"Look down that lonesome road"

Your road is going to be lonely.  You must walk it alone.  But don't walk it bullied and controlled by your ignorant demonic mother that never tired of tormenting you and NEVER  came to the truth or repentance.

Let me hurry up and tell you why GOD gave us that Book.  We need it!  We need it and we need Him!  If my tragic, extremely painful life demonstrates nothing to you, you can clearly see you need cover.  You need GOD's intervention. and guidance.

satan cheats!  S/he is a common low whore.

 "You done runt out dawthur …you can't sink no lower."   That is all Jerome Walters had to say on the matter.  There was no more that could be said.  I am sure , I was , at the most two years old.  I remember Mathy screaming, hollering, her innocence.

"Dey one thang' bout duh truf   …it will make you fighting mad or shouting' glad."

No one won that day.  Granddaddy knew who and what Martha was.  He knew there was no point in continuing to waste his breath on her.

"Nevah waste yo'breath on a fool   … or cast your pearls befo' swine …"

"You can lead a hoss to wadder, but you cain't make him drank …fools die 'fuh' won't of wisdom …well go on …do jest lak yo'wanna …it ain't gon' end well … I dun tole'cha."

My LORD! My LORD! Never in a million years did I expect my life to end up like this.  This is not the great honor and distinction I yearned for.    I knew though.    I knew all the miserable time.    I so hated being a fake.  Going places and my beautiful, charismatic "mother" introducing me proudly as her beautiful daughter.  I did love it.  Did I think it was fake?  Some time.  But I wanted it to be real so desperately, I went along.   Why, the very word MOTHER is an icon.  The title is sacred.  Do you want to die, quick, fast and in a hurry?  Talk about somebody's mother!  Even people playing the "dozens" steer clear of overly harsh "mother diss".

I know I am not the only person with an evil manipulative mother.  Too many people purely hate their mothers.  Too many bitches are too evil.  Too many women take advantage of being female.  My mother did.  She was a "lady" until she wanted to pulverize your ass.  The bitch became one demonic Hulk in less that 30 seconds.  Say the wrong thing!

I wonder how many other people in this world are just going along, playing along for the viewing public?

I couldn't do it in that "marriage".  Martha Jane Walters was enough of living with a fake, down low ******!  Plus, I knew that if I did not soon shed myself of this ignorant albatross, I was going to catch a case.  My daughter would never get to know me and my poor baby would fall in the hands f the dreaded Mathy Jane.

GOD intervened , saved me, saved us.  I still purely hate "fake Christians".  That "thang" lived in
church" too.  No wonder so many people doubt GOD.

Don't look for GOD in a building.  That is fellowship.  Find GOD in your heart.  If He is not there, pray for the indwelling.  And what ever you do, don't lie!  GOD DOES NOT LIE!  HE DOES NOT REQUIRE YOU TO LIE!  To clam, to dis-remember.

GOD told me to tell on this "stanking" 'ho!  The foul language is real.  If you think it is bad now, you should have heard me growing up.  I cursed in high school!  Why I was never sent to the office or reported was because my teachers always loved me, and apparently secretly agreed with what ever I was vulgarly venting about.

I was the same kind of teacher.  I would turn a blind eye to students I favored.  I was always so proud of my scholars.  Students that read, studied were still competitive.  Students that were aggressive learners, young philosophers.  Respectful but had big dreams and knew to respect and honor anyone trying to help them, from the janitor on up.

There were too many students that made me pray.  Vipers!  The vipers are here!  That was a viper that shot up the movie theatre in Louisiana last night.  The vipers are every where.  Don't live in this world unprotected.  PRAY!  

HONOR GOD! HONOR YOUR MAKER! PRAY!  DO NOT BLAME GOD FOR THE WORKERS OF INEQUITY! 

Study!  Show yourself approved!  "Come ye out from among them!"

PTL!

I press on    ...

"Praise GOD from whom all blessings flow"

I am sure, if pressed, I can recite every creed and doxology in the AMEZion "manuel".  No, I don't knock it, I love it.  I thank Almighty GOD,  that while my  mother was bent toward evil, she loved "Church".

I love "Church" and the Church to come.  There will be no more Mathy Jane Jezebels. There will be no more sneaky, whorish men and women mocking GOD and blocking blessings!   Martha's evil was too sadistic, far too severe to be discussed.  Ignorant family secrecy and deliberate misunderstanding of GOD's WORD kept her in our lives.  Plus, Mathy Jane, had to be.  GOD had to "Let" her "let" until she be taken out.

Martha's evil would take your breath away.  She would do things so shocking, so repulsive, so reprehensible, you never wanted to ever think about them again.  To speak of them would be agony, I always expected.  I just found not do it.  I could not bring certain images to my mind.  I went along.  I studied, I planned my get away.  I had know idea the sick whore would lure me back just for the sadistic fun of it.


"Naw ….can't be   …impossible"; I always rationalized her deeds.  Plus, I wasn't into getting assaulted, verbally and or physically.   Say "sumpt'in!"  Just say anything.  Roll your eyes, indicate that you disapproved of anything Mathy Jane did.  See if you were not soon suffering.

I am sure all of those starvation diets she cleverly "designed" had something to do with me, something I said.  I see now, while Martha carried a great masculine bravado persona, she was a coward.  Who can't tie up their already destroyed 12 year old son ,  beat him into a bloody pulp , then dare him to ever tell a living soul?

As children I guess we thought that meant she was tough,  one not to be messed with.  I know now she was the lowest coward that ever lived.  Martha lived the life of a low,  cowardly,  despicable,  human being.   She was beyond trifling.  There is no excuse because she knew.  Martha did not care!  She could not care because she was void of all morals, she never met a boundary she was bound to respect, that she would not deliberately, viciously and savagely cross! AND YOU WOULD NOT TELL ON HER!!!

Again, my blog is where I come to heal.  I do need healing.  GOD is healing me one cell at a time.  I am learning.  Demon possession is not only possible, it is prevalent.

Put your armor on children.  Pray!  Pray for the indwelling of GOD's Holy Spirit.  You need it.   Don't let the evil one talk you out of it.  satan doesn't play fair.  S/he does the unthinkable, all the time.

I am sure there are many people that just loved my mother, adored her and thought the world of her.  I know you did, because I did.   I did knowing her past, knowing her present.  I was still foolish enough to forgive her time after time, after time.

Martha was that good of a demon, that great of a liar, an actress, a phony "Christian".

I knew she MURDERED  my grandfather.  Yet, I went back to her lair after a 9 year hiatus.  Yes, I did con myself into believing she would apologize one day.

Yes, GOD sent me back because only GOD could know, what I didn't know.  What would have never crossed my mind.

Bow down satan.

PTL!

I press on    ...

"Call a thing, a thing"

Call what is, what it is!  My mother, Martha Jane Walters, was a perverted pedophile.  She was a lot of other things, but perverted pedophile,  stands out.   I have to be slightly amused.  Most people don't have the courage to read or think about a person like my mother.  What about us, what about me?  We had to live her, survive her!   But I  think all of it can be traced back to the fact that she was raped as a child and became a  pedophile.

She told me that she hated her mother for always beating her and accusing her of playing with her younger brother's "pee-pee".

A small child inappropriately touching another child is not entirely new.  How do we handle such a situation is new.    Beating is certainly not the answer.

Did my mother experience a great deal of brutality after her rape? Did this cause her to spiral out of control and end up the monstrosity she died as? I am mystified.   How do I know it actually happened?  Martha was such a liar.

I do not doubt that she was a child predator.  The three rapes she told me about and the fact she did smash a puppy.

If nothing else, a long exhaustive list of demonic deed, after demonic deed,  proves something was very wrong with Martha.

I have decided that I don't want too be included in a family that will deliberately keep such a creep a family secret.  A family willing to keep the likes of Martha  secret will not miss me.

Her church?  I can't go in there.  She told me, she said it, she told me what kind of people they were … I guess she didn't lie.  I do know that my Mathy Jane Experience has taught me a lot.  It sure taught me that my grandfather was right.

"Man does not do what is right.  Man does what is convenient."  

I am leaving all my blogs ,  when I am not around people can conveniently peruse them at their own leisure.   Finally accept the truth.   They can study my blog and trace the ravages of a complete psychopath.

"We didn't come here to stay always."  No, GOD called us here to do something for Him, for Kingdom building, then leave.  Leave a legacy worthy of study,  if not emulation.  Please don't  live, torment and just die!

Do repent of your sins.  Do pray.  Do seek GOD's face.

PTL!

I press on    ...

I believe in miracles

I think I melted away yesterday.  Just pure melted.  You could have poured me down any drain.  I'm still here, still doing what I have to do to "carry on".

I was sharing (very nonchalantly ) with someone I love and admire very much, the fact that GOD has been talking to me, leading and guiding me for 64 years.  I was shocked, actually dumbfounded when I heard her reaction;"I known you THINK you have been talking to GOD all these years." And laughed.

All I can say is; "What am seen, can't be denied."  I collected that from one of the volumes of slave narratives I've  read.  I read 48 volumes of slave narratives and black people treat and have treated me like I have leprosy.

There is only one race, THE HUMAN RACE!

I have not been mistreated on this earth because of the color of my skin, it's the only "valid" argument the evil one can come up with.

"Suffer the little children to come unto me.  Forbid them not the Kingdom of Heaven".  You put your nasty,  filthy,  perverted hands on  your own children.  Bragged that you  flushed FIVE innocent babies   down the toilet.  You were so no mannered and so much of a pushy terrorist bully, you demanded to PREACH!

You preached , you perverted, you refused to repent and now you left a lot of people here just as low and immoral as you were.

I do not care who you are, or where you are, to know a woman like my mother and continue to remain silent , is not GOD's will.  How do you expect GOd to bless you and you know satan had a serpent in the pulpit and you never opened your mouth?

You can't blame that on GOD or on white people.

I'm sorry, you don't have to shun me, I shun you.  I refuse to associate with people common enough to kept silent over the likes of Martha Jane Walters!

# BLACK LIVES MATTER!   And not one black person will so much as speak to me or discuss how my mother was able to pull off her great affront to GOD!

Every one is consciously silent.  Voodoo/ Witchcraft, rape, molestation, and pedophilia are subjects that are never to be discussed.  Just shut your mouth.  Heal yourself.  Pretend to be "normal".  "Just don't think about it."

That's right,   black America, let's not think about it.  Let's blame white people, white America,  for all of our problems.

I am so glad I found out in time, "color" was just a ruse.

PTL!

I press on   ...

His Grace and Mercy

I am so humbled, I feel faint.  At this precise moment I am as weak as water.  Amazed! Honored! Anointed! Appointed!  Praise the LORD!

It had to be GOD on my side.  Dear LORD,  thank you for the blinders.  Thank you for the antidote, the balm in Gilead.  "There is a balm in Gilead to save the sin sick heart."

An arrogant demon came to this earth and enslaved, massacred, butchered, destroyed, decimated  and enticed,  far too many into captivity.

There are two people on this earth that Martha Jane Walters should have kept her filthy talons off of; Jerome Walters and myself.

I see her diabolical secrets are still safely hidden and cloaked with others.  I won't!  That savage did me (us) too much wrong.  That lascivious demon laughed in my face, stabbed me in the back, repeatedly, for 62 years!  Robbed me blind.  Traded her miserable whorish life for mine,  knowing full well her sadistic deeds had left me a shell of a woman, a complete eunuch.

Martha knew.  Martha also knew,  I knew.  We both knew that we were both too weak to face the truth.  I think it was around 2005.  We were excited, elated.  My long lost brother had returned home after 25 years!

I assumed he just could not take her controlling him any more.  I had no idea what deep secrets lay buried.

 We were driving slowly down Highway #301 in Wade, North Carolina.  Reminiscing,  my "mother" was pointing out the house she was born in, laughing about that famous Miss Jody Cook.    For some reason, I insisted on visiting my grandfather's grave.  I was ashamed to admit it, I had never been back since we laid him to rest in 1979.

Martha always had an excuse for never wanting to visit his grave.  Mainly,  it was always too "grown up", the weeds and trees had taken over.  "Yo'cain' t git down in dere'"

I had been gone for too many years.  Plus,  I knew if I pressed her too hard , I was going to get the "treatment".  The silent treatment, the talked about to my face treatment,  called filthy names to my face and behind my back.  The withdrawal of phony love "treatment".

It wasn't worth it.  Granddaddy was still dead.  He wasn't going anywhere and I might have to remember that it was she, Martha Jane Walters MURDERED HER OWN DADDY!

Dear LORD, help me tell this story.  It was the eyes.  The same red glowing demonic eyes I saw when she held this three year old down in the woods cursing the life out of me.  I saw those same eyes when she brutally and savaged beat my naked twelve year old brother nearly to death.

I saw those eyes when I was raped!  I saw those same red hell fire glowing eyes when I caught her trying to deafen my newborn daughter.

GOD said NO!

Bow down satan!  Go straight back to hell , you cur!

PTL!

I press on    ...

"This bitter earth"

Tiny, little body nearly earth bound.  Little stubby legs, raggedy, in dirty "draws" I used to watch her.  Actually stare.  A little brown baby in this horrible, wicked world alone.  Well, not quite alone.  I had my granddaddy and that "no count" woman that claimed to be my mother.

I didn't know a lot at two but I knew this woman purely hated me.  Truthfully, I didn't think much of her either.  So, her deliberate failure to hug or comfort me was alright.

I was granddaddy's lap baby.  If he sat, I was there, climbing his long legs like a little monkey.  Do know the bitch begrudged me that, too.

Why am I telling?  I am proud!  What an awesome GOD I serve!  Look what my GOD saved me from!

PTL!

I press on    ...

"A sad and pathetic truth" ...

was the name of a poem I wrote in the late 70's.  I used to do "Poetry Slams" in little clubs and on the WRFG.  My "mother" picked at me, called me lame and weird.  I did it any way.

Botom line, my poem blames black people for the problems of black people.  I told the truth.  Martha!  You started sexually molesting, burning and branding your own children in infancy.  The fact that you got clean away is not impressive.  It is nothing your descendants should admire.  Martha Jane Walters!  You MURDERED your own father and I am the only living relative willing to reveal you.

I will succeed!

My "Sad and Pathetic Truth" was the most real "Poem" I ever wrote.  While heart breaking, it is true, every word.  I sit here barely whole, subsisting  on a "minimum wage" pension because I was blessed with an evil, ignorant, greedy, demonic mother.

A cursed family is mine, brothers still happy with crumbs, docile slaves every last one of them.  Human beings so degraded, so defeated by a MONSTROSITY , they think they are happy.

I don't know what happened, but, I reject The Mathy Jane Experience.  No,  low whorish woman is going to come to this earth, live the life Martha Jane Walters lived for 87 years, and just die!  No apology, no confession, no inheritance, no explanation, nothing!

Hell No!  This common slut left so many defeated, devastated bodies  strewn behind her it is indeed a HOLOCAUST!

"Can't tell on her!?"

GOD blessed me (us), saved me(us) and you think I'm not going to brag about it!?  Testify of the goodness of GOD!?  I have to!  I must!  GOD has been too good to me , I must  scream, I must  shout,   I must  praise Him!

My "mother" happened to be a black woman , but, I assure you,  the depth of her depravity had nothing to do with the color of her skin.

My story, my testimony is the best example of Spiritual Warfare you will ever find.

Dear LORD, thank you for my Mathy Jane Experience!

PTL!

I press on   ...