Be not dismayed

I found myself nearly despondent again today.  The "black" pharmacist at Walmart nutted up on me and would not give me any emergency pills for my prescription she claimed  she could not refill without my physicians OK.  I explained I was between doctors, I turned sixty-five and I am now on Medicare.

I wasted hours of my time while she hemmed and hawed, lying,  afraid to give me a few pills.  So, GOD tells me to research my medication.  Low and behold it is DANGEROUS!  DO NOT TAKE THIS MEDICATION IF YOU ARE DIABETIC!  I am diabetic!

These damn "Indian/foreign ass" doctors were KILLING  me.  I have to laugh as I thank GOD for (HIS) good looking out again!  I have NEVER trusted one fucking doctor in my life!

  No one should judge any one by their color.   Jesus told us to judge not that we be not judged.  "Love ye one another as I have loved you!"

Don't dismiss people as "no count" for the the color of their skin.  LOVE! CARE!

The best thing that ever happened for me in my life has been RETIREMENT.  While I am "old" I do get to relax, to read, to think.   To do art, to sing, dance, invent.  I get to pray more, meditate more, study my Bible more.

My mother did help me to retire early but , I paid her back every penny.

 I do get why she found it impossible to repent.  Well, I get why she used her abominable sins as a reason to feel unworthy of repentance.  She was not unworthy.  "We all have sinned."  She knew that.  Martha, really didn't care, could not care and was in fact a SADIST!

A SADIST IS A FUCKING SADIST!  They are SADISTIC!  They will hurt you!  They get off on inflicting pain.  They really, really do.

Tied up!  She tied my naked brother up like a HOG! BEAT HIM BLOODY!

This world has come to that.  PERVERTS are hiding in the "Church".  Their victims are too terrorized , too numb, too defeated, too destroyed or too dead to reveal them.

I will!  I know it is because the old slut messed around and re-opened old wounds and   "That boy" came back "home" .   GOD revealed some truth to me that  "slayed " me, laid me out, knocked me over.  I will never be right, "normal".

I do know that brother Paul used to be Saul and used to kill Christians.  If GOD could save Saul and turn him into Paul,   GOD can do the same thing for one of us, for my brothers, for any and everyone that desires to be saved.  It is that simple.

My own mother hated, persecuted and stalked me for sixty-two years!  GOD saved me!   I "endured to the end."

Praise the LORD!

P.S.

While I was yet despondent The LORD Jesus Christ came to me again and whispered; "I got this! I got you boo!  Haven't I always had you, saved you, opened doors for you?   …Why would I change now!?"

I simply smiled (beamed) and whispered back, Thank You LORD!