but as gentle as a dove." A person as wise as a serpent is an alert person, all their antennae are up, scanning for danger.
I noticed it often, over and over, never knowing what it was, always suspicious, always cautious, wary. I certain;y understand why. I was four the first time I found my "behind" up in some man's face, in harm's way, at the very secret urging of my "mother".
Did she think she was clever enough to get away for ever? Yes! No one was more upset, more riled and vexed than Martha for the two of us, the two close kin that expressed doubt about her suicide explanation for her father's untimely death by .38 caliber bullet in the heart.
Martha always bragged about how good looking her father was, so she certainly was not going to shoot him in the head and make him unfit for an open casket.
Martha was one woman that fully believed she had the right to do just as she pleased, exactly when and how she pleased. And did! Why not? When was she ever stopped? When was her evil ever prevented? Just when did her victims ever reveal her? Why? You could not tell what she did. If you told , you were going to be the one scorned, reviled, rejected. Few would believe you and even fewer would ever care. There were no words in this child's vocabulary.
"Don't you ****** eva' tell nobody! …Dis our luddle secret."
The truth is Martha Jane Walters was a pedophile! A pedophile from childhood. A sexually promiscuous child that was not going to be stopped. Why wasn't the man arrested or murdered for raping her three times? THREE TIMES! How does an eight year old child go about getting raped thee times by the same "family friend'?
Families shouldn't keep secrets and families should not cloak for reprobates.
Divine Order in affect! Crooked ways being made straight. "Chickens coming home to roost." "Just and honest due being handed out." Jesus fixing it!
there is one thing my mother hated. Other than just hating me for bothering her with my worthless life, Martha hated the fact that I could talk. That I communicated so well. Whether in writing or verbally. I am a great communicator. How can I help it? My great-grandmother, Mary Wright Walters was a brilliant communicator, as was her mother, Mary Wright. As, was my grandfather, Jerome Walters.
It seems that my mother demanded that I be retarded, slow to think, an inarticulate stutterer. Just how was she, an very intelligent woman, ever going to have dumb children? Intelligence rides the dominant gene. My mother may have reproduced with men less intelligent but, her remarkable intelligence over rode any possible dimwittedness.
Martha did have a criminal mind. I don't have it. Praise GOD that gene bypassed me. Anger, a quick temper, I do have unfortunately. I pray daily. When vexed, GOD dispatches His angels to keep me from harm, to keep me from harming others.
Please, lean not to your own "misunderstanding". Pray, ask GOD for His guidance daily. Only He can lead you in the path of Righteousness. If you know anything about this cold, cruel , world we inhabit, it is to not trust man, woman. Some creatures are extremely predatory. Man is one creature that is extremely predatory, without proper guidance and instruction.
'If a rose is called by another name is it still a rose?' If you call a complete ignorant demon , "mother", does that make her a "mother"? "If your right eye offend thee, pluck it out."
The day Mathy deliberately scalded her little black bastard son with a pot of boiling hot coffee, just because she could, just because she was a superb actress and would never be suspected, just because she was secretly ashamed of herself for having so many bastard "younguns" without daddies. Just because Martha Jane Walters was a complete sold out imp for satan , that day should have been the day Jerome Walters plucked. That should have been the day Mathy was plucked from "among us", cast into prison to rot. I understand, granddaddy did not want to see what he saw.
For sixty-two years I did not want to see what I saw. I for sixty-two years I experienced horrors still too painful to recall.
It is all in Divine Order. Martha was tolerated because she was a part of GOD's Supreme Plan. She is a demonstration of how He makes "every crooked way straight.". Some imps for satan left evidence of their handy work on my "house". Why? They know full well they can not prosper.
Unfortunately when you are a reprobate, you are an imp. An imp is a slave for the evil one. The imp has no mind of his/her own, no self control. They are little piss ant robots for satan. While embarrassed by their own evil deeds, they are powerless to stop without calling on the mighty name of Jesus!
An imp will lie! Will perpetrate, will put on a complete Los Vegas performance on the demand of the evil one. But do know that an imp for satan will never humble his or herself to Christ. They can not do it. And worse, they will hate you the more for knowing their truth.
"To GOD be the Glory!" They can't win. Martha died knowing full well that she sank to the bottom of satan's bottomless pit. She was not sorry nor in the least way remorseful. She was greedy, ravenous, just wanted to take as many with her as possible.
Just another "factoid" taught to me by my grandfather. Had he been born white and privileged , there is no doubt that my grandfather would have stood out as a fearless hero, a great philosopher, a great religious leader. As it was, GOD planted him where he was needed most, by many, in the belly of the beast. On a farm in rural North Carolina at the turn of the century, when "blacks" suffered nightly for being "black".
There are over seven billion human beings on this planet earth and I count it a privilege to still be among the living. GOD is still granting me the opportunity to make a difference. If nothing else, my life proves that a sociopath, a witch, a volunteer imp for satan, can be overcome.
My life alone demonstrates that the "fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much." Time does change all things. Mathy did birth us, conditioned us to absorb the most excruciating pain for her sadistic pleasure. Enduring the slightest pain was something she could not do. We had to nurse her through her "hangovers" ever weekend. "Chrush duh ice inside a towel wid duh hammer! I want Saltine crackers! I WANT CHICKEN AND RICE NOT NO CHICKEN NOOOOOOOODLE!!! I want ice cold Coke not no ************ Pepsi! BRIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
Growing up I had no idea I was essentially my mother's quarry slave. Did she ever expect me to catch on? to live that long? Not only did we live long, I lived long enough to ask for, to request an apology, at least an explanation.
I did not expect to get cursed out. And I did not expect my family to abandon me for her. Not her! She did not fool anyone. Sure we tolerated her, but we were never as fooled as we pretended. We (I) watched her "work roots". I dismissed it and considered her ignorant and her practice something left over from slavery.
To discover so many people still fearing her is startling. (They must be taught better.)
She could not so much as have a baby without demanding every "knock- out- drug" known to man.
I on the other hand, I delivered my baby after twenty-eight hours of "natural childbirth". I could not risk her mental health with my use of drugs, pain killers. I remember giving all that pain up to Jesus., praying that He bear it for me. (He did. ) She was born with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck, slowly suffocating her as she was being delivered.
GOD was in the room, He marched around that delivery room. Just as my daughter was being born the doctor rushed in! Saved my daughter in the nick of time. No one was there except for GOD. No nurse, no attendant, no husband and no mother. Just GOD!
satan has stalked and whooped on me for sixty-four years! "Bow down satan!" You impudent, ignorant, always losing, never learning cur! How can you be so tenacious, never giving up on evil? Always spying, plotting evil? Sit down satan! Sit your dead ass down!
My mother had no excuse for mistreating her own father so. She had no excuse for her continued rebelliousness either. She knew better. Unfortunately Martha was dragging three demonic spirits with her. She had a Cain spirit of envy and jealousy. Every human being is subject to the influence of such. It can be prayed away. Martha had a Jezebel spirit. She loved it. It was a seductress, exactly what she wanted to be. Martha also had a Python spirit. She acquired that spirit going down on those graves collecting "goofer dust".
Martha could have ended her relationship with all those spirits if she had only desired. Do desire to be saved children. Do desire the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
The evil forces of this this world will render you a total mental cripple. You will know that you are wrong but vehemently refuse to change because you are too perfect to be wrong. You worry about what the world will think about you, knowing your deep dark secrets, while not ever caring about your sick demonic deeds. Falsely believing and declaring secrecy and silence is all you need., you wax worse and worse.
Pride will keep you from apologizing to your victims. It will make you hate your victims more than you already secretly hate them, for having the nerve, for having the "grit in their craw" to confront you, their deeply closeted tormentor.
Pride will make you believe your own lies. When caught, caught red handed, you will act the pure demonic fool, you will feign mental illness, you will roar , though you now be extremely elderly and toothless.
Pride will make you give monetary gifts to your flying monkeys in exchange for their complicity. "Just close your eyes to the truth. Put that truth away, far away. Put one foot in front of the other. Press on. Forgive! Press on! Live confuse, beleaguered, vexed. Press on." That was my life for so long. Do know, at no time was I not searching for the truth. I found out that you will never get the truth from a professional liar. A lie can never be the truth even if every member of your family cling to it. Nothing, no one can make a Christ lover give up the right for the wrong.
A rock will cry out before I will bend to satan! Yes, "it doth appear" I bent or feared pure evil for a very long time. Do know I was being shaped, prepared, broken and remade. Do know, this world, not clever demon, no matter how clandestine, can make me doubt GOD!
We all must do what the Holy Spirit urges us to do.
I know my redeemer lives!
I know I was created for such a time as this!
I know I must preach and proclaim the love and forgiveness of our LORD Jesus Christ!
it was a collective decision. It was more conditioning out of fear, of failure to question, failure to accept our awful truth. Just human myths and alibis kept us tethered to this albatross. We would not so much as parted our lips to her otherwise. The best analogy I can think of is of a frog boiling in a pot. The little frog was placed in the pot as a tadpole, the heat was gradually turned up. We accepted our excruciating pain and stupidity , not because we wanted to , we had just grown up so accustomed to mistreatment , we accepted it as a part of life.
We, as an extremely fearful society , are always yelling "hush", "just don't say nothing!" And very sad to admit the greatest rebuke I have received for finally revealing my mother have been from so called "Christians". Christian idiots. People that wear the "church house" out. People that tithe and serve in great capacities. People more worried about perception than reality. People that willing live with people they hate, talk about them behind their backs and would never confront them to their face. People ready to brag to GOD about their good works. People blind and won't see.
Martha was what Mathy was, an abomination! A female rapist, perverted sociopath, a loud clamorous bangee, imp, monstrosity, that you did not want to meet on your worse day, ever, in life or in the here after! . Oh yes, Mathy was a tragic accident going somewhere to happen. She was NOT going to be recognized, criticized, ostracized or prevented! You were going to endure her in silence! Not one word of truth were you ever going to speak concerning her "condition".
Martha knew full well that she had a "condition". She knew full well that she was evil, jealous, lustful, common and despicable. She knew that you knew and we all knew to not speak on it, to ignore it. To pretend that it didn't exist or to hurry and forgive and never expect such to happen ever again, but brace yourself anyway.
Just live your life struggling, fighting for every crumb, for this lecherous reprobate to grin in your face and secretly snatch it back. It was a sick game with Martha. You had to play it! You had no choice! Your head was in the lion's moth! You could not win! "You can' win fuh duh fix you in! I can't lose fuh duh stuff I use!"
Do know Martha sang that song to us every day of our lives. Yes, she did deliberately humiliate us and yes, she did get completely away, EVERY TIME! Yes, she did MURDER her own father in an attempt to keep us away from a loving, protecting, forgiving GOD. Martha lived the life of a complete reprobate, ravenous wolf. She enjoyed it , as well she should. She made it up, made up the rules as she went and she was always the winner.
So, why did my mother write me a letter, wipe her behind in it and mail it to me? Why did she expect me to understand that? to accept that kind of treatment still? What made her think there was anything right about such reprehensible behavior? Why did she brag about hat act to others? Why did they accept it? Why did they tolerate such a relative? Where was GOD? What kind of mind could conceive of such an act?
Something is missing! Where is the love? the compassion? understanding? Where is the honor? the respect? There is none. Martha Jane Walters was a bully! A complete bully imp of the highest order. A complete imp for satan. GOD gave her brilliant talented children. She didn't want them (no, not one) but was too selfish and too proud to give them away, to place them in loving homes.
Kept them to humiliate and torture, over and over. Never changed her tactics. Never changed her modus opirindi. Never accepted responsibility for her own actions. Never told the complete truth about anything, ever! Lived as a jealous lying hater, died a jealous lying unrepentant hater. Preached repentance for others, never for herself because satan rendered her delusional. She was confused. She preached stirring sermons reinforcing her serious delusion. "Ordained minister" in front of her name helped to keep her blind. Our collective cowardly enabling behavior, did not help our plight.
Did GOD get tired or was it all in Divine Order? I know GOD created me for such a time as this! People need to know that they don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be faithful attendees or rabid Bible readers for GOD to step in and turn your life around.
Just say Jesus! You can say it in a still quiet voice or you can yell it. Just know that He is coming! Just know there is light at the end of the darkest tunnel. Just know that when you hook up with Jesus the devil can't do you any harm , no matter how long she has held you captive.
