Freddie King - Have You Ever Loved A Woman

It could be that she envied me so much she purely hated me.  Why envy? You can be what ever you want to be.  Nothing is easy , nothing is handed to anyone.  If it is, it is not appreciated.



No matter, right or wrong, young or old, fast or slow …you are going to learn  …GOD got this!

I don't know what you got ...

No you can not un-ring a bell

As my brilliant mother so eloquently pointed out.  A molested, raped ruined child can not be un-raped, un-abused.  Ignoring her, pretending to not care, feigning irritability and exasperation, accusing you of beating a dead horse , will not work forever.

People will eventually catch on.  The masses finally accepted the fact the world is not flat, man can fly and replace vital organs.  We can reproduce artificially but,  we cling to vile racist stereotypes.  Be careful of such thinking.  Do not assume GOD does not love people of color.  Maybe you don't, maybe you can't.

I know what I know. I know that when some evil doer is forcing us to experience excruciating pain GOD is kind enough to lull us to sleep.  Now is the time for all that slumber to awake.

My mother was a monster.  A vile, vulgar, cold hearted viper.  MY MOTHER!  Well damn.  When you know your own mother went well past forsaking you to attempting to enslave you and you realize that GOD not only saved you from such but,  has been with you, leading, guiding protecting you ALL THE TIME!  You swoon! Get weak in the knees! You are flabbergasted! Humbled! In awe beyond measure!

Evil can't win.   It can't be done.

"Won't (HE) do it!?"

Praise the LORD!

Freddie King - Woke Up This Morning - Live in 1975

Woke up in my "Blackness".

Love it!  This is why the "Swirl" will end up ruling the world. The day of the Geechee and the WASP are long gone, much like Gone With The Wind.

It is character, not color.

"Come ye out from among them."

Love yourself! LOVE YOURSELF PLEASE!

You must fall in love with yourself.  Stop what ever you are doing right now and love yourself fiercely. Give yourself a tight hot hug.  Praise yourself! Compliment yourself.  List your accomplishments. Beam! Radiate! Strut! Shine! Admire yourself!

Block out all of those lies, half-truths and myths.  "Step out on faith!" Free Fall!

I can remember it so clearly, I was still a young woman. I was hugging my mother, telling her "good-bye" as I prepared to "hit the road".  Hugging her was like hugging a rock, a huge boulder, a cold slab of stone.  Coldness did not come out of her mouth.  She was sweet and syrupy with her backward compliments. "Gwen, I swure you gittin' lighter!" 

My dumb ass accepted the compliment. (Help us LORD)

My mother had me, hated me, worked diligently for my utter destruction. I have a daughter that I love, have always loved since conception.  I poured love into her.  She is a great person. She is a joy! I am in awe of GOD"S blessings.

 My mother followed me around reminding me that I wasn't shit and destroying my prose, poetry and art.  Died mocking me, mocking GOD.

I still question, who is worse, the evil doer or the silent conspirator? Why do my brothers continue to lie and deny for a dead demon?

"Man does not do what is right, man does what is convenient."

"Come ye out from among them."

"These eyes …"

These eyes tell me that my mother lied.  These eyes tell me that I live in a country that lies.  Rather than encouraging me, encouraging others,  my mother made the choice to use her beauty, her intelligence to enslave, to use and abuse for her carnal pleasure.  Like so many people she pretended that she could not help herself , that every one was worse than she was.

No wonder you told such horrible lies on me.  You tried to push me in that direction. Luckily for me I didn't always take the bait.

Martha, rather than secretly hating yourself, suffering from low self esteem, why not face your issues and improve?  We all have issues.  We all have problems.  Money does not make you immune to pain.

I'll never forget how you taunted me before you died, finally half-admitting you were an evil root worker and you had successfully robbed me of my dreams.  Woman! No one's life turns out like s/he plans.

Look at Jesus on the Cross, praying to GOD to take "this bitter cup if it be thy will LORD."  So, you destroyed every dream I foolishly shared with you.  How did that benefit you?  If anything it hurt you financially.   Why did you think making people beg you to keep their lights on, gas on, to pay their rent , warranted  any favor, was a sign you were benevolent?

Why did you lie on my granddaddy claiming he never gave you any money?  All you ever did was take his money!  You MURDERED him for his money.  You stanking whore.  I'm sorry for calling you so many names.  I got it from you.  That is all you ever did.  I remember you always calling me a "black heifer" when I was an infant, a toddler.  You  didn't like me, you never loved me but,  you had no problem trying  to destroy me.

Martha, no one can make anyone like them, love them.  If some one doesn't love you, what is the point of begging them?  Why become their enslaved bitch? "If somebody hits you, hit them back!", remember.

You were outraged that I could betray you, tell on you, expose you!  What about you!?   What mother does what you did and can never  humble herself to apologize?


Dumb bitch.  You should have read a few books instead of pretending you read them.  Martha you were a serious whore, a promiscuous slut, a pervert.  But, that is not what destroyed you, brought you down.  It was your pathological lying, your never ending lust, your preaching falsely.  It was your serious greed!

You deliberately kept your love from me.  Thank you.

I so get it

"Wide is the road that leads to death and destruction, narrow is the path of righteousness." In other words far more people will do wrong than do right.  Most people are easily duped, easily intimidated.  We are counted as blind sheep because we are.

I just did a Thirty year bid.  I was just as imprisoned, confined, held down, held back, intimidated, rendered useless,  as any inmate in any prison.  Some of my relatives did real time, real actual jail time.  Truthfully getting locked up is not so unusual in many families. I'm laughing because it was expected in mine.  My granddaddy kept "Bail Money".  He was a good man.  He would bail your sorry ass out of jail with a quickness. The promptness of which your relatives recuse you from arrest is considered a "bragging right".   It is a shame, but it is the reality.

People that have never been locked up should not feel so superior.  Yes, we should care, we should visit those incarcerated.  No, I did not say I am about to do it.  At least I recognize I should.  There are some evil immoral people that should be incarcerated. That's my fear.  I do not want to go around them. One of my friend's did, messed her up!

 There may be many with no business in prison. But, I have a distinct feeling, most of them there should be there.  "A snake is a snake."

"Only by the Grace of GOD there go I."  I could have been my mother.  Perhaps.  What if I had been born "high yalla"?   What if this world convinced me that the color of my skin made me "premium" and I had the right to mistreat people as much as I desired because I believed I was preferred?

Did Martha really believe she was preferred? Were there some blurred lines? Are most people still racist?  Sexist? Age-ist?  Do we still judge people by their "incomes"?   How much money is enough money?  When is your business, "Your business"?

I survived a "mother" so EVIL GOD had to put blinders on me to enable me to survive.  This woman would beat us brutally, we would have bleeding lacerations and she forbade us to so much as look at our wounds.  No, I did not know this was abuse.  No, I was NOT dumb! I was accustomed.  I was numb.  I did my "time".

"It is ALL in Divine Order!"