For a lack of a better ...

word, I'll call it an unction, a feeling, a mysterious attraction. sincere one on one communication with  The LORD Jesus Christ.  From the first awareness of myself I've felt it. Of course I always knew my mother was extremely promiscuous.  No one made me aware of the three rapes she experienced as an eight year old child. Age eight, the same age as my savage rape.

Obviously she had issues stemming from that tragedy.  When families engage in lying, hiding, denying,  they are setting themselves up for a fall.  We must all Iive honestly. We must all find our GOD. We must all establish a one on one relationship with our Spiritual Power.

Do not scoff "oh ye of little faith."   Look at the Divine Order in my life.  I never fully grasped the true depth of her depravity.  Martha was in bad shape morally,  although she claimed to be normal.  Strangely I interpreted her behavior as a form of honesty. That was her excuse, men were whorish, therefore she was whorish.

My mother was so whorish, I thought it normal. Disgusting, but "normal"". She always played it off as "normal".  "Got tuh git dat money honey!"

"Get'dem 'fo they GIT you!  ... It is a po'rat ain't got but one hole.   Don't eva'ask me fo'no money! You sittin'on a gold mine."

Yes. that is "pimp mentality". Predatory, immoral and certainly out of the arc of safety.

This is the confusion, the double mindedness. "Be ye hot or cold, or get spewed."

PTL!