Something you may not...

...know about me that you need to know.  I am not sure what you call it right now.  It is a "knowing", some type of clairvoyance.  No, it didn't take clairvoyance to know that my "mother" is a cruel freak or to know that she did in fact murder my grandfather.

It is something greater than common sense.   It is like I have the ability to go back and forth behind the veil.  GOD certainly talks to me, shows me things, directs my footsteps.  Steps in and saves me from demons and dangerous situations.

It is something better than clairvoyance or "seeing".  I told you that it is a "knowing".  I knew the exact millisecond that I became pregnant.  I knew that my baby was a girl and that she would be very brilliant and beautiful.  I always knew that she would be a blessing to me and she has, and always will.

I am still searching for a word that you can understand.  In the meantime I will just call it a "knowing".

I had a little cousin once.  He was a great kid, well mannered, very intelligent, a delight o be around.  He was my aunt *V*******'s son.  I loved my aunt *V*******.  She was always very good to me.  I remember her taking a glass of water and some Royal Crown hair grease, a pencil and a hair brush and creating a cascade of Shirley Temple curls all over my seven year old head.  When she finished I was beautiful.

My aunt *V******* didn't beat me in the head with the wooden hair brush like my "mother" did.  She didn't knock me around and try to break my neck like my "mother" did.

We could depend on aunt *V******* to come and visit us at least once a year.  I loved to see her, she was a born comedienne, had been a very beautiful woman.  Some man cut her from "a**hole to appetite" for some indiscretion.  She never talked about it and I never asked her.  What I know of her business I over heard.

For whatever reason all of aunt *V*******'s children had been given away to various sisters.  But, this cousin, her last child she was able to keep and raise.  Well almost raise.  His life was cut short, expired much to early, I thought.

His nickname was Stinky.  He didn't stink or miss behave but, nicknames are like a rite of passage in my family.

Back to my "knowing".  We lived at 825 Dwain Drive in Savoy Heights in Fayetteville, NC.  It was a little brick house in an all black neighborhood.  I guess it was considered lower black middle class.  It was alright.  It had a huge front and back yard and it was a clean nice neighborhood.  The saddest fact about it was that my "mother's" Cadillac parked beside it was longer than the house.  No criticism, just an observation concerning values.

Well any way I had a very vivid dream this one particular night.  Stinky came to me, I think he woke me up and begged me to let him vacuum the living room.  I remember saying; "Sure Stinky you can vacuum the whole house if you want to!"  I remember watching him vacuum.  I can still hear the vacuum cleaner roaring as Stinky pushed it across the floor.  Stinky was laughing and was just as happy sucking up the dirt in our living room.   And I was happy to let him do it.

I can still see him.  He was a long legged slim young man of fourteen.  Quite handsome.  Very unusual for a "black" person, kind of golden bronze complexion with blonde hair and blue eyes.

I was still trying to interpret that dream when we got the news early that morning.  Stinky was dead!   The same night he spent vacuuming the living room with me  he was in a Baltimore, Maryland hospital dying.   It seems that he died of peritonitis, his appendix had ruptured.

That blew my mind.  Stinky went behind the veil but he stopped by to do something that he enjoyed before he left.

It is a "knowing".  Just thought I would share that with you.

Much Love, Peace and Happiness'
Rachel