Let me hurry up and tell...

you how good GOD is! Who do you think enabled me to retire at 57? My mother, my own dear sweet mother , that I completely forgave for everything in 1997!  I threw it all in the sea of forgetfulness.

We were thick as thieves . I showered her with gifts . I finally had a mother . She was an ordained minister and I was proud.

"GAWD, sit high , but He lows low!"

He sure does! PTL!

GOD will take care of you

Yes He will! I was three.  Yes, she broke my heart over and over for 62 years.  But she never broke my spirit! Praise the LORD!

Don't ask me how I know.  All I know is, I know.  They played this song at my grandmother Rachel's funeral.  I was three years old.  I remember the nurses dressed in white uniforms, the nurse hats, the smelling salts, the black hearse.

Wow! GOD is Good!

I will say this a few more times.  If you are a "cloak-er" of a MURDERER,  you are accursed.  Read your Bible.  Read about Covenant blessings.  If you are blood kin of Jerome Walters and you defer to a dead demon out of habit or fear, you are accursed.

To be accursed means you will never prosper.  You money will run through your hand like sand.

GREGORY ISAACS\ NIGHT NURSE FULL ALBUM

Peter Tosh-That's What They Will Do

Please forgive them.   But make sure you know that extremely evil mothers are absolutely the lowest vermin on earth.  I forgive her because she was human.  But her memory will suffer for her merciless, heartless foul cunning.

STAY OFF OF GRAVES!

I would be a ghost!

Seriously, if I died suddenly, like right now, I would come back!

Why!?

"I ain't ready to go!  I have some unfinished business."

It is funny!  I love living and this **** is painful!  Most people are blistering blithering idiots.  Selfish, lying, whorish, broke, begging, needing.  I know there are some good people.  (Mighty few, though)  If you have good friends and family please value them.

If there is a scum bag in your family, out them and move on.  NEVER , EVER PUT UP WITH PATHOLOGICAL LIARS!  A pathological liar, is a liar, so common they will keep lying, knowing damn well , you know they are lying.  They will spin back-lies, half-lies, little white-lies, trying to convince you, you,  are the one with the problem.

They will bring major drama, cursing, fighting, breaking, busting, tearing down, tearing up, and throwing a fit until you finally just give up.  Some that are very cowardly will run from you, leave the home for a few days, until you cool off, until you come to your senses.

Dear LORD! Deliver the righteous from such  a succubus, a vexation of the spirit!

These predatory vipers use your love against you.  If you do in fact love them, you are in trouble.

And if they are common enough to put on a begging, crying, pitiful act….RUN!

Love yourself!  Love GOD!  Yes, GOD first!  But,  love yourself.  Have some standards.  Establish boundaries.  Be quick to hear.  Learn to listen, to comprehend.  Don't simply wait your turn to talk, silently planning your vitriolic stinging response,  rather than hearing the opposing party.

"Lean not to your own understanding."  Keep assuming you know anything.   My story is not about race!  My story is NOT a black story.  It is a HUMAN tragedy!  (Any one too dumb to get that,   any slow -to- comprehend person , that keeps insisting that I keep my secrets because my story may embarrass black people.  To you I say;"drop dead" and "the letters will let until they be taken out of the way".  Get out of GOD's way!  Go read a book! Acquire some real knowledge!  Stop repeating myths and above all stop HATING!

We have human tragedies precisely because people are human.  "Human" as in as close to an "animalistic" state as we can get and still resist running in packs and sniffing each other's butt when we greet each other.   Man in his human condition is carnal, selfish, and greedy.  He is uncivilized.

Remember:

• We did not come here to stay always
• Life is a vapor at the longest
• It is what you do for Christ that lasts
• Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD and all else will be added unto you
• Pray and study your Bible everyday
• Bless as many as you can while you can.  If you can not give them money, offer them your hard won wisdom 

P.S.  I am not the Christian you want to shun.  I am proud of my scars.  Shun the perfect one that claims to have always been perfect.  By the time my mother died at 87, I think she thought she was a virgin! LOL

If you want to be happy ...

c

for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. Of course this in not true.  But Jimmy Soul must have met my mother. She was beautiful on the outside.

The hardest part of my ...

journey has been trying to shed this ridiculous feeling of repugnance.  My evil mother did deliberately make  feel like the most repulsive, repugnant piece of dung on the bottom of her shoe.  She delighted in it.  Was extremely secretive about it.  Which means she was in full possession of all her faculties.

I do think Martha's greatest gift was mind manipulation.  She bragged about it; "I kin scramble any nigga's brains."

She did not lie on that score.  How else can you explain five grown men remaining allied to a dead demon?

No thanks!  Did I eventually see through her extremely complicated web of lies because of my gender? Is it because I eventually became a mother?  I must say I was shocked when that wave of love swept over me the minute my precious little baby girl busted through my "bottom" like a 1955 Buick!

She was worth it!  Every bit of mother hen came out of me.  I hid and guarded her the same way a feral cat hides her kittens.  I announced to everyone; " Come see her in the hospital, behind the glass or wait until she is six weeks old!  Don't bring your disease ridden bodies around my baby."

I was called crazy!  I didn't give a damn!  'This is MY Baby!  I sacrificed my life to get this baby.  (I had no money for artificial insemination, never thought about it.  My friend had the prettiest baby I had ever seen and I wanted one!  Made it my business to seek out a "mate".)

Is it instinctive?  I never wanted to see my child suffer a headache.  Day one flash cards and a book in my hand, in my daughters face.  She would have a leg up!   No public school would ever get the opportunity to dumb up my child.   No more club for me!    GOD told me my job was to nurture that child FIRST!

I just want to take one moment to brag about GOD's Divine Order:

c

• I was so severely sexually molested as a young child (all orchestrated , plotted and planned by my low devious mother) that I became chaste, truly crucified my flesh.  It was easy.  I can't brag. When you carry the images my mother showered on me, it is easy to never be carnal.  From what I have observed among my family and friends and according to all of the viagra and erictile disfunction commercials,  sex must really be something good.   Like that old Blues song goes; " You can't miss what you can't measure…so go on and have a little pleasure...you can't miss what you never had …how sad."
• She cursed and beat me like a mangy dog, I learned to love being alone.  I loved being any where she wasn't.  I loved to read,  to think, to dream of oe day escaping her prison.
• I turned to art, painting, drawing.  I know now why I make dolls, turn all of my gourds into "big breasted " mammies .   I was never breast feed.   My evil mother did not so much as bottle feed me.   We did not bond.  Good!  I have no problem revealing her.
• I was so mistreated and suffered daily for being born, for being black, for being a bastard, for being smart, for every compliment, for every gift any one was kind enough to give me.  For my Aunt Virginia taking a jar of water and a can of Royal Crown  hair grease and making me beautiful!  For covering my head in Shirley Temple curls, for telling me I had "water and grease knots".   I was so miserable I sought the LORD!
• Trying to win her love,  I went too far.  Graduating from college with honors,  without a penny from her.  Her father sent all of the money he made on his crop of tobacco, for who knows how many years, before it was discovered that the pathological liar had told another lie and she was not even in school!
• Surviving and thriving after her merciless parenting has taught me that I can do anything with GOD! And to always Praise the LORD!

(I do thank my FB friend for this scripture.  GOD sent it directly to me through her.  GOD bless her ministry abundantly.)

2 Thessalonians 2:7
"For the mystery of iniquity doth already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way."

Old evil,  lecherous,  root working,  women , like my mother,  will continue to sit in doorways beckoning with their beauty and fluttering their long eyelashes , deliberately directing our youth into captivity.   Some of these women are so evil and devious, so threatening, so terrorizing and brutal they must be taken  out of the way before the innocent can even begin to heal.

She is gone now.  We can all breathe a sign of relief collectively.

Remember what GOD told me in 1982; "You get your just and honest due on this planet earth."

Praise the LORD!