Far too many people ...

demand to be obeyed, feared,  simply because they are in charge.  Far too many people secretly enact cruel acts against their loved ones, "subordinates" ,  out of jealousy and resentment.  Don't worry.  GOD will keep blinders on us until we are able to handle our truth.

I must have been nineteen,  I did have a fine shape.  It is a fact.  I did have washboard abs and perky breasts. I did have luscious hair.  I was in college.  I was a virgin as far as I knew. I had graduated from high school with honors.  I was a National Merit Scholarship semi-finalist. (I could have been a finalist if I had attempted the math.)

I drove my mother's Cadillac to the "Club", took my high school friend Audrey.   Chit chatting with my mother about the "club",  who was there, how Audrey was doing , I noticed the pants to my beautiful suit were missing, snatched.  It was like a disease with Martha, she would snatch your shit and destroy it.  Don't accuse her.  Martha harbored a demon that you had to wait to die.

For some reason I am laughing, finally solving this never ending mystery.  My mother was the one shoe bandit.  Brag about how much you paid for your shoes, or have a pair of shoes she loved, envied, you would be reduced to one shoe.

What kind of mind is that? "If I can't have it, you damn sure can't have it! You ain't shit! You ruined my life! You are too lucky! Too blessed!  I will fix you, I will ruin you on the sly.  I will preach and no one will know the real me unless some slut like you tells?"

Little did I know , it never occurred to me that my own mother was that jealous of me.  Martha's smile was always pearly white.  Her voice a siren, hypnotizing , intoxicating.  Sadly Martha did believe in her ability to conjure.  She did lean to her own understanding.  She cursed me, wanted me to have nothing. Made sure a big black dick  was slapped in my face by age four! The first year granddaddy trusted her to keep us, to play "mother".

This world doesn't have to tell you, you don't have to have first hand experience with a demon to know they are real, to know they have infiltrated the "church".  You can see!  You can think!

OK,  your pastor has convinced you that tithing is a commandment.  You don't question.  You have itching ears.  S/He tells you it is a sin to curse, to say bad or vulgar words.  The "church" tells you it is a sin to drink.  You sit in church reading about Jesus turning water into wine .  But, you must prove you are a sanctimonious "Christian".  You don't drink! Not only do you refuse to imbibe, you don't want one else to.  You judge.  You sneak off to do your dirt.

The one that does his dirt in the open is deemed too immoral for you.  You slip, you slid.  You cheat on your spouse, you are a closet whore, a closet hater.  Worse, you are a confused closet homosexual.  You are confused about your feelings.  You are terrified.  Your ass is old and you still haven't learned, have failed to catch on.  You live in denial mad that you are now suffering all alone. You claim you are happy.  Well, I'm not!  Nasty common slut!

You still haven't read your Bible for yourself.  You are still gullible, still proud of your "whiteness".  Your Bible tells you to not envy the ways of the oppressor.   You do.  You are full of fear.  Why? You are going to die one day any way.  We all are.  And every day that we live we are all closer to that day of transition.

We don't know where we are  going  or what happens .  It doesn't matter. What matters is what you do now.  Are you living a life that you are proud of?  Or are you attempting to hide your black heart, your deep evil? Are you a "Christian" that changed churches because the "church" was becoming too black?

Do you hate radical Muslims? How can a "Christian" hate?  Do you hate people of color?  Do you think white or like skin is superior? Will you throw a brick and hide your hand?

I can not blame GOD, my grandfather, anyone for the deep evil Martha inflicted on me for all these years. She was always extremely racist, purely hated all people of color, including her stupid ass, whorish ass self.

 I read my Bible, I prayed, I communicated with GOD. (HE) told me to endure to the end, I did.

To GOD be the Glory!

The condition my condition is in

Had a brother that shunned me for twenty-five years.  I did not blame him.  I understood his refusal to risk contact with her.  She was dangerous, intractable, MURDEROUS, and so lying, so phony, so full of jealousy and ignorance you just became numb, searched for a joint, a strong strong drink.  Why complain?  No one was going to risk their good standing with the slut to save your black ass.

GOD warns us about these women.  We don't listen.  We all have opinions, we all spread ignorance.  Far too many people that have never read the Bible thoroughly freely spew their hatred on me for what I did to my mother.  My fellow victims freely and openly hate me for snitching on their demonic , totally out of control mother!

What the fuck!? Why?  Is it your fear, your ignorance, unbelief, shock, numbness, mask, phoniness , apathy?  I have been researching child molestation and it is estimated that fully twenty-five of us are sexually molested by someone before age five.

The saddest part of this statistic is that it was presented in such a manner as to not incite outrage.  Outrage is good.  Rosa Parks was outraged.  Some gay men some where got outraged, started parading, started a movement.

I dream of such a movement.  I want every person sexually molested as a child to stand up and shame your perpetrator.  The saddest truth about my sad and pathetic mother, she was attempting to shame me because she could not forgive me for shaming her.  I was born without a father.  My "daddy" refused to marry her. She always claimed ; "It's 'cause I had all you luddle black bastards!" 

No Martha, it was because you were a promiscuous whore, you lacked discretion, you committed INCEST as a child.  Nothing was ever your fault.  You sexually molested your little brother, your mother beat you and you like the low slut you were hated your brother.

Far too many people totally misunderstand Jesus based on their dull understanding.  Even my granddaddy and he was a genius.  He kept forgiving that damn Mathy Jane, kept praying for her knowing full well that viperous  demon deserved a bullet.  Sadly he is the one that ended up with a bullet.

Thank You for keeping her confused LORD, delusional.  She surely wanted to kill me.  You did not let her.

Praise the LORD!

"You got to get behind a mule."

He walked behind a mule from "Sun up to Sun down".  I remember running , jumping on the drag.  Granddaddy was "cropping" his Tobacco.  I was only three but I can still remember that smell, what an aroma, green tobacco.  It should be a cologne.

Tobacco farming was work intensive.  Once you cropped it, it had to be graded, divided, bundled,  tied to sticks, then hung high in the rafters of a tobacco barn where the green herb would be slowly cured.

What a process.  Once the tobacco was cured he loaded the beautiful golden velvet soft leaves onto his wagon and transported them  to the Tobacco Market to be sold.  My grandmother  could not accompany my grandfather to the Tobacco auction, she was deemed too dark.

 I do know my grandfather was a proud black man but on the days he went to sell his tobacco, he posed as an Indian, a Crow-a-tan, a Lumbee, anything but a damn nigger.

For some reason the auctioneers always gave black farmers the lowest possible price for their tobacco.  Whites got the best prices, then Indians. My grandfather was an Indian or mostly Indian, he passed.

Granddaddy did a lot of thinking truding  behind that mule.  I know he thought about me, about his family.  I know there  was not one single day that I knew my grandfather that  he did not say the exact same thing; "Don't sell the land! Don't nevah sell the land!" 

My mother could not wait to sell the land , to have the house burned to the ground.  Why? She could not face her guilt.  Never could.  Shot him in the heart!  Laughed, got clean away.  Mocked him by "preaching" like him, by stealing his "sermons".

Before my mother would admit that she got pregnant by her lover while married to a pervert that she purely hated she deliberately brutalized and destroyed that love child.  He will never be right.  The horrible ideas she deliberately planted in his head was Martha's brand of revenge.  She tried to abort him.   He was born alive, two pounds, two ounces in 1957! He lived! Martha hated him! Hated him with a passion, never let on.

My mother was truly a sick demented sadist!  Vile! Foul!  Repugnant! I promise to get up and celebrate her death every day that I live.

Praise the LORD!

You may as well face it!

I don't know why so many people in my family are holding out on me.  She is dead now, finally dead.  Her truth is obvious.  If there was ever any such thing as  a diabolically evil confused closet "bulldagger" , Martha Jane Walters was one.  Unfortunately incredibly evil.  So evil I will spare you many gruesome details.

Well, I've told!  Just came right out.  Jesus told me to know my truth, my truth, my mother, my own mother was a pervert, a pedophile, something loathsome.  And because she was so low and loathsome she tried to do it to me.  My own mother tried to force me into becoming more promiscuous than she was.  But, it backfired!  So sexually abused as an infant and small child I became a eunuch, celibate, totally asexual.

The truth is a woman has to be pretty common, pretty low on the human rung of civilization to be as common and selfish as Martha.  I do have to laugh because she was so delusional, so wicked, so depraved,  she never knew she was wrong.  If anyone was wrong it was you  for boring the shit out of her with your whining or bleeding on her!

My mother always confessed to me that she was cold and heartless because this world was cold and heartless.  Don't worry, she was lying,  it was just more of her bullshit.  I am not in the least bit fooled or influenced by the likes of DT because I knew my mother long before DT.

AmeriKKKans  can elect him if they want to.  We will all suffer.  We will suffer the same way that low demonic slut Martha Jane Walters made us, the descendants of Artemus and Mary Wright Walters  suffer.  She had the damn nerve to identify it as a generational curse, which it was.  But to embrace it, to hold it holy, to go down on graves perpetuating that stupidity and gruesome evil is an abomination to GOD and (HE) is not going to have it!

"Come ye out from among them!"  We do not have to do that any more.  My mother witnessed me win a house, a brick house and the loathsome demonic whore "rooted" me out of it!  Now she could have been influenced by the goodness of GOD, she could have acknowledged (HIS) Grace.  No, this simple imp tried to "root" GOD! Tried her level best to defeat GOD for EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS!

GOD said NO!

So ? dumb bitch!  "No weapon formed against me shall prosper!"

Naw, no can do.  I would rather live in a hole in the ground, in a hollow log.  I would rather eat shit with a knitting needle.  Just starve me!  Shit! The bitch did ! Fucking grits and grease for months!

Y'all ain't got to tell nothing because I done told it!

A preacher! A pastor! Nigger please!

This bitch gone

tell me to shut the fuck up! Me now! I'm THREE (years old)! Bitch you were not that fucking stupid! You were that fucking evil and corrupt.  Bitch!  Why didn't you ever just off your fucking self?  You used to threaten  to kill yourself  all the time but we all knew you were bullshitting.

Oh, by the way,  thanks for only "out and out murdering"  just one of us.  That was nice of you, very thoughtful I would say.

Martha, you were NASTY! Bitch you were a pig! Shitting with the door open, talking, carrying on a conversation.  Martha, I think you messed around and got ahold of a masculine demonic spirit.  It had it's benefits.  I act just like you,  minus the evil "root working".  I do not take shit off of anyone and I do speak my mind!  Why not!? I'm sixty-five!  If you are ever going to say what is on your mind , what better time than when you are elderly?

My so called father is eighty-nine and is always cautioning people on what Not to say!  That is some nigger slave mentality!  GOD never said we had to be polite to a demon.  My "mother" knows damn well she was a demon! Just because she covered her tracks well does not negate her evil.

GOD got her!  Nasty, stanking SLUT!  That was her choice.  The lazy whore would rather sell pussy and voodoo than attempt to be a decent woman for real.  No, there is no excuse for anyone looking the other way where Martha is concerned.  People that pretend they do not know such evil exists, exists in the body of the church,  in one out of five homes, are part of the problem.

Of course my mother was never going to admit to being a pervert and back then we were children, helpless.  I remember being smart enough to go to the library every day after school to avoid that pervert.  My brother did too.  He concentrated on math and science, I focused on Liberal Arts.  

See how good GOD is!

She is dead now!  You can shout now, celebrate now! "Come ye out from among them now."

Praise the LORD!

I am a proud member of DONM!

DONM- Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.  I should be a member of DOMNM- Daughters of Malignant Narcissistic Mothers.   As far as I know, no such organization exists.  There is a great need.  A vast, significant  number of people are purely EVIL!   They have very little good in them and the good they do  have they use to exploit and cause indescribable grief to people they profess to love , people they actually hate with a purple passion.

I certainly understand why so many people can not hear me, why they can not bear to know the truth, my truth.  I survived my truth with my awful demonic mother for SIXTY-TWO YEARS CLUELESS!  Yes, I was confused, always confused , yet always trusting, always clinging to every lie , every promise.

The fact is Martha was SADISTIC!  I lost count of the number of pets we lost under mysterious circumstances.  Martha claimed the cats were hiding under the car  to keep warm in the winter.  I offered a solution; "Mother, just tap on the hood before you start the car."  "Oh yea Gwen! Good idea! Why didn't I think of that?"

A few days later, another dead cat!  "Mother! Why didn't you tap on the hood of the car?"  "Shit! I forgot!  Dumb muthafuckers need to learn how to stay away from cars."

A "Christian" with dull understanding, with limited knowledge of GOD's Word falsely believes we have to honor such women as Martha.  That we have to keep her proclivity for INCEST and PEDOPHILIA a secret.  I think the main reason I never told on my mother , GOD  put the true knowledge of who and what my "mother" was  away in a dark little space in my brain.

I never acknowledged how truly evil my "mother" was because I really didn't know, not fully.  And I must laugh now because the little I did learn, she told, she bragged about.

• "I tried to kill my daddy when I wuz sixteen! Mr.Wifford had to wrestle the shotgun out my hand!"
• "Dis bitch called me a 'ho! She was riding in the front seat of my Cadillac, the one my first husband bought me.  I stabbed the bitch! I would have killed her too.  I missed her heart because I wuz stabbing hur from the back seat."
• "I sold lip reducing cream to dumb ass niggers when I wuz sixteen."
• "I flushed five of you damn muthafuckers down the toilet!"

Yes, I knew something wasn't right with her ass, I just didn't have a name for it.  Hugging on  her always felt like I was embracing a huge cold rock.  I was, I just didn't know it.  No, my mother did not have any natural affection for anyone or anything ever.  She was a brilliant actress.  She  could make you feel loved and important,  she deliberately  set you up just  to tear you down, just for her narcissistic supply.

GOD said No!   It can't happen!  Evil can't win, even if it is "light bright and damn near white!"  That was my mother's favorite brag, her skin color and hair texture.  I always wondered why, now I know.  "Common as bat shit!" was the rumor that always followed Martha.  The women would whisper that in church, Wesley Chapel A.M.E.Zion Church in Wade, North Carolina.  Few said anything directly to her face.

I see it now, my mother was a pure bully.  She really was, bullied her way up into the pulpit, made them give her a license!   It didn't matter , license or no license Martha was about as worthy of preaching as Idi Amin  ,  or Adolf Hitler.

For EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS my entire family,   our world,  tipped around Martha like that slut had some real power.  What she had was "mendacity", a word I learned from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.  Martha had nerve, was as common as bat shit but,  was a viper.  A pure viper!

No, I don't know a lot but , even I know GOD did not intend for the likes of Martha Jane Walters to come to this earth, live the sick demented life she lived and just leave.

GOD rescued my ruined brother, a legitimate medical doctor.  He could not trust GOD, rendered a weak eunuch by his own mother and "stepfather".  I understand Martha's strategy.  Be so evil, so treacherous that your whole world will fear you and  none of your victims will ever tell, will never breathe a word about your  "inclinations", your "commonness".

That would be disloyal. "I'm yo'fucking mama muthfucker!   …You'll need me befo' I need you muthafucker! "  My mother played sick head games, was extremely predatory, lying and immoral.  Worse than my mother being as low as she was, she enjoyed it.  Why doesn't this world know sadism is real? Far too many parents, caregivers, intimate friends and relatives are sadistic.  Lying and denying this issue is not helping.

"Come ye out from among them!"   Break the cycle of the generational curse plaguing your family!  Stop living in denial! Praise GOD! It is what it is!

This world will never know that you were a complete abomination, that you purely hated GOD and all goodness, all innocence.  That is why Martha violated her own children, sexually assaulted them as infants, as small children.  No do not cry for Martha, Martha never cared.  Don't forget, Martha had free will.  Don't feel too sorry for those five brothers either.  They have good sense.  They know they are lying, cloaking, shielding.  Do they not know the damage done to them by their  mother is apparent, obvious?  You were hatched by a viper! You never had a mother or a father! GOD gave you a chance through your grandfather, he is the one you should listen to,  should wish to emulate.

No such luck,  slut.  You will not shut my mouth and the only reason it took me so long to piece the pieces of this awful puzzle together is  that "boy" went off and abandoned us for TWENTY -FIVE YEARS!

GOD said you won't get away, you won't.

Rot slut!

It is what it is!

Dear LORD for sixty-two years you kept me at least one step ahead of her and away from the total disaster, the total annihilation that succubus planned for me.  My own mother! A fellow human being.  A Monster! Martha Jane Walters was a total maniacal  SICK DEMENTED SOCIOPATH  that was able to inflict her brand of demonic cruelty on her family for EIGHTY-SEVEN  YEARS  by manipulating our love for her.

I know my love for my mother was natural, instinctive,  unfortunately she had none.  Martha was raped at eight and turned total lunatic.  That is what people will do when they are forced to lie, when they are hated and persecuted.  From what I have been able to deduce Martha was made to feel it was all her fault. She was shamed, scorned , ostracized and the result was Madame Watson!  

Madame Watson was a low common whore that committed incest with her handsome sons, arranged the rape of her own beautiful little daughter when she was only eight.  MARTHA JANE WALTERS WAS A IMP FOR SATAN THAT PREACHED ON THE SIDE JUST TO FOOL THE GULLIBLE PUBLIC.     Martha was NEVER a good person.  She had nothing, wanted nothing but she demanded that  all of her love ones  have less.  Martha never had any real money, not her own, what she did have was the ability to lie perfectly, act  flawlessly.  If my mother had not bragged to me about her secret acts of debauchery I probably would have never caught on.

I know I would have remained clueless without  thoroughly reading and studying my Bible.  Which ironically her extreme cruelty caused.  My daily afflictions caused me to crave knowledge of Christ. It is bad enough to have one perverted parent  but, TWO! Worse, the two buzzards worked WITCHCRAFT!

Dear LORD I am happy! I am beaming!  That horrid whore got all five of my brothers and the vast majority of my relatives still refuse to hear me.  I know, I understand.  I would not want to believe me either.  Martha was so good at her game.  She could preach!  Said all the right things.  Who knew she never meant one single word?

I am writing this post for all the young women afflicted with a mother like mine.  Do know she hates you and blames you for her sorry pathetic life.  Not only is she extremely jealous, extremely greedy and worse,  extremely common.  Yes, she will have sex with anything, man , woman, child. She will have sex in groups and she will have sex alone.  She is a deeply disturbed whore.

Don't worry, they shall proceed no further.

"From such stay away!"