A child was born in 1925, as a small child bludgeoned a puppy to death. Right then and there, that was a sign! What could her parents do? Did they beat her? Did they cause her to hate and lie more than she would have?
One thing for sure, 20/20 hindsight reveals a monster sadist of the greatest magnitude. I can not satisfy my deep curiosity. The more I remember, the more I dig, the more I want to know. At 63 I am backtracking, trying to discover how she tricked us, tricked simple men that just wanted to love her, how she tricked me for so long.
I think it was mainly what we wanted to believe. Mathy Jane was very good at selling make believe, she could spin a great fairy tail. Every day she woke up with a better dream than the day before. Like fools we would run to school with stories of ; "My mother gon' open a restaurant on Murcherson Road! …." We would go on and on repeating every detail she spun with us. How she was going to secure the license. Weeks latter we would realize we were lied to once again. Mathy Jane was just talking. Blowing smoke, talking to hear her head roar. How could we know that she was all mouth, void of all shreds of genuine commitment to anything. Poor Martha, just another whore, would turn a trick at the drop of a hat. Poor Martha, stuck on whoredom. Selling "booty" was her dream. Going to the highest bidder was as far as Martha's ambition went. That was fine. But, she had no right to interfere with anyone else's dream.
We have a problem now. Perhaps Mathy Jane could not help being a sadist, even a pedophile, but a robber. A Highway man. When men traveled from Africa to the Far East and Europe their greatest fear was Highway men. Low men that would lie in wait to ambush the caravans carrying gold and spices. These Highway men had done nothing to earn the wealth they stole. What made them feel entitled? Brute strength ? opportunity? "It's a dog eat dog world" mentality?
I can understand a woman becoming pregnant "accidentally". I also understand the decision made by some to abort. But, to have and hate? To have, then secretly hate, stalk and rob for 40, 50, 60, 70 years!? Just what kind of demon are you!? What the **** did you do to yourself? Ain't that much stupidity on the face of this earth! If you could add up all the dumbest beliefs on this earth and multiplied them by a million they could never reach the level of your so called stupidity. You were never that stupid! But, you were that wicked!
Get thee behind me satan! Bow down you stanking reprobate! You did it to yourself! You have no one to blame! You knew better! I am not buying your innocence because you had sense enough to hide it! Your brilliant deceit is absolute proof that you knew better, knew better to your dying day.
You just didn't care. Could not care about a fellow human being. Martha you locked in on lying as a way to survive and never let go. Poor Martha, I think you hated yourself for being a lying reprobate. You hated it so much that you lied and plotted to cover up your weaknesses and the fact that you hated yourself. Martha your life is proof that satan will do nothing but tie you up into knots. You insisted on believing that a good lie, a better lie, was the solution. The truth is you could never control your ravenous eye. You threw your precious life away, refused to listen to your daddy, then hated him for being right. Every time you looked at one of your bastard babies you had proof that your father was right, that GOD was right. So you behaved like a spoiled rebellious evil child.
Martha, I am going to accept your life as an example of what can happen to someone that can't make up their mind. A wishy washy person that wants to serve GOD and satan. "You will hate the one and love the other."
And what's so bad, you lived the worse life possible for 87 years, and what did you get!? You got rebuke and scorn, exactly what you deserve.
Have mercy on us LORD! Have mercy as we learn your WORD, learn to trust you, learn to bravely stand.
[Excerpt fro The JR WALTERS Chronicles August 17, 2014 All rights reserved.]
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