It is the quality of life, not the quantity. So many people claim to have been happily married for many , many years. If that is true I salute you. I may not believe you but , I do salute you. My disbelief is rooted in my own personal experiences. I've never seen it, never had it, therefore I doubt it exists.
I guess people can take that view of my testimony, of my horrid childhood, the evil abuse my mother and others have made me suffer. When something is unreal, unimaginable, incomprehensible, people tend to doubt you or ignore you. We are all struggling, treading water, trying to survive. We are all overwhelmed. We all have more grief than we can bear.
We all must be truthful about everything. If my mother had accepted the fact she was a promiscuous lesbian many, many years ago she would have enjoyed a much better life. She would not have had to live a lie of hating, lusting and comparing. You certainly would have had no use for WITCHCRAFT!
One thing for sure, my mother did not like me! That woman hated my guts, she hated my shadow. I'm lucky GOD did not permit her to kill me, to utterly destroy me. I'm complaining about some book manuscripts, a master's thesis, some houses, some "stuff". That slut wanted my life! She got granddaddy's. I am sure there are a lot of lives she successfully got away with ending. The fact she could brag about five abortions should have been some kind of clue to me, to us. Why did we accept that as "normal"?
She was pretty pompous. She was pretty arrogant , bragging about her so called "power". Bitch never had no power! That volunteer demonic imp had cruelty!
not only can I do better by myself, did, had to. Evil still can't win. The only reason any one thinks Martha won is because they insist on being as blind as Ray Charles. How miserable, how sorry, how low?
Just because a subject is too low, too common, too gut wrenching to discuss , doesn't mean it should not be. There are far too many men and women just like Martha terrorizing this earth right now. Let us start with the worse, a mother that knowing pleasures herself sexually using her small children as sex toys. That is more than disgusting, more than abomination . That is my truth, knowing this, coming to terms with this truth is setting me free.
Just absorb that, don't you move from this sentence. The word is INCEST! It is a taboo subject yet it is practiced to the point it is now a plague. We were never allowed to acknowledge or discuss it. We were never allowed to do a lot things by our mother.
Yes, she did laugh at us. She did pick at us, made a big deal about our peculiarities. Me, a book worm, an honor student, a very old virgin with little or no interest in sex. Yes, Martha laughed at me, talked about me behind my back. Did she ever share why? Martha laughed at her brilliant son that did not like women. Did she ever bother to tell you why?
Rot you stanking slut!
The truth is my mother never developed emotionally beyond that of a retarded promiscuous twelve year old. Martha died an eight-seven year old toddler. Screaming, cursing, demanding her way. I didn't give it to her. I tried desperately to hold her feet to the fire. I was very busy attempting to persuade her to repent of her sins. It didn't happen, so now my fellow victims hate me even more for knowing, for bringing it up, for "shaming"the family name.
Are you really that stupid? How do I end up the culprit!? That stanking nasty murderous whore! That evil sooth saying vile ROOT WORKER! The low whore used to preach mispronouncing words to people that didn't have sense enough to know or care. "Gird up your LIONS !" ; she used to preach! How do you gird up your lions? Why don't you know the word is loins! Why don't you know what a loin is!? Why are those idiots sitting up under you not knowing the damn difference?
You all can rot too. Rot with your nasty stanking lying "root working" mother. Pretend like she was a real preacher just because some "church" gave her a license.
Back to INCEST and Pedophilia. INCEST and Pedophilia will take AmeriKKKa down. Turn your head if you want to. Keep pretending that it doesn't exist, that it can't harm you. My medical doctor brother is brilliant, was appointed to West Point. My evil mother ruined him deliberately. Pouring that boiling hot pot of coffee on his tiny chest is symbolic of the awful evil that woman harbored in her heart against us. All of us, not some of us as she suggested.
Pounding that puppy between two bricks is how the low slut pounded all of us until she finally expired! Thank You Jesus! Praise the LORD!
Martha Jane Walters was a low woman that lived to bring down and destroy. The evil doer is someone that roams to and fro seeking whom it shall destroy. My lazy whorish mother never looked beyond her own family. That is sick! SIXTY-FIVE ACRES OF PRIME TIMBERLAND ON I-95! A HOUSE! A POND! A LEGACY! All gone because a low whore demanded to be a low whore forever. She heard Jesus. "Even in the last hour you can come into the Kingdom."
Martha did not want to go. Martha never wanted any part of GOD or the Kingdom. GOD was never more than a ploy to Mathy Jane, a tool, something to be used to get what she wanted. The sad fact is Martha never wanted anything, not even the carnal sexual pleasure she always pretended blew her mind.
You low slut! You traded all your father slaved to establish away, for what? It could not have been the sex. Sex is not that good you lying slut! You couldn't have done it for the money. You died still paying a house note! You drove a second hand Cadillac!
Why? Were you really that ignorant? That dumb? That thick? You said it was because you were black, Hagar's child. Bitch you were just lost and refused to be found. "Blind and won't see."
that Donald Trump is screaming the game is rigged. He is a baby tyrant having a pre-tantrum, a real pompous ass. The more I witness Trump the more I want to kick my own ass for trusting that Mathy Jane so long.
I do have to remind myself that she was predicted by the LORD Jesus Christ. I feel like every Word in that Book is devoted to preparing this world for vipers like Martha. She had to come here, we had to endure to the end. That doesn't mean I have to pretend to love the bitch. What a horror!
We all have something. This world is not perfect for any one. So much of what we see on the outside has nothing to do with the inside. As a high school student attending E.E.Smith I loved to ride up and down Brodell Drive. The Brodells was the first nice , upscale black community I ever witnessed. Seabrook Road was wide and well kept. I never saw one piece of trash, a bottle, litter, nothing untoward in that community.
I loved the fact the little cottages that lined both sides of the street all had large picture windows. All had sheer curtains crisscrossed delicately with one lamp burning in every window like clockwork every night.
It still makes me happy, proud, an all black neighborhood with no riffraff ! No litter! No trash! Every yard well groomed, That was pride, not negative stupid pride but, a type of pride that declared we are here and we are brilliant, beautiful. We are contributors. "We are rising!"
I attended all black E.E.Smith and they did not play. Mr.E.E. Miller the principal, did not play! Mr.Paul Russell the band director did not play. He had that sonic sound before we knew what a Sonic Sound was.
I was in that band. I was a majorette. I spent one summer in "majorette classes". My "stepfather" (Martha's third husband) took me. My grandfather bought my expensive boots. I was beautiful! Shapely, long hair flowing, big legs reaching the sky.
Martha never saw me march. Refused to attend the games. What she did do was "root". I am not stupid. Martha was a jealous "root worker". She hated me. That bitch always hated me. Always skulked around me like an egg-sucking cur dog. Always trying desperately to destroy me on the "sneak", on the DL (down low).
That makes sense to me now. She was on the DL, the down low as a closet lesbian. Living in the closet made Martha hate herself, made her envy, made her plot. If Martha had come out of the closet, openly enjoyed being the lesbian she truly was maybe she would not have hated so much.
You don't have to secretly hate when you are free to openly love.
How did my knee end up three sizes larger than my entire tiny body? Stanking whore! Stanking "root working" slut!
I even missed picture day. Martha Jane Walters was a witch, an evil imp for satan. Don't you dare feel sorry for that low whore! That ignorant slut tried to put me on the "track"! Out of all the things a mother can do for their child, their offspring, attempting to force them into the lowest form of existence while pretending to love them, while pretending to love GOD, is abominable.
First of all my mother never had any reason, no justification for being a low promiscuous whore. She never had any reason to be a pathological liar either. It was choice, her choice, her Free Will. Yes, she murdered her own father. She refused to repent of it, to apologize, to accept responsibility.
I am the fool for thinking she would. "You duh fool!" was always Martha's mocking response when caught in wrong doing. No matter how low, how common one of Martha's deeds you better not tell it! You better not mention it ever!
I am howling! Martha really believed she had some power. She lucked up on some shit much like a blind squirrel finding a nut. My huge "rooted" knee did ruin my career as a majorette as a high school student. Martha was proud, thought she was winning. Finally got the tall good looking husband she always wanted, was "rooting" people right and left. Was driving a long Cadillac, was winning! Had a "yalla" baby for a "yalla" man, was winning!
Flip! Backfire! He left her and I graduated from college with honors. I get it! Poor loud ignorant whorish sneaky Martha sunk lower and lower. Or did she? How do you fall lower than a rapist? Than a rapist that commits incest?
You fall lower by false fake preaching while "working roots". You fall lower by refusing to repent of your sins when you are eighty-seven years old! You fall lower when you leave your only daughter out of your Will and die lying on her.
If you die unrepentant , unremorseful for your horrible wicked life, just rot.
"You're crazy! You're out of your muthafucking mind! How dare you! Why! I would never!" No one screamed their innocence more than my mother. No one was ever more guilty either. It made no sense. I should have known it was witchcraft! That she was plagued, haunted, stalked, possessed, inhabited, visited upon. Was lost, a black cloud, our own hard luck, a curse, a bad omen.
There is no way for me, for you, for any one to know what another person is really thinking. No one can know the hearts of anyone. We listen, we believe what they declare. We believe according to our personal experiences. If we are wise we look at the fruit of our "loved one".
At some point we will catch on. A lying , dictatorial woman will prove to be a lying dictatorial woman. The human body can take only so much pain. An eighty-seven year old demon can not hide. An imp that refuses to repent and demands to talk shit and still cuss every one out at eighty-seven may find herself short a few flying monkeys.
My mother was a woman of extremely low character. It is a fact. Just because we did not go around declaring Martha got caught having sex with the door open again, in the broad daylight again, didn't mean we did not notice.
"See and don't see." "Keep it moving." "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." "Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."
What I failed to take into account was how that type of personality would affect her. would affect me. Praise the LORD help me! A mother, a fallen woman that goes well out of her way to make sure her little daughter is horribly sexually abused as an infant, as a child, as a teenager, as a young woman.
Dear LORD protect your sons and daughters from such vile human beings as my mother and her lovers. Protect our children from adults that say nothing, do nothing. Men and woman that refuse to care. Men and women that are busy begging GOD for a blessing while not blessing anyone. Worse, while harboring hatred, jealousy, envy, a foul demonic spirit.
Martha knew she had that spirit. She could not have hidden it so successfully without knowing full well it was there. The unfortunate fact is, Martha loved that evil spirit, depended on it.
Just as the woman that suffered with the issue of blood for ages, Martha suffered with the spirit of the evil one. Was it because she wanted it, welcomed it, invited it, preferred it to GOD? Is that why she preached?
Don't worry world, the evil doer shall proceed no further.
the evil doer. "We the people" born into the clutches of such women do have to bear excruciatingly painful rejection . The greatest tragedy is having such a disgustingly evil mother, secondly discovering not one person on this earth cares.
The worse part of any helpless child's plight is that they are taken advantage of before they know the score. It is like taking candy from a baby because it is taking "candy" from a baby. It is wrong, it is cowardly and you will not get away.
Who is worse, the child abuser, the baby beater/rapist or the people that remain mum, terrified into stunned silence? You have culpability because you have knowledge. You too are tainted! You can not get away. You must make a decision . You must be hot or cold.
The most important lesson I keep trying to teach myself is love, "self love". I am full of self loathing, of self neglect, of not loving myself. The self love we develop for ourselves is modeled by our mothers. If our mothers deliberately hate us covertly, slyly, stealthily and unendingly, we do have a difficult time believing we even deserve self love.
By the Grace of GOD I found love. First my grandfather, Jerome Walters then my daughter. I'm winning! I'm beaming!
for the thirty years I was able to do. It was like a "stretch", a prison sentence. "That should not be." Something is wrong. Why should a life long profession, a dream, turn into a nightmare? Something is wrong, way wrong. The train has "jumped the tracks", "the tail is waging the dog".
It happened to me. It was strange, it was extremely painful, yet I endured. That principal was a "bitch". The students saw it first, called it out immediately. The nigga had a vagina! VINDICTIVE! That is the first thing a low class whore would do, attempt to extract revenge for some perceived disloyalty. Picking on me, demonstrating to the faculty how low he was willing to sink to prove he was large and in charge.
So, you were obviously unfair. No, I could not do much to protect myself from bullies like you. Who can? That is why a bully is a bully? The pick on those that can't fight back. Well, I don't need to fight back because Almighty GOD has my back and (HE) has never failed me yet!
I reported him to ODE, ODE reported him to the State. He was engaged in testing fraud, making teachers pre-bubble the PSAT answer sheets! He better be glad I saved his career. He punished me, took my AP classes, put me out of my room! Teachers are mistreated, severely oppressed in this country. We shall all pay. We are all paying. If you drive your most brilliant, your best from the profession of eduction , what will you have?
You will have what we have today, a watered down, dumbed down, barely literate society of selfish greedy vipers. For so long I felt so sorry for myself for having the world's worse mother. I am finally learning, finally discovering I am not alone. I am so far from being alone I am jubilant. Jesus prepares us, warns us, admonishes us.
No one should use their position of authority to punish others. I do think my principal was terrified of white people. He took my AP classes and gave them to a white man that was much less qualified. Gave me fake AP students, miscreants reading on a second grade level.
The wolf is guarding the hen house. Majority "minority" schools are being praised by the media for opening AP classes up to all students. That is like putting every beginning swimmer in and Olympic Championship Swimming class. It is ridiculous. It is for money and it is designed to perpetuate the myth that blacks are less intelligent and do not test well. It also destroys the few would be scholars. Not one teacher in this world should be reduced to a "zoo keeper".
The aggravation far too many teachers are made to suffer should not be tolerated. We shall all surely suffer. Incompetent vindictive bullies should not be permitted to run rough shod over teachers.
I do hate racism but, I also recognize that I worked in and all black school where many white teachers and foreign teachers, black teachers were severely abused. I was severely abused. I held my own because I was ignorant, because I was a "thug", because I counted down the years.
It is not color, it is character. We see color because we are conditioned to see color, to blame color. It is spiritual. It is our sense of right and wrong. Evil can not win. "Jesus will fix it."
how do I explain the kind of ignorance that engulfs far too many people? We had it. Every one in my family had it.
I remember the first time I knew it was satan himself. That little short jet black too young man she married caught her in "fornication" in the front seat of his car. He did not approach the situation as calmly as he perhaps should have. He took his fist and busted in the side window of the car. What did he do that for? He got the dog shit beat out of his ass just as soon as Mathy Jane got her "draws" up.
Those flying fists hit him so furiously he never had time to think. He did have time to thank GOD for sparing his life. Luckily his high "yalla" wife took him back and forgave him.
"Love ye one another as I have loved you." Why is a commandment that sounds so simple so hard to do?
I cannot create a word for the spirit GOD warned us about. "Their feet are swift to run to mischief." They are reprobates. Once you have a reprobate "love one", shun them. Praise the LORD if they shun you. There is no point in trusting an untrustworthy person. They will turn out to be untrustworthy every time.
