People are going to hate you.  They hated Jesus.

Put your hand in the hand of the man that calmed the waters.  That healed the sick, raised the dead, gave sight to the blind.  Pray for GOD to restore your sight today.  You have been blind for a very long time.  Yes you are ignorant.  You are ignorant enough to believe your own lies.

Stop wasting your time trying to pound your lies into the truth.  Keep clinging to your lying spineless minions. You know they are spineless because you made them that way.  You emasculated your sons from the cradle.  You ought to be ashamed of yourself.  You had no business having children.   You knew better.  You knew the boundaries you deliberately violated.

I can see you now, standing there, plaiting those huge long switches,  bellowing; "Come git 'cho beatin'!"  I thought you were crazy.  "Dis ***** must be out of hur *******  mind!" (I would say to myself) as I took off running, heading for the hills.

Time has marched around Martha.  Your life has come full circle.  Now it is time for you to come get your beating.  Come get your justice!  Come and get your "just and honest due!"  You did it to others.  What did you think?  Did you think a "lucky hand" was really going to get you off?  Do you think GOD is impressed or intimidated by your graveyard dust?

Every body is not stupid.  Don't be surprised to find out that your five sons have more manhood than you think they have.  You dismissed me as a cowardly worm for fifty-eight years.  Look what GOD did for me!

GOD finally opened my eyes, then He opened my mouth.  Now I can't shut up.  I am not going to shut up.  Maybe you can't be saved.  Maybe you are too far gone.  But somebody will be saved by my Holy Ghost message.  I know one person that sure got saved and filled with His Holy Spirit.  Me.  I'm on fire for Jesus.   It is like fire shut up in my bones!  I'm proud to tell it.

My granddaddy had it.   You couldn't shut him up either.  He's been gone since February 10, 1979, but he is still preaching, still testifying.

He lives Martha Jane.  Jerome Walters lives in my heart.  He planted his words of wisdom deep within my soul.  I can't make a decision, write a word, without remembering that great humble man.  Shame on you for taking his life.  Quit lying.  His wasn't the only life you took.  His wasn't the only life you deliberately ruined.

What did it get you? Nothing.  RUINATION! You were so hard headed, you thought you were so smart.  Did you think that you were smarter that GOD?  Do you think His book is a collection of fables and wives tales?  Are you that proud?  Surely to GOD you can't be as foolish as you pretend to be.  I told you.  GOD told you, "It is all in Divine Order."  It is GOD's dispensation, He is righting every wrong.

Praise the LORD children!  Thank Him for every blessing.  "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." (Philippians 2:12)

"Some where I read."

That; "Some where I read." expression was made popular by Dr. King. Dr. King did not create it, he simply popularized it in his brilliant oratory.   Many black preachers of old punctuated their dynamic sermons with that phrase.

When the minister got to "Some where I read." the church knew instinctively that preacher was about to get down to some gut wrenching moaning and groaning.  Some fire and brimstone was about to fall.  Fire and brimstone to be followed by manna from heaven.  This would be the hour everyone had waited for, had gathered for.

That old minister would take out a huge white handkerchief and cuff it in this hand.  Then he would work that handkerchief like magic, wiping spittle from his mouth and mopping sweat from his brow.  That old black preacher was not content to stand in one place.  The spirit often made him run from one side of the pulpit to the other.  Sometimes the spirit would take over and cause him to jump and shout and threaten to jump over the chancellor rail.

"Some where I read." was a warm up call.    Holy sanctified  filled with the Holy Ghost churches ate it up.  That one phrase put the "shouters" on notice to get ready.  This was the warm up, there was about to be a Holy Ghost party.

First came the "Amens", then the "Preach it brother!", followed by a lot of foot stomping and "Praise duh Lawd!".   Every one knew to say "Amen" when the preacher called; "Can you say Amen?  Can you say Praise duh Lawd?  Can you say thanky Jee-zuz?"

It would not be long before that old preacher was "hacking".  Hacking was punctuating every sentence with a "hack".  "Dey nailed my Jee-zuz to an old rug-ged cross!" (hack) "Yes dey did!" (hack)  "Dey hung Him hi and streeee-tched Him wiiiiii-ddd-eee!" (hack)

This was the style of preaching I grew up listening to.  I found it invigorating and certainly entertaining.  My own grandfather said that a preacher that couldn't "hack" couldn't preach.

I pursued a masters degree in African American Studies.  I learned this style of preaching is steeped in African tradition.  All black people of the African diaspora are very musical, melodious people.  We love melody, music.  Not just from musical instruments, but in our language, our speech.  We are very colorful.  We will paint you a picture verbally.   "N**** I will slap duh taste out'cha mouth!"   "Who dat stray slew footed n***** coming up here?"

Most black people will not just talk to you using their voice only.  It is in our melodious tone, body language, head, hands, eyes.  Black women are famous for rolling their heads and necks.  It's cultural.  It's cool.  We are not culturally deprived as some say.  Black people are simply culturally different.

Back to "Some where I read".  "Some where I read; you're going to reap what you sow!"  What you did in the dark is going to come to light.  "Some where I read; it would be better that a millstone were placed around your neck and you were cast into the sea, for harming the least of GOD's little children!"

"Some where I read."; that I should not get weary in well doing.  That I should not give up the right for the wrong.  "For GOD has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Though I was terrified and horribly abused from birth.  I was brainwashed, misused and abused for my entire life!  I was demonically,  physically, sexually and emotionally abused by my own MOTHER! (a jack leg "root worker" soothsayer )  I will fear no evil!  She is an idiot, the devil's imp.  She serves a purpose.  Never be that dumb.  Put your trust in GOD, not in "voodoo" and "graveyard dust".  Never allow yourself to become so primitive, void of understanding, utterly vacuous.

You will end up old and haggard looking just like the fool you are.  Your sins will follow you to the grave.  You will commit sins so depraved very few will have the courage to recount them.  You will become a hated thing demanding to be loved.

"Some where I read."; you can be loved Martha.  "Come to Jesus.  Come to Jesus right now."  You are forgiven.  Forgive yourself for being stupid, for being rebellious.  Forgive yourself for not trusting in GOD, something that you know you were taught to do from birth.  Don't let your foolish pride and lies keep you from from GOD's Grace.

Stay in His WORD children.   Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

"Many are called, but few ...

a chosen."  In other words, a lot of people are are talking about heaven, but very few are going there.  There won't be any liars there.  So, if you are a liar, shut up!  "GOD's got the key and you can't get in!"

If your evil demonic mother who pretends to be psychotic, murdered your grandfather and you are still too terrified, brains fried, and too weak to tell, you are not getting in.

There are some things you can't ignore. MURDER IS MURDER!  It was NOT a mercy killing.  It was a brutal savage MURDER,designed by a sick "psychotic" sadistic narcissistic root working soothsaying demon!  You can't get by by declaring you are not engaging in any CSI.  You can't wash your hands, sanitize your memory and pretend that you don't know any better.

She has no power!  Sure she got over on us when we were children with her savage cruelty and wicked vulgar tongue.  She still managed to control us when we were still young adults.  At some point we all started to see through her, moved away, distanced ourselves.  So she changed her tactics and became an "ordained minister".  She never stopped fornicating, root working and manipulating.  She never stopped lying and leading into captivity.  We all know she never changed.  We've just lived in the hope of one day being a "normal" family.  We were just always frightened little pups, running scared with our tails tucked between our legs.

How dreadful, a "preacher" still threatening to shot and kill people.  I am not afraid of her M-16!  I am rooted and grounded in the Holy Ghost.  GOD encamps His host of Angels all around me.  The nerve, if she has GOD, why does she need so many guns?

You have an obligation.  You can help put her a way!  You are old, way past elderly.  Why are you pretending to be afraid of her? ( Or are you really?)  Declaring that you are honoring her as your mother.  You didn't honor her for twenty-five years.  You remember clearly all the demonic, sick, perverted things she did to you.  You can't forget them.  You say you have forgiven her.  How can you forgive someone that taunts you, picks at you and laughs at you?

Sure you can forgive her, but you know you have to watch your back.  You can not honestly say you trust her.

Trust GOD!  Trust Him to fight your battles.  Dare to love and honor your true "loved ones". Love the people that stood by you through thick and thin.  Don't honor a woman that made you suffer for being born.  Beat you savagely and abused you for looking like your father.

"Shun the very presence of evil!"  Embrace GOD's Almighty Truth.  I love you dear brother and pray daily for your courage.  Never give up!  Your grandfather was Jerome Walters!  His royal blood is running warm through your veins.

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)

I just wanted to be a writer ...

I was eight years old and I told my mother I wanted to be a writer.  I didn't want to be famous or anything.  I knew I liked to write.  I spent so much time in my room alone, coloring, drawing and writing stories.  My teachers encouraged to to write all the time.  They let me stand in front of the class and read my stories.  Everyone would clap.  So I decided that I would become a writer.

My mother told me that I was a "black n*****!" and I could never be a writer.  I learned years before to pay her no attention because granddaddy told me she "wuz ignut".

"You BLAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!! ...duh wurld won't nevah recognize you as nuttin'!"

So my ballet teacher swells with pride telling her what a great "Prima Donna" I was. I was eight and the only black student in her class.  My mother became very angry and said ;"You ain't takin' NO MO' BALLET!"  So that was the end of that.

I went from Brownie to Girl Scout.  This time there was another black girl in my troop.  My scout leader marveled at the record time in which I had won all my badges, memorized the entire three inch thick Girl Scout handbook just for fun.  So this time Martha plays stark raving crazy.  She dresses me up like a clown in a full grown woman's uniform.  Rolls the huge skirt around my waist about four times and puts a huge safety pin in it to hold it up.  Puts a huge blouse on me that stops at my ankles.  Puts these "broke down" brown combat boot looking shoes on me with raggedy holey socks, fixes my hair like buckwheat and smeared lipstick around my mouth and forced me to go to my Girl Scout meeting.  I'm eight and I know this***** is crazy as a loon.  What can I do, I'm eight yeas old?

So I quit Girl Scouts.  I was humiliated.  I never went to another meeting.  Martha continues to play whore, screwing loudly  this black ape of a husband with the door open.  He continues to molest me and she continues to play dumb.

That same year I found out that I was as blind as a bat.  Couldn't see ****!  I was so dumb I thought the world was blurry.  I thought every one just saw smeary colors.  Mrs. McDonald ordered my mother to get me glasses and she did.  I will never forget telling her; "Oh mother! The world is so beautiful!"  She cried.  The ***** boo-hooed and cried.  I thought that meant that she really loved me after all.

Some times Martha would be nice to me.  Most of the time she was just a perverted sneak.  The poor lady was always unhappy.  She never had enough money.  She hated any and every one unlucky enough to be born darker than her.  "Why I have all dese black ass younguns!!!!?" She would scream at GOD.

Time after time there was Martha, stealing something, destroying something.  Beating and cursing us viciously.  Beating babies, calling us vile vulgar names and hauling us to church.  Vacillating between loving and hating her father and loving and hating us.

I finally got grown,but I was never free.  I stayed away for nine years.  She became a preacher.  I thought every thing was cool.   We could finally be a real family.  Little did I know.  She became a preacher just so she could pull off her most demonic schemes and dreams.

She is a foul nasty thing.  Too repugnant to tell on.  My friend that declares that no woman would ever do such things; "Shut up! and quit spreading ignorance."

About a month ago I started taking medication for my depression. I take it every day.  I'm glad I finally found this drug.  GOD is healing me.  Yea, I'm telling. "I can't keep it to myself."

You've done a lot of terrible things to me and my brothers over the last seventy years. You destroyed all of my manuscripts and masters thesis, "rooted" me out of house and home over and over.  Hated me for existing and "out doing " you.  I earned a college degree with honors while maintaining my "virginity".

You are a jealous hater.  You can't love anyone.  I survived you.  I've gone from survivor to thrivor! It was nothing I did.  Everything I've done and everything I have achieved has been by the Grace of Almighty GOD.

 For some strange reason I never wanted to kill you.  Just wanted to love you, just wanted you to love me.  You can't love anyone and looks like you can't die.  Could it be that GOD is waiting on you to repent?  You might make it to a hundred and ten, huh?

I would not be you for all the money and power in the world.  I refuse to be one of your spineless minions and I reuse to shut up.  It gives me great comfort to tell on you.  You are going to have to come better than screaming ;"Liar! Liar!"  You are going to have to come clean.  The A.M.E.Zion Church is going to have to come clean about harboring such a "preacher" as you.

You're going to do something to one of my brothers real soon.  You can't go too long without backstabbing.  They are going to wake up, one by one.  They know you.  None of them, not one of them can call me a liar.

You notice how no one has jumped to your defense.  To think, all theses years we just thought you were nasty and psychotic.  Now, we have to add "root working back stabbing soothsayer" to your legacy.  And never forget MURDERER!  You slipped so low you MURDERED your own daddy!

Get up out of that hole!  Come to Jesus!  Tell him that you were an ignorant whore that lost her mind!  He'll forgive you.  You are already forgiven.  Repent of your sins.  (They are no longer secret.  I made sure of that.)

"You will get your just and ...

honest due on this planet earth."  GOD told me that many years ago.  I didn't know why then.  I just repeated it, taught it to my students.  I used to tell my mother that all the time.  I didn't know why her lips would get tight and she would become absolutely silent.

To know Martha is to know silence is not part of her persona.  She always accused me or running off at the mouth.  But, she is the one. She talks incessantly.  She talks in her sleep.  She really does.  So those rare moments when she would suddenly become sullen and silent stuck out in my mind.

Two of my proverbial mantras always disturbed her. The one about justice and the other, always quoting Jesus;"Fear no man!" would stop her dead in her tracks.   I understand now "fear" is what she needs, depends on.  The truth is it is kind of hard to fear and 86 year old frail woman.  Especially one that pretends to be a Christian.  She can't cuss as vulgarly as she used to.  She can't lay hands on you and chase you down.  No more belts, ropes, silk stockings and gags.

Her;"I'm just sending up timber." rings hollow.  A mother that hates you for telling the truth instead of thanking you.  A woman that re-tells disgusting lies on her father in order to look innocent.  A fool that really thinks she successfully stole her father's mantel, his good name, is standing in the need of prayer.

I can only repeat what my grandfather always said; "Come by here LORD somebody needs you!"  Somebody needs you LORD!  I will not be forced to hate a demon.  I will not cling to a cowardly beaten down abused family too terrified to know the truth.

Martha Jane Walters is an awful woman.  She is sadistic and cruel.  There is no lie too low for her to tell.  She loves no one, including herself.  Only the extremely gullible and fragile can believe in her.  I am still troubled by the low common things she did to me and in my presence.  I cannot be the only one.  Deed after deed that she didn't mind me knowing.  We just better not tell.  If you are "ashamed" to have it told, if you don't want the world to know you did it, why did you do it?

You are a thief Martha!  All your life you stole innocence, joy, virginity, dignity, careers, good names.  You demand to be called "Reverend" while living a totally irreverent disgusting reprobate life.  You never intend to change.  You are hoping that your simple minded minions will fear you to the grave.  They may.  I won't.

I will not hate you.  I will pray for you every day of my life.  Granddaddy could never penetrate that thick head of yours.  You were very bright and intelligent.  Yet you lacked the self discipline to study, to earn a college degree.  You opted for the easiest course, an associates degree in secretarial science at 37 years old!  You weren't satisfied that's why you always lied about being a few hours from your PH.D.

I know you never loved me.  But why did you feel the need to torture me?  To torture all of us on the sly, on the sneak.  I always wondered why you called me a sneaky snake behind my back.  No, Martha, you are the sneaky snake.  Psychiatrists call that projecting.   You project your evil deeds on the innocent just so you can tolerate yourself.

You always taught my brothers and family members to hate me.  With that you have been pretty successful.   If they are dumb enough to believe you, I don't need their love.  You were never able to manipulate my grandfather into believing your rot.  Is that why you murdered him?

No, I will not hate you.  When you look in the mirror you see a pathological liar, a sexual predator, a pedophile, a MURDERER, a fake phony "Christian".  No I will not hate you.  I will feel sorry for you and your kind.  I will pray for your minions and your "church".  I will pray for all of your friends and relatives that are too terrified to tell you GOD's Gospel Truth.

I pray that my brother's will come to GOD's marvelous light and embrace GOD's Gospel Truth.  I do pray that you will give up your abominable ignorance and pride.  Admit that you did evil and fell low.  GOD still loves you.  Pride goeth before a fall and you will get your just and honest due on this planet earth.

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember' "Apart from Christ you are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster, (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)