Learning, gaining, growing

My LORD, don't let my living be in vain.  I've learned a great deal on my journey. I know racism is some form of demon possession.

Dear LORD, thank you for placing Jerome Walters in my life, one wise wonderful man.  His life was tragic , one painful event after another and unfortunately he was burdened with a wayward, deeply disturbed daughter.  I know granddaddy had to be heeding the Spirit of the Holy Ghost when he put me onto Bible study early in life.

Pride does go before a fall. I'm still stunned, astonished by my birth mother's true evil.   Discovering who and what she really was this late in life is a blessing.  "Trust and Obey".  I went back to that woman's sick, demented torture only because the Holy Spirit urged me to.  Yes, LORD, thank you for revealing what I didn't know, what had never occurred to me.

Yes, poor Martha had a baby at sixteen, considered her life ruined and plotted revenge on GOD, her father and every man, woman and child that ever lived.  Reduced her own dumb ass to demon possession.   Took her own dumb ass down on graves robbing them of their dust.

Look at what happened to her! INCEST! PEDOPHILIA! PROSTITUTION! ROBBERY! RAPE!  MURDER!  

The Holy Spirit maketh not ashamed.  Serve satan if you want to, preach AND practice WITCHCRAFT if you want to.  You will end up like Mathy Jane, AN ABOMINATION TO 
GOD!

"Come ye out from among them."  Who LORD? Who is "them"? The lock steppers , the blind, the stiff necked, those full of pride, overly proud of their skin color, overly proud of their wealth and status.  Get away from the sniveling cowards, those too afraid to stand up for themselves, those that prefer to cloak for a demon because that demon did infact force them deep into captivity.

If you call yourself a Christian and you support the likes of trump you are mislabeled, you ma'am or sir , are a full fledged demon.  "Birds of a feather flock together."

Granddaddy: "Time changes all things"

I was a new mother but,  you could not tell it from my behavior around my mother.  I'm not going to lie, that slut had me chained and bound.  I was a new mother without a husband.  Oh, I was married but Mathy soon ran his punk ass off.

My mother invited me to Chester, to spend the holidays with her and the rest of my family.  Little did I know that I was summoned to be her pawn, something to be laughed at, picked at, degraded, something for her to reduce to a pile of dung so she could look good.   From that day to this,  I became known as "Wid yo'broke ass!" 

No, I've never had any money.  Yes, I have barely lived, scraped out a living pay check to pay check.  What I didn't know, my own "mother" was always behind my excruciating pain. 

No, there was no possible way to win with my mother.  First,  I was a bastard, a too black bastard that she tried to convince was retarded.  My IQ measured 146 in the fourth grade and this whore pummeled me into unconsciousness.  No, I was never going to get a man because I was too dark and too hard lucked. (I always wondered why my mother thought I had the worse luck in the world.)

I've had sixty-five years to contemplate, to mul over my birth mother's condition; DEMON!  A FULL FLEDGED MUTHAFUCKING DEMON WALKING THE EARTH FOR EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS!  

My sometimes,  rather unsympathetic daughter,  wonders why we didn't just kill the bitch.  Good question. TERROR!  Terror is real! satan is real! satan got his black ass up in the Church terrorizing!  Right now! This very moment. There are billions of people right now calling themselves Christians that have never read the Bible, will never read it.

There are billions of Christians right now just like my mother, color struck, racist, lying, stiff-necked, hardhearted, selfish, greedy.  You don't believe me, then why is trump POTUS? Why is that troll from the lowest bowels of hell our "leader"?

"Come Jesus!" Help us ALL Holy Ghost.

It was cold

It was cold, very cold inside the house at 825 Dwain Drive, Fayetteville, North Carolina.  It was freezing outside. It was not just winter in America, there a was cold winter growing in my heart.  I sat straight, erect, looking at nothing.  I could not focus, I could not think. I could not move.  For the life of me,  I could not tell you how I got to my mother's door from Atlanta so fast.

The relatives kept coming, dropping off food, hams, chicken, cake, drinks.  The relatives kept coming, kept paying their respects.  I sat there wondering if any of my fellow victims were thinking what I was thinking.  Then it happened, Martha took us back to the bedroom were the deed was done and expressed very pridefully; "See whur yo' granddaddy put the gun back after he shot hizsef!"  Holly molly! Woman you are talking to a MEDICAL DOCTOR AND A SCHOOL TEACHER! Two people you beat, raped and terrorized since birth.  No, we didn't say anything.  I am not ashamed because I read that some demons have to be endured to the end.

I remember calling my principal immediately, just as soon as I got the news.  It was a Saturday morning, around ten a.m.  It was a little late for me to still be in bed.  For some reason I was. I must have gone out the night before, after all I was only twenty-seven.

I remember that phone blaring, disturbing some good dream I imagine, it was her, my "birth mother".  She was screaming at the top of her lungs; "DADDY   JEST  BLOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEDDDDDD HIS HEART OUT! DADDY JEST KILLED HIMSELF!"

Everything went dark! My brain shut down completely.  I did not dare say the first thought that came to my mind.  "You did it! You finally did it didn't you! You stanking slut! You stanking slut bucket! You foul demon!"  Yes , I thought it but,  I didn't dare say it.  No one ever told Mathy Jane what they thought.

The saddest fact of all, we were always right. Mathy always hated us.  She was always up to no good, always up to some sadistic, sick, foul, repulsive shit!  Martha  hated every human being that ever lived , anyone that she perceived to be smarter, prettier, or had more money.  No, there was no way we were ever getting Mathy to change.  She was a demon.  She was truly a pervert, a pedophile.  Yes, she was everything evil and despicable.

Sure, she blew Jerome Walter's heart out.  So!?  She could never take his wisdom from me.  My grandfather knew more in five minutes than that low whore did in EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS!  

"Come ye out from among them."

Why I am shocked

At no time in EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS  did this mental midget learn SHIT!  Never , not one day in EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS  did this whore humble herself, try any form of self improvement.

Martha Jane Walters lived EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS  as a pathological LIAR! A PERVERT! A PEDOPHILE! A MURDERER! A CONJURER! 

GOD said No!

Enough said.

"Come ye out from among them."

I had a great pastor once.

Rev. Luvenia Robinson was an associate pastor of a church I formerly attended.  She prayed the most awesome prayers.  Our church recorded the pastor's sermons and sold them after service. They were always well worth it.  I always bought two, always sent one to my mother.  That silly fool, memorized them, preached them as her own.  Yes, I thought it more laziness than corruption.  She explained that all pastors did it. Perhaps.

I know one thing, Reverend Robinson always said the same thing; "I didn't come hear fo'no form nor fashion! I didn't come here to put on no flo'show!"

If you can't be real, if something is preventing you from being sincere in the Word, go fix that. Do not ignore that.

After my horrible ordeal in Fort Gordon, Georgia, do know Martha nearly beat the MPs back to the stockade.  She signed those papers releasing him and advised me to keep my damn black ass mouth shut about what the nigger had just attempted.

Worse, yes, it gets worse.  One or two days later we are back at "home", those two buzzards were going after "it" like two hogs in heat.  I accidentally  walked in on them because it was in the middle of the day and her door wasn't locked!

The buzzard was shipped off to Viet Nam where we prayed he would meet his maker every day, per advice and urging  of our  "mother".   I did finally find the courage to ask her if she was going to divorce him.  My birth mother responded with rapid fire flippancy and pride; "Hell No! Got to git dat money honey!"

Yes, this is the same slut that had the nerve to hate me.  Why hate me?  What made your dumb ass ever think you were ever smart enough to serve GOD and satan? You?  You never read two books thoroughly in your whole long life!  You hated your own daddy with a passion!  Not only did you disrespect him, you MURDERED HIM!

You knew the solution; repentance.  Yes, just that simple.  I see, you preferred to rot.  Well rot then!

I got Joy!

Praise the LORD! I know there is a GOD! I was barely fourteen years old, TERRIFIED!  Running down a hotel corridor screaming my lungs out.  The MPs (military poise) came, hauled his ignorant perverted ass off. The damn slutty ignorant ass nigger had startled me to consciousness with a HUMONGOUS BIG BLACK HARD AS NAILS DICK PRESSING UP AGAINST MY FACE!!!

No, I'm NOT right! No, I will never be right either!   But , to discover the cause of your life time of misery was in fact your own birth mother will make you heave.  You will crumble!  You will coil up in a tiny ball and pray to disappear.

Worse, let that low slut be a PREACHER! An Ordained Minister! You are dust! You have been ground away.  You are nothing.  So, satan thinks.  No nigger! GOD brought me here for such a time as this.  I can easily identify all of trump's mind games, snitching on himself.  Just like my mother, he leaks stuff he can and will be found innocent of,  just to keep you confused.

IGNORANT!  Allergic to knowledge, to common sense.  LORD help us because if he is exactly like my mother he is indeed a PEDOPHILE! INCEST  is a great possibility.

It's all good.  My mother's abominable evil made me a better person, trump's evil can only make us a better nation.

PRAISE THE LORD!

Stevie Wonder - Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing

LORD I thank you! I'm up early thanking you! I'm delirious with joy! Thank you for pulling me up out of that pit my own mother sealed me in! HALLELUJAH !!!

LORD your mercies endureth FOREVER! I never had a chance! We , not one of "eleven head of children" ever had an iota of a chance.  I'm  NOT sorry, any little infant, any baby born into the sick, demonic, manipulative,  sociopathic, psychotic ,  maniacal hands of Martha Jane Walters and survives, is BLESSED! 

Yes! I'm up early dancing! Dancing on satan's burr head. (Tried to get me through my mama, you failed because Almighty GOD kept Jerome Walters around to stand in the Gap.)

LORD I thank you.  I came to this world and this world treated me worse than a mangy, rabid, scalded dog, starting with my Own MOTHER !

Help me LORD! My body remembers the pain.  That slut did something very sick , sadistic and demonic to me as an infant!  Revisited,  punishing me with some form of excruciating pain for SIXTY-TWO YEARS! 

But, I SURVIVED!  I made it! 

I am living proof GOD sees, GOD moves, GOD pities every grown.   "Fret not thyself because of evil doers, be not envious of the workers of iniquity for SOON…"

Yes,  LORD, Martha Jane Walters was one of the worse workers of iniquity  that ever lived.  Fellow victims, if you want to LIVE,  really live, guilt free, lie free, REBUKE THAT DEMON FROM HELL! 

She was NOT your mother!  We never had a mother, we had a monster, a mongrel monstrosity. SHE'S DEAD! SHE'S DEAD! PRAISE THE LORD SHE IS FINALLY DEAD! CELEBRATE THE GOODNESS OF GOD!

Rejoicing! Praising! Beaming! 

P.S.
The last thing my poor fallen stiff necked birth mother told me was not to piss on her grave when she was dead.  I'm not pissing but I'm sure rejoicing! PRAISE THE LORD! "WON'T (HE) DO IT!?"