You approach your eighty-seventh birthday still ignorant, deaf, dumb and blind to your own faults. Writhing in the same evil hatred and loathsome jealousy that has plagued you for your entire life. A black cloud that has hovered over you, followed and menaced you, kept you from the life GOD intended. A shameful secret that you cherish, (secretly) enjoyed since age thirteen.
You are a very small woman Martha. In the eyes of GOD you are microscopic, a "piss ant". I continue to admonish you and pray for you daily. You are my cross. I will not hate you. I refuse to stoop to your level and wallow in that filth with you. I can not love you. You will not let me.
I refuse to fear you any longer. GOD won't let me. "Fear NO Man (or Woman)!" I will use your abominable wasted life to warn others of the dangers of rebelliousness and deceit. I will preach GOD's WORD from this blog.
You deliberately tried to despicably ruin and utterly destroy every life you touched. For those that still refuse to hear and see, I pray for you daily. I forgive you for your blind stupidity and stagnating fear. Trust GOD. Give up your fear and shame. Do not waste another minute waiting for your albatross to die.
How dare you refuse to believe GOD's Gospel truth! She did things to us, all of us, her "loved ones", that make the devil cringe in repulsive shame. A self styled "homemade witch", a foolish woman that believes to this day that she successfully outwitted GOD. "Though her sins be as scarlet" she thinks they are invisible to the naked eye. The poor foolish woman firmly believes that her fake preaching and phony license have squared her with GOD.
She is a sociopath, a vicious bully. She has no conscience, no love, not a care in the world. She lives to make you grovel at her feet. I refuse. I don't have to. I don't have to beg her for her trinkets. I don't have to pretend her phony fawning is love.
Something inside me will not let me hold my peace. I am jubilant, praising and thanking GOD for saving me from the most vicious despicable demon that ever escaped from the bowels of hell.
All of you can go down with her claiming to believe her lies. Claiming that you love and trust her knowing full well that you don't. I will not fear her "hoodoo". And I don't need her fifty extra dollars. I refuse to continue to let her malign me and set me up for a fall. I will not share my goals and aspirations with her just so she can run ahead of me to plot my destruction.
Continue to call me a crazy drug addict, continue to shun me as she defiantly demands. If you are too blind, too crippled with the grief she inflicted to pick yourself up and live without her permission...I feel sorry for. I will always love all of you. But, I will love you from afar. I will not abide her, condone her tricks or try to live the broken pitiful life she tried so desperately to saddle me with.
I will not true a blind eye to her faults. I will not cloak and lie for her as she demands. Yes GOD will get her. He will take care of her in His own time and in His own way.
In the mean time I will live jubilant, praising GOD, rejoicing and thanking Him for delivering me from a sick succubus to stubborn to accept GOD as her savior. A poor woman that truly believes that she got over, fooled the LORD Jesus Christ Himself.
I will not suffer fools. I WILL LIVE FOR CHRIST!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing." And "Your sins will find you out!"
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace.
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster, (The exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
"Tossed and driven.."
More than ever I now understand the words to that song. My grandfather bragged; "My granddawthur.. she a school tea-CHA down in Atlanta!" My mother would scream "You Ain't S***!"; away from prying eyes and ears.
That's Martha, always on the prowl, always on the sneak. Pretending that she was sad, feigning confusion and disbelief. "You got me wrong. That's not in my character." She always managed to deliver that line with the greatest conviction. She could list all the reasons you had her wrong, say you miss judged her. First of all you were too black. Secondly, you were "no sense-ED. Unable to think or judge correctly. Thirdly, you were jealous of her beauty, brains and COLOR.
You're crazy! You didn't see what you thought you saw. If you could prove the event, if there was no doubt, you were living in the past. There you go, "digging in the Archives."
"Let it Go! Forget it! There is no way I'm admitting to it! I will never tell YOU that I'm sorry. (You better be glad that I didn't kill yo' sorry ***! You lucky I let you live. Stay out my bizness!)
"Tossed and driven". A grandfather that proclaimed that I was his princess, the apple of his eye. A jealous mother that tried to sell me into "whoredom". Made sure that I was savagely raped and ruined as a little girl. Every day I was a "luddle black heifa!", a nothing, a "piece of s***!". A burden, too black to be loved. Too dumb to be honored. A pest, a whiner, a needy thing. As I became older she taught my brothers that I was the low life sneaky snake. That I was the back stabber. That I was the one that could not be trusted. That I was black as an Ace of spades and therefore did not deserve love or honor.
She and that jet black, red-eyed, pearly white teeth man were a team. They were "raising their own p****!" I heard her say it many times. I didn't know exactly what it meant then. I somehow sensed that it meant doom for me. I know fully what it means now. I know what it means when GOD releases you over to a "reprobate mind".
We hid in the library at Fort Bragg. Lucky for us there was always a library nearby. We could hide there. Read all the books, check a ton of them out. I read every thing related to Liberal Arts. My brother read everything science and math oriented. We pretended that we just wanted to read. I never could bring myself to believe that I was afraid to go home. Nasty! Two carnal vultures! She was the worse. She was the ring leader. It was a good thing that she was sneaky and had to play "holy roller".
I thank GOD every day for my big mouth. I thank GOD my mother labeled me a a blabber mouthed snitching tattletale early in life. What if she had believed that she could have depended on me to keep her awful secrets?
I am no longer "tossed and driven"! I am Free! I am proclaiming GOD's Goodness! His Salvation! His Love! His Joy! His release from this awful pain and burden.
Praise the LORD! HAAAAAAAAAALELUJAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
That's Martha, always on the prowl, always on the sneak. Pretending that she was sad, feigning confusion and disbelief. "You got me wrong. That's not in my character." She always managed to deliver that line with the greatest conviction. She could list all the reasons you had her wrong, say you miss judged her. First of all you were too black. Secondly, you were "no sense-ED. Unable to think or judge correctly. Thirdly, you were jealous of her beauty, brains and COLOR.
You're crazy! You didn't see what you thought you saw. If you could prove the event, if there was no doubt, you were living in the past. There you go, "digging in the Archives."
"Let it Go! Forget it! There is no way I'm admitting to it! I will never tell YOU that I'm sorry. (You better be glad that I didn't kill yo' sorry ***! You lucky I let you live. Stay out my bizness!)
"Tossed and driven". A grandfather that proclaimed that I was his princess, the apple of his eye. A jealous mother that tried to sell me into "whoredom". Made sure that I was savagely raped and ruined as a little girl. Every day I was a "luddle black heifa!", a nothing, a "piece of s***!". A burden, too black to be loved. Too dumb to be honored. A pest, a whiner, a needy thing. As I became older she taught my brothers that I was the low life sneaky snake. That I was the back stabber. That I was the one that could not be trusted. That I was black as an Ace of spades and therefore did not deserve love or honor.
She and that jet black, red-eyed, pearly white teeth man were a team. They were "raising their own p****!" I heard her say it many times. I didn't know exactly what it meant then. I somehow sensed that it meant doom for me. I know fully what it means now. I know what it means when GOD releases you over to a "reprobate mind".
We hid in the library at Fort Bragg. Lucky for us there was always a library nearby. We could hide there. Read all the books, check a ton of them out. I read every thing related to Liberal Arts. My brother read everything science and math oriented. We pretended that we just wanted to read. I never could bring myself to believe that I was afraid to go home. Nasty! Two carnal vultures! She was the worse. She was the ring leader. It was a good thing that she was sneaky and had to play "holy roller".
I thank GOD every day for my big mouth. I thank GOD my mother labeled me a a blabber mouthed snitching tattletale early in life. What if she had believed that she could have depended on me to keep her awful secrets?
I am no longer "tossed and driven"! I am Free! I am proclaiming GOD's Goodness! His Salvation! His Love! His Joy! His release from this awful pain and burden.
Praise the LORD! HAAAAAAAAAALELUJAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"Shouting Glad!"
"The truth will make you shouting glad or fighting mad." I heard my grandfather tell my mother that often. She never received those words well. A wayward, stubborn, common woman she was determined to always have her way. She was never going to be wrong, apologize or repent.
Martha never intended to get caught. I don't think she ever thought it possible. Too clever. The fact is she believed her own spill, her own brags. I must say Martha is a woman very much in "lust" with herself. Well, she thinks it is love. In actuality it is pure hate.
She is ashamed, full of self-loathing. She should be ashamed. What she does not know, never learned, hiding her sins only prolongs and perpetuates her deep shame. Martha is a woman that could never say no to her hideous carnal urges. Drawn like a moth to a flame, she always did the worse most despicable acts known to mankind. Then lied and pretended it never happened. Tell her it happened, criticize or quiz her in any way if you dare. You will suffer mightily, verbally, physically, spiritually and psychologically. You were destined to suffer no matter what. Martha is an unhinged, undiagnosed sadistic sociopath. Clever enough and mean enough to keep you busy licking your wounds. She will hound and bludgeon you so much you will not have time to dare think about exposing her. Plus, who is going to believe you? No way! "GOD is not going to let such a person exist on His earth!"; say the non-bible readers.
No she is not a good person. Avoid such people. "Shun the very presence of evil." Oh, she knows full well that she is a hideous monster addicted to inflicting pain and shame. She hates the truth and all truth tellers. Given the slightest chance she will destroy you.
I must say that it did take me a very long time to accept the truth about Martha. I always "knew", but I did not believe. I could not help but know. My "unbelief" stemmed from the fact that I didn't want to know such a horrible monster of a mother could exist. I wanted to believe her lies. I was glad to bask in her fake love.
One day it occurred to me this demon is too evil. Always foul and angry, very touchy and sensitive. The slightest truth from you would send her into and awful tirade that could last for days. She was never going to be wrong. She was beautiful and perfect and you better tell her so often. You must kiss her ***. To love her is to fawn over her and shower her with gifts. She molded us into that image, that brainless zombie from infancy.
"Don't you tell! Don't you n****** tell'ah muthaf******** thang dat go on in dis house!" In Martha's mind people not knowing made it alright. Do any and everything you want. Play a role, praise GOD a thousand times a day and people will really believe that you are religious. Hate GOD in your heart but proclaim Him out of your foul mouth. Say sweet things, the absolute opposite of what you really mean. N***** are too dumb. They will never catch on. "There is no GOD!" But play these fools for their stupidity and gullibility. You are the Queen. You say what's what. If you find any objectors, lie on them, smear their name. Grease the palm of your minions. They can be bought for fifty dollars or a Coach bag. Pretend, pretend, pretend to the very end. You are a clever brilliant actress. Get an old woman's prayer and memorize it. These dummies will never know the difference. You're too smart. No one will ever catch you. Yea, you killed that "talkin'" daddy of yours. Always going on about the Bible and Jesus and s***. He was a pain in the absolute ***. He wudden die! I gave him plenty of time. 84 YEARS! That was long enough. Besides I said all those good things about him in his obituary. Damn! What more does the world want from me!? What does GOD want? I peach don't I? I deliver good gullible souls to Him. No, I can't be bothered wid dat s*** mysef. It's too hard. GAWD's rules are too hard. Sides who gon' believe I'm really as evil as I am. S***! I don't even believe it myself."
Surviving Martha certainly has been a test. I would have lost many times without the LORD Jesus Christ on my side. Without the wisdom of Jerome Walters to guide me. I must say that I am truly "Shoutin' glad" this morning.
Remember; "Know ye the truth and the truth will set you free!" Stay in His WORD children And remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Martha never intended to get caught. I don't think she ever thought it possible. Too clever. The fact is she believed her own spill, her own brags. I must say Martha is a woman very much in "lust" with herself. Well, she thinks it is love. In actuality it is pure hate.
She is ashamed, full of self-loathing. She should be ashamed. What she does not know, never learned, hiding her sins only prolongs and perpetuates her deep shame. Martha is a woman that could never say no to her hideous carnal urges. Drawn like a moth to a flame, she always did the worse most despicable acts known to mankind. Then lied and pretended it never happened. Tell her it happened, criticize or quiz her in any way if you dare. You will suffer mightily, verbally, physically, spiritually and psychologically. You were destined to suffer no matter what. Martha is an unhinged, undiagnosed sadistic sociopath. Clever enough and mean enough to keep you busy licking your wounds. She will hound and bludgeon you so much you will not have time to dare think about exposing her. Plus, who is going to believe you? No way! "GOD is not going to let such a person exist on His earth!"; say the non-bible readers.
No she is not a good person. Avoid such people. "Shun the very presence of evil." Oh, she knows full well that she is a hideous monster addicted to inflicting pain and shame. She hates the truth and all truth tellers. Given the slightest chance she will destroy you.
I must say that it did take me a very long time to accept the truth about Martha. I always "knew", but I did not believe. I could not help but know. My "unbelief" stemmed from the fact that I didn't want to know such a horrible monster of a mother could exist. I wanted to believe her lies. I was glad to bask in her fake love.
One day it occurred to me this demon is too evil. Always foul and angry, very touchy and sensitive. The slightest truth from you would send her into and awful tirade that could last for days. She was never going to be wrong. She was beautiful and perfect and you better tell her so often. You must kiss her ***. To love her is to fawn over her and shower her with gifts. She molded us into that image, that brainless zombie from infancy.
"Don't you tell! Don't you n****** tell'ah muthaf******** thang dat go on in dis house!" In Martha's mind people not knowing made it alright. Do any and everything you want. Play a role, praise GOD a thousand times a day and people will really believe that you are religious. Hate GOD in your heart but proclaim Him out of your foul mouth. Say sweet things, the absolute opposite of what you really mean. N***** are too dumb. They will never catch on. "There is no GOD!" But play these fools for their stupidity and gullibility. You are the Queen. You say what's what. If you find any objectors, lie on them, smear their name. Grease the palm of your minions. They can be bought for fifty dollars or a Coach bag. Pretend, pretend, pretend to the very end. You are a clever brilliant actress. Get an old woman's prayer and memorize it. These dummies will never know the difference. You're too smart. No one will ever catch you. Yea, you killed that "talkin'" daddy of yours. Always going on about the Bible and Jesus and s***. He was a pain in the absolute ***. He wudden die! I gave him plenty of time. 84 YEARS! That was long enough. Besides I said all those good things about him in his obituary. Damn! What more does the world want from me!? What does GOD want? I peach don't I? I deliver good gullible souls to Him. No, I can't be bothered wid dat s*** mysef. It's too hard. GAWD's rules are too hard. Sides who gon' believe I'm really as evil as I am. S***! I don't even believe it myself."
Surviving Martha certainly has been a test. I would have lost many times without the LORD Jesus Christ on my side. Without the wisdom of Jerome Walters to guide me. I must say that I am truly "Shoutin' glad" this morning.
Remember; "Know ye the truth and the truth will set you free!" Stay in His WORD children And remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Monday, September 3, 2012
"GAWD don't won't no fence straddlers!"
"He don't want no do-gooders from 'leban to seben" on Sunday. GAWD don't want yo' phony prayers, yo' put on, to be seen of man.
If yo' heart ain't right...git it right! Do it! and do it right ni!
GAWD tied of foolin' wid you. He been puttin' up wid yo' mess long enuf. Well, I really can't say if GAWD is tied, but I sho' am. You done tried every trick in duh book. You have tried by "hook or crook". You have tried "goofer dust" and "lucky hands". You have tried the weegee board and tarot cards. You went to Madame Swanee and Doctur John. You done visited and spent all yo' money on two-headed docturs trying to circumvent GAWD.
You prayed false prayers and searched the "Lost Book of Moses". You are determined that you gon' win when you know in yo' heart you can't. You lost! You lost in duh wilderness. You lost deep in sin. Hi a luddle piss ant of a human gon' fight Almighty GAWD? GAWD made dis wurld. You didn't! You ain't got nuttin' tuh do wid it! You thank cause you done got old you got ova'?
Who did you git ova' on? Who did you fool? Dem dat you made foolish? Dem dat you ruined? Dem dats jest as blind and foolish as you? I know dey shame. Dey shame that dey let you fool um for so long. But, its alright chullun. It's alright! GAWD still loves you. He love all of you! He sent a man. He sent His son from Galilee to free you, to save you, to lift you up! He sunt dat luddle gal to tell you.
He kept hur heart right. Her kept hur mind right. Don'cha dawg Hiz chile! Don't you tell nar'nuther lie on hur!
If you can't live right...if you won't live right...git on way from GAWD's throne. Don'cha lead nar'nuther one of GAWD's chullun astray. If you can't live right...won't live right, can't luv duh LAWD...stay way from His Church. Stay way from GAWD's people.
You jest go on tuh hell by yo'sef...go whur you wanna be. Stop trying to take eva'body witch'cha. Stop blocking blessings and GAWD's Holy WORD."
(I'm jest hangin' 'round GAWD's throne...waitin' on y'all. Waitin' on you to remember what I always taught you. "Jesus will fix it!"
JR Walters)
Be careful who you listen to. Be careful of the church you attend. "Watch as well as pray." A true man of GOD does not have to have formal degrees from seminaries. You don't have to be well spoken and highly educated to hear from GOD or to speak His WORD. Don't let fine raiment and smooth soft words fool you. Do look at their fruit. Listen carefully and look behind their words.
Ask GOD to lead and guide you, in Jesus' name I pray.
If yo' heart ain't right...git it right! Do it! and do it right ni!
GAWD tied of foolin' wid you. He been puttin' up wid yo' mess long enuf. Well, I really can't say if GAWD is tied, but I sho' am. You done tried every trick in duh book. You have tried by "hook or crook". You have tried "goofer dust" and "lucky hands". You have tried the weegee board and tarot cards. You went to Madame Swanee and Doctur John. You done visited and spent all yo' money on two-headed docturs trying to circumvent GAWD.
You prayed false prayers and searched the "Lost Book of Moses". You are determined that you gon' win when you know in yo' heart you can't. You lost! You lost in duh wilderness. You lost deep in sin. Hi a luddle piss ant of a human gon' fight Almighty GAWD? GAWD made dis wurld. You didn't! You ain't got nuttin' tuh do wid it! You thank cause you done got old you got ova'?
Who did you git ova' on? Who did you fool? Dem dat you made foolish? Dem dat you ruined? Dem dats jest as blind and foolish as you? I know dey shame. Dey shame that dey let you fool um for so long. But, its alright chullun. It's alright! GAWD still loves you. He love all of you! He sent a man. He sent His son from Galilee to free you, to save you, to lift you up! He sunt dat luddle gal to tell you.
He kept hur heart right. Her kept hur mind right. Don'cha dawg Hiz chile! Don't you tell nar'nuther lie on hur!
If you can't live right...if you won't live right...git on way from GAWD's throne. Don'cha lead nar'nuther one of GAWD's chullun astray. If you can't live right...won't live right, can't luv duh LAWD...stay way from His Church. Stay way from GAWD's people.
You jest go on tuh hell by yo'sef...go whur you wanna be. Stop trying to take eva'body witch'cha. Stop blocking blessings and GAWD's Holy WORD."
(I'm jest hangin' 'round GAWD's throne...waitin' on y'all. Waitin' on you to remember what I always taught you. "Jesus will fix it!"
JR Walters)
Be careful who you listen to. Be careful of the church you attend. "Watch as well as pray." A true man of GOD does not have to have formal degrees from seminaries. You don't have to be well spoken and highly educated to hear from GOD or to speak His WORD. Don't let fine raiment and smooth soft words fool you. Do look at their fruit. Listen carefully and look behind their words.
Ask GOD to lead and guide you, in Jesus' name I pray.
"A Great Getting Up Morning!"
Every day that you get up with the activity of your limbs, in your "right mind", should be a "Great Getting Up Morning!" Get up with praise on your lips and love in your heart. Get up singing, praising and glorifying the LORD!
Thank GOD for making a way out of "no way", for delivering you from evil. Fall down on your knees every morning thanking, praising your Father in Heaven. If you can not think of a prayer, if the words escape your lips and mind, simply repeat "The LORD"s Prayer". Don't you move, don't you leave your house until you pray.
I humbly thank GOD today. I thank Him for saving me, sparing me. I thank Him for making me His vessel, His mouth piece. I thank Him for planting His laws, His goodness in my heart. I thank Him for removing the hatred, the shame and degradation. I thank Him for waking me up in my right mind.
I am sold out for Christ. I have a beautiful testimony and I am going to tell it! I know that GOD will right every wrong. He will lead and guide you in the right direction. He will open doors. He will put the right people in your path.
If you are living below GOD's standard, His vision for your life, you are no truly living, you are merely existing. If you are ashamed, living in fear, why? If you are a person of little or weak faith, why? If Jesus is on your lips and not embedded deep in your heart, why?
You must ask GOD to come into your heart. You must pray for courage and understanding. Let go of fear. Let go of lies. Come to the Cross! Drag all of your burdens and leave them there. GOD did not bring one person to this earth to suffer. Christ suffered for us. He gave up His life for us. Stay in His WORD and trust Him.
Don't believe that lie that you can be too "religious", too "Christ like". GOD has a plan. You are either for Him or against Him.
I have a prayer today. I am praying for all of the fallen, all of the wounded. I am praying for all of His children still suffering, still believing that lie that they are forsaken. I am praying for everyone afraid to accept GOD's truth. I am praying for my brothers, all of my "loved ones", I am praying for all the people that believe that lie from Lucifer that "you have to go along to get along". I am praying for everyone that believes they have to turn a blind eye to wrong doing. Pretend and feign because a Jezebel Spirit cloaked in a robe and hiding behind a license to preach is sincere, is loving and caring.
You don't have to continue to live a lie because you always have. You don't have to hide mental illness, serious psychosis, torture, brutality and confusion because that was the life you inherited, because that was the life you were born into.
You were never forsaken. You are not unworthy. The devil can not win. You are strong. You are not too weak, too blind, to see and know GOD's Truth.
I don't know why I was born into maddening evil, entangled and strangled from birth. I don't know why my mother gave me away and when forced to retrieve me from a whore house set out on a plan to utterly destroy me. I know it happened. I know that GOD placed Jerome Walters in my path to save me. I will not shut up and keep the sickest evil a secret to protect her.
I know the Truth! I know GOD saved me. I know that GOD is still in the saving business. GOD told us that if you dig a pit for others, you better dig two. I don't know why my mother has lived and extremely long life full of debauchery, evil and sadistic brutality. I know that she is a terrorist. I know that she is a liar, a "root worker", a conjurer, depending on the stupidity, blindness and weakness of her victims.
I know that she has to get up every morning trying to think of another lie, of another trick or scheme to hide her deplorable life. I know that she demands to be honored and revered. I know that she is selfish and uncaring. I know that she wants to drag the whole world into the hell she created.
GOD will not let a man's good name be dishonored. No matter how vicious and threatening, no matter how horrible the truth is, you must know it. When I look back on the truth, when I reflect on the deeds committed against my family by my own mother I cringe. I know that it takes strength to read my blog. It takes courage to know my awful truth. I know that GOD will not let me hold my peace. Martha is not the only such woman in the world. There are many men and women that are afflicted with a demon. A demon that they won't shake. There are men and women on this earth proud to destroy, maim and crucify.
These people are false prophets, ravenous wolves in sheep's clothing. You can not say that Jesus did not warn us. You have His WORD. Read it , study it, plant it in your heart. I know that they will not get away. If you let them get away, if you honor them out of habit, you are just as guilty.
I know that we will all have to give an account to GOD one day. We will all have to answer for the lives we lived on this earth. On that day you will not be able to say; "I was afraid LORD. She held me hostage. LORD, you told me to honor my mother."
GOD will remind you; "I told you to fear no man."
"We walk by faith and not by sight." No man or woman can fool us, intimidate or terrorize us if we trust GOD.
Pray! Pray for your deliverance. Pray for the deliverance of mankind. Pray that Martha will finally hear and understand. Pray that she will confess and come to repentance. Pray that her mind will mature in Christ. Dear LORD! remove all the veils. Open all the ears and eyes. Save us Dear LORD is my prayer in Christ's name. Amen!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Thank GOD for making a way out of "no way", for delivering you from evil. Fall down on your knees every morning thanking, praising your Father in Heaven. If you can not think of a prayer, if the words escape your lips and mind, simply repeat "The LORD"s Prayer". Don't you move, don't you leave your house until you pray.
I humbly thank GOD today. I thank Him for saving me, sparing me. I thank Him for making me His vessel, His mouth piece. I thank Him for planting His laws, His goodness in my heart. I thank Him for removing the hatred, the shame and degradation. I thank Him for waking me up in my right mind.
I am sold out for Christ. I have a beautiful testimony and I am going to tell it! I know that GOD will right every wrong. He will lead and guide you in the right direction. He will open doors. He will put the right people in your path.
If you are living below GOD's standard, His vision for your life, you are no truly living, you are merely existing. If you are ashamed, living in fear, why? If you are a person of little or weak faith, why? If Jesus is on your lips and not embedded deep in your heart, why?
You must ask GOD to come into your heart. You must pray for courage and understanding. Let go of fear. Let go of lies. Come to the Cross! Drag all of your burdens and leave them there. GOD did not bring one person to this earth to suffer. Christ suffered for us. He gave up His life for us. Stay in His WORD and trust Him.
Don't believe that lie that you can be too "religious", too "Christ like". GOD has a plan. You are either for Him or against Him.
I have a prayer today. I am praying for all of the fallen, all of the wounded. I am praying for all of His children still suffering, still believing that lie that they are forsaken. I am praying for everyone afraid to accept GOD's truth. I am praying for my brothers, all of my "loved ones", I am praying for all the people that believe that lie from Lucifer that "you have to go along to get along". I am praying for everyone that believes they have to turn a blind eye to wrong doing. Pretend and feign because a Jezebel Spirit cloaked in a robe and hiding behind a license to preach is sincere, is loving and caring.
You don't have to continue to live a lie because you always have. You don't have to hide mental illness, serious psychosis, torture, brutality and confusion because that was the life you inherited, because that was the life you were born into.
You were never forsaken. You are not unworthy. The devil can not win. You are strong. You are not too weak, too blind, to see and know GOD's Truth.
I don't know why I was born into maddening evil, entangled and strangled from birth. I don't know why my mother gave me away and when forced to retrieve me from a whore house set out on a plan to utterly destroy me. I know it happened. I know that GOD placed Jerome Walters in my path to save me. I will not shut up and keep the sickest evil a secret to protect her.
I know the Truth! I know GOD saved me. I know that GOD is still in the saving business. GOD told us that if you dig a pit for others, you better dig two. I don't know why my mother has lived and extremely long life full of debauchery, evil and sadistic brutality. I know that she is a terrorist. I know that she is a liar, a "root worker", a conjurer, depending on the stupidity, blindness and weakness of her victims.
I know that she has to get up every morning trying to think of another lie, of another trick or scheme to hide her deplorable life. I know that she demands to be honored and revered. I know that she is selfish and uncaring. I know that she wants to drag the whole world into the hell she created.
GOD will not let a man's good name be dishonored. No matter how vicious and threatening, no matter how horrible the truth is, you must know it. When I look back on the truth, when I reflect on the deeds committed against my family by my own mother I cringe. I know that it takes strength to read my blog. It takes courage to know my awful truth. I know that GOD will not let me hold my peace. Martha is not the only such woman in the world. There are many men and women that are afflicted with a demon. A demon that they won't shake. There are men and women on this earth proud to destroy, maim and crucify.
These people are false prophets, ravenous wolves in sheep's clothing. You can not say that Jesus did not warn us. You have His WORD. Read it , study it, plant it in your heart. I know that they will not get away. If you let them get away, if you honor them out of habit, you are just as guilty.
I know that we will all have to give an account to GOD one day. We will all have to answer for the lives we lived on this earth. On that day you will not be able to say; "I was afraid LORD. She held me hostage. LORD, you told me to honor my mother."
GOD will remind you; "I told you to fear no man."
"We walk by faith and not by sight." No man or woman can fool us, intimidate or terrorize us if we trust GOD.
Pray! Pray for your deliverance. Pray for the deliverance of mankind. Pray that Martha will finally hear and understand. Pray that she will confess and come to repentance. Pray that her mind will mature in Christ. Dear LORD! remove all the veils. Open all the ears and eyes. Save us Dear LORD is my prayer in Christ's name. Amen!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Never take GOD's blessings for granted
Look up sometime and thank GOD for His many blessings. We are all created equal, equal in the eyes of the LORD. He loves us all unconditionally. But, we do not have the same gifts, talents or understanding.
If you are able to love, to love honestly and purely, that truly is a gift from GOD. Cherish that gift and appreciate it. Some people can not love or will not love. There are people on this earth writhing with hatred and sick jealousy. Pray for those people because they are miserable.
When you can't love GOD, when you have no charity or human compassion you are living below GOD's standard. When the best you can do is offer some artificial love. When your love is all in your mouth, soft honey coated words that you don't mean. When the best you can do is compliment and pretend, you need prayer.
I will not hate my mother because she lost her way. I will not hide her and cloak for her as she insists. She is a child locked in an elderly woman's body. She would not listen. I have watched her, observed her closely for sixty-one years. I know she is miserable. I am not fooled by her grandiose antics, her braggadocios behavior.
I know that my mother is still that little eight year old girl that was viciously raped. Her life stopped there. Frozen mentally, a frightened terrorized little girl doing what she thinks she must to survive. She has no trust, another victim of very weak faith.
Because she is a little girl she wants everything she sees. Still an immature infant she wants everything shiny and new. She can't love, she can't trust. A hardheaded injured miscreant she turned to witchcraft and her own devises to get what she wanted. She is a sexual deviant. Can that be blamed on the fact that she was horribly violated at such a young age? Perhaps.
Why can't she trust? Why can't she love the LORD in spirit and in truth? I don't know, but GOD knows. I know she always hated me. Hated me in her womb. I have never known her to love anyone sincerely. I know she knows better. Her stealth "demonism" proves she knows better.
Some how Martha got it twisted. Some how she became convinced that she could do the worse things imaginable and simply tell a grand lie or have a tremendous tantrum and that act would be erased, not counted against her.
I do believe that she thinks her "preaching" pleases GOD. I am convinced that is why she became and ordained minister after she MURDERED her own father. I know that we were terrorized , brutalized children. I know that not one single day went by when she was not up to some sick scheme to make us hurt, to make us suffer. I forgive her. I pray for her. I used to think that I suffered, that I lived in misery. I now know that she suffered far more than I ever could.
Nothing, no event, no person has ever caused me to not love. I have always been loving, kind and forgiving.
Being a loving kind person doesn't make you stupid or blind. Martha was always frustrated with my ability to think for myself. She did try to lure me into her sickness, her carnal "activities". GOD blessed with the sense to know better. I was three, four and five and the alarms went off in my head. I am sure I escaped some of her worst deeds because she knew I would tell.
Plagued by her carnal demonic nature, "they" finally violated me when I was eight years old. I wasn't that drunk Martha. Your scheme failed. What kept me silent so long? Was it fear? shame? No, it was unbelief. To this day I can't believe a woman such as you can exist.
Most people still refuse to believe me. Some like Martha can't care, can't love. No, you have not murdered physically. But have you murdered in your heart? Have you hardened your heart? Are you selfish and uncaring? Are you going about your beautiful blessed life caring only for yourself and your immediate family? What do you do for others, for GOD? What are you doing to help the "helpless"?
I know that many people refuse to believe that the Martha they know is anything but kind and loving. I have no reason to lie.
It is with great pride and honor I proclaim my victory. I am so proud and honored to know that GOD's Grace and Mercy have kept me, delivered me and given me a voice.
If you can love your fellow man for real, if you can love GOD and serve Him in sincerity and truth, thank GOD. What ever you do, have no fear of mortal man. If a demon posing as your mother defiled you, ruined your life pretending to love you, call her out. Do not suffer to protect an aberration that is unworthy of any kindness you can offer.
That horrible degrading act she lured you into was not your fault. Trust GOD! He will never leave you or fail you. I've told. The world knows. Wake up! You don't have to protect her. She can't cast her guilt and shame on you. Look at her and see her for what she is, a hideous monster, a MURDERER, a psychotic pedophile, a LIAR and a thief.
GOD promised me, He promised us ; "when your mother and father forsake you, I will take you up." The LORD lifted me, took me up out of that sick misery. Thank you LORD for your deliverance and tender mercies.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
If you are able to love, to love honestly and purely, that truly is a gift from GOD. Cherish that gift and appreciate it. Some people can not love or will not love. There are people on this earth writhing with hatred and sick jealousy. Pray for those people because they are miserable.
When you can't love GOD, when you have no charity or human compassion you are living below GOD's standard. When the best you can do is offer some artificial love. When your love is all in your mouth, soft honey coated words that you don't mean. When the best you can do is compliment and pretend, you need prayer.
I will not hate my mother because she lost her way. I will not hide her and cloak for her as she insists. She is a child locked in an elderly woman's body. She would not listen. I have watched her, observed her closely for sixty-one years. I know she is miserable. I am not fooled by her grandiose antics, her braggadocios behavior.
I know that my mother is still that little eight year old girl that was viciously raped. Her life stopped there. Frozen mentally, a frightened terrorized little girl doing what she thinks she must to survive. She has no trust, another victim of very weak faith.
Because she is a little girl she wants everything she sees. Still an immature infant she wants everything shiny and new. She can't love, she can't trust. A hardheaded injured miscreant she turned to witchcraft and her own devises to get what she wanted. She is a sexual deviant. Can that be blamed on the fact that she was horribly violated at such a young age? Perhaps.
Why can't she trust? Why can't she love the LORD in spirit and in truth? I don't know, but GOD knows. I know she always hated me. Hated me in her womb. I have never known her to love anyone sincerely. I know she knows better. Her stealth "demonism" proves she knows better.
Some how Martha got it twisted. Some how she became convinced that she could do the worse things imaginable and simply tell a grand lie or have a tremendous tantrum and that act would be erased, not counted against her.
I do believe that she thinks her "preaching" pleases GOD. I am convinced that is why she became and ordained minister after she MURDERED her own father. I know that we were terrorized , brutalized children. I know that not one single day went by when she was not up to some sick scheme to make us hurt, to make us suffer. I forgive her. I pray for her. I used to think that I suffered, that I lived in misery. I now know that she suffered far more than I ever could.
Nothing, no event, no person has ever caused me to not love. I have always been loving, kind and forgiving.
Being a loving kind person doesn't make you stupid or blind. Martha was always frustrated with my ability to think for myself. She did try to lure me into her sickness, her carnal "activities". GOD blessed with the sense to know better. I was three, four and five and the alarms went off in my head. I am sure I escaped some of her worst deeds because she knew I would tell.
Plagued by her carnal demonic nature, "they" finally violated me when I was eight years old. I wasn't that drunk Martha. Your scheme failed. What kept me silent so long? Was it fear? shame? No, it was unbelief. To this day I can't believe a woman such as you can exist.
Most people still refuse to believe me. Some like Martha can't care, can't love. No, you have not murdered physically. But have you murdered in your heart? Have you hardened your heart? Are you selfish and uncaring? Are you going about your beautiful blessed life caring only for yourself and your immediate family? What do you do for others, for GOD? What are you doing to help the "helpless"?
I know that many people refuse to believe that the Martha they know is anything but kind and loving. I have no reason to lie.
It is with great pride and honor I proclaim my victory. I am so proud and honored to know that GOD's Grace and Mercy have kept me, delivered me and given me a voice.
If you can love your fellow man for real, if you can love GOD and serve Him in sincerity and truth, thank GOD. What ever you do, have no fear of mortal man. If a demon posing as your mother defiled you, ruined your life pretending to love you, call her out. Do not suffer to protect an aberration that is unworthy of any kindness you can offer.
That horrible degrading act she lured you into was not your fault. Trust GOD! He will never leave you or fail you. I've told. The world knows. Wake up! You don't have to protect her. She can't cast her guilt and shame on you. Look at her and see her for what she is, a hideous monster, a MURDERER, a psychotic pedophile, a LIAR and a thief.
GOD promised me, He promised us ; "when your mother and father forsake you, I will take you up." The LORD lifted me, took me up out of that sick misery. Thank you LORD for your deliverance and tender mercies.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Saturday, September 1, 2012
"You can't hide from GOD ...
there ain't no point in your trying. You can't wear GOD down either. You will make your loved ones weary. But, not GOD. The LORD has a time table that we can't understand. His ways are mysterious. Now dey ain't no need of you trying to match wits with GOD. You look like a fool chile. You look stupid. No...I'm not calling you stupid. You ain't nevah been stupid...but, you sho' is ignut.
You been in this world all this time trying to prove that you jest as smart as GOD. You think you the only one that every thought mixing conjure and the Gospel was a sure fire plan? You not the furst to think they too smart to get caught. You not the furst to think; "Well I got away wid it all dis time...GOD ain't lookin'...He don't care."
Yes GOD cares baby. GOD cares a whole heap. Don't let dese people that you done fooled and led astray give you mo' confidence dan you oughta' have. Don't you dare think "talking GOD" is the same as living fa' GOD or loving Him.
Furst off... stop right there! Stop dead in yo' tracks! Hi you gon' call yo'sef' a chile of GOD hating eva'body you know 'cause you can't have yo' way? Hi you think destroying eva'thang you think is bedder dan you, smarter than you, prettier than you gon' elavate you?
You sef'ish chile, just plain sef'ish and greedy. You too greedy...don't care 'bout nobody...nevah did...nevah will. Dat's yo' cross to bear.
I jest dropped by to tell you 'bout GOD's plan. Yea, He got a plan chile. If you stopped long enough to listen tuh one of your own sermons you would know dat. Ni dat you done made a complete disgusting mess of yo' life, you can still come to Christ. Don't get mad 'cause people talking 'bout you. You been mad a long long time. Get mad 'bout the sin. Get mad wid the devil . Get mad wid yo'sef!
You can't bury your fruit. You can't hide it. Ain't no point in you calling dat gal a liar. Dey all know. Eva'body know 'bout you. I hope you notice dey gettin' less and less scared. Some mo' of 'um gone come out and tell you 'bout yo'sef. Some mo' of'um gone come out from amoung'um.
Yea you sho' messed up ... secretly hating and back stabbing yo own chullun', yo' own family. You messed up jest looking out fa' yo'sef'. Ni, you shame to come to Christ. You still ignut... worring 'bout what people gon' say. The truf is you didn't have as many people fooled as you thought you had. They jest like being entertained. Jest like you, like to see people headed the wrong way, messing up dey lives. A lot of people feel the same way 'bout you. Dey is a lot people glad to see you on yo' way to hell. There are people that don't eva' want you to wake up and come to Christ. You ain't the only one blocking blessings. Dey a heap of folks that will tell you wrong...way fo' they will tell you right. Some will say that you got gall and gumption. I'd say you lost yo' way and lost you mind in the process. People calling you a preacha, don't make you a preacha. It don't make you acceptable in GOD's sight. Some just wanted to see you up 'dere just so they could talk about you, laugh at'cha'. Yea, some sho' had a good time talkin' bout the nerve you had calling yo'sef a preacha.
I got to go ni. I'm jest hanging 'round heaven all day. I sho' wish you wud give yo' life to Christ. Do it fa' real. You know GOD loves you and He sho' understand.
I sho' hope to see you in heaven one day.
Love, you daddy, JR Walters "
*For some reason I channel my grandfather. We were very close. So close we finished each other's sentences. My grandfather never had any hatred in his heart for anyone. He never hated my mother or my "stepfather". He loved the LORD. He taught me by precept and example. My mother hates me because I know the truth. It is an awful truth. She is a very wicked common woman. My research has taught me that these narcissistic pedophiles project their deeds and character flaws onto others.
True, I suffered mightily for a very long time. I never could understand why she said so many terrible things about me. Accused me of being a lesbian, of being a "sneaky snake". Now I know that she was talking about herself, projecting her awful sickness onto me.
But, make sure that you know that GOD was always with me, leading and guiding me every step of the way. I will not be ashamed of my pain. I am no longer mystified by her foul deeds. I was crucified, led astray, bludgeoned and betrayed by my own "mother". But. GOD SAVED ME! He picked me up, brushed me off, cleaned me up. Now all I want to do is testify about the goodness of GOD. He saved me, He'll save you. That woman heaped nothing but shame on me. Now she has to bear the shame that she wrought.
I will not be ashamed because my own mother was low and common enough to violate and torture me. GOD saved me, protected me. Revealed all of her greedy corrupt schemes. GOD turned every foul thing she did to me into as mighty blessing. Praise the LORD!
I don't hear from her much any more. GOD will make your enemies scatter. He will shut their lying mouths. She may be lost but she is not forsaken. She can't hide. Adam and Eve tried to hide their nakedness with fig leaves. When they heard GOD coming they tried to hide from Him in His Garden. You can't hide Martha. All eyes are upon you. Just like you taught me; "GOD sits high and He looks low."
You can't hide from GOD children. GOD knows your every thought. He knows the number of hairs on your head. Don't you ever be fool enough to think you can fool GOD. Don't you ever think you can trade your "good deeds" for you bad deeds. Don't think children are stupid. Some children can remember. No, they are innocent and helpless. You may think you can put your hands on them. You may think that you got away with your evil. You better think again.
If you want to be loved and admired, you better do the right thing. If you want honor, earn it.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
You been in this world all this time trying to prove that you jest as smart as GOD. You think you the only one that every thought mixing conjure and the Gospel was a sure fire plan? You not the furst to think they too smart to get caught. You not the furst to think; "Well I got away wid it all dis time...GOD ain't lookin'...He don't care."
Yes GOD cares baby. GOD cares a whole heap. Don't let dese people that you done fooled and led astray give you mo' confidence dan you oughta' have. Don't you dare think "talking GOD" is the same as living fa' GOD or loving Him.
Furst off... stop right there! Stop dead in yo' tracks! Hi you gon' call yo'sef' a chile of GOD hating eva'body you know 'cause you can't have yo' way? Hi you think destroying eva'thang you think is bedder dan you, smarter than you, prettier than you gon' elavate you?
You sef'ish chile, just plain sef'ish and greedy. You too greedy...don't care 'bout nobody...nevah did...nevah will. Dat's yo' cross to bear.
I jest dropped by to tell you 'bout GOD's plan. Yea, He got a plan chile. If you stopped long enough to listen tuh one of your own sermons you would know dat. Ni dat you done made a complete disgusting mess of yo' life, you can still come to Christ. Don't get mad 'cause people talking 'bout you. You been mad a long long time. Get mad 'bout the sin. Get mad wid the devil . Get mad wid yo'sef!
You can't bury your fruit. You can't hide it. Ain't no point in you calling dat gal a liar. Dey all know. Eva'body know 'bout you. I hope you notice dey gettin' less and less scared. Some mo' of 'um gone come out and tell you 'bout yo'sef. Some mo' of'um gone come out from amoung'um.
Yea you sho' messed up ... secretly hating and back stabbing yo own chullun', yo' own family. You messed up jest looking out fa' yo'sef'. Ni, you shame to come to Christ. You still ignut... worring 'bout what people gon' say. The truf is you didn't have as many people fooled as you thought you had. They jest like being entertained. Jest like you, like to see people headed the wrong way, messing up dey lives. A lot of people feel the same way 'bout you. Dey is a lot people glad to see you on yo' way to hell. There are people that don't eva' want you to wake up and come to Christ. You ain't the only one blocking blessings. Dey a heap of folks that will tell you wrong...way fo' they will tell you right. Some will say that you got gall and gumption. I'd say you lost yo' way and lost you mind in the process. People calling you a preacha, don't make you a preacha. It don't make you acceptable in GOD's sight. Some just wanted to see you up 'dere just so they could talk about you, laugh at'cha'. Yea, some sho' had a good time talkin' bout the nerve you had calling yo'sef a preacha.
I got to go ni. I'm jest hanging 'round heaven all day. I sho' wish you wud give yo' life to Christ. Do it fa' real. You know GOD loves you and He sho' understand.
I sho' hope to see you in heaven one day.
Love, you daddy, JR Walters "
*For some reason I channel my grandfather. We were very close. So close we finished each other's sentences. My grandfather never had any hatred in his heart for anyone. He never hated my mother or my "stepfather". He loved the LORD. He taught me by precept and example. My mother hates me because I know the truth. It is an awful truth. She is a very wicked common woman. My research has taught me that these narcissistic pedophiles project their deeds and character flaws onto others.
True, I suffered mightily for a very long time. I never could understand why she said so many terrible things about me. Accused me of being a lesbian, of being a "sneaky snake". Now I know that she was talking about herself, projecting her awful sickness onto me.
But, make sure that you know that GOD was always with me, leading and guiding me every step of the way. I will not be ashamed of my pain. I am no longer mystified by her foul deeds. I was crucified, led astray, bludgeoned and betrayed by my own "mother". But. GOD SAVED ME! He picked me up, brushed me off, cleaned me up. Now all I want to do is testify about the goodness of GOD. He saved me, He'll save you. That woman heaped nothing but shame on me. Now she has to bear the shame that she wrought.
I will not be ashamed because my own mother was low and common enough to violate and torture me. GOD saved me, protected me. Revealed all of her greedy corrupt schemes. GOD turned every foul thing she did to me into as mighty blessing. Praise the LORD!
I don't hear from her much any more. GOD will make your enemies scatter. He will shut their lying mouths. She may be lost but she is not forsaken. She can't hide. Adam and Eve tried to hide their nakedness with fig leaves. When they heard GOD coming they tried to hide from Him in His Garden. You can't hide Martha. All eyes are upon you. Just like you taught me; "GOD sits high and He looks low."
You can't hide from GOD children. GOD knows your every thought. He knows the number of hairs on your head. Don't you ever be fool enough to think you can fool GOD. Don't you ever think you can trade your "good deeds" for you bad deeds. Don't think children are stupid. Some children can remember. No, they are innocent and helpless. You may think you can put your hands on them. You may think that you got away with your evil. You better think again.
If you want to be loved and admired, you better do the right thing. If you want honor, earn it.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn Doster (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
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