"Pay them no mind."

"Don't pay no 'tention tuh yo' mama…she ignut."  Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD!  You do not have to be a Rhodes Scholar to have the wisdom of a Rhodes Scholar!

I loved my grandfather's vernacular.  Syllables he didn't need, he quickly dispensed with.  "You wa'sum'n'tet?" [translation: Do you want something to eat?]

You had to have a quick ear to pick up on his patois, southern dialect.  Society would label my grandfather just another  dumb dirt farmer.  Wrong!

Jerome Walters was an unsung hero, a martyr.   A good Christian man MURDERED by his despicably evil diabolically malignant narcissistic daughter!    A woman that got away with the most repulsive crimes unimaginable FOR 87 YEARS  because she was beautiful,  a brilliant liar, and a brilliant actress,  that was stellar in her cunning, gifted in witchcraft, exciting and persuasive in her  phony "preaching".

satan transformed her into a beast so terrifying she had to die to be approached!   I do believe my mother was well aware of her illness, sickness, affliction, of her disgusting repugnance.   She knew!  And she knew I knew.  (No, I didn't know it all, but I certainly knew enough to never fully trust her.) That is certainly why she cursed us and threatened us every day of our lives.

Unfortunately it was a repugnance that she wanted, that she preferred.  She was not ashamed of her decision, of her impulse to take on multiple young lovers in my presence, in the broad open day room in the broad open day light.  She was "pissed" with me for making such a big deal of it.  For my screaming and carrying on like she had done something wrong.  I was a 19 year old "goody two shoes", what did I know?

Martha stared straight, drove her long, brand new Cadillac down Bragg Boulevard as straight and as fast as an arrow, like she was the Queen of Seba and I was the scourge of the world.   Me, a little black, dusty, street urchin, bothering her  with my complaints .  Expecting her to be "decent", expecting her to pass up a chance for pure pleasure.

There was nothing I could do.  Martha refused to talk to me, to accept responsibility.  At least she didm't lie this time, didn't curse me out,  didn't threaten to shoot or stab me.   No, I left it (her carnal nature) alone.   I knew better than to  ever bring it up again.  I knew to just forget it immediately.  I knew this was just something else in Mathy's long list of things and deeds in her personal "sea of forgetfulness".

"I threw that in the 'sea of forgetfulness' ";  was Martha's favorite quote when corned too long for some cruel misdeed.  Never an apology, never an  "I'm sorry".  It was always; "You duh fool!  You let me!"

"Leave heah and don't nevah come back!" were the words of my grandfather to me, to us,  when we were still teenagers, still trying to survive her, still trying to  graduate high school.  (No shoes, no clothes, no money, no love…all the while placated by her decision to let us drive her long sleek Cadillac to E.E.Smith High School, posing as some "ballers".)    Also terrified, also conditioned, he (granddaddy) could not dare tells why.

"We will understand it better, by and by."

the supremes where did our love go

I realize that my poor ignorant mother lived 87 years never experiencing true love.

How sad.

Pray to love, love for real.  Pray for the ability to love sincerely.

"Be what you are ...

live your life, look up and see your maker." was a favorite song of one of  my mother's husbands, supposedly stepfather.  I never called him father or dad.  I called him Doster.  I did not like him.  Actually I hated him.  He was nasty.  He would "touch" you, lock you in the bathroom room with him and force you to watch him do things.   He was a freak.

It is understandable.  My mother was a bigger freak than he was.  Two buzzard perverts found each other decades before the Internet.  Both dumb superstitious imps.  Both hung up on "color" and "looking the part".

Both attended church every Sunday!  Served GOD with their faithful attendance.  I know now that Mathy just wanted some where to park her big fine new car, to show off.  To prove to the world that SHE didn't have to listen, that she could be wayward and still win.

Mathy was bent on disrespecting GOD.  (GAWD saddled me wid 'dese black ***** chullun!  I'll sho' Him!  Imma do eva'thng I kin tuh 'dese luddle black ******* and I AM GOING TO GIT AWAY 'CAUSE I PHONY PREACH!)

That is that "ravenous wolf in sheep's clothing" Jesus warned us about.  satan in a dress! A bouffant wig! Fine robes!  Robes of every color, every style, like SHE was the Pope!

Entertaining, hollering, putting on a floor show, never meaning ONE word!  GOD said No!  (Are you really that stupid? that disrespectful?  that thickheaded? that stiff necked?)

GOD said No!

If you can't bow down now (imps of satan) you are lost for ever!  It is Free Will!  It is your choice.  I choose GOD!  He has never failed me.  When I was being beaten and raped like a dog GOD never failed me!  When you lied on ME! Traded your sorry reprobate life for mine!  for granddaddy's,  GOD never failed me!

 I was tortured far beyond human endurance by a sick abomination from the lowest bowels of hell!  Yet I thrived! Retired after 30 successful years of brilliant teaching! Raised, nurtured, produced a "great person",  a positive, brilliant, talented, intellectual, a graduate of Boston University.   A fine young person that I DEMAND sATAN TO KEEP hIS FILTHY HANDS OFF OF!!!

 GOD turned every bit of this tragedy, my modern day nightmarish fairytale,  around in my favor!  Gave me the courage to tell the most repulsive testimony,  to people,  too weak to handle hearing it (though they must).

GOD SAVED ME!!! PICKED ME UP!  PRAISE THE LORD!

"In all thy getting ...

get understanding."  I heard my grandfather say that often.  I heard it when he taught Sunday School.  Tall, handsome, brilliant, eloquent.  I beamed as a child sitting in Wesley Chapel A.M.E.Zion Church, sitting right on Highway #301,  in Wade Station, North Carolina.

Had circumstances been different my grandfather's knowledge and teachings would have overshadowed that of  Dr. W.E.B. DuBois, Booker T. Washington, Rousseau, Thomas Paine, et al, all the great minds of our world.

How did a self educated man become so brilliant?   Manna, GOD's manna from Heaven.  GOD reveals His WORD to His Children.  My grandfather was a true Christian.  My greatest ambition is to be, to become the Christian servant my grandfather was.

My grandfather's unshakeable faith was phenomenal .  How he ended up with such a sorry impish family is understandable.  If my grandfather can be blamed for anything, it is not banishing his evil wayward daughter.   No, she should have been put away.  Put out of her misery for our protection.

I am sure like us, he could not believe her "evil" either.   No matter what foul sick deed she did, she always got up,  walked away, cool as a cucumber.    Martha could do anything, the more repugnant the better, and never let on.    She was a persistent imp, sexually perverted and sadistic to the day she finally died.  A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!

No one should be glad you are dead. But, if you are nothing but an evil vexation, something nasty, disgustingly common, known to be a closet pervert, rude, offensive, blaming, cold, hateful, sneaky, manipulative, conniving and ROOT WORKING!, people will dance on your grave.

 That is not normal.  Who misses Jeffery Domer, Adolf Hitler, Charles Mengala ?  Who misses rapists, robbers, root workers? No one!  "Lovers of all things Martha Jane" are all lying,  they are just as relieved as I am.

Who respects such a person?  Who is dumb enough to fear such a beast?  You're lying.  You are just as much a reprobate.  You to are too cowardly to admit that you prefer satan, evil, the occult, the demonic,  over GOD.  You know you are wrong but you are drawn to evil, like a moth to a flame.

You will not pray, you will not get baptized.  You secretly want to lose, to let evil win.  You are weak. Your faith is small.  You need to pray, you need to study.

satan can not win but he can embarrass you.  satan has most in my family because Mathy Jane never changed her m.o. (modus operand).  She used illicit sex, she used pleasure to snare her victims.  Martha did successfully ensure all of her victims in her evil acts.  How can my cousins admit they went to her for conjure?  (She didn't get your husband back.  She said the sorry ***** was coming back anyway.  that "white woman" didn't want him.)


Mathy being the serious sadist,  she was, did something excruciatingly  painful and debilitating  to me as an infant, rendered me a eunuch.(the body remembers).  MARTHA JANE WALTERS was an evil demonic slut!

• Pounded puppy to death between two bricks as a small child
• Severely burned two year old brother when she was six
• Severely bludgeoned same brother , opened up his skull with a frying pan
• Secretly burns, brands, rapes, robs and MURDERS for 87 years 

Why preach? To mock GOD!  Yes, she was that disrespectful! that foul! that whorish! that ignorant! that rebellious! 

How pathetically dumb, ignorant, weak, and faith-less do you have to be to still fear her?  No one is.   It is obvious all Mathy Jane supporters are just as impish, perhaps just as perverted and certainly just as ignorant.

It is magnificent! ...

It is not magic.  It is not conjure or voodoo. It does not involve lying, faking, sneaking, bending, bowing, dis-remembering, pretending to be loyal, that blood is thicker than mud.  IT IS GOD'S DIVINE ORDER.  IT IS GOD SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT!  Righting every wrong, making every crooked way straight!

Sunday, May 3, 2015  ***PRIVATE NOTES ***

My birth mother was always a very vulgar offensive woman.  "You a lie and a sack of ****!"  I'll cut yo' mutha****** balls off!  GAWD made you and GAWD damn ya'!  Yo' prayers don't get pass duh top of yo'head!  You got a de-Mon! and her favorite for me; YOU AIN'T ****!"

I am puzzled now.  Why did I allow her insults to indeed offend me? To stop me? To cause me to wail, prostrate in the floor?  

All of this torture from a rapist, brutal torturer, incestuous pedophile, had to be!   It is written.  I had to endure to the end.  Many are the afflictions of the righteous , but GOD delivers us out of them all.

GOD did and GOD will.    For 62 years Martha had to burn.    B.S. degree with honors and "virginity" in tack!   I was everything Martha ever wanted to be.  I was her everything, I was her hero.

Despite all the wrong she had deliberately done to me since before my conception.  Yet I thrived!  satan's low imp, satan's lowest whore , she had to hide her true feelings behind grandiose lies.

Her hating me was a gift from GOD, the same as King Saul hating anointed David.  I praise the LORD! I thank Him for His healing WORD!

Most people are so blind, brain washed, lost, forsaken, weak faithed, uninformed, uneducated, they do nothing but vex others and lock step.  Dumb blind piss ants following the crowd, afraid  to think, to speak up, to speak out.

I do not agree with  silent submission, quiet retreat,  suffer living the low life she designed   and finally dying, strategy my evil birth mother blasted into my brain.  She was never more than a lascivious whore,  bent on destroying everyone and everything unfortunate enough to cross her path.

She was our own mini Adolf Hitler, living with her was our own private holocaust.   So, why am I labeled the ogre?  Is it because I have a history of doing nothing but taking abuse?  The same people shunning me, disparaging my name, know I am not lying.   Simple imps for satan, like Martha, they have a form of godliness.  They have Jesus on their lips, attend church "ritualistically" , learning nothing, gaining nothing. (Imitation Christians)

"Separation is Preparation", the fact is, I do not want to be associated with people low enough, common enough, to let that woman get away with the worse lived despicable life unimaginable.   People that consider me a "whiner", while the lowest woman, person, creature,  disrespectful beast,  came here and did every low thing that crossed her mind and got away!

People that scream; "Leave her alone!" "Let her rest in peace!" "Jerome Walters is dead!"  "So what!…he was just another black *****!", have not read their Bibles.  They are not in the least bit familiar with GOD's WORD.

Do they not know this woman mocked GOD!  Stood up in a "church" behind a rostrum, a pulpit "preaching" a stolen sermon.  Entertained! Mocked GOD!  "Give her credit!…at least she preached."  GOD said No!, not Rachel.

Do you not yet  realize, she did more to keep people away from GOD, than lead people to GOD?  For years, I refused to set foot inside a church,  I feared more "Mathy Janes".  I truly believed there were more liars IN the "church" than OUT.

I am so glad that I kept on reading, kept on searching, kept on praying, kept on believing, in listening and obeying. 

I will testify of the goodness of GOD until my dying day. PRAISE THE LORD!

otis redding down in the valley

It is was down in the valley, in the valley , so low , where my own "birth mother" held me captive.  Devouring my innocence daily.  Inflicting vulgar names, habits and beliefs.

It was down in the valley so low , where GOD found me.  Suffering, blind, deaf, dumb, forgotten, wasted, cast aside for being born black, black and female, black female and intelligent.

My mother called me stupid, said innocent "do gooders" like me get devourared by the adversary, never bothering to mention she was the adversary.

GOD said No!

Otis Redding - Otis Blue (1965) Full Album