"New Found Freedom" feels good! I am here to tell you! I am running around, leaping in the air, screaming, hollering, giggling, laughing, singing, making great plans. "Walking on air, ain't touching ground nowhere!"
If or when GOD takes the "blinders" off the blind, they will come to understand. It is called Free Will, the ability and capacity to think for yourself! That is one skill the enemy doesn't want you to have, Critical Thinking. Intelligence and independence is kryptonite to the evil one.
That evil spirit that controlled the flesh of my "mother" saw that early in me, was jealous and tried to stamp it out. The more "she" did to destroy me, the more it grew.
She is officially dead now. She can't terrorize us any more and I really do forgive her. Every day I understand more and more what the whole "experience" was all about. "Cunning Martha" created a daughter, a sister, a mother that the whole world would love passionately. Unfortunately, that "Martha Dearest", the one that cared, loved and nurtured, never existed. She was a figment of our combined imaginations. The real Martha is revealed in my book, a 62 year study of the effects of unchecked and undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Yes, I suffered mightily when I finally succumbed to the the truth. But I know my suffering would have been much worse if I had continued living that lie, suffering in that hell trying to scrounge out a pitiful existence living in Martha Jane's fantasy land. I suffered far too much for far too long there. I don't regret a moment because I was made strong.
Find your freedom children. Claim it! Stand up for yourself and live your life to the fullest. *"Don't go down in anyone else's ship." I'm not going to hell because you are too blind and stupid to acknowledge GOD's Truth. Know ye the Truth, it will set you free! And Freedom feels good!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
*The Potters House/ Rev. Sammy Williamson
Copyright November 17, 2013 All rights reserved
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
The Just shall live by faith..."
Born poor,black and female; faith is all I ever had. I had a loving grandfather that lived by faith. Never waivered! Not once in 84 years!
I thank GOD for him because he was right. "Jesus will fix it." He told me that over and over for years and years as we struggled as a family trying to "love the hell" out of Martha, Mathy Jane, Mathy, Janie, Martha Jean, Madame Watson, Reverend Watson, Martha Lamoureaux.
I am sitting here in awe, once terrified, now free. I am amazed, astonished, still a little broken and torn. I know one woman that took an entire family down, single handed. Destroyed countless generations.
It took me 58 years to learn that she was truly demon possessed. But, I am praising GOD because I found out in time.
I remember being intrigued by the report of an elderly black "man's" death some years ago. This "man" had lived in this community for quite some time, was married and had "children". The undertaker was shocked to discover the "man"'s "strapon" when he was preparing the body. It seems the dear departed was actually a woman and had been living a lie for decades. This woman lived as a man for 70 plus years, attended church every Sunday, was the church organist! The community was shocked. "His" widow claimed that she was just as shocked, that she didn't know. He was always very modest, she had never seen "him" naked and the children were adopted.
That's how I feel about my "mother". She was just as phony as that "man". Martha Jane Walters lived a complete lie. A cruel lying psychotic pedophile! Just beautiful enough, brilliant enough and charming enough to destroy countless generations.
Of course when I started on this journey of searching for the truth I had no clear idea what a narcissist was. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is very new to me, new to most of the world I imagine. It is a very sad and distressful situation. It is so hard to explain to people why you refuse to have any thing to do with your own mother. Why news of her death failed to produce one tear. If the truth be known, I am actually very relieved.
There is a book that I must read, must promote; "The Narcissism Epidemic" by Keith Campbell, Ph.D.
The world is in a crisis. Psychologists and psychiatrists are scrambling trying to understand this "mental illness".
I am going to read this book because I want to know what the "experts" think. I hurt for the destroyed children and I want this madness to end. But I already know exactly what happened to my mother. Born fast and evil, without a moral compass, a "bad seed". She came here to do what she did, destroy.
She didn't get all of us! Praise the LORD!
Stay in His WORD children. Please read Hebrews 10:38 today. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 15, 2013 All rights reserved
I thank GOD for him because he was right. "Jesus will fix it." He told me that over and over for years and years as we struggled as a family trying to "love the hell" out of Martha, Mathy Jane, Mathy, Janie, Martha Jean, Madame Watson, Reverend Watson, Martha Lamoureaux.
I am sitting here in awe, once terrified, now free. I am amazed, astonished, still a little broken and torn. I know one woman that took an entire family down, single handed. Destroyed countless generations.
It took me 58 years to learn that she was truly demon possessed. But, I am praising GOD because I found out in time.
I remember being intrigued by the report of an elderly black "man's" death some years ago. This "man" had lived in this community for quite some time, was married and had "children". The undertaker was shocked to discover the "man"'s "strapon" when he was preparing the body. It seems the dear departed was actually a woman and had been living a lie for decades. This woman lived as a man for 70 plus years, attended church every Sunday, was the church organist! The community was shocked. "His" widow claimed that she was just as shocked, that she didn't know. He was always very modest, she had never seen "him" naked and the children were adopted.
That's how I feel about my "mother". She was just as phony as that "man". Martha Jane Walters lived a complete lie. A cruel lying psychotic pedophile! Just beautiful enough, brilliant enough and charming enough to destroy countless generations.
Of course when I started on this journey of searching for the truth I had no clear idea what a narcissist was. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is very new to me, new to most of the world I imagine. It is a very sad and distressful situation. It is so hard to explain to people why you refuse to have any thing to do with your own mother. Why news of her death failed to produce one tear. If the truth be known, I am actually very relieved.
There is a book that I must read, must promote; "The Narcissism Epidemic" by Keith Campbell, Ph.D.
The world is in a crisis. Psychologists and psychiatrists are scrambling trying to understand this "mental illness".
I am going to read this book because I want to know what the "experts" think. I hurt for the destroyed children and I want this madness to end. But I already know exactly what happened to my mother. Born fast and evil, without a moral compass, a "bad seed". She came here to do what she did, destroy.
She didn't get all of us! Praise the LORD!
Stay in His WORD children. Please read Hebrews 10:38 today. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 15, 2013 All rights reserved
Monday, November 11, 2013
I assure you, it is not funny...
not in the least. Some call it Stockholm syndrome, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), Evil, mental illness, demon possessed, ignorant, clueless, lost, blind, deaf and dumb. You may be everything I mentioned, but you are not funny.
I know GOD wants the world to know that people like you are possible. You pathetic loser. A sick sadist! B****! You knew you needed help! You knew you were nasty and common! I say if you had sense enough to hide it, you had sense enough to not do it.
You chose to do it! I remember when you went to that psychiatrist when I was eight and came home screaming in denial; " IT AIN'T TRUE!!!!!" You just put on that performance to fool me after you two buzzards raped me. I don't think you even went to a psychiatrist. Who ever heard of a black woman on your ignorant uneducated primitive level seeking help for mental illness in 1959?
Cool, calculated, low down scandalous sociopath. You might be dead, but it is not over. You will be discussed! The world will know about you. The world will know that you were never anything but a sick, jealous, envious, murderous, "root working", trisexual, skinning, and grinning pedophile.
I want you to know they caught two just like you two buzzards recently. The pretty little girl they tortured with the blessing of Atlanta Department of Family and Children's Services was only 10 years old and her terribly abused starved body was found burned and decaying in a trash can.
I guess the world can believe me now. Perhaps my relatives, my brothers will care about me now.
No matter what. I have been delivered from evil and GOD has always been with me. I have always felt His presence. I knew from the womb this fake female thing hated me and fully intended to destroy me on the sly while she pretended to be a lovingly daughter and mother.
I thank GOD she tried to be clandestine, sneaky and slimy. Nothing she did to me ever prospered her anything.
PraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORD!!!!!!!!!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch , JEROME WALTERS)
Copyrights November 11, 2013. All rights reserved.
I know GOD wants the world to know that people like you are possible. You pathetic loser. A sick sadist! B****! You knew you needed help! You knew you were nasty and common! I say if you had sense enough to hide it, you had sense enough to not do it.
You chose to do it! I remember when you went to that psychiatrist when I was eight and came home screaming in denial; " IT AIN'T TRUE!!!!!" You just put on that performance to fool me after you two buzzards raped me. I don't think you even went to a psychiatrist. Who ever heard of a black woman on your ignorant uneducated primitive level seeking help for mental illness in 1959?
Cool, calculated, low down scandalous sociopath. You might be dead, but it is not over. You will be discussed! The world will know about you. The world will know that you were never anything but a sick, jealous, envious, murderous, "root working", trisexual, skinning, and grinning pedophile.
I want you to know they caught two just like you two buzzards recently. The pretty little girl they tortured with the blessing of Atlanta Department of Family and Children's Services was only 10 years old and her terribly abused starved body was found burned and decaying in a trash can.
I guess the world can believe me now. Perhaps my relatives, my brothers will care about me now.
No matter what. I have been delivered from evil and GOD has always been with me. I have always felt His presence. I knew from the womb this fake female thing hated me and fully intended to destroy me on the sly while she pretended to be a lovingly daughter and mother.
I thank GOD she tried to be clandestine, sneaky and slimy. Nothing she did to me ever prospered her anything.
PraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORDPraiseTheLORD!!!!!!!!!
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch , JEROME WALTERS)
Copyrights November 11, 2013. All rights reserved.
Friday, November 8, 2013
A short story from the JR Walters' Chronicles
The art of "story telling" is being lost to video games and reality talk shows. We will pay as a society for cranking out all of these rude, disrespectful, lazy, impish children. Don't tell me what you are doing for "yours". We are all in this together. "No man is an island." A family can spend a fortune on private school and ballet classes. Your precious golden child Christened in the finest Italian lace will have to share a world with street urchins that have been thrown away.
We have an obligation to teach morality! We can't sit back and criticize our youth for their behaviour without making sure they had the opportunity to "live right".
So like all stories, this story is didactic; it teaches a lesson.
*********************************************************************************
"It Just Hit Me..."
snuck up on me like that person with real bad breath. You know that person that comes from out of no where whispering in your ear, talking some smack, and their breath is so bad you first reaction is to run. You rare back on your feet and you can't help making a face that says something died.
Well, today, this day, I was vacuuming, washing clothes, drinking coffee, feeding the cats and it hit me. Straight hit me in the head! One of Martha's cardinal rules was:"Don't you f***** think back n****!"
I knew kids that were disrespectful to their parents, "talked back", slammed doors, screamed things like "I hate you!". Not *"in my mother's house". She let us know early that she was not going to tolerate it. And she wasn't. What ever it took, knife, gun, machete, foul cursing (including "root working") Martha was going to have her way. You were going to lose! "Tell if you want to, ain't nobody gon' believe you. I can't lose for the stuff I use and you can't win for the fix you in! ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Any form of criticism you had against Martha was best kept secret. Don't tell anybody because if word gets back to mother ...you're in for it.
" A n**** rather walk through hell wid a pair of gasoline draws on dan f*** wid me!" ; straight from The Martha Jane Playbook, that changed with the win. One minute honest, loving the LORD and making everybody go to church. Next week sellin "pun-tang" and reading Tarot cards.
I couldn't keep up. Plus, how could I not think? Can you make yourself retarded?
I laugh now because she is finally safely dead. But we were not even allowed to look unhappy or disappointed. Stand up for yourself if you wanted to, you were going to get knocked back down. And the very brothers I was trying to save always turned on me and joined forces with her.
(You demand to think for me!? Really! You never finished college! You standing up here with 6 children and none of us look alike! We look like the f****UN! We represent every color and race there is, from Caucasian white to jet black African pygmy! I am supposed to listen to you!?...take your advice!?")
Any way, it just hit me. How can anyone have the nerve to forbid another person from thinking? Worse, who obeys her? Who really listens to her? Who lets this fool dictate their life? What did she ever do that was so great that any one would wish to emulate? Can you really trust her judgement?
The point of this story is; "Fear NO man!" Fear nothing or no one children. Live right. GOD will bless you. "Jesus will fix it." ;JR Walters.
Stand!Stand Up! Radiate! Go out and conquer the world knowing that Almighty GOD is on your side and you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. "Up ye mighty race, accomplish what you will!" (Marcus Garvey)
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 8, 2013 All rights reserved
We have an obligation to teach morality! We can't sit back and criticize our youth for their behaviour without making sure they had the opportunity to "live right".
So like all stories, this story is didactic; it teaches a lesson.
*********************************************************************************
"It Just Hit Me..."
snuck up on me like that person with real bad breath. You know that person that comes from out of no where whispering in your ear, talking some smack, and their breath is so bad you first reaction is to run. You rare back on your feet and you can't help making a face that says something died.
Well, today, this day, I was vacuuming, washing clothes, drinking coffee, feeding the cats and it hit me. Straight hit me in the head! One of Martha's cardinal rules was:"Don't you f***** think back n****!"
I knew kids that were disrespectful to their parents, "talked back", slammed doors, screamed things like "I hate you!". Not *"in my mother's house". She let us know early that she was not going to tolerate it. And she wasn't. What ever it took, knife, gun, machete, foul cursing (including "root working") Martha was going to have her way. You were going to lose! "Tell if you want to, ain't nobody gon' believe you. I can't lose for the stuff I use and you can't win for the fix you in! ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Any form of criticism you had against Martha was best kept secret. Don't tell anybody because if word gets back to mother ...you're in for it.
" A n**** rather walk through hell wid a pair of gasoline draws on dan f*** wid me!" ; straight from The Martha Jane Playbook, that changed with the win. One minute honest, loving the LORD and making everybody go to church. Next week sellin "pun-tang" and reading Tarot cards.
I couldn't keep up. Plus, how could I not think? Can you make yourself retarded?
I laugh now because she is finally safely dead. But we were not even allowed to look unhappy or disappointed. Stand up for yourself if you wanted to, you were going to get knocked back down. And the very brothers I was trying to save always turned on me and joined forces with her.
(You demand to think for me!? Really! You never finished college! You standing up here with 6 children and none of us look alike! We look like the f****UN! We represent every color and race there is, from Caucasian white to jet black African pygmy! I am supposed to listen to you!?...take your advice!?")
Any way, it just hit me. How can anyone have the nerve to forbid another person from thinking? Worse, who obeys her? Who really listens to her? Who lets this fool dictate their life? What did she ever do that was so great that any one would wish to emulate? Can you really trust her judgement?
The point of this story is; "Fear NO man!" Fear nothing or no one children. Live right. GOD will bless you. "Jesus will fix it." ;JR Walters.
Stand!Stand Up! Radiate! Go out and conquer the world knowing that Almighty GOD is on your side and you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. "Up ye mighty race, accomplish what you will!" (Marcus Garvey)
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 8, 2013 All rights reserved
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Another little brown baby ...
gone too soon. We always say that; someone is gone too soon. How do we know? We don't know GOD's plan. I know that a little brown girl, ten years old was found dead in a trash can. Found in her apartment complex badly burned.
Of course I am saddened by her death. We all are diminished. I am just as culpable as the rest of the world. I retired from and industry that does more to ruin children than educate them. I was labeled a lunatic by this wrong world a long time ago. A weak voice crying in the wilderness. I just happen to be black and female. My years ago a white man told me my problem was that I didn't know my place. I was so glad to tell him; "My place is where I say it is!"
You become very hostile and driven when your mother is a fourteen year old (mentally) nut case working in tandem with satan.
I turned the channel and there was Stephenson High school, the school I retired from, on the news; "Football Player shot in parking lot". You know the media had to focus on the scant number of parents attending the called PTSA meeting.
Is it true? Could it be that black parents don't love their children like they should? I'm black. I couldn't have found a worse mother if I tried for ten millenniums. Thank GOD for her "sneakiness". I am so glad she felt compelled to treat me well on occasion in order to carry out her diabolical plan. I say plan. She never had a plan. The simple imp committed her wickedness "willy nilly", "hit and miss", "Ham scammy". "Destroy as much as you can when you can. Throw a rock and hide your hand. Get your jollys from torturing children and the elderly. You'll never get caught. The world will never suspect you. You got this "goofer dust" and you are an ordained minster! N**** you can't lose for the stuff you use. Them n***** can't win for the fix their in!"
Poor Martha, you had a head like a rock and a stiffneck. Bull headed, strong as an ox and as slippery and slimy as a snake. I am at a lost because I saw you read your Bible every day. I heard you preach. You could preach!
As GOD is my witness I intend to save as many innocent children as I can. We can NOT sit silently, watch our children suffer at the hands of monsters. Please bow today and take the time to pray for OUR children, ALL children, black, white, yellow, red and brown.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 6, 2013 All rights reserved
Of course I am saddened by her death. We all are diminished. I am just as culpable as the rest of the world. I retired from and industry that does more to ruin children than educate them. I was labeled a lunatic by this wrong world a long time ago. A weak voice crying in the wilderness. I just happen to be black and female. My years ago a white man told me my problem was that I didn't know my place. I was so glad to tell him; "My place is where I say it is!"
You become very hostile and driven when your mother is a fourteen year old (mentally) nut case working in tandem with satan.
I turned the channel and there was Stephenson High school, the school I retired from, on the news; "Football Player shot in parking lot". You know the media had to focus on the scant number of parents attending the called PTSA meeting.
Is it true? Could it be that black parents don't love their children like they should? I'm black. I couldn't have found a worse mother if I tried for ten millenniums. Thank GOD for her "sneakiness". I am so glad she felt compelled to treat me well on occasion in order to carry out her diabolical plan. I say plan. She never had a plan. The simple imp committed her wickedness "willy nilly", "hit and miss", "Ham scammy". "Destroy as much as you can when you can. Throw a rock and hide your hand. Get your jollys from torturing children and the elderly. You'll never get caught. The world will never suspect you. You got this "goofer dust" and you are an ordained minster! N**** you can't lose for the stuff you use. Them n***** can't win for the fix their in!"
Poor Martha, you had a head like a rock and a stiffneck. Bull headed, strong as an ox and as slippery and slimy as a snake. I am at a lost because I saw you read your Bible every day. I heard you preach. You could preach!
As GOD is my witness I intend to save as many innocent children as I can. We can NOT sit silently, watch our children suffer at the hands of monsters. Please bow today and take the time to pray for OUR children, ALL children, black, white, yellow, red and brown.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 6, 2013 All rights reserved
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
"On the wings of a dove ...
He sent His pure sweet love." ( I hope those are the words. ) I am singing them anyway. I break out and do a Holy Ghost dance about three or four times a day. Sometimes I just melt down into a heap crying and praising GOD.
Out of all the people on this earth that GOD could have delivered, loved and protected, He chose me! We are all saved by Grace. But, we have to want it. We have to be brave enough to claim it . Most of all we have to be patient enough to wait on it, to know it is coming.
I am starting to claim my freedom. I am finally getting over the heartbreak she caused me. I don't have to hope and pray anymore. She is never going to love me, never going to apologize. I am glad she finally settled that question.
"Don't piss on my grave when I'm DEAD!!!"; she screamed. Those are the last words I heard from my mother. That makes sense. My mother was never Beaver Clever's mother. She never sweetly sang; "Good morning children, time to get up."
The point is, no matter how I got up, I got up, went to school, studied hard and made something out of myself. No, I didn't know that my own mother was a psycho imp straight from the bowels of hell. I have reduced her to imp because "demon" would be a step up. She would have had money if she had been a demon. She would have picked on people other than her loving immediate family if she had been a demon.
She was a coward! A sniveling low crawling piece of vermin! Picking on children! Innocent little children and the elderly. My Lord! My Lord! "Some vessels for honor and some for dis-honor."
I do appreciate you. What if I had had a "normal" life? Would I love GOD the way I do? Would I trust Him with the unshakable faith I have? Without you I never would have had granddaddy. I am going to tell you something that I should have told you while you were living. Having Jerome Walters as my grandfather, my mentor, my savior, my cheerleader, my champion was well worth the misery you caused me.
Children, I just have one warning for you. Say away from witchcraft, the occult, horoscopes, tarot cards. Stay away from all that "crap". It is for, satan. It is evil. You will rue the day.
Stay in His WORD. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 5, 2013 All rights reserved.
Out of all the people on this earth that GOD could have delivered, loved and protected, He chose me! We are all saved by Grace. But, we have to want it. We have to be brave enough to claim it . Most of all we have to be patient enough to wait on it, to know it is coming.
I am starting to claim my freedom. I am finally getting over the heartbreak she caused me. I don't have to hope and pray anymore. She is never going to love me, never going to apologize. I am glad she finally settled that question.
"Don't piss on my grave when I'm DEAD!!!"; she screamed. Those are the last words I heard from my mother. That makes sense. My mother was never Beaver Clever's mother. She never sweetly sang; "Good morning children, time to get up."
The point is, no matter how I got up, I got up, went to school, studied hard and made something out of myself. No, I didn't know that my own mother was a psycho imp straight from the bowels of hell. I have reduced her to imp because "demon" would be a step up. She would have had money if she had been a demon. She would have picked on people other than her loving immediate family if she had been a demon.
She was a coward! A sniveling low crawling piece of vermin! Picking on children! Innocent little children and the elderly. My Lord! My Lord! "Some vessels for honor and some for dis-honor."
I do appreciate you. What if I had had a "normal" life? Would I love GOD the way I do? Would I trust Him with the unshakable faith I have? Without you I never would have had granddaddy. I am going to tell you something that I should have told you while you were living. Having Jerome Walters as my grandfather, my mentor, my savior, my cheerleader, my champion was well worth the misery you caused me.
Children, I just have one warning for you. Say away from witchcraft, the occult, horoscopes, tarot cards. Stay away from all that "crap". It is for, satan. It is evil. You will rue the day.
Stay in His WORD. Remember; "Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 5, 2013 All rights reserved.
Monday, November 4, 2013
"He keeps a ram in the bushes"
She was a true prostitute, "the world's oldest profession", with a pimp's mentality. Iceberg Slim had nothing on my mother. She could have taught him a thing or two. We were never anything more than "Johns" and tricks to her. Fodder for her narcissistic supply.
I once read an article blaming the narcissist's mother for NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). I am now affiliated with two organizations that attempt to educate victims and the public concerning the issue of child abuse. I had to laugh yesterday. For some reason I recalled the "Grits and Grease" episode. The time she came home with a huge industrial sack of grits. The bag was so huge it stood tall in the pantry on its on, like some kind of monster rearing up on its hind legs. The grits were accompanied by a huge side of pork belly. Fat-back if you will. As my brothers placed the "rations" in the tiny kitchen closet called a pantry she loudly proclaimed; "" I keep yo' muthaf******* a**holes open! I'll let yo' f****** a**holes close up!!! From now on I'm feeding you n****** nuttin' but grits and grease!" And that is exactly what she did. Grits and grease was all we had to eat for months.
I laughed aloud when I recalled that I was 14 years old, tiny and fragile as a sparrow. I would walk to the refrigerator, humble myself by bending over scouring, searching that refrigerator for some food. Nothing! Nothing but a bright light bulb and a withered onion. I would walk away, stomach growling, sorry it was the week-end and I could not get any school food. I would walk slowly back to my room, read a book or watch tv, pray to get "grown".
Not once did I blame my mother. I totally agreed with her. We were nothing but a bunch of "sorry a** black a** n*****, not worth a f***." She didn't have to have us. She could have given us away. (Like she did me) She could have flushed us down the toilet like she did "dem other muthaf*****". We were black, we were n*****, we were sorry, worthless, bastards, a pain in the a**. We ruined our beautiful "light bright and damn near white" mother's life. She could have been a model, a famous actress, a lawyer or doctor if it hadn't been for our sorry black a*** and our sorry a** daddies! " N***** didn't live up to their responsibility." All those horrible "a n***** ain't s***" men took advantage of our naive innocent mother. They abandoned her after tricking her into an unwanted pregnancy, then suddenly abandoned her.
My mother could be so kind sometimes. No, she only bought groceries once a month but she taught me how to make a "Jew sandwich"; a butter and sugar sandwich. I discovered mayonnaise and mustard sandwiches on my own. Sometimes it would be cornmeal mush fried, split open and filled with syrup and margerine. (enough of that)
Well let me tell you how good GOD is! For over 60 years I didn't know "know". I knew but I didn't comprehend. I kept all of the sadistic torturous "acts" and episodes separate. No matter what she did to me I couldn't get it. Believe it or not I never knew she secretly hated me, secretly hated all of us. She was clever and she would have gone to her grave a celebrated hero if she hadn't murdered her father and sent me that letter smeared in her fecal matter.
There was satan setting right under my nose, eating and sleeping with me, declaring my mother's love. How could I know that my mother wasn't there? Mathy Jane had left that body, surrendered her soul years before I was ever thought about.
Children, when you fall low enough, are so stuck on stupid that you believe that some dirt off of a murdered man's grave will give you power, you have hit rock bottom. You are truly the most ignorant person on the earth. You are lower that whale dung. May the Dear LORD have mercy on your poor ignorant soul.
I came to brag. This blog is my platform for bragging. No you didn't get me! True, it was nothing that I did. I can not take credit for escaping you. It was truly the LORD Jesus Christ. GOD revealed you to me in the womb! Praise the LORD!
No, you never liked me. I hope you noticed that I never liked you either. Yes, you lived to be 87 years old but your sick evil mind never matured emotionally past 14. You pretended to love GOD when you could have loved GOD. But you knew if you loved GOD you would have to curtail your evil ways and that is something you never wanted to do. You would have to give up your delicious carnal pleasure. And you were so afraid some one would out do you. Get more recognition than you, more honor, have more money, have a good name, go to Heaven, live eternally in peace.
You hated peace. That's why you cursed all day! Screaming vulgar filth for hours and hours, cursing until sleep overtook you. ( You were trying to get me to run away weren't you? Didn't work.) Your actions made me study. There was no way I was going to remain in your house five minutes longer than I had to.
Yes, I am exposing you. I am trying to save the people you led astray. I want to reach that person walking around with "goofer dust" in their pocket. I want to reach that woman you taught to use her body like an ATM machine.
I just want you to know that I am healing. No, you never said you were sorry, never apologized for anything you ever did. Yes, I caught you in "mid conjure", trying to destroy my life again. You were 82 years old and an ordained minister! Where did you go wrong? Hiding behind the "Cross", making me go to church every Sunday, making me memorize scripture. I discovered something you never realized. HE lives! My Redeemer lives!
Children, there is nothing you can do that GOD is not quick to forgive. Yes, even in the last hour you can come into the Kingdom. I hope you made it in.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 4, 2013 All rights reserved
I once read an article blaming the narcissist's mother for NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). I am now affiliated with two organizations that attempt to educate victims and the public concerning the issue of child abuse. I had to laugh yesterday. For some reason I recalled the "Grits and Grease" episode. The time she came home with a huge industrial sack of grits. The bag was so huge it stood tall in the pantry on its on, like some kind of monster rearing up on its hind legs. The grits were accompanied by a huge side of pork belly. Fat-back if you will. As my brothers placed the "rations" in the tiny kitchen closet called a pantry she loudly proclaimed; "" I keep yo' muthaf******* a**holes open! I'll let yo' f****** a**holes close up!!! From now on I'm feeding you n****** nuttin' but grits and grease!" And that is exactly what she did. Grits and grease was all we had to eat for months.
I laughed aloud when I recalled that I was 14 years old, tiny and fragile as a sparrow. I would walk to the refrigerator, humble myself by bending over scouring, searching that refrigerator for some food. Nothing! Nothing but a bright light bulb and a withered onion. I would walk away, stomach growling, sorry it was the week-end and I could not get any school food. I would walk slowly back to my room, read a book or watch tv, pray to get "grown".
Not once did I blame my mother. I totally agreed with her. We were nothing but a bunch of "sorry a** black a** n*****, not worth a f***." She didn't have to have us. She could have given us away. (Like she did me) She could have flushed us down the toilet like she did "dem other muthaf*****". We were black, we were n*****, we were sorry, worthless, bastards, a pain in the a**. We ruined our beautiful "light bright and damn near white" mother's life. She could have been a model, a famous actress, a lawyer or doctor if it hadn't been for our sorry black a*** and our sorry a** daddies! " N***** didn't live up to their responsibility." All those horrible "a n***** ain't s***" men took advantage of our naive innocent mother. They abandoned her after tricking her into an unwanted pregnancy, then suddenly abandoned her.
My mother could be so kind sometimes. No, she only bought groceries once a month but she taught me how to make a "Jew sandwich"; a butter and sugar sandwich. I discovered mayonnaise and mustard sandwiches on my own. Sometimes it would be cornmeal mush fried, split open and filled with syrup and margerine. (enough of that)
Well let me tell you how good GOD is! For over 60 years I didn't know "know". I knew but I didn't comprehend. I kept all of the sadistic torturous "acts" and episodes separate. No matter what she did to me I couldn't get it. Believe it or not I never knew she secretly hated me, secretly hated all of us. She was clever and she would have gone to her grave a celebrated hero if she hadn't murdered her father and sent me that letter smeared in her fecal matter.
There was satan setting right under my nose, eating and sleeping with me, declaring my mother's love. How could I know that my mother wasn't there? Mathy Jane had left that body, surrendered her soul years before I was ever thought about.
Children, when you fall low enough, are so stuck on stupid that you believe that some dirt off of a murdered man's grave will give you power, you have hit rock bottom. You are truly the most ignorant person on the earth. You are lower that whale dung. May the Dear LORD have mercy on your poor ignorant soul.
I came to brag. This blog is my platform for bragging. No you didn't get me! True, it was nothing that I did. I can not take credit for escaping you. It was truly the LORD Jesus Christ. GOD revealed you to me in the womb! Praise the LORD!
No, you never liked me. I hope you noticed that I never liked you either. Yes, you lived to be 87 years old but your sick evil mind never matured emotionally past 14. You pretended to love GOD when you could have loved GOD. But you knew if you loved GOD you would have to curtail your evil ways and that is something you never wanted to do. You would have to give up your delicious carnal pleasure. And you were so afraid some one would out do you. Get more recognition than you, more honor, have more money, have a good name, go to Heaven, live eternally in peace.
You hated peace. That's why you cursed all day! Screaming vulgar filth for hours and hours, cursing until sleep overtook you. ( You were trying to get me to run away weren't you? Didn't work.) Your actions made me study. There was no way I was going to remain in your house five minutes longer than I had to.
Yes, I am exposing you. I am trying to save the people you led astray. I want to reach that person walking around with "goofer dust" in their pocket. I want to reach that woman you taught to use her body like an ATM machine.
I just want you to know that I am healing. No, you never said you were sorry, never apologized for anything you ever did. Yes, I caught you in "mid conjure", trying to destroy my life again. You were 82 years old and an ordained minister! Where did you go wrong? Hiding behind the "Cross", making me go to church every Sunday, making me memorize scripture. I discovered something you never realized. HE lives! My Redeemer lives!
Children, there is nothing you can do that GOD is not quick to forgive. Yes, even in the last hour you can come into the Kingdom. I hope you made it in.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ we are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Copyright November 4, 2013 All rights reserved
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