You don't run nothing!

You think you are still running something, calling the shots. Still orchestrating, pulling the strings, dictating who gets what when.

You are and idiot, a dim-witted buffoon in your youth and a dumber than dirt imp now.

You let the devil make a clown out of you. Shame on you.

Poor Mathy Jane won't pray, won't get down on her knees. Poor loud clamorous Mathy Jane really thinks that she is smart, smarter than GOD.

Poor Mathy Jane can't stand to see any one prosper. Its makes her mad. Her tiny little brain scrambles for justification for her planned robbery. She will diminish your gain, she will erode your confidence. But there is one thing she won't do. She will not convince the world that I am out for revenge. "Vengeance is mind sayeth the LORD, I shall repay."

Exposing you is not revenge, it is JUSTICE!

You haven't changed and I guess you can't, a selfish self-serving demon to the end.

For your information, revenge would be doing to you what you did to me. Revenge would involve shedding your blood.

Keep playing stupid stupid. I am never going to let you off of this hook.

It is your choice

It is your choice. You can play crazy and slyly offer the excuse that you were raped three times when you were eight years old and your "daddy didn't do nuttin' but run da nigga off".

It's still free will. "Wide is the road that leads to death and destruction and narrow is the path of righteousness." Far more people will do wrong than do right. You did wrong because You wanted to. Your whole life you've felt confident enough to do wrong by pretending to do right.

You can squirm and lie and half lie, feign mental illness, plant false memories, cry, rant and rave. You are still a low life scum dog reprobate. You can search this world high and low and you will find very few people on your level of "Creep".

You are scum, unwashed and unrepentant. You are not retarded or confused in the least. You are EVIL! You are a sneaky vile serpent, unworthy, undeserving, not fit to breathe GOD's air.

GOD revealed all of your vile deeds to me. He stirred my memory. All those horrible memories that I repressed for fifty-eight years came back when you started mean mouthing *Taffy. I caught you "rooting" your own granddaughter. I saw you toying with her like a cat.

You hate every body! You are a total put on a fabrication. You are a coward. If you hate someone and you want nothing but their destruction and failure why can't you tell them?

Because you demand proof, because GOD must reach down from heaven and grab you by the throat to force you to listen I will remind you of what I told you two reprobates when I was eight. What I said in that bedroom on 6C Honeycutt Road, Fort Bragg, NC. I told you two buzzards that I was going to tell Jesus! Can you imagine a little girl screaming ;"I'm going to tell Gee-zus!" and I kept screaming "Gee-zus! Gee-zus!" and you two serpents laughed; "You ain't gon tell s***!" and laughed.

Yea I hate you, but GOD loves you. GOD still loves you. Someone as foul and filthy as you can still come into the kingdom.

I am going through. I am healing and I hope that I can help bring healing to the millions of children who have been forced to suffer like I have. I want to be the voice of the down trodden abused children. Poor children led into captivity by vile closeted demons.

"He that believth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water." (Isaiah 58:11)

Only you and GOD know every thing you did, when you did it and why. It is still your choice. You can rot down there in that hole unrepentant and mad, irritated and annoyed by GOD's Gospel.

I don't know the end of this thing. All I know is that I know you.

What could have happened?

What could have happened? How could one woman turn out to be so wicked? so demonic? so cruel and ignorant?

Was it nature or nurture? No conscience, no concern for her fellow man, her children, her father. Can a person really live a down low life for eighty-five years?

It's fear, not your innocence. It is fear that keeps them silent. No they don't respect you. Some don't like you. Ignorant of the true knowledge of GOD and His love they cower in fear. Many are polite because you are so old. It is too horrible to think about. Who can bear such a horrible truth? If a person commits an act so horrendous, so egregious that no one can bear to think about it. When you are so common that you can not admit what a vicious animal you are to yourself. When the people around you are too terrified of you to tell you the truth you are in bad shape.

You call yourself an ordained minister and you behave like Satan. Why do you preach? To be seen and admired by people that you have nothing but contempt for. I don't know one person that you don't have serious jealous hatred and envy for.

Why are you a closet demon? What are you afraid of? Why do you pretend to love GOD when you absolutely hate him? Your robe, cross and honey dipped words are simply tools of deceit.

You are a wonderment, an embarrassment, a sick sociopath.

"...that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men (women) shall be lovers of their own selves, COVETOUS, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, UNHOLY." Well your miserable life certainly supports that scripture.

"Without natural affection," I watched you roll up towels and prop *Micky's baby bottle to his little mouth. Half the milk would spill out of the side of his little mouth as he tried his best to suck . I saw yo standing there watching him with your cold demonic loveless eyes. I saw the loathing in your eyes. You had the nerve to hate him for being an outside child, a "mistake" caught in your "huband's net". A bllod clot that you watched and hoped woud die. The brilliant musician that you couldn't wait to destroy. You hated that baby and you beat him savagely. Don't say you didn't do it. I was looking right at you.

"You are going to have to give in account to GOD."

I want to know why you were big and bad enough to curse me until I couldn't see when I was three years old? But you were spineless to the man that asked me who my daddy was.

Why are you so sneaky? Why can't you confront your "enemies", the people you hate honestly. A rattle snake will rattle, he is a low down slithering snake but he does have the decency to warn you.

Common, low down, no-count for no apparent reason. A volunteer slave, a volunteer imp for the devil.

"Look well to your going."; children, "Look well to your going."

JR Walters Chronicles - "Fast luddle red headed heifer" (First Edition, 6th installment)

She was a fast little red head. A big bushel bale of red curly hair enveloped her head. She was pretty and the apple of her father's eye. Luckily the only girl she never had to compete with sisters for the attention of her tall very handsome daddy.

She may have been the apple of her daddy's eye but to most people she was a "fast luddle red headed heifer."

They called her "fast" because she knew and did things that little girls should not do.

Her father kept her in check, made her do her chores on the farm and taught her to love the LORD. (So he thought)

Known all over China Grove for her thievery, lying and "nastiness" she grew to hate any and every one that ever criticized her, anyone who told what she did. As she grew older she grew bolder and started beating up all her "snitches". Pretty soon she was a full fledged bully. Men didn't dare tangle with her.

Plotting and scheming soon over took her character. Angry that the world didn't view her nearly as highly as she viewed herself she turned to the "occult", voodoo, nigger "root working".

Her poor family loved and put up with her horrifying deeds year after year. Some ignorant preacher perpetuated the notion that is what Jesus would have them do. "Suffer as Jesus suffered." "What wud Gee-zus do?" they asked ignorantly failing to read the book with the answers.

GOD did not call us to suffer. He called us to have life and to have it more abundantly.

Always the scam artist somehow she got the right idea that she could maim and destroy more of the people that she secretly hated and envied by pretending to be a preacher. "Stroke'um, build'um up, then tear down. Tear them asunder. They will never know. Dey too stupid. I'm de only one wid any sense. Won't nobody nevah know!"

WRONG!!!

To make a long story short, she had a bunch of babies and finally married several men before she came to her father's house to retrieve the children that he had raised for her. She promised her father that she could finally become the good mother that she had promised her dying mother that she would be.

But, that is not what was really on her mind. Evil was alive and well in her brain, maim and destroy, lead astray on the down low.

Oh yea she was slick, cool as a breeze, but there was one thing that she didn't know. GOD was with those "little black waifs", His hand was upon them. He told the little girl ; "I am with you. I will never leave you."

Your Goofer Dust Won't Save You

"Your goofer dust won't save ya church! I say your goofer dust won't save you. A license to preach won't save you. Your home made "anointing" that you gave yourself won't save you. All your friends and loving relatives can't save. Those good"Christians" that have such a low opinion of themselves (the low self-esteem that you cultivated)can't save you.

You've got to have the blood. You can't get around the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. You can cram "Gee-zus Christ de head of my life"", "Praise deLawd" all up in your mouth. But, it won't save you. You can fool dim wits that don't know a Bible from a dictionary. But you can't fool GOD.

"Ye shall know them by their fruit!" and "From such stay away!"

We lamented that creature together.

It seems that I have spent my whole life listening to tales of how "niggas ain't s***". If I could quantify it I am sure that over half of the conversations I shared with my "mother" concerned "low life back stabbing handkerchief head boot licking coons".

Day after day, year after year, every one I know complains about that "creep". That wrong doer, that sneak, that snake. For the life of us no one can understand why every slave rebellion was thwarted by a "snitch". That scared negro that just looked out for himself. Told on Nat Turner, Gabriel Prosser, Denmark Vesey, even John Brown.

The number of slaves compared to the number of oppressors is astounding. Plantation after plantation the whites were outnumbered. Fear and treacherous imps kept the status quo. Jealous, ignorant, no-count, good for nothing imps contributed to and maintained "slavery".

To this day, these ignorant vile creatures slither around seeking whom they shall destroy.

We got angry together I tell you. Frustrated and confused we tried to understand this insidious "racism" together.

"Mother! that cracker made me sit out there in his office for hours. It was terrible. His secretary was embarrassed. When he finally agreed to speak to me he hollered; 'Can you type!?' I told that cracker; 'I wasn't hired to type. I was hired to be your paralegal!"

I mean I was hot. I know I cried. I was so excited, armed with my magna cum laude B.S. degree from North Carolina A and T. I mean I was proud. I took an examination given by the city of Fayetteville, NC. I made the highest score they told me. Every one was delighted. It was 1974 and very few blacks worked in city government. It was hard trying to get ahead and pull yourself up by your own boot straps.

But I did it! I did it! No mama, no daddy. I educated myself. I studied. I kept myself up. I was pretty with a beautiful shape and long luscious hair, but I rarely dated. I could not risk blowing my chances of success, of racial uplift. I was climbing that steep mountain of upward mobility afforded to the down trodden. I studied hard,I was self disciplined, I was a virgin. I was a good girl. "Miss Goody-two-shoes" my mother called me. When I refused to wear cheap shoes for me and only the finest lizard skin for her she renamed me "Miss Rich Bitch".

I still loved her. I looked over her "moments". I prayed and forgave her over and over although she never repented. I thought I was doing the "Christian" thing. That's what she taught us. "Eva body sin!" She would scowl. Press her too hard about her "Casey Anthony" lies and there was going to be some blood shed.

She has never said that she is sorry for one single demonic deed in eighty-five years. If she lied and said that she was sorry for anything, she soon qualified that "sorry" with someone else to blame. What ever she did to you, you were the cause of it. You made her do it.

She is not ever going to say she is sorry simply because she is not! She would just as soon shoot you in the heart as smash a roach. Bishop Eddie Long will never say he is sorry. Madame Watson will never say that she is sorry. Too arrogant, she thinks she's so smart. Someone should tell her that the devil is making a fool out of her.

I was surprised by her reaction when I told her how the City's attorney had treated me. She just laughed (demonically) "Maybe its cause you ain't yalla lak me."

What did "yalla" have to do with me being denied a job I earned, deserved, was over qualified for? I know now that I knew then. I knew she was a snake. I knew when she had her black imp of a husband putting his nasty hands on me that she was behind it. I just couldn't believe. It was too painful, too excruciating, too stupid, too unnecessary.

I didn't have the courage. She was successful in her brainwashing and conditioning. I was black. I was a bastard, I was legally blind. I was lame. I was stupid. No one would ever love me. White people were too racist. Niggers were too treacherous.

She had all the ideas. Just shut up and do what ever she demanded when she demanded it. Then one day the planets lined up. The light came on. The scales fell off of my eyes! It was my MOTHER! My own mother threw me under the bus. She pimped me. She tried to lay me low, but GOD picked me up!

He'll do it for you. He will pick you up too. He will lift you up out of that muck and mire. He will turn all of your tragedies into triumph. Jesus will take your burdens. He will take your shame.

"Know ye the Truth and the Truth will set you Free." "Be what you are and live your life" to the fullest.

JR Walters Chronicles - "You Know I lik'ta skurd mysef to deaf" (First Edition, 5th installment)

"Gul You know I lik'ta skurd mysef to deaf!"

"What you talking bout?"

"I looked at my condition. You know, I realized the condition my condition was in. It was bad. Didn't have no money. Didn't have no momma or daddy. No sisters or brothers, no friends. No one I could call on. Den I remembered! Call on the name of Gee-zus! Fall down on your knees, tell him all about your problems. He'll fix it."

"He sho will!"


*********
Never be ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Anything you want, anything you need, just ask GOD. He will deliver you. Trust GOD, don't let the devil rob you.

I am a witness and I can't shut my mouth. I'm running around leaping and praising GOD just like those disciples in the book of Acts.

GOD delivered me from the bloody jowls of a sick demon. Thank you LORD! I finally realized that I was suffering from a generational curse. My birth mother was released over to a reprobate mind many years before I was born. But, GOD saved me! Thank you Jesus.

To be molded and manipulated by a sociopath and remain relatively "normal" by human standards was not easy. Yes, I have "issues". There are some that tell me that I sound angry, even hostile. Yes mam I am hostile but not nearly as much as I used to be. GOD is still working on me. I am a master piece in progress.

It was my last course in education I think. I remember I was preparing for graduation and my professor gave the class some kind of personality index to help us in our career choices.

"According to this index you are very hostile."; my professor droned.

"What da F*** You mean I'm hostile!?" was my immediate retort. I laugh now. But I was as serious as a heart attack that day.

If hostile is the opposite of passive, then I'm hostile. If hostile means standing up for your rights and refusing to "messed" over, then I'm hostile.

Society is concerned enough to label me hostile but not concerned enough to rescue me. As a society we are quick to put labels on people but we don't help them. We put blinders on and play dumb when it comes to protecting our children.

Children are being destroyed and led astray by the millions right now while we remain passive and wait for the government to do something about it. "Hide it!" is the solution to every thing. "Hide it!" and "Just don't say nuttin'"

I tell you anti-intellectualism and apathy are killing this country. READ People! Seek knowledge. Do not run from mega-church to mega-church trying to buy a blessing.

Yes, I have issues, but I'm not arrogant or foolish enough to try to hinder the Kingdom of GOD. You will not "poo poo" LASCIVIOUSNESS down to a "wreck". You will not sell me some "hocus pocus" home made interpretation of the Bible.

"You become self-righteous and judgmental"; you blasted. Kind Sir, there is a distinct difference in self-righteousness" and righteousness. "Be ye Holy for I am Holy".

"You can't lead where you won't follow." I agree Brother Creflo, we should forgive him and I will just as some as he repents. But, please do not suggest that the fallen preacher gets a "free pass" into heaven just because he has been "toiling in the heat of the day".

"For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death." II Corinthians 7:10

Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. There is far too much deception in the Church. Practice discernment, judge rightly and Trust GOD children.

Be richly blessed. Remember, "Apart from Christ you are nothing."