GOD told me that it was alright ...

that it was o.k. with Him for me to go ahead and share our conversation. To tell you what He told me. Praise the LORD!

Before you can hear, before you can receive this "message" there are a few things GOD asked me to ask you.

#1 - Lose the attitude!  Get off of your high horse of supposing that you are Somebody! Your looks, your weight, your education, your Intelligence Quotient ,  your material wealth, Your color!  None of that matters to GOD.

#2 - Pray for GOD to create in you a clean heart.  Rid yourself of all that filth, your foul language, evil thoughts.  True it makes you popular with man but it keeps you from His blessings.

#3 - Get out of that marathon race to please your fellow man.  You can't win!  If you win they will covertly and overtly hate you.  Try every scheme in the world to destroy you.  If you lose they will mock you, ridicule you, "include you out".  They will remind you every day that you are not good enough and will never be good enough.

#4 - Live to please GOD.  Go ahead surrender your life to Him!  Trust Him!  Let Him fight your enemies.  GOD can do far more to them  in one millisecond than you could ever do in an entire lifetime.

#5 - Help somebody! Let your life be a walking talking sermon.  "Let your little light shine" "Let your light shine before men that they may see your good work."  Be at peace.  Beam and radiate GOD's goodness.  Spread the WORD!  You will feel better.  I declare you will. You will have a Joy  that no one can steal. GOD will give you the desires of your heart!

#6 - Forgive! Forgive these foolish people.  "Forgive them LORD for they know NOT what they do."

#7 - Be a peace maker.  When they attack you with cruel words, attempt to assassinate your character and ridicule you with their lacerating tongue.  Know that they are already hurting far worse than they could ever hurt you.

Now, to the The Conversation.  I spent all day yesterday in conversation with GOD.  It is not unusual.  It is something I've done for my entire life.  I was writing in my Journal, "Private Notes".  I have to write in order to know what I'm thinking.

" Sunday, March 24, 2013
PTL! I was torn asunder.  This monster (my mother) was screaming at me, lacerating me with her vicious tongue (again).  I wasn't  s***! I was black! I was a bastard! She hated the day she had me.  I stood there frozen, mortified.  My tiny body was rigid.  I could not move.  I felt  like a huge jagged rock was lodged in my throat.  I would not dare swallow.  If I swallowed I knew I would die.  I would drop dead right there on the spot.

I didn't want to die yet, I wasn't ready.  I was only eight years old! I didn't want to die but, I did want to disappear.  I wanted to vanish, to never be.  It was all my fault, well it was all our fault.  If we hadn't been born, if our fathers had not abandoned her, she would be happy.  Her happiness was all that mattered.  Mathy Jane had a right to be happy. GOD's world was created to make her happy.  She was "light bright and damn near white".  She had "good hair", "Jesus grass".  GOD blessed her with big well formed legs and a flat a** (like a white woman).  She had a beautiful face, pearly white teeth, was charismatic and brilliant.

We were a pain in her a**.  We cost too much.  She had to feed and house us.  'I keep you sorry black muthaf******* a** holes Open!' she would scream over and over like some lunatic banshee.  Our clothes came from the Thrift Shop.  My brand new shoes were always "runt-tovah" and broken down.  She dressed me like a clown.  I am sure I smelled.

Dear LORD in Romans 12:12 you told us that we should be patient in affliction.  I've been patient in long suffering.  I've endured excruciating pain.  But she is still grinning, still manipulating and destroying.  Still conning, conniving and robbing.  She is still a terrorizing monster.  Her hideous monstrous cackling laugh still terrorizes my dreams.

That harlot murdered my grandfather and got clean away.  The Fayetteville Police said there is nothing they can do unless she confesses.  "Mam, we are very busy.  We don't have time for family disputes."

The LORD knew that once again I was prostrate with grief, was tired and weary.  I've been dragging this demon on my back for over sixty years.  My Dear LORD said; "Baby don't you feel bad.  Feel Good!  No you never had a mother to love you.  But you had your grandfather.  You know he loved you.  He smothered you in hugs and kisses.  You were his lap baby until you were 27!  Not only did he love you.  He praised you, encouraged you, admonished you and set you straight.

Don't you spend one more second of your life worrying about the mother you never had , never will have.

Love your brothers, forgive them for rejecting you.  Love your entire family.  Just like you they know and have always known.  You were in your late fifties before you finally caught on, before you fully saw the light. They are "boys".  This woman is their mother!  What a horrible truth to face, to embrace.  Let me strengthen them.  Let me give them courage, wisdom and understanding."

"I know you have hurt baby.  Surely you have suffered.  But all that you suffered does not compare to the way she has suffered.  She can't come to the light.  She decided years ago to remain blind.  It's Pride daughter.  Pride is an awful thing.  Deliberate rebelliousness and stupidity is the worse affliction."

"Yes, you are afflicted, your many enemies tear at you every day.  But your mother's affliction is self inflicted.  Her greatest joy is inflicting pain because she is in excruciating pain.  I hate to tell you but she will remain in that excruciating pain until she comes to the foot of the cross.  Until she comes to My Almighty Truth.  She will suffer until she Repents!"

"You have a Great day baby! Remember that I love you!  Suffered and died on that Cross for you!  Suffered for All of you, for All my children."

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ we a nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you , cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceeding proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)