Incredulous!

Incredulous is the only word I can summon to describe my long harrowing experience with that woman. What could we expect?  What did my grandfather, grandmother expect?  Obviously they thought dragging her to church every Sunday and praying for her would help. (satan laughed)

I must rely on my imagination to gain the slightest insight into my mother's childhood.  Born "colored" in rural North Carolina  in the year  1925 must have been hard for anyone.   To be born to a "colored" tobacco farmer fresh out of slavery did not make life easy but for a little "colored girl" to  become a demonic succubus requires a great deal of research on my part.

My grandfather worked hard clearing the sixty-five acres of farmland he was able to secure by befriending a righteous white man.  That righteous white man purchased the land for my grandfather because the law forbade blacks from buying land  back then.  He could have swindled my grandfather and laughed.  He didn't .  I never knew the man's name all I know is my  grandfather was eternally grateful.  So grateful he made us repeat his admonition every day that I knew him. "Don't nevah sell the land!"

I will always believe clearing that land, chopping down trees and blowing up stumps crippled my grandfather.  For the twenty seven years I knew him, he could not turn his head.  He had to turn his whole body.  He always walked with a stick, very briskly however.

Well, when I simply review some of the horrid acts my mother committed against us I am flabbergasted.  This woman was truly a succubus.  I know I've called her that often, more out of anger and frustration than reality.  Martha masked her true self well.  She was attractive.  She was charming but she was a succubus.  I should have known that when I stood frozen,  terrified as she beat her new husband nearly to death when he caught her fornicating in the front seat of his car!  I was only four years old.  The image of that broken bloody man has always lived in my head.  Worse, the whore made him cry, made him beg and plead for her to forgive him!

My mother taught us to laugh at my "stepfather's" foolishness.  We all knew.  She taught us from birth to never say a word against her, to let her have her way.  Yes, Martha was sadistic.  My cousin told me how my mother smashed a puppy between two bricks when she was a small child.  (satan was preparing his spawn)

Growing up was awful.  I know now there were times Martha's hidden beast just had to come out.  Martha satisfied her supply of sadistic carnal pleasure through torturing our little bodies.  No, it is not ridiculous.  Too many of us have terrible scars, deep burns and lacerations.

No Mathy Jane you will not get away.  You got in the ground but you won't get away.

Praise the LORD!