Pearl #9 ...

Don't give the devil any space in your heart.  Make sure satan knows there is no room for him.   Don't hate, don't harbor or plot revenge.  If you give evil an inch it will take a mile.  There is no such thing as being a little bit corrupt.  There is no such thing as a "little lie".  A lie is a lie and if you tell a lie, that makes you a LIAR!

My mother used to run around the house screaming at the top of her lungs; "He said a LIAR wudden tarry in hiz sight!!!"  Yes she knows the WORD, taught me, just could not accept it for herself.

We would laugh when she announced; "I'm 'gon lay my religion down, cuss yo' black a** out, den pick it back up again."  Sad to say, I think a lot of people think that way.  When we perceive that we have been wronged  we instantly forget about GOD and want to handle it ourselves.  I think most people still bristle at Jesus' advice to turn the other cheek.

We don't want to be seen as weak , plus we are mad.  I grew up in a very violent family and I would fight.  To be perfectly honest, I still have a lot of that hostility in me.  I love Jesus, but I am not Jesus.  Don't push me.  I hope and pray that I would pray first.  But, I know that I am not there yet.

The problem with reserving a tiny bit of room for evil is that it will take over.  The devil is a shrewd manipulator.  He is the author and creator of paranoia.  You know; "The wicked fleeth when no one pursueth."

The devil made my mother see every one as a potential enemy or a pigeon to be plucked.  She had no respect for anyone because she had none for herself.  She couldn't love anyone because she couldn't love herself.  The devil made her ashamed to ever be wrong.  He made her compare herself to every one, made her burn with envy.  He would not let her have any joy.  He made her think that her con games were victories.  In order to boost her low self esteem she was forced to steal, destroy and most of all to LIE, to live in denial and to take her whole family with her

I told you that my mother told me that some man, some friend of the family raped her viciously 3 times when she was an eight year old little girl.  This is why I am so adamant about my cause.  This is why I demand a conversation about child abuse.

I don't know what kind of little girl my mother was.  I suspect she was a little precocious, a little" Lolita".  No matter what, no grown man had any  business touching her in that way.  I also suspect that she was rejected and scorned by the entire tiny community she lived in.  I am sure that stroked the fires for her tremendous secret hatred.

I know that she was very disappointed in her father's reaction; "Daddy didn't do nuttin' but run duh n**** off." She lamented sadly.

I am sure I will never get the the whole story.  I do know that it is estimated that 25 to 50 percent of children that are sexually abused become abusers themselves.  I know that is why she secretly molested us, arranged our sexual assaults.

Of course she knew she was wrong and was deeply ashamed.  That's why she has always been a master of deceit and subterfuge.  Sadly, it is hilarious in 20/20 hindsight. I went my whole life being constantly puzzled.  Why was I always losing one shoe?  I always worked, earned my own money and bought my own clothes. My  favorite pair of expensive shoes, now worthless.   Many beautiful suits that fit my size 4 frame perfectly, ruined.   Strangely, the skirt or the pants would turn up missing.

I was in the 3rd grade, showed my mother my homework.  Proud! It was beautiful. When I went to turn it in the next day I couldn't find it. I never found it.   Again I was mystified.

Sneaky and covert, that's what the devil will do.  He will turn you into sneaky slimy vermin and you will hate yourself.  You will do things to dishonor yourself compulsively.  You will have no restraint or self discipline, no dignity.  You will become a woman without virtue, with out discretion.  You will want it, crave it, but that little evil you secretly harbor will forever prevent you

I now understand why my mother had sex with all those men in that day room of the barracks in my presence when I was 19.  She could not help herself.  She had sold out to satan and he was having his way with her, degrading her.  Poor Martha has been lost in self hatred for her entire life.  She can't hear GOD, can't listen and can't see.  Pray for her.  Pray that she will finally hear the LORD tenderly calling.  Pray that one day she will realize that she is forgiven.

Spewing hatred, curses and lies on me is an instant satanic reaction.  It could happen to you , to me, if you reserve even a small space for evil.  If you think or say; "Jesus is too slow, I'm gon' cuss yo' a** out right now!"

Let GOD handle your problems.  Let Him fight your battles.  In due time Jesus will fix it.  Trust GOD, He rights every wrong.

Stay in His WORD children.  Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."

May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth, engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)