"Mathy you sho' stupid! And you been stupid a long time. 'You duh biggest fool I eva' seen.' That's what you used to always tell me. Man, now all these years later, all dese decades later you prove to be the fool.
No, you wudden' nevah dat smart... you went undetected fa' all dese years 'cause ain't nobody eva heard of such a woman as you. LAWD who knew any woman wud do duh kind of things you did? Thank GAWD that Book is real! Praise duh LAWD. I thank my Almight GAWD fah putting Hiz WORD in a book so I cud read it, study it and find you out!
Granddaddy always said you wuz going to hell. I can still her him; 'You going to Hell! dawthur!' And you wud just laugh. Is that why you killed him? Or did you murder him fa' the fun of it? Did you do it to test your power? Did you do it because you love to make fools out of people?
You got a problem alright. You a Sadist! A sick sadistic malignant narcissistic murdering homosexual root working pedophile! Why didn't you kill yo'sef? You murdered all dem babies and bragged about it. "Yea! I flushed five of dem muthaf******!" You bragged ova' and ova' to make us feel special, to feel fortunate that you let us live. To make us think our secret torture wasn't so bad.
'You remember too much!' you scowled. Still mad, still angry, unrepentant and damn indignant. You might have fooled the simple calling yo'sef a preacher. Yea, I wuz simple too, believing your malarky. Yes, I played the fool in 1997 returning to your lair.
You need not laugh 'cause GAWD rescued me! Revealed Hiz Truth! 'Yea though I walk through the vallley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me.' LAWD I didn't know I was living in the valley of the shadow of death. I didn't know, couldn't comprehend the evil black cloud that hung over us. But praise the LAWD! One day GAWD showed up and showed out! He let you insult me and hurt my feelings one more time. That final insult triggered some memories, dug up some old skeletons that you thought you had buried deep enough.
You cussed me out about asking about my molestation. Little did you know that it wud lead to my dear brother. I know what happened to him. He told me!
Mathy, you stupid and you gon' rot in hell! You should rot in hell, you stanking 'ho! You had bedder sense. You got bedder sense now. You wud rather enjoy the terror you inflict. You wud rather yo' sons fear you than love you. You know that it is terrorizing fear and shame that keeps them silent.
What you gon' do 'bout dis Internet? You think ignoring it is gon' help you? Do you think your grandchurin' declaring their undying love when they come ova' to get a piece of money is going to help you? Do you think your so called church, Simon Temple, that won't say a word against you is gonna help you?
Don't you know it is in your countenance, it is in your eyes! Ray Charles can see the evil in you from the grave. Yea, I saw you sittin' at James Robert's funeral. I saw you sittin' in that wheel chair wid your blind man's glasses on. Sittin' dere hard, lookin' lak a bulldog.
Sisthu you reaping! Yo' desolation has come whether you know it or not. If you still too stupid to know that GAWD is dealing wid you, still holding out fa' you, you is a sho'nuff fool!
Any body want to go down wid you, to go down in yo' ship, go head!"
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
DEAD ON ARRIVAL
DOA, dead on arrival, a term used by hospitals and law enforcement agencies to describe the condition of a patient, victim or perpetrator when they arrive by ambulance for emergency treatment. I got that, I can understand that. But, can a person be born DOA?
Can a person come to this earth worthless, evil personified? Evil and demonic from birth? If you have a MALIGNANT NARCISSIST in your life, you have a serious life threatening problem. You are suffering some debilitating pain.
Please permit me to share with you some information concerning narcissists that you must be made aware of for your own safety and sanity:
#1 - They will NEVER change!
#2 - Narcissists have perfected the use of "forgive and forget" to enforce their will on their victims. "You must return for more abuse in order to prove you forgive. You are accused of being mean, unforgiving and un-Christlike." * (Taken from Tactics of Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mothers, gailmeyers.hubpages.com Please read to gain a better understanding.)
I was blown away when I read this article. It is a "Playbook" for my malignant narcissistic mother, chapter and verse. How could anyone know the exact life I have lived, the exact tactics this woman used against her entire family for 87 years? The NM (deliberately) confuses the fundamental difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. One can forgive but it takes two to reconcile. How can we ever reconcile when she will never admit the truth? MNM never forgive the slightest infraction, real, imagined or completely fabricated.
I was 58 years old and stunned by my mother's obvious anger and hatred when she rebuked me for being born June 4, 1951. "I was on my way to the beach! I was invited to a party! I couldn't go because I had gon ' into labor wid YOU!" She was genuinely angry, outraged. I was shocked, puzzled, mystified (again).
"MNM never forgive the slightest infraction." My mother never has. To this day she can remember every hateful remark, slight or offense. She tried to kill my uncle with a shotgun once for criticizing the way she dressed me. I was a 2 year old wearing a pair of raggedy dirty "draws", no shoes and I am sure my nose was snotty. He called her a whore and she hated him until the day he died in 2005. Refused to cry and attempted to be the center of attention at his funeral.
"It can take decades for the children of a malignant narcissist to even recognize what the real issue is, many never do." It took me 58 years!
#3 - The MNM have clever strategies:
1- Gaslighting
2- forgive and forget
3-triangulation
4- Scapegoats (SG) the child she manipulates the siblings into hating. (that's me)
5- Golden Child (GC) the child that she adores. She doesn't love this child, but pretends to because this child improved her image. My brother managed to become a medical doctor and immediately she began referring to him as her "Black Prince". From that point on he was worshiped by her, praised constantly. "You n***** ain't s***! *Sam became a Doctor!" She did everything she could to make us all feel inferior until he escaped her clutches for 25 years.
6- Flying Monkeys (taken from the Wizard of Oz) "Willfully ignorant or easily deceived friends and family that abuse by proxy." These are the people she manipulates to do her bidding. They are her gullible little imps , they do her bidding on demand and never question her. Their fear of her is so great they will do anything she demands. My MNM ordered two of my brothers to humiliate my brother (GC) by destroying his medical practice. The fool took a U-haul to my brother's office and emptied out every stick of furniture, file cabinets, refrigerator, etc. She busted in his office screaming and hollering; "I bought all dis muthaf**** shit! GET DUH F*** UP AND GET DUH F***OUT! Humiliated and disgraced my brother left town and remained estranged from us for 25 years. The MNM will use FM to do her dirty work. The MNM will lie and project her bad behavior on the victim, the Scapegoat (SG). I am the SG in my family. According to my MNM I am the cause of all the grief she's ever had to bear. My brothers and family refuse to have anything to do with me because MNM demands their loyalty.
I just have too much to share from her "Playbook" today. It is exhausting. I am going to have to break this down into smaller segments. The most frightening characteristic I learned in my research is that they rarely heal and their predatory nature continues on the deathbed. " If anything it worsens." They are evil personified!
Dear LORD I thank you for this knowledge. Bring wholeness and healing to my family, remove the scales form their eyes. Permit them to finally see, in the Mighty name of Jesus I pray.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Can a person come to this earth worthless, evil personified? Evil and demonic from birth? If you have a MALIGNANT NARCISSIST in your life, you have a serious life threatening problem. You are suffering some debilitating pain.
Please permit me to share with you some information concerning narcissists that you must be made aware of for your own safety and sanity:
#1 - They will NEVER change!
#2 - Narcissists have perfected the use of "forgive and forget" to enforce their will on their victims. "You must return for more abuse in order to prove you forgive. You are accused of being mean, unforgiving and un-Christlike." * (Taken from Tactics of Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mothers, gailmeyers.hubpages.com Please read to gain a better understanding.)
I was blown away when I read this article. It is a "Playbook" for my malignant narcissistic mother, chapter and verse. How could anyone know the exact life I have lived, the exact tactics this woman used against her entire family for 87 years? The NM (deliberately) confuses the fundamental difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. One can forgive but it takes two to reconcile. How can we ever reconcile when she will never admit the truth? MNM never forgive the slightest infraction, real, imagined or completely fabricated.
I was 58 years old and stunned by my mother's obvious anger and hatred when she rebuked me for being born June 4, 1951. "I was on my way to the beach! I was invited to a party! I couldn't go because I had gon ' into labor wid YOU!" She was genuinely angry, outraged. I was shocked, puzzled, mystified (again).
"MNM never forgive the slightest infraction." My mother never has. To this day she can remember every hateful remark, slight or offense. She tried to kill my uncle with a shotgun once for criticizing the way she dressed me. I was a 2 year old wearing a pair of raggedy dirty "draws", no shoes and I am sure my nose was snotty. He called her a whore and she hated him until the day he died in 2005. Refused to cry and attempted to be the center of attention at his funeral.
"It can take decades for the children of a malignant narcissist to even recognize what the real issue is, many never do." It took me 58 years!
#3 - The MNM have clever strategies:
1- Gaslighting
2- forgive and forget
3-triangulation
4- Scapegoats (SG) the child she manipulates the siblings into hating. (that's me)
5- Golden Child (GC) the child that she adores. She doesn't love this child, but pretends to because this child improved her image. My brother managed to become a medical doctor and immediately she began referring to him as her "Black Prince". From that point on he was worshiped by her, praised constantly. "You n***** ain't s***! *Sam became a Doctor!" She did everything she could to make us all feel inferior until he escaped her clutches for 25 years.
6- Flying Monkeys (taken from the Wizard of Oz) "Willfully ignorant or easily deceived friends and family that abuse by proxy." These are the people she manipulates to do her bidding. They are her gullible little imps , they do her bidding on demand and never question her. Their fear of her is so great they will do anything she demands. My MNM ordered two of my brothers to humiliate my brother (GC) by destroying his medical practice. The fool took a U-haul to my brother's office and emptied out every stick of furniture, file cabinets, refrigerator, etc. She busted in his office screaming and hollering; "I bought all dis muthaf**** shit! GET DUH F*** UP AND GET DUH F***OUT! Humiliated and disgraced my brother left town and remained estranged from us for 25 years. The MNM will use FM to do her dirty work. The MNM will lie and project her bad behavior on the victim, the Scapegoat (SG). I am the SG in my family. According to my MNM I am the cause of all the grief she's ever had to bear. My brothers and family refuse to have anything to do with me because MNM demands their loyalty.
I just have too much to share from her "Playbook" today. It is exhausting. I am going to have to break this down into smaller segments. The most frightening characteristic I learned in my research is that they rarely heal and their predatory nature continues on the deathbed. " If anything it worsens." They are evil personified!
Dear LORD I thank you for this knowledge. Bring wholeness and healing to my family, remove the scales form their eyes. Permit them to finally see, in the Mighty name of Jesus I pray.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Sunday, May 5, 2013
"Sick and tired of being sick and tired!"
The late great Fannie Lou Hammer said that. It resonates with me. I am sick and tired of hurting , of being misunderstood, of being hated. I am sick and tired of being the object of some one's envy and jealousy. I am sick of ignorant racists (black and white) that hate me for the color of my skin, the texture of my hair, my cultural heritage.
We have no excuse as a world, as a society. Far too many people on this earth are too evil, too depraved, too low. And just as many are apathetic and uncaring. I am sure GOD looks down on our dying decaying world and cries.
I heard a very good sermon today; "Sick of the Palsy" (Mark 2:1-12) The man was so sick of having the Palsy he had his friends to tear a hole in some one's roof so that he could get to Jesus. The young minister that preached this sermon said something that ignited my soul. "Sometimes we have to tear something up!" We have to break down some barriers to get to Christ.
Quit playing games, it is latter than you think. You know wearing religious trinkets and putting on clerical garb doesn't save you. You know carrying a Bible and quoting scripture or putting on an outside show is a total waste of your time and GOD's.
Jesus told the man sick of the Palsy; "Thy sins be forgiven thee." He was forgiven, We are forgiven! You don't have to lie, to pretend, to rob, to snare, to plot, to plunder. You don't have to keep up a front. You don't have to fear.
"Where the spirit of the LORD is, there is liberty." GOD gave us freedom from sin. HE gave us dominion over sin. So why are you still living in sin? Still lying, still plotting, still harboring black evil hatred in your heart?
You have the power. I have the Power! GOD gave us the power, HE gave us dominion over evil. I will not be defeated. I will not shrink! I will not be intimidated by your hatred, lies and insulting remarks. Every time I see evil, see the devil, I am am going to demand that demon to bow down.
Martha, you have a demon! You know it. I know it. Every one in my family should know it. Perhaps some of them don't know they should not fear you. You have no power outside of your ugly lying mouth spewing filth, lies and curses. I decided a few years ago to quit taking your crap, to quit pretending that you are something that you're not.
I am not going to lie for you. You will not make me "skin and grin", turn somersaults, turn a blind eye to your sick deeds. Most of all you will not MURDER JEROME WALTERS AND GET AWAY WITH IT!
Martha! You are 87 years old! Quit playing. You know very well how to rid yourself of that demon that plagues you. Ask GOD. Pray for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. If you don't do it, if you don't do it now I will know that you fully deserve to spend your eternity in hell.
I know you know better because you preach too good. Continue to mock me if you want to. "This very night your soul may be required of thee."
Family, I know you too. Waiting on the old "haint" to die so you can be the first to say; "Yea, I know she did it. I kinda thought she did it, but I wuz too scared to say anything." You better know, GOD is going to hold you accountable also.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
We have no excuse as a world, as a society. Far too many people on this earth are too evil, too depraved, too low. And just as many are apathetic and uncaring. I am sure GOD looks down on our dying decaying world and cries.
I heard a very good sermon today; "Sick of the Palsy" (Mark 2:1-12) The man was so sick of having the Palsy he had his friends to tear a hole in some one's roof so that he could get to Jesus. The young minister that preached this sermon said something that ignited my soul. "Sometimes we have to tear something up!" We have to break down some barriers to get to Christ.
Quit playing games, it is latter than you think. You know wearing religious trinkets and putting on clerical garb doesn't save you. You know carrying a Bible and quoting scripture or putting on an outside show is a total waste of your time and GOD's.
Jesus told the man sick of the Palsy; "Thy sins be forgiven thee." He was forgiven, We are forgiven! You don't have to lie, to pretend, to rob, to snare, to plot, to plunder. You don't have to keep up a front. You don't have to fear.
"Where the spirit of the LORD is, there is liberty." GOD gave us freedom from sin. HE gave us dominion over sin. So why are you still living in sin? Still lying, still plotting, still harboring black evil hatred in your heart?
You have the power. I have the Power! GOD gave us the power, HE gave us dominion over evil. I will not be defeated. I will not shrink! I will not be intimidated by your hatred, lies and insulting remarks. Every time I see evil, see the devil, I am am going to demand that demon to bow down.
Martha, you have a demon! You know it. I know it. Every one in my family should know it. Perhaps some of them don't know they should not fear you. You have no power outside of your ugly lying mouth spewing filth, lies and curses. I decided a few years ago to quit taking your crap, to quit pretending that you are something that you're not.
I am not going to lie for you. You will not make me "skin and grin", turn somersaults, turn a blind eye to your sick deeds. Most of all you will not MURDER JEROME WALTERS AND GET AWAY WITH IT!
Martha! You are 87 years old! Quit playing. You know very well how to rid yourself of that demon that plagues you. Ask GOD. Pray for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. If you don't do it, if you don't do it now I will know that you fully deserve to spend your eternity in hell.
I know you know better because you preach too good. Continue to mock me if you want to. "This very night your soul may be required of thee."
Family, I know you too. Waiting on the old "haint" to die so you can be the first to say; "Yea, I know she did it. I kinda thought she did it, but I wuz too scared to say anything." You better know, GOD is going to hold you accountable also.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Jesus loves You!
Know that! Repeat that. "Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so." I learned that in Sunday school as a five year old child. If I don't know anything, I know Jesus loves me, always did and always will. I am so glad my mother made me go to church every Sunday.
I just saw her on Facebook looking tormented. She was sitting at the graveside of my cousin's husband. It broke my heart to see her gnarled, broken, haggard and dejected. Jesus loves you Martha!
You can have peace, you can have love. You can walk right into heaven. Say "I'm sorry". Say you were foolish and without understanding.
Jesus Loves you! GOD doesn't care what you did or how long you did it. Harden not your heart. Get on your knees! Repent of your sins! Do it now.
Dear LORD in Heaven! Touch Martha's heart with a finger of love. Tell her it is alright. Tell her she is forgiven. Tell those around her to tell her. Have mercy on us LORD! Forgive us of our many sins. Forgive us for leaning to our own understanding.
Family, if you really love Martha like you claim, please pray and fast for her. Pray and fast for yourself, for this cold cruel world we live in.
"And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand. He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy let him be holy still." Revelation 22:10-11
"The time is at hand".
I just saw her on Facebook looking tormented. She was sitting at the graveside of my cousin's husband. It broke my heart to see her gnarled, broken, haggard and dejected. Jesus loves you Martha!
You can have peace, you can have love. You can walk right into heaven. Say "I'm sorry". Say you were foolish and without understanding.
Jesus Loves you! GOD doesn't care what you did or how long you did it. Harden not your heart. Get on your knees! Repent of your sins! Do it now.
Dear LORD in Heaven! Touch Martha's heart with a finger of love. Tell her it is alright. Tell her she is forgiven. Tell those around her to tell her. Have mercy on us LORD! Forgive us of our many sins. Forgive us for leaning to our own understanding.
Family, if you really love Martha like you claim, please pray and fast for her. Pray and fast for yourself, for this cold cruel world we live in.
"And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand. He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy let him be holy still." Revelation 22:10-11
"The time is at hand".
"For this cause..."
For this cause! Praise the LORD! "For this cause" I will continue to endure your rebuke and ignorance. For this cause I will let you talk about me, lie on me, and laugh at me. For this cause I will endure shunning, loneliness, ridicule, mockery and your phoniness.
I will always stand up for right. I will not give up the right for the wrong. For this cause I will not tolerate, associate with, or silently condone evil.
Jesus told us;"Know ye the Truth and the Truth will set you Free!" Praise the LORD! When I gave up fear and finally confronted that demon GOD set me free! She cursed me out! Called me filthy names, disinherited me, cultivated the deep hatred she instilled in my family against me.
I will not live with you cowards in denial talking about "Mathy" behind her back. You can continue to wait in line to kiss her a** if you want to. You can accept her lying, cheap gifts and petty chump change in exchange for your manhood or womanhood if you want to. You don't have to care about me, my grandfather or the countless others she has severely maimed. Continue to live your miserable life tethered to a demon because she sounds good, looks good, claims to love you.
Don't look at her "fruit" because she forbade you. Don't listen to the voice of the LORD. Remain ignorant and abused, high, or intoxicated. Shut the world out. Continue to cloak for her because you are too ashamed to let the world know what that woman did to you.
My truth; I always felt her deep hatred and was often the recipient of her sadist cruelty. This beautiful demon was brilliant enough to wear a mask, to keep us all in the dark. To say the sweetest words, love on you, hug and kiss you and build you up.
Her actions rarely matched her rhetoric. That was the "mystery". Being "loved", lauded in public and stabbed in the back, led astray and brutalized in private. I finally caught on Mathy Jane. The world will know of your low character, of your sickness.
Someone will learn from my story how deceitful the devil is. You will learn if you give him and inch he will take a million miles and you will suffer pure devastation , shame and rebuke. You will learn that he is going to let you down. That same demon evil spirit that saved you from your just due over and over will one day finally throw you to the dogs.
The greatest lesson my life can teach you is that Book is real. It is prophesy. If you know like I know you will study it night and day. You will not lean to your own understanding. You will seek the face of GOD.
"For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;" Colossians 1:9
There is no shortcut to heaven. There is only one way. You can't put on a mask and fool GOD. You can't "talk the talk and not walk the walk". That's your sermon Martha. You preached it and you preached it well. GOD doesn't want your double dealing and your two-facedness. GOD doesn't want you up in a pulpit putting on a show while living a lascivious life.
You hurt the body of Christ. I have two brothers that will not go anywhere near a church because of you. I left the church for many years because of you. Don't you dare think GOD does not have His eye on you. Don't you believe for one minute that because you made it to age 87 unencumbered in your filth that you got away.
Dear LORD in Heaven I pray for my family. Deliver us from evil LORD. Deliver us from this curse, this plague. Give us courage LORD. Open our eyes, remove the veils. "He that hath ears, let him hear."
There are a lot of evil people on this earth creeping around hurting others for their sadistic pleasure. Skinning and grinning, crowed in our churches, leading the simple astray. "Your days are numbered". Jesus is coming back! "And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be." Revelation 22:12
"I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and offspring of David, and the bright and morning star." Revelation 22: 16
"He which testifieth, these things saith, SURELY I COME QUICKLY. Amen. Even so, come LORD Jesus." Revelation 22:20
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
I will always stand up for right. I will not give up the right for the wrong. For this cause I will not tolerate, associate with, or silently condone evil.
Jesus told us;"Know ye the Truth and the Truth will set you Free!" Praise the LORD! When I gave up fear and finally confronted that demon GOD set me free! She cursed me out! Called me filthy names, disinherited me, cultivated the deep hatred she instilled in my family against me.
I will not live with you cowards in denial talking about "Mathy" behind her back. You can continue to wait in line to kiss her a** if you want to. You can accept her lying, cheap gifts and petty chump change in exchange for your manhood or womanhood if you want to. You don't have to care about me, my grandfather or the countless others she has severely maimed. Continue to live your miserable life tethered to a demon because she sounds good, looks good, claims to love you.
Don't look at her "fruit" because she forbade you. Don't listen to the voice of the LORD. Remain ignorant and abused, high, or intoxicated. Shut the world out. Continue to cloak for her because you are too ashamed to let the world know what that woman did to you.
My truth; I always felt her deep hatred and was often the recipient of her sadist cruelty. This beautiful demon was brilliant enough to wear a mask, to keep us all in the dark. To say the sweetest words, love on you, hug and kiss you and build you up.
Her actions rarely matched her rhetoric. That was the "mystery". Being "loved", lauded in public and stabbed in the back, led astray and brutalized in private. I finally caught on Mathy Jane. The world will know of your low character, of your sickness.
Someone will learn from my story how deceitful the devil is. You will learn if you give him and inch he will take a million miles and you will suffer pure devastation , shame and rebuke. You will learn that he is going to let you down. That same demon evil spirit that saved you from your just due over and over will one day finally throw you to the dogs.
The greatest lesson my life can teach you is that Book is real. It is prophesy. If you know like I know you will study it night and day. You will not lean to your own understanding. You will seek the face of GOD.
"For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;" Colossians 1:9
There is no shortcut to heaven. There is only one way. You can't put on a mask and fool GOD. You can't "talk the talk and not walk the walk". That's your sermon Martha. You preached it and you preached it well. GOD doesn't want your double dealing and your two-facedness. GOD doesn't want you up in a pulpit putting on a show while living a lascivious life.
You hurt the body of Christ. I have two brothers that will not go anywhere near a church because of you. I left the church for many years because of you. Don't you dare think GOD does not have His eye on you. Don't you believe for one minute that because you made it to age 87 unencumbered in your filth that you got away.
Dear LORD in Heaven I pray for my family. Deliver us from evil LORD. Deliver us from this curse, this plague. Give us courage LORD. Open our eyes, remove the veils. "He that hath ears, let him hear."
There are a lot of evil people on this earth creeping around hurting others for their sadistic pleasure. Skinning and grinning, crowed in our churches, leading the simple astray. "Your days are numbered". Jesus is coming back! "And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be." Revelation 22:12
"I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and offspring of David, and the bright and morning star." Revelation 22: 16
"He which testifieth, these things saith, SURELY I COME QUICKLY. Amen. Even so, come LORD Jesus." Revelation 22:20
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Friday, May 3, 2013
"I am going to stay on the battlefield"
That is a line from a Gospel song. I'm singing. I'm out of tune and I don't know all the words but I'm singing it and meaning it.
I just ran across this article "Why Boys Do Not Tell About Sexual Abuse" by Karyl McBride, Ph.D. This article certainly helps me to understand my situation; plagued and degraded by a narcissistic sexually perverted monster of a mother.
I am the only girl. I have five brothers. My mother is 87 years old and has gotten away with the sickest, vilest, most demonic deeds for her entire life! She emasculated and destroyed my five brothers and they will not say a mumbling word against her. Why? My brothers don't know a mother's love. They really can't know or understand what a real mother will or will not do. Sons, certainly would be the last to tell on their mother, no matter how messed up she is.
#1 "Cover-ups, denial, and internalizing feelings seem to dominate rather than vulnerable exposure of abusive acts perpetrated on male victims." In other words it is just too shameful for a man to tell. He would just rather keep the secret, pretend it didn't happen. Mask the pain with drugs and alcohol. Wait for the b**** to die.
#2 "In our culture, boys are socialized not to be victims. 'If I am a victim, can I then also be a man?' Big boys fight back and are not supposed to be victims or it somehow obliterates their identity of 'manhood'"
#3 "Guys are expected still, to tough things out and not ask for help." In other words men don't want to talk about it.
I am fully aware that NO ONE wants to know my truth. I don't want to know it. But, I sincerely believe that GOD wants you to know it. YOU WILL KNOW!
The fact is my mother has been able to get away with her treachery because it is certainly too embarrassing a secret to tell. I started writing this blog when I asked her about my sexual molestation. At the time the torturous life she forced my brother to live had never occurred to me. He was estranged from us for 25 years! She blamed drugs, told us this long elaborate tale of how he was addicted to cocaine. That stanking s*** knew all the time. She was hoping he would never come back. She was right to fear his return. He returned with a huge piece of the mystifying puzzle.
MARTHA JANE WALTERS HODGES DOSTER WATSON LAMOUREAUX you are the most selfish lustful carnal whore that ever lived! He won't tell on you, but I WILL!
You can take that clerical frock off! Quit spouting scripture! Repent of your many sins or find a rock. And you had the nerve to tell me; "You ain't SHIT!"
"I am out here on the battlefield" and I am going to keep fighting, keep telling, until somebody listens. GOD is righting every wrong and MARTHA JANE WALTERS HODGES DOSTER WATSON LAMOUREAUX GOD is hot on your trail. Simon Temple can't help you. Your sons can't help you. You horde of friends and supporters can't protect you from the wrath of Almighty GOD.
"When your desolation comes it will come as a whirlwind!"
Time is winding up and you still haven't repented or said you are sorry. Let me remind you GOD is large and in charge of this world. "You will get your just and honest due on this planet earth." I would say that you are over due. GOD says "in due time".
Praise the LORD!
I just ran across this article "Why Boys Do Not Tell About Sexual Abuse" by Karyl McBride, Ph.D. This article certainly helps me to understand my situation; plagued and degraded by a narcissistic sexually perverted monster of a mother.
I am the only girl. I have five brothers. My mother is 87 years old and has gotten away with the sickest, vilest, most demonic deeds for her entire life! She emasculated and destroyed my five brothers and they will not say a mumbling word against her. Why? My brothers don't know a mother's love. They really can't know or understand what a real mother will or will not do. Sons, certainly would be the last to tell on their mother, no matter how messed up she is.
#1 "Cover-ups, denial, and internalizing feelings seem to dominate rather than vulnerable exposure of abusive acts perpetrated on male victims." In other words it is just too shameful for a man to tell. He would just rather keep the secret, pretend it didn't happen. Mask the pain with drugs and alcohol. Wait for the b**** to die.
#2 "In our culture, boys are socialized not to be victims. 'If I am a victim, can I then also be a man?' Big boys fight back and are not supposed to be victims or it somehow obliterates their identity of 'manhood'"
#3 "Guys are expected still, to tough things out and not ask for help." In other words men don't want to talk about it.
I am fully aware that NO ONE wants to know my truth. I don't want to know it. But, I sincerely believe that GOD wants you to know it. YOU WILL KNOW!
The fact is my mother has been able to get away with her treachery because it is certainly too embarrassing a secret to tell. I started writing this blog when I asked her about my sexual molestation. At the time the torturous life she forced my brother to live had never occurred to me. He was estranged from us for 25 years! She blamed drugs, told us this long elaborate tale of how he was addicted to cocaine. That stanking s*** knew all the time. She was hoping he would never come back. She was right to fear his return. He returned with a huge piece of the mystifying puzzle.
MARTHA JANE WALTERS HODGES DOSTER WATSON LAMOUREAUX you are the most selfish lustful carnal whore that ever lived! He won't tell on you, but I WILL!
You can take that clerical frock off! Quit spouting scripture! Repent of your many sins or find a rock. And you had the nerve to tell me; "You ain't SHIT!"
"I am out here on the battlefield" and I am going to keep fighting, keep telling, until somebody listens. GOD is righting every wrong and MARTHA JANE WALTERS HODGES DOSTER WATSON LAMOUREAUX GOD is hot on your trail. Simon Temple can't help you. Your sons can't help you. You horde of friends and supporters can't protect you from the wrath of Almighty GOD.
"When your desolation comes it will come as a whirlwind!"
Time is winding up and you still haven't repented or said you are sorry. Let me remind you GOD is large and in charge of this world. "You will get your just and honest due on this planet earth." I would say that you are over due. GOD says "in due time".
Praise the LORD!
Is this a dream?
Is this a dream? Am I living a very long nightmare? I am 61 tethered to the most despicable woman that every lived and I don't hear a peep from not one relative other than my daughter.
Is it that you don't care?
Cousin I offered all the evidence you needed to prove that she murdered our grandfather. You have said nothing. You told me that she told you that she sent me that letter smeared in her fecal matter. How did she justify that with you? What did she claim that I did to justify such and act?
Brothers, I witnessed how she savagely beat two of you daily. You two love her more than all of us combined. She totally destroyed your lives yet you both cling to her.
I just assume that she is too heinous to know. Just ignore her, just pretend that your life is lovely, "normal".
What did she do to you? How can you be so blind? Ignoring me, "dissing" me still won't get that stanking slut into heaven. I was never her only target. You claim that you forgive her, that you refuse to live in the past. When did she change? You know her!
"She don't owe you no apology!" you scream (brother #2). What about your apology? What about all the horrible things she did to you? She is not sorry, nor is she ashamed. The fool thinks she got away, too blind to see that she is being punished. Too dumb to know that she is an abomination to GOD.
I love and pray for all of you daily and I will continue to do so. I refuse to be involved in your farce, in your pretend family where everything is so wonderful. Age doesn't make that slut a saint. Her fake preaching doesn't make her forgiven and her "roots" don't work on me.
Brother #2, you told me that you hope I find peace. I hope you find your mind, your manhood. I hope and pray you come to your senses. I pray that GOD will deliver your from evil.
In my heart of hearts I do wish that she would finally confess. I wish she could sincerely apologize to me. For many years I longed to hear her say that she is sorry. It doesn't matter now. If she finally called and expressed her love and regret I would not believe her.
You "stayed" out there too long Martha. Your "whored", lied, practiced witchcraft, destroyed and defiled too long. You are right. What is the point? You can't love. You can only offer something fake and artificial. You are an abomination to GOD and all His glory. I can't tolerate the thought of you.
You don't have to worry about me pissing on your grave. That was the last thing you told me not to do. Just who is that common? Why did that cross your mind? One thing for sure we are not going to live forever. One by one GOD will call us home. One day you will have to give an account for the life you lived.
Family one day you will have to give an account to GOD for not standing up for your grandfather, for tolerating and loving a demon, for not caring about me. For witnessing all the sick things she did to me and never coming to my aid or defense.
You will give an account to GOD for NOT standing against evil.
"Seek the LORD while He may be found."
Is it that you don't care?
Cousin I offered all the evidence you needed to prove that she murdered our grandfather. You have said nothing. You told me that she told you that she sent me that letter smeared in her fecal matter. How did she justify that with you? What did she claim that I did to justify such and act?
Brothers, I witnessed how she savagely beat two of you daily. You two love her more than all of us combined. She totally destroyed your lives yet you both cling to her.
I just assume that she is too heinous to know. Just ignore her, just pretend that your life is lovely, "normal".
What did she do to you? How can you be so blind? Ignoring me, "dissing" me still won't get that stanking slut into heaven. I was never her only target. You claim that you forgive her, that you refuse to live in the past. When did she change? You know her!
"She don't owe you no apology!" you scream (brother #2). What about your apology? What about all the horrible things she did to you? She is not sorry, nor is she ashamed. The fool thinks she got away, too blind to see that she is being punished. Too dumb to know that she is an abomination to GOD.
I love and pray for all of you daily and I will continue to do so. I refuse to be involved in your farce, in your pretend family where everything is so wonderful. Age doesn't make that slut a saint. Her fake preaching doesn't make her forgiven and her "roots" don't work on me.
Brother #2, you told me that you hope I find peace. I hope you find your mind, your manhood. I hope and pray you come to your senses. I pray that GOD will deliver your from evil.
In my heart of hearts I do wish that she would finally confess. I wish she could sincerely apologize to me. For many years I longed to hear her say that she is sorry. It doesn't matter now. If she finally called and expressed her love and regret I would not believe her.
You "stayed" out there too long Martha. Your "whored", lied, practiced witchcraft, destroyed and defiled too long. You are right. What is the point? You can't love. You can only offer something fake and artificial. You are an abomination to GOD and all His glory. I can't tolerate the thought of you.
You don't have to worry about me pissing on your grave. That was the last thing you told me not to do. Just who is that common? Why did that cross your mind? One thing for sure we are not going to live forever. One by one GOD will call us home. One day you will have to give an account for the life you lived.
Family one day you will have to give an account to GOD for not standing up for your grandfather, for tolerating and loving a demon, for not caring about me. For witnessing all the sick things she did to me and never coming to my aid or defense.
You will give an account to GOD for NOT standing against evil.
"Seek the LORD while He may be found."
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