Private Notes 1/8/11

You were wrong to assume your successful plots were the result of your brilliance and black magic.

I believed you, I believed that you were really color struck. Ranting and raving about Earl's color was a ruse. You were in fact insanely jealous. It is as simple as that.

"You Quit Him!!! You quit dat black muthaf*****! I ain't gon have dat black muthaf***** in my house!"

You hooped and hollered for hours. I had no choice. I was fourteen. I lived in your house under your rules. You were my mother. A mother should not cross certain boundaries. Some where you got your wires crossed. You are a woman that firmly believes that you have the right to do anything that crosses your mind, including murder.

It is so hard to not hate you. You deserve nothing but vile hatred, but GOD won't let me. You poor sick selfish woman. The life you have wasted is punishment enough.

I do want you to know that some how in GOD's miraculous way He turned all of your senister plots into gifts for me.

You refused to talk to me and refused to let me talk.

"Why don't you shut de f*** up You talk too f***** much!"; you told me as a little girl and I turned to books, art and writing. Thank you.

I am going to find out what you did in Wade. Someone is going to tell me.

You thought you got away. GOD was just giving you time and space. But just like Jezebel you will not repent.

To GOD be the Glory!

Dear children if you have an unction. If you know that you love the LORD you are surely blessed. If you don't have it and want it, just pray for it.

Be a Blessing and be blessed. "Keep yourself up much as you can."

Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel