Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm …..crying just a littleOtis Redding "The Glory of Love"

(Sometimes you have to moan so the devil won't know what you are talking about.)

Thank You LORD! Thank You for letting me have some,(Abundant Love) ,  taste some.  Thank You for Jerome Walters!  Thank You for my daughter!   Thank You for the few that have loved me on my way "home".

I sure appreciate it.  While my evil demon possessed mother may have ruined me, gutted me like a fish and laughed for sixty-two of my sixty-six years, I learned to love.  To love genuinely and sincerely.  Which I now know was quite a feat!

Old "orange anus" will not affect me! I survived the dreaded Mathy Jane! My many, many trials and tribulations with Martha taught me that grief is truly the FOUNDATION OF JOY!

"Oh ye of little faith."  Step out on FAITH  Children! Know why you are hated, shunned, rebuked, ranked, cast aside, shut out.  Jealousy! Envy!

What killed Tupac? Biggy? Jesus?   Evil, vile, common, immoral wo/ man coveting that which GOD did not grant him.   Know your truth! Now proceed!

REVERSE THE CURSE!

"COME YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"

"Church" was our drug Da Brat - Funkdafied

Over here praising GOD to Da Brat because the scripture tells me to make a joyful noise.  And this is Me!  IT IS ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD  I'm not dead or rotting in prison.

So humbled you can pour me out of a boot.  I survived a brilliant serial MURDERER! A closet incestuous pedophile sadist "ROOT WORKER"!

Praise the LORD!

• NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER! 
• ENDURE TO THE END!
• LET THE HOLY SPIRIT ABIDE!
• STEP OUT ON FAITH!
• IN ALL THY GETTING GET UNDERSTANDING!
• REDEEMED!
• RESTORED! 
• REJOICING!

One thing I know, we ALL, regardless of wealth, status or color are here on borrowed time.  Man's time is up. Man is much too wicked, too vile. 

Evil man has gone too far putting that orange anus in charge of the world.  No, it is not going to end well for any of us.  The "moneyed", the "well heeled" may indeed be laughing now as they divvy up their ill gotten gain.  What good is it?  Why? None of us can take a damn thing with us when we are snatched from the breath of life.

Yet, so many live to make others fucking miserable.  That was my "mother"!  A HORROR! A MUTHAFUCKING FEMALE RAPIST! A CARNAL MURDERING BEAST.  

The low slut was nothing but a horror from birth to beyond the grave.  I do pray for and feel so sorry for my fellow victims.  She took their balls!   I remember she always threatened them. "I'll cut yo'motherfucking balls off!" ; as her go to threat.  She did it.  Low-whore-for satan. The old slut  died with a store house of balls!

You know you were one evil, demon possessed beast,  when your victims still live in fear of your dead ass!  Perhaps I would still be living in denial with them had she not cussed me out and got caught red handed "conjuring" me.

Martha was extremely cruel but,  also extremely cowardly. Martha was not about to confront you for anything, ever.  What she was going to do , was stalk you,  "scramble your brains", "dust you" and make sure you always lived in misery.

Sure, she was going to pretend to love you, throw you a few pitiful coins.  She was going to praise you, build you up, make you think you could conquer the world , while she worked feverishly against you.

Martha had no morals, none. She readily beat and abused babies, children, the elderly.  Martha was not about to pick on anyone her own size, age or level.   Martha's last husband was the same age as her oldest son.  Martha, wasn't bothered in the least.  Why should a woman that freely engaged in group sex and more deplorable proclivities , ever care what anyone truly thought about her?

Martha's only concern was that you keep your fucking mouth shut, go to "Church" with her to help her front. 

What you were not going to do,  is prosper.  You were going to let her victimize you over and over.  You were going to drag behind her to some "Church" every Sunday!

(Why? Where else was she going to wear all of those fine clothes?  Where could she take over an entire congregation and play "Mother of the Church"? )

I loved "Church"! Mostly I loved the music, the pageantry . the theatre!  "Church" was just up my "mother's"alley.  She was a great speaker, orator, story teller, liar, comedienne, minister, pastor.

I could not have survived the real Mathy Jane without the "Church".  Luckily for me I read ahead.

Yes, I read and am still reading the book of Revelation , though my mother told me not to.

REVERSE THE CURSE!

"COME YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"

Prayers going up!Otis Redding-Rock Me Baby

Dear LORD I beseech You the best I know how. I am hurting. I am in some serious pain,  as I attempt to heal myself from the awful gutting my own mother slayed me with me.

More than my own mother being a horrid whore , I occupy a world where nobody cares.  My fellow victims try to pretend they have no idea of the pain , the anguish, the humiliation I suffered, they suffered, we suffered.  Yes, they do pretend that she didn't slay them too.

I can't do it! I won't do it! If you refuse me comfort, solace, words of pity, of encouragement,  because MY story embarrasses you, makes you uncomfortable, because you too secretly hate me.  Because you too suffer with self-hatred, envy, jealousy.  Because you are also very glad to see me suffer, I no longer need or want you in my life.

Like that "thing" I married.  He hurried to do the wrong thing to me, to say the wrong thing. He knew what he was doing. He wanted out just as much as I did. "Good riddance!"

I would go and pray over that spirit of envy, of coveting. Please do not pretend to be too good a "Christian" to love me, to care about me. I'm NOT talking about ME! I'm concerned with the children of TODAY!

 I would fast. I would seek some kind of understanding.  Why did my mother go to "Church" every single Sunday for eighty-seven years?  Was she trying to fool us? To fool GOD? Did she ever  feel guilty?  Was all that "Church" going and Bible quoting designed to keep me off her back?

The fact Martha was able to hide, suppress, disguise her incredible evil for so long, is a testament to Christ.  Proof  of [HIS]  Greatness!  Evidence of  Grace Unseen!

REVERSE THE CURSE!

"COME YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"

I refuse to answer by my slave name !Nina Simone - If He Changed My Name

  Dear LORD I am so humbled and grateful right now.  Again, you can pour me out of a boot.

Perhaps I am two hundred years ahead of my time, so be it.  If I have to cross the finish line totally alone, it is alright.  What I will not do, is pretend a harlot, some demon possessed,  slutty witch was saved, was a real minister,  in order to make other imps look good, so the dumbest of the dumb will not be embarrassed.

First of all nothing you do for Christ is ever embarrassing.  What is embarrassing ,  is finding out that you were raped, mauled, stalked, ruined, robbed by your own MOTHER for sixty-two years and very, very few in this world gave a shit! And NEVER will!

Child porn, child sex trafficking  is one of the biggest industries in the entire world!  Why? They can't talk! Innocent children CAN NOT defend themselves!  Look at that slutty nun (Argentina) just indicted for aiding priests in raping deaf children!

So called "Christians" yelling at me, telling me to shut up. I WILL NOT!  If I have to remain silent, swallow this puke spewed on me BY MY OWN MOTHER ,  in order to be deemed good enough to associate with you, FUCK YOU!

 My stupid mother may have chased you down for decades, trying to be included, feigning love in order to get love. I WON'T!

I educated MYSELF!  I paid for my education MYSELF! No one helped me but GOD!  As a matter of fact , I know I never would have made it without GOD on my side.

You racial dividers can keep on.  Keep thinking "color" matters.  Keep talking that "We" against "Them" shit!  Forget black people sold black people into slavery in the first place.

Keep having your lame ass family reunions, doing the exact same thing every year.  Keep bringing out your dry ass chicken, baked beans and burnt up hot dogs.  Keep praising and pretending.  You all just keep lock stepping straight to hell.

In the mean time, I'm going to keep talking.  I am going to keep telling because I know one day, some one will listen, some one will finally hear me.

REVERSE THE CURSE!

"COME YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"

Father! Thank You for another good getting up morning! Junior Wells & Buddy Guy ~ ''Ships On The Ocean'',''Early In The Mornin...

What a pleasure! What a joy to see such a beautiful, crisp morning under a powder blue sky.  My world is extremely small, as it should be.  I refuse to associate with liars and deniers . I am not about to lock step with people that don't know where they are going or why.

I do thank Almighty GOD for removing the blinders from my eyes.  Of course all of my  issues stem from that woman that birthed me, brought me into this world begging to be loved, to be recognized, to be included.

I do lament the fact that I tried so long.  Yes, I have always tried to be good enough to be loved by people that rejected me for being "too dark", for being a bastard, for cussing, drinking, for smoking weed.  Well, I have news for all of you dumb ass imps, quality niggers,  gleefully docile.  Proud to be patient.  Proud you did everything right.

No pre-sex,  no sex before marriage, so you claim.  You don't cuss.  No foul language has ever come out of your mouth.  But, do you think it?   Do words like sorry-ass-black-ass-muthafucker ever cross your mind?  Do you think GOD cares?

Now, the fact that I did indeed have a mother that was always "cursing", conjuring, everyone she knew,  should not be mentioned, according to you.. Based on the negro affirmation; "Jest don't say nutting'!" is applicable in my life because my testimony is so foul, REPUGNANT! YOU DON'T KNOW AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!

Well, don't know dumb asses.  Think you can intimidate me into letting a foul demon possessed woman just destroy my life as long as you look good.  Yes, let's all pretend she had a good heart, that she meant well.  Never mind all of her perversion.  Yes, let's just let a woman that began her career of debauchery killing small animals, enticing grown men into sexual intercourse with her get by because we are all to cowardly to recall that monster that used the "Church" to do abominable evil for eighty-seven years.

Make the one victim not totally destroyed , feel useless, powerless.  Pretend you can't hear her, that you can't comprehend. Scream at her, tell her to shut the fuck up! Tell her you are tried of hearing it while you do absolutely jack shit to help abused children.

Keep following tradition, keep your mouth shut.  Pretend to love GOD, announce [HE] is the Head of your life on every occasion.  Keep pretending to live perfectly.  Keep a list of your admirable qualities, you don't cuss, drink, smoke.  You tithe, you attend services two or three times a week.

You sit in judgement.  You count yourself better.  Your parents were married!  You are legitimate! Also, you are not that "dark". You graduated from college! You live in a nice roach free home.  You drive a nice car. You are RESPECTABLE!

You may be respectable but, you are a coward.  Is it easier to hate and vilify the "Truth Teller"?   Is it easier to shun me because my truth shakes your perfect image to the ground?   "Ice out" the one that makes you uncomfortable.  Don't talk to her, shun her, pretend that she doesn't exist.   Make her a non-entity while you post your perfect pictures on FaceBook!

Say nothing! Turn to stone! My mother never said anything to me about my constant accusations concerning my grandfather's murder.

Be friendly and loving in person.  Never have the courage to say what you really think about me. Just let me take decades to figure it out on my own.   Why?  I'm the bastard! I'm the one that was raped, molested, robbed, lead astray. I'm the one forced to totally educate myself.

If you don't love me, can't love me , how can you claim to love GOD?

REVERSE THE CURSE!

"COME YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"

When I look and see how rapidly ...Junior Wells (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

I went from fit and fine , to fat, flabby and fizzled out, I frown.  It seems like,  in a matter of a few short years!  Poof! "Fine gone!" "Youth spent!"

 It infuriates me because some old fag-hag chose to to fuck up my life , our lives, just because the old ignorant lazy immoral slut,  fucked up  her own life.

Well, I hope the next closet bulldagger doesn't have to "half hide" in the closet.  Bitch! Just how are you going to be sadistic enough to scald, burn and rape people, your own children, MURDER your own father and flat refuse repentance at age eighty-seven?

Naw, bitch, something is up with that bullshit.  You were just "bullshitting!"

Martha! I know you are mad.  You can be as "butch" as you want to be,  now.  Women are coming out of the closet, women are refusing to go in the closet!  You could have too , if you hadn't been so lying.

I do thank you for teaching me to fight, to always defend myself furiously, right or wrong.  That is a form of survival and it works in the "Hood".  You need only fuck one nigger up severely to get some respect.

If poor people can readily live by Hood law in the Hood, why not in "White America"?

I always did and the muthafuckers kept my black ass in the classroom with low pay for thirty years. My jealous family also. Niggers! Niggers are real!   Shun them! Do recognize them. Flee!

"Git way from 'round'um  …no'manus-ass niggas!"; words of wisdom from my grandfather.

Fear is one fucked up feeling.  No woman, no mother,  should ever fall low enough to try and pass on such a gift. Fuck you Martha! Bitch you knew better.  Just for the irony I am going to try and tell one of your jokes:

"Seems GAWD met a passel of niggerss at the Pearly Gates.  The niggas wuz all disheveled, unkempt, loud, ashy, jest fucked up.  So, GAWD say,  hell No and dispatched dem niggers straight to hell whur they should have been sunt in the first place.

Not too long adder (after)  duh niggers got to hell , GAWD's phone lak tuh rung off duh hook! 
It were duh devil hiz-sef , jest SCREAMING!   Gawd finally got him calmed down good enuf to find out whut duh madder (matter) wuz.  

Duh devil was plum outter breath, sweating, one horn broke off, tail bent, pitchfork stolen …  LAWD You got tuh come git dese Niggers!  I swur! Dese niggas done put duh fire out!"

REVERSE THE CURSE!

"COE YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"

When the gates swing open … Al Green - When The Gate Swing Open

I do wonder where the members of my family will be when "The Gates swing open" ? Will they still be hovering and cloaking for that demon we all suffered?

I did think about it, I've had a long time, anyone that has to be talked into, convinced to,  expose a demon possessed woman like my "mother" , is no friend.  I dare say they lack intelligence along with their "manhood".

Just "house niggers", dumb niggers so glad to be lighter than a paper bag, so glad to have "good hair", they volunteer to be "quality niggers".  The white man need never persecute or molest another person of color.

Black people are destroyed, mere mice, nasty little vermin.  No, not all, most.  That is the nature of man. Cain killed Abel. Black people will NOT ever help black people do shit!  Black people hate black people.  We hate ourselves! Can "WE" blame GOD?

"People" knew my "mother" was a mongrel, a piece of shit! Yet, dumb ass niggers sat up under her for years, getting "happy", never letting on they were "playing church".

Right is right! Wrong can NOT be made right. I don't care how much that mongrel preached falsely. I lost count of the lies she convinced me were coming true.  Then the dumb whore just laughed. Laughed hysterically!  Why? What in the fuck had you gained? NOTHING! so, you drove a Cadillac! It was second hand! Pre-owned is still used!

 So, we ate the huge pot of pinto beans you lifted the cooked roaches out of!  You laughed! You thought that repugnant shit was funny.  You sat your lying demonic ass up in "Church" for eighty-seven years! Why?

You used us, you used others but , do know,  satan used you up!

Martha Jane Walters served her purpose, not only did she expose the clowny "black church",  she exposed every "root working" liar in my family.

REVERSE THE CURSE!

"COME YE OUT FROM AMONG THEM!"