"Only by the Grace of God there go I"

My mother taught me that.  I will never know if she meant that sincerely or if it was part of her cunning.  My poor mother, a beautiful woman tuned demonic whore .  Lived, died and suffered as a demon laden deeply disturbed whore for 87 years.  That is not living.  That is vexation of the soul.

While my mother always bragged about how wonderful her life was, how she had it made,  luxuriated in the most beautiful house (for a black person),  had the handsomest husband,  most beautiful brilliant children, she never meant one word.

The proof is she was always comparing, ranking, envying, hating,  then ultimately plotting to destroy. My poor mother was caught in that loop, that vicious cycle.  She was violent and loved to spill blood.  Would do it in a heartbeat. No, I never talked back to her, never in 62 years.

My concern, polite questions about my rape was deliberately ginger, tender and the whore cursed me savagely anyway.

Again; "Because of a nail a shoe was lost, because of a shoe a horse was lost, because of a horse a battle was lost.  Because of a battle a war was lost."

Way, way , back a lie was told and perpetuated; "The color of one's skin matters. "If you're white you're right, if you are yellow you are mellow , brown stick around BUT IF YOU ARE BLACK GET BACK!"

That was the ignorance my mother lived under.  Loved it, swore by it of course.  Only because she was very light and that was all she had.  It is clear to me now that she was deeply ashamed of her carnal nature.  A nymphomaniac sex drive she could not or would not control.

I know my mother did not believe she could control her sexual urges.  That is exactly what she called them,  "urges.".  And since she was not about o change for anyone she did the next best thing, ruin and humiliate any and every one that she thought was fairing better in life than she was.

Yes Martha did confuse cruelty with courage .  But don't we all?  Bombing innocent people to smithereens, falsely believing labeling innocent women and children with names like "collateral damage" and "terrorists" makes it ok to take their lives.  Or just not knowing, turning the channel in a mad rush.  "I don't want to think about that right now. I am trying to save myself."

Like so many people Martha thought cunning and manipulation was a sign of intelligence, great intellect.  Like most people Martha was not about to read a book.  She was truly an anti-intellectual.  Martha was an intellectual parasite.  She was determined to live vicariously through your knowledge, what ever was filtered through the media,  and repeat what she heard and manufacture most of the "knowledge" she spread.

GOD tells us in His Word some of us will be "imprisoned" so that we might be tested.  He also admonishes us to "know our truth".  Why does Jesus have to encourage us to know our truth?  Of all  the people who know the true demonic nature of fallen man,  it is Jesus?  Judas, one of his very own beloved disciples betrayed him with a kiss.

So why am I shocked to finally learn that I was betrayed by my own mother?  My own mother putting my little infant flesh up to the highest bidder.  (I should say our).  Eleven human beings treated savagely in a savage world by their own so called mother.  (Five aborted, six survived) GOD tells us that they (these reprobates) would becomes lovers of themselves, without natural affection. (II Timothy could be renamed the Book of Martha)   Demanded to keep silent. I WON'T!

Such filth! An abomination and I'm supposed to keep silent because this world is not ready for my truth. Well, this wold better get ready.  This world is manufacturing such creatures at an astronomical rate.  The worse fact is, they have infiltrated our "Churches".  (Revelation 9:21)

I am in awe! I am humbled.  While I survived one of the worse mothers possible, GOD blessed me with the greatest grandfather and daughter.  I am so humbled and overjoyed just knowing these two wonderful people.  Yes, Virginia GOD does keep a ram in the bushes.

PTL!