Thursday, February 21, 2013
"I found the answer..."
Mahalia Jackson's melodious voice reverberated in my head and my heart; "I found the answer...and I love to pray."
I cleaned the house, scrubbed the bathroom, washed dishes, vacuumed the floors "singing" trying to mimic that beautiful voice. I was happy. It never occurred to me that I was merely a quarry slave. How could I know that other eight year olds were busy at play while I was cleaning an apartment?
I didn't mind. I loved seeing the house clean. My "mother" loved music. We had a Hi-fi, (High Fidelity), and stacks of albums. Every album Mahalia Jackson every made. There was Ray Charles, Sam Cooke, Garnet Mims, Dave Brubeck and his Orchestra. Her collection was eclectic. We were guaranteed to hear music everyday, all day.
"When she was good, she was very very good. When she was bad, she was very very bad." That was Martha. You could never know what to expect. There were days she baked cookies and molasses bread. And there were days she beat us mercilessly. There were days she bought us books and read to us and there were days she did "evil things".
I must say that for my whole life she has kept me mystified and for most of my life terrified. Martha Jane Walters is a monster. She is an old monster now. One with feeble claws and no teeth. Her roar has grown very weak. Unfortunately, still blind, still deaf and dumb, ... still defiant.
I found the answer. She is not coming! She will not come to Christ! She said that she will not repent and she won't. It is a shame but it is her choice. The Bible says; "Judge not that you be not judged." I am not judging her. I am finally recognizing her. You may want and pray for something your entire life. GOD does not guarantee that you are going to get it. I am gaining strength, accepting this awful truth.
I went to the elders, the pastor of my Apostolic Pentecostal church. They prayed with me and prayed for me as I wailed for my "mother's" salvation. Salvation that has not come.
"There is none so blind as he who refuses to see." You can not help a person that refuses to be wrong. You can not bring a pathological liar to the truth. You can not make a person that is void of empathy care for others.
Dear LORD I do mourn for the mother I never had. I do not mourn for the "mother" that sneered at me and allowed; "You remember too much!"
I do not mourn for the woman that received her son after a twenty-five year estrangement with fear and skepticism. Never shed one tear, actually bragged that she was happy that he had experienced great tragedy. Lost his medical practice, his life savings, his wife and son. It tickled her. Delighted her. Pretended that GOD had punished him for "forsuking" her.
No, she will not change. So lost in seeking revenge she will never find her way. According to her we owe her. She had us, had us out of wedlock and suffered humiliation. No decent man ever wanted to marry her "because I had you bastard younguns."
No, Martha, no decent man ever wanted to marry you because you were a sick manipulative, clamorous, violent "root working" whore. You have never accepted responsibility for your actions and I doubt that you ever will. Your mountain of lies will never get you to the truth.
The fact is you don't want to know the truth. You are not mentally ill. You are not bi-polar or confused. You are Evil! Please permit me to remind you that cruelty is not courage.
You are a cruel coward determined to die and go to hell. Determined to take as many as you can with you. You will die with a million lies on your lips. I can not say that you will suffer. You would have to have a conscious to suffer.
Christ suffered on that cross for us, for you. You could not care less. No, I doubt you will suffer. You will not shed one tear. Any woman that could do what you did to your son and never care is a complete abomination. You are disgusting in the eyes of man and GOD.
Any daughter that could plot the murder of her father and never shed a tear is beyond human comprehension.
It occurred to me that when Jesus told satan; "Get thee behind me!" He didn't try to save satan. Jesus didn't go to His Father seeking answers to steer satan back on the right path.
Dear LORD what is the point of her long life if she refuses salvation, if she clings to a demonic existence? The answer came; "Daughter I want the world to know how sick and depraved a person can become with me."
My grandfather said it everyday of his life, he told you over and over; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
Stay in His WORD children.
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
I cleaned the house, scrubbed the bathroom, washed dishes, vacuumed the floors "singing" trying to mimic that beautiful voice. I was happy. It never occurred to me that I was merely a quarry slave. How could I know that other eight year olds were busy at play while I was cleaning an apartment?
I didn't mind. I loved seeing the house clean. My "mother" loved music. We had a Hi-fi, (High Fidelity), and stacks of albums. Every album Mahalia Jackson every made. There was Ray Charles, Sam Cooke, Garnet Mims, Dave Brubeck and his Orchestra. Her collection was eclectic. We were guaranteed to hear music everyday, all day.
"When she was good, she was very very good. When she was bad, she was very very bad." That was Martha. You could never know what to expect. There were days she baked cookies and molasses bread. And there were days she beat us mercilessly. There were days she bought us books and read to us and there were days she did "evil things".
I must say that for my whole life she has kept me mystified and for most of my life terrified. Martha Jane Walters is a monster. She is an old monster now. One with feeble claws and no teeth. Her roar has grown very weak. Unfortunately, still blind, still deaf and dumb, ... still defiant.
I found the answer. She is not coming! She will not come to Christ! She said that she will not repent and she won't. It is a shame but it is her choice. The Bible says; "Judge not that you be not judged." I am not judging her. I am finally recognizing her. You may want and pray for something your entire life. GOD does not guarantee that you are going to get it. I am gaining strength, accepting this awful truth.
I went to the elders, the pastor of my Apostolic Pentecostal church. They prayed with me and prayed for me as I wailed for my "mother's" salvation. Salvation that has not come.
"There is none so blind as he who refuses to see." You can not help a person that refuses to be wrong. You can not bring a pathological liar to the truth. You can not make a person that is void of empathy care for others.
Dear LORD I do mourn for the mother I never had. I do not mourn for the "mother" that sneered at me and allowed; "You remember too much!"
I do not mourn for the woman that received her son after a twenty-five year estrangement with fear and skepticism. Never shed one tear, actually bragged that she was happy that he had experienced great tragedy. Lost his medical practice, his life savings, his wife and son. It tickled her. Delighted her. Pretended that GOD had punished him for "forsuking" her.
No, she will not change. So lost in seeking revenge she will never find her way. According to her we owe her. She had us, had us out of wedlock and suffered humiliation. No decent man ever wanted to marry her "because I had you bastard younguns."
No, Martha, no decent man ever wanted to marry you because you were a sick manipulative, clamorous, violent "root working" whore. You have never accepted responsibility for your actions and I doubt that you ever will. Your mountain of lies will never get you to the truth.
The fact is you don't want to know the truth. You are not mentally ill. You are not bi-polar or confused. You are Evil! Please permit me to remind you that cruelty is not courage.
You are a cruel coward determined to die and go to hell. Determined to take as many as you can with you. You will die with a million lies on your lips. I can not say that you will suffer. You would have to have a conscious to suffer.
Christ suffered on that cross for us, for you. You could not care less. No, I doubt you will suffer. You will not shed one tear. Any woman that could do what you did to your son and never care is a complete abomination. You are disgusting in the eyes of man and GOD.
Any daughter that could plot the murder of her father and never shed a tear is beyond human comprehension.
It occurred to me that when Jesus told satan; "Get thee behind me!" He didn't try to save satan. Jesus didn't go to His Father seeking answers to steer satan back on the right path.
Dear LORD what is the point of her long life if she refuses salvation, if she clings to a demonic existence? The answer came; "Daughter I want the world to know how sick and depraved a person can become with me."
My grandfather said it everyday of his life, he told you over and over; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
Stay in His WORD children.
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Monday, February 18, 2013
Just jealous!
Just jealous...just plain primitively jealous. Jealous as the first caveman or jealous as Caine was of Abel.
There are some people on this earth that don't want to see anyone prosper ever, in anything!
When you are jealous of your own new born baby, pray! When you are constantly comparing your life, your things to everyone you see and meet, pray!
When your sick evil mind makes you conjure up demonic sex acts in order to ruin and destroy little children, your own little children, pray!
If you are so stupid that you think that your long life meant that GOD didn't mind the horrible things that you did, that GOD blessed you and looked the other way, pray!
If you used your feminine wiles and lust against your own sons, pray!
If you are still trying to figure out how you are going to get off this planet and sneak into heaven without repenting of your sins, pray!
If you are still harboring hatred in your heart for everyone that ever "snitched" on you, pray!
If you have no remorse for the horrible life you have lived and the thousands you have harmed in the process, pray!
If you are still sneaking down to the graveyard at midnight collecting "goofer dust", pray!
If you are still plotting on others to take their money so you can gamble at the casino and bingo, pray!
If you are still crawling up in somebody's pulpit praying someone else's prayer that you memorized, pray!
If you would rather destroy your whole family and see them all in hell because you are too stubborn, too evil to repent, pray!
There are some people on this earth that don't want to see anyone prosper ever, in anything!
When you are jealous of your own new born baby, pray! When you are constantly comparing your life, your things to everyone you see and meet, pray!
When your sick evil mind makes you conjure up demonic sex acts in order to ruin and destroy little children, your own little children, pray!
If you are so stupid that you think that your long life meant that GOD didn't mind the horrible things that you did, that GOD blessed you and looked the other way, pray!
If you used your feminine wiles and lust against your own sons, pray!
If you are still trying to figure out how you are going to get off this planet and sneak into heaven without repenting of your sins, pray!
If you are still harboring hatred in your heart for everyone that ever "snitched" on you, pray!
If you have no remorse for the horrible life you have lived and the thousands you have harmed in the process, pray!
If you are still sneaking down to the graveyard at midnight collecting "goofer dust", pray!
If you are still plotting on others to take their money so you can gamble at the casino and bingo, pray!
If you are still crawling up in somebody's pulpit praying someone else's prayer that you memorized, pray!
If you would rather destroy your whole family and see them all in hell because you are too stubborn, too evil to repent, pray!
Don't search, claim!
How often have you heard someone say that they are searching for GOD, or searching for Truth? GOD is not in hiding, some elusive being that only the most brilliant minds can comprehend.
If you want goodness, the Gospel and all righteousness, you can have it. The first thing you must do is rid yourself of the idea that you are going to miss something. Stop believing that lie from the devil that a saved sanctified life is a boring "dead" existence.
I truly know that there is no greater happiness, no greater joy, no greater peace can you have on this earth when you surrender your life totally to Christ. A surrendered life is a joyous life! It is serene and pure. Nothing a miscreant can do will bother you. (You will stop cussing in traffic lol) When you have the Holy Ghost burning in your heart you don't have to cuss anyone out or plot revenge. You will gladly pray for them.
They will continue to assail you, try to rock your world, but you will shake your head and move on.
When you have the Holy Ghost you will not stay up nights wondering how you are going to pay your bills. The love of Christ will not let you be concerned with the demons on this earth that hate you, rebuke you, lie on you and torment you daily. You will smile and go on your peaceful way.
No, don't search claim! "Name it and claim it!" Don't pretend to be happy, Be Happy! Don't compare your life to others. Thank GOD for your unique life, your GOD guided path. Thank Him for every injury that made you stronger. Thank Him for dwelling in your heart.
I'll never forget that serene peaceful look on my grandfather's face as he lay dead in his casket. It was beautiful, marvelous, calming. I know now that he was smiling down from heaven, glad to be gone from this old world of trouble and condemnation. I am sure he had grown weary fighting unbelievers.
Not only was my grandfather the most brilliant man I ever heard of or knew he was patient. Never cross, never short tempered. That was the Christ in Him.
I too desire to be more Christ-like, cool under fire. I desire to love my enemies.
I will not sell out to the devil. I will fear no evil. I will not wait on a demon-etess to die. I will not be denied the joy GOD promised me. I will read and study my Bible every day of my life.
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of GOD? Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolators,nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind." I Corinthians 6:9
Don't get mad with me and abuse me because I told you, because I reminded you of GOD's Holy WORD. Don't hate me because you hate GOD's WORD. And don't you dare try to hide behind GOD's WORD. Don't spin lies and back lies and try to intimidate me into believing your false facade.
"The Truth is the Light and the Truth will set You FREE!"
It is one thing to be thick and incorrigible, a stiff neck demon determined to burn in hell. But, you have no right to take your family with you. You have no right to fool your sons and grandchildren. You have no right to hold yourself out as something that You know that you aren't.
I Peter 2: 9 "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvellous light:"
"Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of GOD: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy."
(Keep reading) 2: 23 "Who, when He was reviled, reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not: but committed Himself to Him that judgeth righteously:"
Praise the LORD! Thank Him for His WORD.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
If you want goodness, the Gospel and all righteousness, you can have it. The first thing you must do is rid yourself of the idea that you are going to miss something. Stop believing that lie from the devil that a saved sanctified life is a boring "dead" existence.
I truly know that there is no greater happiness, no greater joy, no greater peace can you have on this earth when you surrender your life totally to Christ. A surrendered life is a joyous life! It is serene and pure. Nothing a miscreant can do will bother you. (You will stop cussing in traffic lol) When you have the Holy Ghost burning in your heart you don't have to cuss anyone out or plot revenge. You will gladly pray for them.
They will continue to assail you, try to rock your world, but you will shake your head and move on.
When you have the Holy Ghost you will not stay up nights wondering how you are going to pay your bills. The love of Christ will not let you be concerned with the demons on this earth that hate you, rebuke you, lie on you and torment you daily. You will smile and go on your peaceful way.
No, don't search claim! "Name it and claim it!" Don't pretend to be happy, Be Happy! Don't compare your life to others. Thank GOD for your unique life, your GOD guided path. Thank Him for every injury that made you stronger. Thank Him for dwelling in your heart.
I'll never forget that serene peaceful look on my grandfather's face as he lay dead in his casket. It was beautiful, marvelous, calming. I know now that he was smiling down from heaven, glad to be gone from this old world of trouble and condemnation. I am sure he had grown weary fighting unbelievers.
Not only was my grandfather the most brilliant man I ever heard of or knew he was patient. Never cross, never short tempered. That was the Christ in Him.
I too desire to be more Christ-like, cool under fire. I desire to love my enemies.
I will not sell out to the devil. I will fear no evil. I will not wait on a demon-etess to die. I will not be denied the joy GOD promised me. I will read and study my Bible every day of my life.
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of GOD? Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolators,nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind." I Corinthians 6:9
Don't get mad with me and abuse me because I told you, because I reminded you of GOD's Holy WORD. Don't hate me because you hate GOD's WORD. And don't you dare try to hide behind GOD's WORD. Don't spin lies and back lies and try to intimidate me into believing your false facade.
"The Truth is the Light and the Truth will set You FREE!"
It is one thing to be thick and incorrigible, a stiff neck demon determined to burn in hell. But, you have no right to take your family with you. You have no right to fool your sons and grandchildren. You have no right to hold yourself out as something that You know that you aren't.
I Peter 2: 9 "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvellous light:"
"Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of GOD: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy."
(Keep reading) 2: 23 "Who, when He was reviled, reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not: but committed Himself to Him that judgeth righteously:"
Praise the LORD! Thank Him for His WORD.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Dear LORD I pray for...
every sick whore on this earth. Sin is sickness. You don't feel good, you can't. You are doubled over in pain, shame and grief. You can't pick your head.
I pray for every one bound up in sick sin, doing anything for money. Degrading themselves, performing sick demonic acts for a few dollars. No amount of money is enough!
My poor mother spread five twenty dollar bills under my nose when I was fourteen and sneered; "Gwen! Know how I got dis hunnard dollars?...sold some p*****!"
I am sure the look in my eyes let her know that I wasn't impressed. That was not the route I intended to take. I was a ravenous reader with a genius IQ. Selling my body to get money or to get ahead never crossed my mind.
Sometimes she would tell me that I was beautiful. "Gal you got a shape on you! You make a bulldog hug a hound!" We laughed.
She kept telling me that I was sitting on a gold mine. I kept going to the library and making good grades.
Dear LORD thank you for delivering me from that path. Thank you for delivering me from that woman.
Dear LORD deliver her from herself.
Deliver her from the unnecessary pain and anguish she has suffered for 88 years. This is my prayer in Jesus' Mighty Anointed name.
"And It is Done!" PTL!
I pray for every one bound up in sick sin, doing anything for money. Degrading themselves, performing sick demonic acts for a few dollars. No amount of money is enough!
My poor mother spread five twenty dollar bills under my nose when I was fourteen and sneered; "Gwen! Know how I got dis hunnard dollars?...sold some p*****!"
I am sure the look in my eyes let her know that I wasn't impressed. That was not the route I intended to take. I was a ravenous reader with a genius IQ. Selling my body to get money or to get ahead never crossed my mind.
Sometimes she would tell me that I was beautiful. "Gal you got a shape on you! You make a bulldog hug a hound!" We laughed.
She kept telling me that I was sitting on a gold mine. I kept going to the library and making good grades.
Dear LORD thank you for delivering me from that path. Thank you for delivering me from that woman.
Dear LORD deliver her from herself.
Deliver her from the unnecessary pain and anguish she has suffered for 88 years. This is my prayer in Jesus' Mighty Anointed name.
"And It is Done!" PTL!
Another Good Morning!
Praise the LORD! Thank you for waking me up one more time! Thank you for placing my feet on the path of that "Great Getting Up Morning".
Thank You for waking me up in my right mind delivered from the most diabolical evil ever conceived!
Dear LORD "I look back and wonder how I got over"? Dear LORD she is a shame and an abomination, a scourge, a complete embarrassment, a demon possessed woman that won't get right.
Praise the LORD! Thank you for delivering me, for delivering my daughter and all that want to be free of this curse.
Oh yes, she is a curse. Her father left 65 acres of prime forest land situated on I-95. Complete with a man made lake, vineyards and orchards, and a rambling ranch house. Where is it? Her father sent her to the black Harvard, Virginia Union University. What happened?
Martha Jane Walters is a femme fatale! That is French for an evil whore void of all morals, totally without scruples, a conscious, or any sense of decency. A woman determined to use her feminine wiles to get her way. A fool that thinks she can out smart GOD and every human being on this earth.
For my whole life I knew that I better not think about correcting her, contradicting her, out doing her, getting a compliment, gift, award, or certificate. My eyes better stay cast down, I better be unhappy and miserable. I better not brag on myself. No one could ever love me. Not my brothers, not my uncle or cousins. My granddaddy wasn't supposed to love me. She tried to ruin me, tried to make me unloveable. Had me raped and ruined by her crow black demonic "huzband". Tried to lead me into prostitution, tried to block my path to success at every turn.
It didn't work! Praise the LORD!
"I look back and wonder how I got over". I don't have to wonder because I know it was the hand of My Almighty GOD! Praise the LORD.
True, Mathy Jane has done a lot of wrong in her 88 years on this earth. Truthfully she has no business in GOD's Heaven, ever! But if the Truth were told, none of us have any business in GOD's Kingdom. None of us are worthy. "All of us have sinned and fall short." That is why Jesus told us ;"That even in the last hour you can come into the Kingdom."
I feel so sorry for Martha still screaming that she is not "repentin' fa' s***!". It hurts me that she can preach so eloquently in a beautiful melodious voice. She has the right diction, incorporates smooth mesmerizing words in her lexicon. Puts on a dynamic show. Delivers a good sermon that I am sure delivers many. Too bad she could never deliver herself.
Praise the LORD. Pray for Martha. Pray that GOD will touch her wayward heart, her sin sick soul with a finger of love. Pray that she will finally be delivered from the legion of demons that have plagued her for her entire life.
Pray for your own deliverance. Thank Him for saving you. For giving you ears to hear and eyes to see. Praise the LORD!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn(the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Thank You for waking me up in my right mind delivered from the most diabolical evil ever conceived!
Dear LORD "I look back and wonder how I got over"? Dear LORD she is a shame and an abomination, a scourge, a complete embarrassment, a demon possessed woman that won't get right.
Praise the LORD! Thank you for delivering me, for delivering my daughter and all that want to be free of this curse.
Oh yes, she is a curse. Her father left 65 acres of prime forest land situated on I-95. Complete with a man made lake, vineyards and orchards, and a rambling ranch house. Where is it? Her father sent her to the black Harvard, Virginia Union University. What happened?
Martha Jane Walters is a femme fatale! That is French for an evil whore void of all morals, totally without scruples, a conscious, or any sense of decency. A woman determined to use her feminine wiles to get her way. A fool that thinks she can out smart GOD and every human being on this earth.
For my whole life I knew that I better not think about correcting her, contradicting her, out doing her, getting a compliment, gift, award, or certificate. My eyes better stay cast down, I better be unhappy and miserable. I better not brag on myself. No one could ever love me. Not my brothers, not my uncle or cousins. My granddaddy wasn't supposed to love me. She tried to ruin me, tried to make me unloveable. Had me raped and ruined by her crow black demonic "huzband". Tried to lead me into prostitution, tried to block my path to success at every turn.
It didn't work! Praise the LORD!
"I look back and wonder how I got over". I don't have to wonder because I know it was the hand of My Almighty GOD! Praise the LORD.
True, Mathy Jane has done a lot of wrong in her 88 years on this earth. Truthfully she has no business in GOD's Heaven, ever! But if the Truth were told, none of us have any business in GOD's Kingdom. None of us are worthy. "All of us have sinned and fall short." That is why Jesus told us ;"That even in the last hour you can come into the Kingdom."
I feel so sorry for Martha still screaming that she is not "repentin' fa' s***!". It hurts me that she can preach so eloquently in a beautiful melodious voice. She has the right diction, incorporates smooth mesmerizing words in her lexicon. Puts on a dynamic show. Delivers a good sermon that I am sure delivers many. Too bad she could never deliver herself.
Praise the LORD. Pray for Martha. Pray that GOD will touch her wayward heart, her sin sick soul with a finger of love. Pray that she will finally be delivered from the legion of demons that have plagued her for her entire life.
Pray for your own deliverance. Thank Him for saving you. For giving you ears to hear and eyes to see. Praise the LORD!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn(the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
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