Down to the wire

Still observing, still recalling critical events … I wonder is there a point, what is the true lesson we all should have learned? Obviously, "Fear no man/woman." ; is the first.  "Your enemies shall be of your own household ."; is the most important.

Saw it, heard it, read it.  But what did it mean? How could I know that a pure demon from the lowest depths of hell could come to this earth, put on a wig and a dress, maim, torture, MURDER, for 87 years?  Few can believe such evil? Unrelenting! Devious and manipulative down to her last day.  Spewing venom, perpetuating her greatest lies.  Sons, locked in shame unable, too cowardly, too faithless to ever tell.  She swore them to secrecy pretending that she was innocent.  Pretending that her kind benevolence of giving them life placed an undue economic hardship on her.  That she was only trying to "teach" them.

When is anyone ever going to  notice that any thing they attempted around that bitch failed?   At 33 years old she crushed me, socked me in the stomach with one of her pronouncements.  We were sitting in the her kitchen with the bay window.  In the home she bragged about without ceasing.  I was feeling pretty down as it was.  I was truly devastated but I pretended to be happy that my sudden marriage had ended just as suddenly.  I had a two month old beautiful baby girl that I claimed I was glad to raise on my own.

My mother sat there and ran me down to my aunt in front of my face.  I sat there stoic.  I was a "broke ass".  I was lame, I had no game.  I couldn't distinguish a fag from a "man".  Ha-ha-ha she laughed. The bitch was gleeful! Her eyes sparkled.  She had me, I finally failed at something.

I took all of her "playful" insults.  Accepted the fact that I was "too black" for this world, "too hard luck".  The best I could do was let her walk all over me.  That way she would help me get a car in her name.  The sorry nigger took both the cars!  Sorry muthaf******!

One final insult cut me to the bone, devastated me; "Gwen, she a snake! She a sneaky snake!"  I was crushed into a fine powder, right there.  I was outraged! But I was terrorized at the same time.  You would NOT talk back to Mathy Jane! You would not so much as make eye contact. You would get abused, eviscerated, cast down, stomped into the mud, made fun of and like it!  You would not cry in her presence.  Everything was your f****** fault any way!   You should not have been born.  Sly insults, all day for your entire life.

"Oh Miss Mathy, is this your beautiful daughter?"  "Yea, but can you believe how BLACK she is? Can you believe I cud have such a blaaaaaaaaaaack chile!?  …. she jealous of me cause I'm yalla!"

I am very sure we became desensitized to her gross brutal savage behavior.  Fell in lockstep, went along with her bullshit to just get along, to just get by.  Wished like hell all of her bullshit was true.  " I jest luv my churin!  I jest love my daddy! I jess love duh LAWD!"

"Good riddance to bad rubbish."  Just another day in a godless world.  Where people hate a GOD they refuse to know.  We ALL live in a land where fake christians rule with an iron hand.  Very, very few have the courage to stand up to their Mathy Janes.  We just pretend …everything is lovely and we are all fine.  We attend funerals, weep and cry for the crowd.  Just play along, the world doesn't need to know that you are as happy as a lark! "Thank YOU Jesus! "  You celebrate silently in your heart.

For the first time in a very long time you grin from ear to ear.  But, now you are incensed and confused.
"Dem niggers didn't love her! They hated that muthaf******* as much as I did!  When did this bitch suddenly become a saint? Untouchable?  Did them niggers know the same slut I did!?  Who do they think they are fooling? Are they afraid?  Are they really that dumb, that clueless? Or are they just as evil and uncaring?"

There are a lot of things I still don't know, may never know.  There are a lot of things I want.  The one thing I want the most LORD; is No More! No more Jezebel spirited women like Martha Jane Walters , is my prayer in Jesus Name!

[Excerpt from The JR WALTERS Chronicles   August 29, 2014   All rights reserved.]