Private Notes Friday, 11/5/10

Thank you heavenly father! I was obedient to your WORD. You told me to reconcile with my "mother" and I did. You told me not to worry about what she did to my grandfather. I listened. I heeded. Thank you for re-uniting me with my brother. We never left, she ran us off to conceal her guilt.

Our success incited jealousy and rage in her.

Pick *Micky up LORD! Whisper in his ear that he is somebody. Let him know that he is not defeated. Let him hear LORD!

When you told me that I was too black to be voted most attractive I believed you. You made me think that I bore some kind of stain, some kind of taint. You were not that ignorant then, nor have you ever been that ignorant. You feign that simple coon mentality just to get over on people. Your wickedness is unspeakable. No one wants to know about it. Few people can conceive of a creature such as you.

The only reason I believe it is because I lived it. I am glad that you bragged to my cousin that you sent me a letter that you wiped your behind in. I have other eye witnesses but they are still too afraid of you.

I am deeply ashamed of you. You are my cross, you are my torn in the flesh. GOD knows what I needed. In His Grace and Goodness He promised to protect me, to never leave me and He never has.

My weird sense of humor makes me laugh at you. You have always committed shocking acts of depravity but you have never accepted any responsibility for one of them.

When challenged or admonished you always viciously attacked your admonisher. You taught us well, we knew instinctively; "Let her have her way!" "Don't get her mad! Do what ever she demands." A mad Mathy Jane was something that you didn't want to see or experience.

I can't believe that you actually thought that you were going to get away. That is it, you didn't think. For over eighty-five years you have only had two concerns; your lust and your greed.

I stopped by to tell you that my GOD will fix it! Anything that you want all you have to do is ask him.

My LORD! Dear LORD thank you for sparing me. I didn't know why you threw the dishwasher in the yard when I told you how I appreciated your buying it. That is some serious hatred.

I believed you when you threw all of the clothes in my closet on the floor and dumbed out my dresser drawers at 3 o'clock in the morning. You busted in my room cursing and ranting; "Clean dis muthf**** room up! Get de f*** up!" I thought you were really concerned with my house keeping skills. It didn't occur to me that you never cleaned up anything, well you rarely cleaned.

It is funny how 20/20 hindsight reveals the absolute truth. You got some bad fruit. No, I am not going to bet on your ever repenting. I will not hold my breath waiting on you to say "I'm sorry."

I am not your only victim. You may be good but you are not that good. People know about you and they know that I speak nothing but the truth. Like me, or like I was, they are scared. I can not condemn them. It took me fifty years to confront you about my sexual abuse.

We should call you Iceberg Mathy because you are one cool criminal. I didn't take my eyes off of you when granddaddy "died". There were no tears but there was no fear, no nervousness, no hint of guilt other than your slip of the tongue. I still have the obituary. You tried to show off your "education" by calling it "Obsequiae Services". You are a riot Mathy. Who could contain you? Who could stop you? Why did you call his death a "tragic accident" in the obituary? Why did you list *Gino? He had been gone for years.

Did you blame me for your young trophy husband leaving you? I had nothing to do with that. He probably suspected that you were trying to do to him what you did to your last husband.

You are double-minded, how shameful.

I see you down there in that hole. I can't help you get out. You dug that pit. You are right where you ought to be.

Attention All ditch diggers, haters and the unrighteous; YOU CAN"T WIN! The GOD I serve is too mighty. He is all knowing and His eye is truly on the sparrow.

No you could never love me, but Praise the LORD! GOD DID! GOD LOVES ME! GOD loves all of His children and He protects us from all unrighteousness.

You are hilarious! putting your little pee brain up against GOD! I guess that is a form of insanity.`

Satan is real, don't you fool yourself. The devil will blind you, deafen you, confuse you. The devil will destroy you, don't serve him, don't entertain his schemes. The devil is the opposite of GOD, he will show you no mercy. He will destroy you then turn his back on you.

Remember children; "Apart from Christ you are nothing!"

Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Rachel