Some say never look back. There are some people that only look back. I'm looking back today because it is the last day of the year. I'm looking back to glorify GOD and to thank Him for where He brought me from. Praise the LORD! I was once a little black unwanted bastard. My mother claims that my first "crib" was a dresser drawer with a pillow in it. That she gave me away. Gave me to a lesbian madame that ran a whore house. My grandmother intervened and made her go get me.
Reclaimed by my grandparents that loved and nurtured me for four years. Poor misguided lost Martha came and got me. Some how I survived the fool. I now know that she is a bipolar, narcissistic, psychotic sociopath.
I subscribe to a blog; Blog.TheNarcissistinyourlife.com. Her column for December 27, 2012 struck me like a thunder bolt. "Some narcissists remind me of carnivorous creatures who are called ambush predators. They ingeniously use camouflage to blend into the environment. The stone fish lies on the ocean floor and looks like a rock. Fish swim too close by him and are bitten and inflicted with deadly toxins."
"The narcissist is filled with psychological toxins that are dangerous to everyone, especially those who are vulnerable to (her) charm, grandiose promises, fulfillment of old dreams of being adored and taken care of..."
I was awe struck. She described my whole life. It is as if she lived with me. GOD rescued me. The saddest fact of all is that there are so many people on this earth just like her. Demons are crawling on GOD's earth. Hold up! There is Good News! GOD will never leave or forsake you. He will destroy that yoke. He promised. He did it for me and He will do it for you.
My pastor didn't know it but his sermon was designed for me yesterday. "The Yoke is going to be broken and taken." Isaiah 10: 24-27. I felt GOD take my yoke, my burden in the moment my pastor read that scripture.
GOD does not want us sad, beleaguered, beaten down because our loved ones are reprehensible. Pray for them, move on. Live your life. Rejoice in GOD's Truth, in His anointing.
"If you don't want to go, don't hinder me." Praise the LORD children! Look back over your life and thank GOD for bringing your over. Let GOD bring you over into a New Year, a new life. Be filled with His goodness, forgiveness. Be filled with the Holy Ghost!
Have a Happy New Year!
Rachel Gwendolyn
Monday, December 31, 2012
2 Chronicles 7:14
"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."
"If my people", GOD's people. Whose "people" are you? Who do you serve? Are you walking around with a little bag of "goofer dust" in your bra, in your wallet? Do you practice a little "voodoo" just in case? Where did you learn that ignorance? Is it something left over from slavery? Are you ashamed to let your church know that you do it? Do you constantly lie to keep folks "out'cha bizness"? Is it a family secret?
We call ourselves children of GOD. We claim to serve Him. We repeat scripture, testify of His goodness, attend church regularly. We pray to Him, beg Him for blessings and protection. But some of us carry some deep dark not so secret secrets. Some of us enjoy threatening our children and family members with the occult. Some of us still practice "it" when we feel wronged or jealous.
You wasted your time, forfeited your blessing, made a fool of your greedy ignorant self.
If you are a child of GOD, say so and mean it. You don't need trappings (gold crosses and fine robes) to prove it. You don't need titles, Bishop, Prophet or Prophetess, Reverend and the like. If you are a good person filled with the Holy Ghost people will know. Your anointing will radiate, you will beam.
If you truly want GOD's anointing, humble yourself. Pray, ask for it and live right. Do what's right. Do what GOD planted in your heart.
Trust GOD! Repent of your sins. Admit that you have been stupid, purely wicked. "Go and sin no more".
GOD will forgive your sins. GOD will heal you. He will heal all of those that you wounded.
Take this TRUTH into the New Year:
#1 There is nothing too hard for GOD.
#2 GOD loves us unconditionally. GOD loves YOU!
#3 Lying and denying will never get you to the truth or bring you peace.
#4 "There is a balm in Gilead to heal the broken heart". Go get that balm. Get on your knees, go into your secret closet, pray and fast. Repent of your sins. GOD has forgiven you, forgive yourself.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace,Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn X (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
"If my people", GOD's people. Whose "people" are you? Who do you serve? Are you walking around with a little bag of "goofer dust" in your bra, in your wallet? Do you practice a little "voodoo" just in case? Where did you learn that ignorance? Is it something left over from slavery? Are you ashamed to let your church know that you do it? Do you constantly lie to keep folks "out'cha bizness"? Is it a family secret?
We call ourselves children of GOD. We claim to serve Him. We repeat scripture, testify of His goodness, attend church regularly. We pray to Him, beg Him for blessings and protection. But some of us carry some deep dark not so secret secrets. Some of us enjoy threatening our children and family members with the occult. Some of us still practice "it" when we feel wronged or jealous.
You wasted your time, forfeited your blessing, made a fool of your greedy ignorant self.
If you are a child of GOD, say so and mean it. You don't need trappings (gold crosses and fine robes) to prove it. You don't need titles, Bishop, Prophet or Prophetess, Reverend and the like. If you are a good person filled with the Holy Ghost people will know. Your anointing will radiate, you will beam.
If you truly want GOD's anointing, humble yourself. Pray, ask for it and live right. Do what's right. Do what GOD planted in your heart.
Trust GOD! Repent of your sins. Admit that you have been stupid, purely wicked. "Go and sin no more".
GOD will forgive your sins. GOD will heal you. He will heal all of those that you wounded.
Take this TRUTH into the New Year:
#1 There is nothing too hard for GOD.
#2 GOD loves us unconditionally. GOD loves YOU!
#3 Lying and denying will never get you to the truth or bring you peace.
#4 "There is a balm in Gilead to heal the broken heart". Go get that balm. Get on your knees, go into your secret closet, pray and fast. Repent of your sins. GOD has forgiven you, forgive yourself.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace,Mercy and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn X (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Friday, December 28, 2012
Pride!
"Pride goeth before a fall." What is "pride"? Thinking too much of yourself. Pure selfishness. The inability to love or care for anyone else. Pride is rage. Tyrannical anger with anyone that refuses to bow down to you. Hating anyone that can see your flaws and has the courage to tell you. Despising people intelligent enough to see through your gross mind boggling ignorance.
"What's done in duh past is in duh past!...I can't do nuttin' to change it!...fo'git it!"
Yes there is something you can do. You can say you are sorry. You can repent. You can quit lying and back peddling. You can quit blaming others for your miserable life.
You can give your life to Christ for real. You can apologize. You can release your many victims from the hell you deliberately hold them hostage in.
You can quit being prisoner to your past. You can quit lying and pretending that you didn't do all of the awful things you did.
Quit lying and denying. Embrace GOD and His marvelous Truth.
I'm not going to hell for you. I'm not going to lie for you. I'm not going to dress up your miserable life and make excuses for you. I will not accept blame for your weakness and lust.
There are two people on this earth you should have stirred clear of; Jerome Walters and Me if you wanted to live and die as a miserable reprobate. Since you didn't, the best you can do is pray and ask GOD to forgive you. You know He will. You know that there is nothing too hard for GOD.
You're not ashamed to come clean. If you weren't ashamed to do it you certainly aren't ashamed to admit it. You just have too much pride. You still have too much hatred and jealousy in your heart.
I'm not wiping your slate clean. I'm not putting it in the "sea of forgetfulness". If you want me to shut up, to quit talking. You are going to have to repent. You owe me an apology.
"What's done in duh past is in duh past!...I can't do nuttin' to change it!...fo'git it!"
Yes there is something you can do. You can say you are sorry. You can repent. You can quit lying and back peddling. You can quit blaming others for your miserable life.
You can give your life to Christ for real. You can apologize. You can release your many victims from the hell you deliberately hold them hostage in.
You can quit being prisoner to your past. You can quit lying and pretending that you didn't do all of the awful things you did.
Quit lying and denying. Embrace GOD and His marvelous Truth.
I'm not going to hell for you. I'm not going to lie for you. I'm not going to dress up your miserable life and make excuses for you. I will not accept blame for your weakness and lust.
There are two people on this earth you should have stirred clear of; Jerome Walters and Me if you wanted to live and die as a miserable reprobate. Since you didn't, the best you can do is pray and ask GOD to forgive you. You know He will. You know that there is nothing too hard for GOD.
You're not ashamed to come clean. If you weren't ashamed to do it you certainly aren't ashamed to admit it. You just have too much pride. You still have too much hatred and jealousy in your heart.
I'm not wiping your slate clean. I'm not putting it in the "sea of forgetfulness". If you want me to shut up, to quit talking. You are going to have to repent. You owe me an apology.
Praise The LORD!
I'm setting here in my fine home, in my office, on my computer, just as happy and blessed as a person can be. My beautiful daughter is down stairs writing another screen play. Praise the LORD! Hallelujah!
Dear LORD I am humbled by your goodness and mercy. To quote my brother; "I'm due to be dead." The Dear LORD rescued me, delivered me from one of the greatest diabolical minds ever known to mankind.
Can you imagine being a little girl listening to your mother bragging about how many "luddle black nuthaf******" she flushed down the toilet? The implication being you should be glad that she had mercy on you and let you live. Even if you were too black and your nose was too "niggerish" or your hair wasn't straight enough.
What if you grew up watching brutal beatings and stabbings? What if you had to listen so some crazy psychotic woman braying and hollering foul vulgar cursing at the top of her lungs all day until sleep over took her?
Fear! Fear and feigned Christianity was all she gave us. No she wasn't a raving maniac all of the time. She managed to keep a job, retired from the Civil Service. Worked part time jobs as a sales clerk. Some how manged to acquire a license to preach.
A psychotic violent MURDERING fool just the same. Why my relatives uphold her and pretend they don't know, I don't know. I guess it's the shame, habit or deep denial. You can be so beaten down by a vicious tyrant that you give up. There is no point in escape.
What's the point? You are already ruined psychologically. You are fragile and can't live in the real world. Just stay with this b**** and wait for her to die. After all how long can it be?
Plus who has the courage to face this truth? Your mother is a nasty psychotic pedophile? A MURDERING sociopath! A hovering interfering dream destroying nymphomaniac freak!
"GOD don't put no mo' on you than you can bear." So they said. No one ever helped us. They all just walked away shaking their heads and offering their prayers. Some laughing, glad that it wasn't them.
No I don't have to live with her. Her long arm of treachery and abuse can no longer reach me. I can't help but be jubilant, over joyed, praising the LORD.
I pray to GOD that no other family has such a "mother" or knows such a person. I do believe GOD is patiently waiting for her to confess, to repent, to give her life to Him.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy, and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn X (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Dear LORD I am humbled by your goodness and mercy. To quote my brother; "I'm due to be dead." The Dear LORD rescued me, delivered me from one of the greatest diabolical minds ever known to mankind.
Can you imagine being a little girl listening to your mother bragging about how many "luddle black nuthaf******" she flushed down the toilet? The implication being you should be glad that she had mercy on you and let you live. Even if you were too black and your nose was too "niggerish" or your hair wasn't straight enough.
What if you grew up watching brutal beatings and stabbings? What if you had to listen so some crazy psychotic woman braying and hollering foul vulgar cursing at the top of her lungs all day until sleep over took her?
Fear! Fear and feigned Christianity was all she gave us. No she wasn't a raving maniac all of the time. She managed to keep a job, retired from the Civil Service. Worked part time jobs as a sales clerk. Some how manged to acquire a license to preach.
A psychotic violent MURDERING fool just the same. Why my relatives uphold her and pretend they don't know, I don't know. I guess it's the shame, habit or deep denial. You can be so beaten down by a vicious tyrant that you give up. There is no point in escape.
What's the point? You are already ruined psychologically. You are fragile and can't live in the real world. Just stay with this b**** and wait for her to die. After all how long can it be?
Plus who has the courage to face this truth? Your mother is a nasty psychotic pedophile? A MURDERING sociopath! A hovering interfering dream destroying nymphomaniac freak!
"GOD don't put no mo' on you than you can bear." So they said. No one ever helped us. They all just walked away shaking their heads and offering their prayers. Some laughing, glad that it wasn't them.
No I don't have to live with her. Her long arm of treachery and abuse can no longer reach me. I can't help but be jubilant, over joyed, praising the LORD.
I pray to GOD that no other family has such a "mother" or knows such a person. I do believe GOD is patiently waiting for her to confess, to repent, to give her life to Him.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy, and Truth engulf you, cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn X (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
"I rekon so"
I love words, I collect them. I am an intense listener and I have a brilliant memory for some things. My grandfather frequently responded with a simple; "I reckon so." when quizzed about something. Some people dismissed that response as ignorant, "country" or uneducated.
In actuality it was the best response. It indicated that he needed time to ponder your question. Granddaddy would never steer you wrong. All of his answers were seasoned with wisdom and understanding. He was Christ like. He was full of godly wisdom that he was glad to generously share.
He certainly taught me the Bible, encouraged me to read and interpret it at as soon as I could read. I remember proudly reading scripture from the pulpit at age seven. I heard the WORD, understood the WORD.
"If any man be in Christ he is a new creature." Repeating that scripture doesn't make it so. "Be not deceived for GOD is not mocked. What soever a man soweth, that also shall he reap."
GOD is not MOCKED! You can't fool GOD. He doesn't have the mind of man. GOD is not impressed with your church going, tithing and faked fawning "honor". GOD knows your heart and you know it. There is no point in your getting heated, over come with anger and spewing vitriolic lies and insults in an attempt to hide your true self.
Just how are you going to get up in a pulpit, put on a performance, punctuating your sermons with just the right cadence, performing with the organist backing you up, hollering and declaring what a good GOD we serve. Praising and thanking GOD while not meaning one single word.
You don't mean it because you don't believe it. You don't believe it because you are a woman of little faith. You can't believe in GOD's inspired WORD but you are deceitful enough to try to use the faith of others to hide your filthy life. GOD told you that you were going to REAP what you sowed. You didn't believe so you did it anyway. Frantic and scared out of your mind by the filth you carried you turned to voodoo.
Are you a complete fool? You can go down on your knees on a murdered man's grave gathering "graveyard dirt" but you can't get on your knees and humble yourself to GOD and repent of your sins. You would rather try to continue bullying and terrorizing me. You would rather trick, lie and manipulate. You can't scrub my mind. You can't erase my memory. You were one nasty s***. The hot soapy enemas, the rapes, the beatings, all that torture while pretending to be sweet and saved. Mad, angry as hell because no decent man every wanted you. Mad because you had to marry someone too short and too black.
You are REAPING! Good enough for you. You ran a muck. You, one woman are responsible for so much pain that few in this world will ever believe me. Few people can comprehend how one woman can be such a devastating whore.
I figured you out. That was real clever. Getting us involved in sick evil early in life, while we were still children. Convinced us that it was our fault, that we were fractured, bent like you. You were right to believe that we would be too embarrassed, too ashamed to tell. You were right to think that we would turn to drugs or drink and live cowering before you.
Too bad you didn't count on GOD's WORD being the infallible Truth. Now you are cold busted, a stank evil corrupt incestuous MURDEROUS evil root working witch. A clown preacher running around in an old Cadillac still trying to ruin people. Still falsely believing you have power. You never had any power. You were a vicious tyrant that instilled incredible fear in her tiny little children then deliberately held them hostage in her prison for her sadistic delight.
You are right to brag that the world will never forget you. You will not be remembered as the saintly preaching woman that loved everybody. You are exposed for being the sickest " ignorantest" " lyingest " murdering perverted pedophile that ever lived .
All because you were selfish. All because you had to let your lust lead you. All because you thought you were smarter than GOD, smarter than your father.
No it is not too late. You can still come into the kingdom. You have to come clean. You have to confess. You can talk until you're blue in the face. You know I know you. Too bad you had to hit me one more lick. You just had to enjoy torturing me one more time.
I was eight years old when you two buzzards raped me. I told you I was going to tell it. You said; "You ain't gon' NEVAH tell S***!"
Horrified I endured. Suffered and cried every day of my life. I tried to live in denial. You would not let me. You just had to rip me open one more time.
I do feel sorry for you. I am not ashamed. I am glorified. It does hurt me to know that any woman could be as selfish and cruel as you are. Your stupidity and stubbornness is mind numbing.
GOD is still throwing out His life line. I hope and pray that you and my lost relatives will grab it.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
Rachel Gwendolyn X (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
In actuality it was the best response. It indicated that he needed time to ponder your question. Granddaddy would never steer you wrong. All of his answers were seasoned with wisdom and understanding. He was Christ like. He was full of godly wisdom that he was glad to generously share.
He certainly taught me the Bible, encouraged me to read and interpret it at as soon as I could read. I remember proudly reading scripture from the pulpit at age seven. I heard the WORD, understood the WORD.
"If any man be in Christ he is a new creature." Repeating that scripture doesn't make it so. "Be not deceived for GOD is not mocked. What soever a man soweth, that also shall he reap."
GOD is not MOCKED! You can't fool GOD. He doesn't have the mind of man. GOD is not impressed with your church going, tithing and faked fawning "honor". GOD knows your heart and you know it. There is no point in your getting heated, over come with anger and spewing vitriolic lies and insults in an attempt to hide your true self.
Just how are you going to get up in a pulpit, put on a performance, punctuating your sermons with just the right cadence, performing with the organist backing you up, hollering and declaring what a good GOD we serve. Praising and thanking GOD while not meaning one single word.
You don't mean it because you don't believe it. You don't believe it because you are a woman of little faith. You can't believe in GOD's inspired WORD but you are deceitful enough to try to use the faith of others to hide your filthy life. GOD told you that you were going to REAP what you sowed. You didn't believe so you did it anyway. Frantic and scared out of your mind by the filth you carried you turned to voodoo.
Are you a complete fool? You can go down on your knees on a murdered man's grave gathering "graveyard dirt" but you can't get on your knees and humble yourself to GOD and repent of your sins. You would rather try to continue bullying and terrorizing me. You would rather trick, lie and manipulate. You can't scrub my mind. You can't erase my memory. You were one nasty s***. The hot soapy enemas, the rapes, the beatings, all that torture while pretending to be sweet and saved. Mad, angry as hell because no decent man every wanted you. Mad because you had to marry someone too short and too black.
You are REAPING! Good enough for you. You ran a muck. You, one woman are responsible for so much pain that few in this world will ever believe me. Few people can comprehend how one woman can be such a devastating whore.
I figured you out. That was real clever. Getting us involved in sick evil early in life, while we were still children. Convinced us that it was our fault, that we were fractured, bent like you. You were right to believe that we would be too embarrassed, too ashamed to tell. You were right to think that we would turn to drugs or drink and live cowering before you.
Too bad you didn't count on GOD's WORD being the infallible Truth. Now you are cold busted, a stank evil corrupt incestuous MURDEROUS evil root working witch. A clown preacher running around in an old Cadillac still trying to ruin people. Still falsely believing you have power. You never had any power. You were a vicious tyrant that instilled incredible fear in her tiny little children then deliberately held them hostage in her prison for her sadistic delight.
You are right to brag that the world will never forget you. You will not be remembered as the saintly preaching woman that loved everybody. You are exposed for being the sickest " ignorantest" " lyingest " murdering perverted pedophile that ever lived .
All because you were selfish. All because you had to let your lust lead you. All because you thought you were smarter than GOD, smarter than your father.
No it is not too late. You can still come into the kingdom. You have to come clean. You have to confess. You can talk until you're blue in the face. You know I know you. Too bad you had to hit me one more lick. You just had to enjoy torturing me one more time.
I was eight years old when you two buzzards raped me. I told you I was going to tell it. You said; "You ain't gon' NEVAH tell S***!"
Horrified I endured. Suffered and cried every day of my life. I tried to live in denial. You would not let me. You just had to rip me open one more time.
I do feel sorry for you. I am not ashamed. I am glorified. It does hurt me to know that any woman could be as selfish and cruel as you are. Your stupidity and stubbornness is mind numbing.
GOD is still throwing out His life line. I hope and pray that you and my lost relatives will grab it.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember;"Apart from Christ you are nothing."
Rachel Gwendolyn X (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Monday, December 24, 2012
Yea, I'm bragging!
As I anxiously await Christmas day my heart is filled with joy. My beautiful daughter is in flight as I write. I was just remembering her second Christmas. I can still see her racing around the tree on her red tricycle sucking on her bottle filled with diluted Coke.
I am blessed to have many good memories sandwiched in between the horror. My best memories are of my wonderful grandfather, Jerome Walters. No better man has ever walked this earth other than Jesus Christ. He loved Christmas. He much preferred giving over getting. (It is good thing because I don't remember my "mother" giving him anything but grief.)
He loved fruit cake and my Aunt Babe's dry thousand pound Pound Cake. No one ever had the courage to tell her that her pound cake was lousy. Granddaddy seemed to love it though. It was always dry and would some how clog in your throat.
It was at this time of the year that he would have his once a year "toddy". "A little wine for the stomach's sake." he would say. He didn't hold to drinking. "At the last it biteth as an adder." "Moderation in all things."
Of course I miss my grandfather but he is still with me, talks to me every day. He had no idea the evil his daughter was up to. We all just thought she was a lying violent whorish fool. How could we know that she was truly demonic? Granddaddy always called her "ignut". He knew about her "witchcraft", warned her that she was going to hell every day. I knew about her "witchcraft". I thought she was a superstitious idiot.
Little did I know of the deep hatred that she kept hidden from the world. I never imagined anyone could hate GOD and blame Him for their stupid mistakes.
My grandfather was a great storyteller. He told us that while he was sitting on his porch on a warm day in December (1941) a neighbor lady walked by visibly upset, hollaring; "WHAT KINDNA' WOMAN IS SHE!!!? WHAT KINNA WOMAN KILL ALL DEM BOYS!!!? She kept repeating that; "What kindna woman is she!!!?" "Who?"; he asked. "Dat PEARL HARBOR!" she screamed.
We laughed. The poor woman thought Pearl Harbor was a woman. Unfortunately evil women do exist on this earth. Evil women and men. We can't blame GOD. We have to blame ourselves. We let them exist. We lie and cloak for them. We are ashamed for the world to know that we have such wicked low down relatives. Why do we let them break us, crush us, until there is nothing left but dust?
"What kinna woman is she?" Only GOD knows. I assure you you don't want her. She is the burden in our family. Our secret, our unspeakable pain in the a**. She won't change, won't go away and won't die. Martha has no power. Yes, she is repulsively evil. Someone should have kicked her a** and put her in prison long ago. The fact is she is in prison, imprisoned by her wicked warped mind. Granddaddy couldn't help her. The C*** betrayed him with a bullet in the heart.
I let her betray and run over me for over 57 years. But one day GOD delivered me. From out of nowhere He gave me the courage to finally confront her. She carried on like the ignorant savage she is. Mad that I snatched that robe off, saw her clearly for what she really was my entire life, an ignorant demonic c***.
I don't remember every horrible thing she did to me, to us. But I remember enough. I've got sense enough to not go near her. I know that the ones that insist that I'm wrong and that I'm unforgiving are rotting in that pit with her.
She MURDERED my grandfather, broke my heart clean into. She had us raped and savagely sexually molested as little children. An unsatisfied feign she has stalked us our entire lives just to make sure we suffered more. Suffering slowly without knowing the true source, while remaining clueless to the orchestrator of our pain.
If you still love and can't do without her it is your own fault and you are going to get what you deserve. If you are greedy enough and stupid enough to believe that she has thousands of dollars stashed away for you, you are as stupid as she claims.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn X(the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
I am blessed to have many good memories sandwiched in between the horror. My best memories are of my wonderful grandfather, Jerome Walters. No better man has ever walked this earth other than Jesus Christ. He loved Christmas. He much preferred giving over getting. (It is good thing because I don't remember my "mother" giving him anything but grief.)
He loved fruit cake and my Aunt Babe's dry thousand pound Pound Cake. No one ever had the courage to tell her that her pound cake was lousy. Granddaddy seemed to love it though. It was always dry and would some how clog in your throat.
It was at this time of the year that he would have his once a year "toddy". "A little wine for the stomach's sake." he would say. He didn't hold to drinking. "At the last it biteth as an adder." "Moderation in all things."
Of course I miss my grandfather but he is still with me, talks to me every day. He had no idea the evil his daughter was up to. We all just thought she was a lying violent whorish fool. How could we know that she was truly demonic? Granddaddy always called her "ignut". He knew about her "witchcraft", warned her that she was going to hell every day. I knew about her "witchcraft". I thought she was a superstitious idiot.
Little did I know of the deep hatred that she kept hidden from the world. I never imagined anyone could hate GOD and blame Him for their stupid mistakes.
My grandfather was a great storyteller. He told us that while he was sitting on his porch on a warm day in December (1941) a neighbor lady walked by visibly upset, hollaring; "WHAT KINDNA' WOMAN IS SHE!!!? WHAT KINNA WOMAN KILL ALL DEM BOYS!!!? She kept repeating that; "What kindna woman is she!!!?" "Who?"; he asked. "Dat PEARL HARBOR!" she screamed.
We laughed. The poor woman thought Pearl Harbor was a woman. Unfortunately evil women do exist on this earth. Evil women and men. We can't blame GOD. We have to blame ourselves. We let them exist. We lie and cloak for them. We are ashamed for the world to know that we have such wicked low down relatives. Why do we let them break us, crush us, until there is nothing left but dust?
"What kinna woman is she?" Only GOD knows. I assure you you don't want her. She is the burden in our family. Our secret, our unspeakable pain in the a**. She won't change, won't go away and won't die. Martha has no power. Yes, she is repulsively evil. Someone should have kicked her a** and put her in prison long ago. The fact is she is in prison, imprisoned by her wicked warped mind. Granddaddy couldn't help her. The C*** betrayed him with a bullet in the heart.
I let her betray and run over me for over 57 years. But one day GOD delivered me. From out of nowhere He gave me the courage to finally confront her. She carried on like the ignorant savage she is. Mad that I snatched that robe off, saw her clearly for what she really was my entire life, an ignorant demonic c***.
I don't remember every horrible thing she did to me, to us. But I remember enough. I've got sense enough to not go near her. I know that the ones that insist that I'm wrong and that I'm unforgiving are rotting in that pit with her.
She MURDERED my grandfather, broke my heart clean into. She had us raped and savagely sexually molested as little children. An unsatisfied feign she has stalked us our entire lives just to make sure we suffered more. Suffering slowly without knowing the true source, while remaining clueless to the orchestrator of our pain.
If you still love and can't do without her it is your own fault and you are going to get what you deserve. If you are greedy enough and stupid enough to believe that she has thousands of dollars stashed away for you, you are as stupid as she claims.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn X(the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Oscillating ...
Oscillating, vacillating, running an eighty-seven year marathon back and forth from good to evil. One moment a good mother, the next minute extremely evil. It's as if she could never make up her mind to be good or evil, so she decided that she could be both. She always made sure she kissed and hugged you after she severely beat you. If she laid a vulgar "cussing" on you, cussed you from your head to your socks, called you every black muthaf******* sorry piece of worthless s*** known to man, it was always your fault.
No, there is no winning with Martha. You see SHE can't be wrong. "You duh Fool!...You duh lying s***! You jest jealous of me 'cause I'm yalla!...I'm an ordanined Minister! muthaf*****!...I'll lay my religion down a cuss yo' muthaf****** a** out and pick it up again!"
Yea she's funny alright. She is hilarious if she is not your mother. You do not want to be her target, her ping pong ball, her property, her "thing" to harass and toy with.
She always laughed; "Can't nobody forgit me!" You got that right sister. You will seek the LORD GOD Almighty. You will pray. You better find some medication and a therapist. Do it quickly, just as some as you can.
Don't put your life on hold waiting for this succubus to die. If you are a Walters and can make it past seventy, nine out of ten will see their 90s. Longevity runs in my family. So counting on looking forward to her dying real soon most likely will not happen. Plus she is too mean to die.
Yes it is baffling, mind boggling, unbelievable, incomprehensible, devastating, but all true. The worse truth is that she made me an outcast. No, not recently. I've been an outcast since birth. It seems every day of my life she would remind me that she gave "my black a** away", that my grandmother made her go get me. Perhaps it was the hurt in my eyes that would make her lie to me and tell me how much she loved me.
According to Martha she could have loved me if I hadn't been born so black. Color should not matter. But the fact is I'm brown. "It's a good thang God gave you "good hair"...dat's the only thang dat saved ya."
If I was so ruined as you claimed everyday why did you do so much to ruin me even more? Why did you try to pimp me out to your "huzband" when I was 14? The truth is you were really angry with me for not taking his money. You were mad with me for causing a scene in the motel (Ft.Gordon). You faked a fight and had him arrested, not for pandering or sex abuse, but for domestic violence. You drove right behind the mps (military police) and bonded him out.
We drove back to Fayetteville just like nothing ever happened. You laughed with him, hugged and kissed him, had loud vulgar sex with him with the door unlocked in the middle of the afternoon. I walked in on you two hogs and you never bothered to stop. You are a common woman!
You said you had no intentions of divorcing him because you had to "git dat money honey!". He went to Viet Nam and you sent him a long lustful vulgar pornographic love letter every other day while claiming that you hoped that he got killed.
If W***** had not sent that pretty young man your way there is no telling what you two buzzards had in store for me. When you wanted to get rid of Doster and marry R***, then I became an issue. Suddenly I was important. "Dat N**** molested my dawter!" you howled to the entire world.
You are a low life serpent . May the Dear LORD have mercy on your soul. You can't play ping pong with GOD. You can't get up in the pulpit on Sunday and live a lascivious reprobate life the rest of the week. You can call me all the liars you want to. You can cuss and curse me all you please. You told me not to "piss on your grave" when you're dead. Why would I want to do that?
So you hate me. So what, when did you not hate me? So my family shuns me. So what? If I have to accept you in order to be loved and honored by them, forget them too. GOD told me; "Come ye out from among them."
I will not honor and associate with a family that turns a blind eye and deaf ear to you. You and your kind can go straight to hell.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn X (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
No, there is no winning with Martha. You see SHE can't be wrong. "You duh Fool!...You duh lying s***! You jest jealous of me 'cause I'm yalla!...I'm an ordanined Minister! muthaf*****!...I'll lay my religion down a cuss yo' muthaf****** a** out and pick it up again!"
Yea she's funny alright. She is hilarious if she is not your mother. You do not want to be her target, her ping pong ball, her property, her "thing" to harass and toy with.
She always laughed; "Can't nobody forgit me!" You got that right sister. You will seek the LORD GOD Almighty. You will pray. You better find some medication and a therapist. Do it quickly, just as some as you can.
Don't put your life on hold waiting for this succubus to die. If you are a Walters and can make it past seventy, nine out of ten will see their 90s. Longevity runs in my family. So counting on looking forward to her dying real soon most likely will not happen. Plus she is too mean to die.
Yes it is baffling, mind boggling, unbelievable, incomprehensible, devastating, but all true. The worse truth is that she made me an outcast. No, not recently. I've been an outcast since birth. It seems every day of my life she would remind me that she gave "my black a** away", that my grandmother made her go get me. Perhaps it was the hurt in my eyes that would make her lie to me and tell me how much she loved me.
According to Martha she could have loved me if I hadn't been born so black. Color should not matter. But the fact is I'm brown. "It's a good thang God gave you "good hair"...dat's the only thang dat saved ya."
If I was so ruined as you claimed everyday why did you do so much to ruin me even more? Why did you try to pimp me out to your "huzband" when I was 14? The truth is you were really angry with me for not taking his money. You were mad with me for causing a scene in the motel (Ft.Gordon). You faked a fight and had him arrested, not for pandering or sex abuse, but for domestic violence. You drove right behind the mps (military police) and bonded him out.
We drove back to Fayetteville just like nothing ever happened. You laughed with him, hugged and kissed him, had loud vulgar sex with him with the door unlocked in the middle of the afternoon. I walked in on you two hogs and you never bothered to stop. You are a common woman!
You said you had no intentions of divorcing him because you had to "git dat money honey!". He went to Viet Nam and you sent him a long lustful vulgar pornographic love letter every other day while claiming that you hoped that he got killed.
If W***** had not sent that pretty young man your way there is no telling what you two buzzards had in store for me. When you wanted to get rid of Doster and marry R***, then I became an issue. Suddenly I was important. "Dat N**** molested my dawter!" you howled to the entire world.
You are a low life serpent . May the Dear LORD have mercy on your soul. You can't play ping pong with GOD. You can't get up in the pulpit on Sunday and live a lascivious reprobate life the rest of the week. You can call me all the liars you want to. You can cuss and curse me all you please. You told me not to "piss on your grave" when you're dead. Why would I want to do that?
So you hate me. So what, when did you not hate me? So my family shuns me. So what? If I have to accept you in order to be loved and honored by them, forget them too. GOD told me; "Come ye out from among them."
I will not honor and associate with a family that turns a blind eye and deaf ear to you. You and your kind can go straight to hell.
Stay in His WORD children. Remember; "Apart from Christ you are nothing."
May GOD's Grace, Mercy and Truth engulf you and cloak you and keep you in Perfect Peace,
Rachel Gwendolyn X (the exceedingly proud granddaughter of a great Patriarch, JEROME WALTERS)
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