With a child's heart

Thank you LORD! Thank you for keeping me, for keeping us from all hurt,  harm and danger.  I am laughing now for failing to realize what serious danger I was always in.  GOD does put blinders on us. (HE) will put us to sleep while (HE) works on us.

Again I was fourteen.  Twenty-twenty hindsight tells me age fourteen was a very rough year for me.  I was my mother's quarry slave.  It was my responsibility to keep my mother's pig nasty filthy house clean.  I was the only girl and I  lived with three brothers , a "stepfather" and a grandfather.

My mother was a pig, a filthy pig.  I did not realize then Martha was really around twelve years old emotionally and the evil legion of demons she kept hidden came here with Jesus.  Well, I kissed her ass and thanked her for buying this second hand portable dishwasher.  I went on about how wonderful it was, how it had saved me time washing the mountain of dishes I had to wash every day.

The next morning I get up and the dishwasher is laying in the backyard on it's side, dead.  For some reason Martha got angry and cast it outside.  I knew better than to question her.  Luckily for me my attitude was "Oh well."

Yes,  I knew my mother was "crazy", loud, vulgar.  I did not know she was plagued by demons and I did not know how much she hated me and was bound and determined to destroy me secretly.

Martha was such a pathological liar, such a fake, she was disgusting.  I hated being around her.  Sadly, she knew people that really knew her,  hated being around her.  She hated people for hating her , knowing full well that she deserved to be hated.   She was a horrible person.  I do understand why she hated herself.  She should have.  What ever demons Martha had they sure made her common.  She was a nasty woman.  Martha was nasty for a man.  Men are not as common and nasty as she was.  That nasty slut was having sex with the door open on purpose.  Raged if you said something.

Why didn't we know, why didn't I know Martha was controlled by demonic spirits?  GOD reveals (HIS) will on a need to know basis.

This world needs some intervention for sex addicts and sexually perverted men and women.  How can this world help liars? It can't,  that is why Jesus told us to shun them.  Incarcerate them.  "Come ye out from among them."

Praise the LORD!

Just strutting

Just strutting, trying to mind my own business.  I didn't ask to come here.  I looked up one day and damn: "Here us is".  Now my mother was none to pleased.  Fuck her!  Bitch should have used a condom or closed her legs.  That "Romeo and Juliette"  shit is a fantasy.   Do not expect or demand a man to marry you because you got pregnant.  Sure, some couples meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after IN FAIRY TALES!

This is real life.  Meeting, trusting, falling in love, REMAINING IN LOVE AND LUST is hard.  Just living, putting one foot in front of the other one is hard.  You must constantly navigate, plan, prepare, fail and try, fail and try again.  Now imagine you have a friend, a lover, a partner , a parent that is disloyal, a complete predatory loser.   Worse , this person is extremely violent, highly explosive, worse than worse, this "person" is some type of homemade voodoo priestess "root doctor" Soothe sayer/ mad woman/preacher/maniac.

Talk about an adventurous life! Talk about miracles, gifts, talent, a Holy Ghost Experience. I am humbled.

Don't  even worry about it because GOD makes intercession for us when we are unawares.  Go ahead, do what you want to do. "Taste and see."   Free fall!

Praise the LORD!

Save the children!

Dear LORD and Savior I humbly pray for your innocent children attempting to survive on this wicked earth.  Protect them LORD.  I pray a special prayer for those of us born to predatory vipers.  Dear LORD,  an innocent child in the hands of a predatory viper parent  is like raw meat thrown to a ravenous tiger.  Dispatch your Angels around that child LORD!

What we did not know, what we could not know, our own mother was eaten up with demons.  They plagued her.  She had a legion, if she had one.  Is it common place LORD?  How many people actually practise WITCHCRAFT and preach?

I do know how much most people fear witchcraft, gypsies, the occult, astrology.  Most  people lie , claiming to love and trust GOD and do nothing but lockstep. They follow the crowd, follow the status quo, the party line without one question.   Silent victims.  I will not!  If you do anything to me untoward , I am going to tell!

Not quite true.  I kept my mother's "husbands" secret for years and years and years.  Yes, I hated them, distanced myself from them.   But, I kept "it" to myself.  She is the one that told on one of them.  I still feel very sorry for my mother.  She actually believed that she was so low, so deserving,  that she had to marry perverts and pretend they were something better than what they were.

Poor Martha lived and died a complete made-up fantasy for eight-seven years.  No, there really was no hope.  Granddaddy tried years and years before we came along.  "Mental Illness" has come a long way since the turn of the centuries, twentieth and twenty-first.

Fear is our problem.  Fear is not real power, it is paralysis.  You can not move.  Your eyes are frozen in the headlights like a deer.  Unfortunately life is much too short to suffer fools.  This why my blog is a must.  I have discovered thousands upon thousands of such women.  Narcissistic mothers that are not just against their daughters, they are against GOD, against the truth.

While my mother did plague me for sixty-two years, I was learning.  I was improving.  I was girding up my loins.  GOD was preparing me for "such a time as this.".

I would rather be poor and broke.  I would rather study, earn my own money. That is why my poor mother always had an attitude, was always cross and hard to get along with.  She was ashamed.  She should have been ashamed.  If you are ashamed, stop doing things that make you ashamed!

Earn your own living.  An ugly repulsive lover is not worth all of the drugs and alcohol you have to consume to be with them.

"Come ye out from among them."

Praise the LORD!

"It's complicated."

The Holy Spirit reveals  that the man or woman released over to  a reprobate mind will be void of a maternal instinct.  A mother will not recognize her own flesh and blood in terms of her carnal lust.  This demonic fallen woman will become so delusional she will not respect any boundaries, will not be corralled or stopped.  She must "be endured to the end" (2 Thessalonians)

No!  Do not run from this knowledge!  Do not shun it!   Know it! Tattoo it on your forehead!   Stop it!  Stop it dead in it's tracks.  Reverse the curse!

Warning our children about their "weird uncle or grandpa or GOD forbid grandma " is not nearly enough.  No, you can't watch them carefully enough.  The very fact they have their innocent victims sneaking around,  still whispering about them and they are long dead  is pathetic!

How dare you claim to love and trust the LORD while fearing a damn DEAD fool!?

Praise the LORD!

Solomon Burke - Tonight's the night

I am not going to criticize you "Young blood" but if you will permit me, I will attempt to steer you in the right direction, to share my limited knowledge with you.  First of all,  do know, no one just accidentally gets old.   GOD has a reason for every person.

Please do not waste one more moment bemoaning the conditions of your birth.  Do hurry and get over your own mother hating you so much , secretly , you are still paralyzed.    Be glad she was decent enough to do it secretly.   She could have done it blatantly , in the open.   It would not have mattered. No one would have helped you then,  either.  No one would have cared then,  either.

No, it is not the nature of man, it is the nature of evil, of fear, of a lying mouth and nature.  Most people are cowards.  That is why Jesus commanded us; "Come ye out from among them."

Does GOD have to personally hand you a proclamation!?  Must it say, your own mother deliberately placed you in harms way over and over, told abominable lies on you, no she did not ever love you.

Why does GOD have to spell out the obvious to us often?  Because we are all creatures of "Hope".  We do hope our love ones will finally change for the better.  We all want so desperately to live happily ever after that we do delude ourselves much too long.  It is all good.  Jesus fixes it.

Praise the LORD!

Save yourself first!

If you ever find yourself born into an extremely dysfunctional family headed by a complete demon laden reprobate, run! Save yourself.

What if Harriet Tubman had tried to save all of the slaves?  She had to carry a gun as it was.

Save yourself!  No,  we are no longer slaves trying to escape via the Underground Rail Road, it is far worse.  Our world is dying.  2 Timothy is real!  The most hateful, evil, vile, treacherous people not only dare to preach but dare to be told on,  to be exposed.

Worse, we let them.  We sit in churches knowing full well that preacher practices WITCHCRAFT or adultery.  Is a thief or some other nefarious creature.  Sells drugs on the side, hot clothes, the best weed, what ever.

No that does not mean your pastor is as evil as my mother proved to be,  but,  it proves there is something rotten in the cotton.  Truthfully I could have had this conversation with myself when I was thirteen.  I knew, but I didn't really know what I knew.  I knew I had accidentally stumbled upon something very ominous.  Something very wrong.  I had sense enough to know that my own mother had absolutely no business looking at me like I was a delicious t-bone steak and she was a ravenous bulldog.

I also knew to never say anything.  Martha was known to cut the fool on your ass forever , for making the slightest criticism towards her.  She was never about to tell the truth about anything,  so do not waste your breath.

"Get grown and get gone" was my motto from my earliest memory of that slut.   Why it never crossed my mind to just off the bitch,  I will never know.  GOD's Divine Order is the answer.

Praise the LORD!

"She got messed up."

When I was growing up,  which was in fact eons ago, the term "got messed up" was understood to mean that some young woman's life had been ruined by some no account man that had done the unthinkable and then refused to do the only honorable thing, marry.

We all whispered about the young ladies in our high school or college that had a quicky wedding and a miraculous healthy baby within months.  We whispered among ourselves, harmless gossip.

So, for my own mother to be discovered in wrong doing against me (for always) is more than heartbreaking.  It is earth shattering.  Call me dumb, call me naive, I did not know any human being could ever be that evil,  secretly.  It never occurred to me.   Call me stupid for believing what people say.  For some reason I have always said exactly what is on my mind.  I always assumed everyone else did like wise.

Now I know,   people will say anything to get what they want.   My mother was extremely selfish, coupled with extremely lazy, followed by extremely immoral.  When any person, particularly a female  is willing to have sex with their own first cousins,  the war is lost.  Game over.  Take your marbles, your pride and go home.

Live alone, live in a cave.  Withdraw from the world.  This is not your time to be here.

Mr. Donald Everette, a very white red headed man, my eight grade teacher purely loved me as a father. He made the mistake of praising me to my mother.  Now I know why my own mother set about trying to get me impregnated by my "stepfather".

No, world there is absolutely no excuse for such unbridled evil.  The Holy Spirit kept Martha's deep evil in check.  I survived.

Now, don't you ever forget GOD told us not to mock (HIM).  Martha did.  She sure did! That is not good, you can not excuse or ignore evil.

"Come ye out from among them."

Praise the LORD!